What was supposed to be an inoffensive shutdown during the weekend for maintenance became a nightmare today. The storage went to the space thanks to a system admin who was supposed to know what is doing. Since there is no power button I just pulled the power cord, he said.

We have so many meetings where I work why are we good at them?

$ git push --force origin master

Programming is about thinking...

How times have changed...

It drives me crazy when I'm in the middle of coding and another dev member from my team interrupts my session to tell me something completely unrelated to work 😡

When you see

int i = 0;
while (int i == 0) {
//Code where nothing changes i
}

If you're going to create an infinite loop you could at least write it as

while (true) { }

and save me a little time wondering what the hell 'int i' is for!

Error Code: 200 OK

Wait.. what?

   Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”

Well that's right!

- Have you heard of the object oriented way to get wealthy?
- No...
- "Inheritance"

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

When a JavaScript date has gone bad,
“Don’t call me, I’ll callback you. I promise

Pushing code to production be like...

Tomorrow I'll do a Monday morning deployment. Hunf...

How DEVs try to hide bugs in a demo..

come on! are there any devs who have never ever googled an error message? :)

So do you have any co-workers or teammates who horde tasks and don't share knowledge? I hate those kind of people. Everytime I bring it in team's retrospective and that one asshole remains quite during the whole meeting, agrees to everything and continues to horde tasks again in the future. That affects the team performance and causes to form a single point of failure and recovery which is bad when working in a team. Share your experiences.

When life gives you lemons just "rm -rf" if that doesn't work try "sudo rm -rf".

Accepts placement at ** insert big Bank here ** reconsiders when:

1 - they forget to send a contract
2 - they lose your CV so they can't decide what you'll do for them.
3 - Forget to send you the email for one of the stages and you have to do everything past do.
4 - when after having to create accounts in 5 different of their systems they send you a Single Sign-On. Which doesn't work. And you spend 3 times on the phone to get it fixed.

I'm not due to even start in the next 2 months.

How I do code reviews

I am very happy that I found devRant. I work from home so ranting to other developers in person is impossible... thank you for filling that void.

Client: "Please make carrots with these tomato seeds."
Me: "But that's not possible."
Client: "These are strict requirements. Or we have to find someone who can."

** takes said tomatoes and makes them physically look carrots. Presents said carrots excited that I may pull this off **

Client: "These carrots are not blue like all known carrots. We've decided to go with someone else."

Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu

When your beta and live environments are not the same.

Roses are red
Exceptions are blue
Empty catch blocks are going to hurt you!

try
{ somethingVeryDangerous() }
catch { // No Op
}
finally { SaveFile() }

when your work machine is actually a potato and build/ reload takes 5mins. zzzz

Thanks guys :)

Any OSX users like me who never got to make Docker work on their machines?

Still waiting for someone to come and get me at the front desk. Been here for 15 minutes. Oh, this project will be fun!!!