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Production is down, a coworker got himself locked in his own apartment so he can’t leave and another is late, the phone won’t stop ringing
And I don’t have the credentials to access the production server
Just a monday morning, everything’s fine 🔥😊🔥7 -
Sit down at desk
Open VSCode
Stare are my code for a good 5 minutes
Get up
Goto kitchen
Make extra strong cofee
Drink. It. All.
Sit down
Re attempt to decipher last weeks code.....
Mondays.9 -
Every Monday morning:
I hate this 9-5 life. This kind of time constrains should not be allowed. I will not allow someone else to control my life. *gets ready to make rebel group and protest against government*
10 minutes later:
*sigh* *Opens up Visual Studio*10 -
Woke up early. Feel great. Even office coffee tastes great. Today is going to be a good day.
Lead QA: - Hey I'm fixing some stuff in production, and now I can't reach it. Do you have the same problem?
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY, GO FIX YOUR OWN PROBLEM CUNT.
COFFEE TASTES FUCKING GREAT.
2 -
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?11 -
My biggest tip to new developers? Embrace your ignorance, don't be embarrassed by it. Let it inspire you to learn as much as you can, let it humble you into asking questions when you're stuck, let it prepare you to change within an industry that is anything but static. Admitting you don't know something isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity 😃6
-
When you walk into work and see this, it makes you want to walk right back out.
(Each display is a separate Ubuntu box. Six of them were down. Six.)
12 -
Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.
I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.
I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?
After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.
My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.
FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.2 -
I'm gonna have a job interview in my dream company tomorrow.
Agile, Java, an awesome atmosphere and much to learn.
I hope I will get that job.12 -
A Monday morning poem
I enter the bureau, feeling all relaxed and well,
my colleague looks up:
"Abandon all hope, welcome to hell."
This indeed, he doesn't say,
his face only twists a little in dismay:
"I need that schematic, did you finish it yet?
And there also some tests I'd like to get -
how was your week-end by the way?"
I start my computer, don't remember what I say ...
I grab some coffee, half a day is gone,
the PM pressures: "I want that asap done!"
I am cluttered in tasks and bullshit, too:
"Go fuck you right now - yes, I meant you!"
I don't say what I like to, I mentally punch a wall,
I crank some more code out and git-commit it all.
Some devRant on the lunch-break, some shallow talk,
I leave the building and take a short walk.
My mind rotates, I cannot enjoy the scenery now,
I return to my desk, and figure out what to handle and how.
But my plans are crashed by a colleague dashing in:
"I need you to do a test setup! I need to begin -"
I do the setup, I do some other stuff,
At the end of the day I feel totally rough,
Work is piling up even more -
"Tomorrow", I think and close the door.
At home, I just flop on on my bed -
I should be learning instead ... -
with some pizza and chill.
I think about sleeping, I hope that I will.
...
It is now Friday,
my brain is fried, too.
I am finished with this poem - how about you? :)7 -
Delivered project this monday and gave the client one week where he can request changes free of charge. Changes made since monday: 43. This will be the last time I provide this service6
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I hate how everyone is always complaining on social media about the fact that it is monday. Don't make it our problem that you don't like your job3
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It's all about the little things. Like getting my first cup of coffee of the day while watching all the AWS alarms trigger one by one.
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When you start work on Monday and need half a day to remember what you actually did on Friday.
Someone knows this too ?
3 -
Me: Right, its Monday, time for a fresh start. Things have been unbearable, but i've nowhere else to go just yet. I gotta just dig deep, ignore everything bad and just get it done, It's all about positivity right? Lets just ignore the little things and keep moving.
*My morning so far, 2 hours in*
Remote dev: (timezone 5 hours earlier than me) Hey so whats the plan for this quarter?
Me: ... I posted a big detailed plan in the group chat on Friday night so you wouldn't be delayed ... but anyway, lets just move on. I need you to work on A, B and C. A is just copying what Android has already done, for B one of the backend guys working next to you is doing this, he'll be able to help you. C is all documented in the ticket.
Remote dev: cool thanks.
Local dev: So I was just chatting with remote dev ... yeah he told me he has no idea what he's suppose to do.
Me: ..... Ok i'll book a video call with him in the morning. Can't do it right now.
==========
Remote dev: Hey i'm helping the BE team do some testing. I found a bug in Android. Homepage says theres no trips. But Offers screen says there is.
Me: Ok so just to confirm, The "available" offers screen has offers to accept, but the white notification on the homepage saying "You have X offers to accept" is not showing up?
Remote dev: Correct!
*debugging for 5 mins*
Remote dev: actually no, the "accepted" offers tab has offers, but the homepage says there are no upcoming offers to work on.
Me: ..... ok, thats very different ... but sure, let me have a look.
Me: Right so the BE are ... again ... sending down expired offers. Looks like the accepted tab isn't catching it and the homepage is.
Remote dev: Right i'll open a ticket for Android.
Me: ... and BE team.
Remote dev: why?
Me: ... because they once again have timezone issues. This keeps causing issues in random places. BE need to fix this everywhere.
Remote dev: right, i'll chat to them and see if they can fix it.
==========
Product: So this ticket xxxxx is clear right?
Me: eh, kind of, so you want us to add feature X to user type A?
Product: correct.
Me: right but I don't see anywhere talking about the time it will take to build the screen for feature X
Product: What do you mean the screen?
Me: ... well, feature X is only accessible on screen Y ... we would have to change screen Y to support user type A ... you know ... so they can ... use the feature
Product: .... hhhhmmm .... i suppose you are right. Well we can't just add screen Y, we'll have to add W and Z, it won't make sense without them.
Me: ... ok sure, but our estimates put us over for this quarter. I don't think we can just add in 3 screens.
Product: No this is a must have.
Me: Ok so we'll have to drop something else.
Product: hhhmmm, don't think we can ... let me get back to you.
==========
Backend team invited me to a meeting at 6am my time on Friday.
==========
... 2 hours into Monday ... there must be vodka around here somewhere1 -
I found something even more effective than coffee on hard Mondays mornings. A fresh cup of technology, just the right quantity of silicium, transistors and sensors with a pinch of cloud connectivity.
9 -
Boss: do you remember the other team? we need to fix one of their bugs
Me: amm, okey np
Boss: do it when you have time, but don’t forget to finish your things first.. and we need that fix by the end of the day.
Me: //what a beautiful monday <3 -
Apparently Eclipse is an indispensable tool for putting Zen in your coding!
Source: https://turnoff.us/geek/...
3 -
Found out a senior dev threw me under the bus for a mistake I made while coding and it affected my raise. Not only was I never initially informed of the mistake, I was never told what went wrong and why it needed fixing. We also don't implement code reviews or anything of the sort. Seems like a great avenue for improvement and growth, right? 😑5
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I had security reopen our test-user last week. I could run the tests once, then they started failing with "blocked user due to too many attempts at logging in". Huh, that's weird. I go through everything, every script, every scheduled task, every nook and cranny of every drive on every machine I could reach, and make sure the password is updated everywhere. Reopen account. Same shit.
I email around to some people, they don't use it, one guy asks if I checked x, y and z, I did. Then he's sure we don't use it anywhere else.
It's one of our fucking contractors that took one of our scripts (that they're supposed to have duplicate copies of) and forgot to change to their own credentials. That's literally the agreement, take our scripts and change the user and run them on your machines.
Afhfjdkdhdjdbd stop locking me out of everything with your incompetence. I email them, some cunt gets back to me asking for the new password. NO. USE. YOUR. OWN. CREDENTIALS. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM, THEY'RE HERE IN THE LIST AND BEING USED IN ALL OTHER SCRIPTS AAAAAAAAAHHH6 -
Ever have one of those days that you want to high-five people? With a chair? In the face? That is the day I'm having now. Mondays suck.4
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VP: "this is a great idea that will increase sales by 100% and save 10k a year."
Well, if I just made up numbers to justify my shitty projects I'd be a fucking liar, but I guess that's why you're in charge. You just magically know things without doing any research to see how wrong you are. -
Tomorrow is monday...
Monday...
That fucking shit day which cause feelings like being lost forever...8 -
Oh for fucks sake on a horse raping twat of a week.
It’s like everything that could go wrong did go wrong, from people fucking up, to orders being fucked up in multiple systems to me wanting to break someone’s fucking nose for being a complete dumb fuck. Seriously how do people that do a job, day in and day out go completely fucking brain dead and fuck things up beyond fucking repair over hundreds of orders.
Sorry but FUCK this shit, it can wait till fucking Monday you cunt rash of a shit. -
To all of you that is saying Friday release is horrible, you have no idea how bad Monday release is :(2
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When your week has been so busy and exhausting you remember at 1PM Friday you have a deadline for Monday morning and force yourself to do a weeks worth of work in 4 hours and deploy it on a Friday without QA testing!
To future me - I apologise for Monday’s headaches. -
[9:10]
CTO (works as a team lead): You here?
Me: Yes 👍
CTO: After doing X, Y and Z I broke X. That should not happen. You do understand, that this is not a good UX?
Me (asked CTO X amount of times to hire a a good designer, because I’m not): Well, we made the backend receive Y when X is triggered so B can be passed. I can tell the user to do Y in order to do Z.
CTO: NO, you will not. Do what I’ve said.
DUDE WTF? YOU FUCKING 🐎 I WILL BLOW YOU BRAINS WITH MY MORNING NAUSEA AND DIARRHOEA. FUCKING DIPSHIT ALLOWS HIS BAD MOOD AFFECT OTHER EMPLOYEES. HOW THE FUCK YOURE A CTO.
IM NOT GOING TO REWRITE THE CENTER PIECE OF OUR APPLICATION IN A DAY, WHICH TOOK US MONTHS TO MAKE. FUCK OFF
Monday, hurray 🥳 -
Happy @Sunday,
May you enjoy the last few hours of stressless paradise before our evil lord @Monday appears!11 -
I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.
Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".
Uh..okay...what the? >_>
Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.
Wow... and that was just the first call.1 -
I NEED MY SLEEP FFS!!! It is 06:20 in the morning and I am already on the train to work because one of our managers felt the need to plan a meeting from 08:00 on monday morning to explain EXACTLY why something does not work.
Needless to say that she is no dev (or has technical know how)!
But the best part is:
THE INVITATION FOR THE MEETING WAS SEND OUT FRIDAY EVENING SO THERE IS NO PREPARATION-TIME WHATSOEVER!!!
Fuck5 -
Got an Acer 18.5" monitor.
Took me more than an hour to get correct resolution on my lubuntu.
And still looking for answer and fixing.
I know I will eventually fix it soon (hopefully).
But this kind of things shouldn't exist in this days and age :/21 -
When your work laptop decides it wants to take 45 minutes to update Monday morning...
(I'm looking at you MacOs...)
10 -
Where has phpbench been all my life?
Hiding in a git repo I've never stumbled upon 😍
There goes my weekend, Time to let the benches speak for themselves.
https://github.com/phpbench/...1 -
That moment when it's Sunday and you cannot wait for the new Weekly Rant theme to be announced on Monday.
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Unbelievably slow connection. Wanted to do speed test so I can post with proof. The connection disconnected the moment I click the "Test speed" button.
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Dead to the world for a while and I'm back to bitch about how hard it is to come up with a thesis project. Woe is me, hope you're all having a better Thursday than I am10
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What are you all planning on getting on Black Friday/Cyber Monday? I've pinched pennies all year and saved up just enough to only be able to afford 35% or so of the cost of being beaten in a local dark alley. That's not even what I wanted, but still.16
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Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi
Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!2 -
I have just done my manicures yesterday evening. And, it's so nice to look at when you have your nails done from my point of view, especially when coding. So much view and can really boost self esteem, lets you smile, and motivated to work though I don't usually love Mondays because yeah, another manic Monday.
I just so love my manicures today, despite the allergies that I still have, the enhancement code that has not yet been deployed by our ever loving, supreme, Grandmaster turd, let's just name him, John Doe.
P.S. please not be easily removed manicures. For you are the only source of my happiness and my motivation to go to work (because bills is too mainstream and will always be the classy reason also)3 -
I feel like I have started to grasp the very essence of software development
For 2 weeks now, I have either slept 3-1.30 hours per night or not at all
And I can't drink coffee without spending 2 hours in toilet after each cup
FUCK😣 -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
Today may be the day I walk the fuck out... Almost done with the 3rd revisions of the fucking website and guess what?
To - “Anony”
Subject - website
Hey, here’s a list of changes we’d like for the website. Instead of following the theme of “WhateverTheFucksHopsital.html” we’d like for it to look similar to “AnotherFucksWebsite.html”. The board would like to see this up and running in the next week.
How’s about you sit and spin. You haven’t given me any information on a website only that you want it to look like some other hospitals. Then, you add photographer to my fucking job description as well as information hunter. You can fuck yourself and higher an outside company to create your website from scratch again for the now 4th fucking time. Then, you’ll understand and see just how fucking expensive it is... Nor will that company take your shit with the lack of information coming from your end. You can kindly, suck my dick.2 -
Don't you guys feel like sometimes we make a huge deal in regards to what is basically grabbing a bunch of shit from a db and making it display on a flipping website?
I sometimes feel bored at how repetitive this shit is. Its the same shit, with various degrees of complexity to do that get data and post data or update data.
I dunno man, sometimes i just feel like there is too much for something that is inherently simple.3 -
PSA: DON'T I repeat DON'T use DD before noon.
You will end up like me and overwrite your primary data drive which you haven't backed up since over a year. This method has a 100% (1/1) success rate and will drastically decrease your will to live.
Also FUCK MONDAYS!4 -
You always think of the young buck, fresh-out-of-school hotshot devs as being the ones who are obsessed with chasing the Hot New Thing at the cost of stability and maintainability, but our head of front end is old enough to be my father and he's only getting worse and worse about forcing buzzword compliance on the company. New framework every six months. New language every two years. Containers on VMs on cloud boxes. I've got milk in my fridge that's older than our tech stack and probably twice as stable.
Apparently age only brings wisdom if you're capable of giving a fuck.6 -
It's Don't-Kill-Your-Coworkers Monday! Vent here while looking at this cute-ass picture instead of ending lives.
6 -
What a horrible monday today was. Fuck-all worked. Missed deadline. Not much sleep. Heart is racing.
But hey, the horoscope in the daily toiletpaper press knows it all better, as usual, 100% IQ:
💫"You have finally found your center. Your body and soul are feeling great and your're in tune with yourself. You are enjoying it and would love to share your experiences with your loved one."💫
Where is my rocket launcher??? I have to kill a newspaper.6 -
now that monday is almost over for me, here's a couple of questions:
1) From 0-10, how good was it for you?
2) Had you read it, would you say my post wishing you a passable monday worked?19 -
Best part of living alone... lip syncing ktv (karaoke) and dancing like no one's watching.
Oh Happy Moon Festival2 -
Some things should be prohibited! Such as trying to look smart luring geeks with PHP code. That does not do what you wanted to do in the first place. Idiots!
4 -
Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!
(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)
1 -
Came to work this morning with a bunch of cards coloured red, marked "urgent"...
And it's Monday... the day after Sunday...
The blues day...
Blue's my favourite colour, but this blue (and reds) I do not like...
Ok snoozy mind of mine... wake up!!1 -
This is so far my worst Monday.
Ran to Emergency (A&E) because I was having breathing problems. Came back to work with Inhaler.
Work started with type casting and linker errors.
I hope the day ends well :( -
Reach office early and you know what stack over flow is down god save me it's 15 minutes already some one please up it.
Bad start for monday.
1 -
Monday. Missed my two alarms. Woke up on time anyways. Got to the office early to be on time. Now i am waiting all my colleagues.. idk if today everyone took a day off or i am being pranked 🤔 #hatemondays2
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Asking every other fucking day if your shitty low priority bug has been fixed yet is not going to make me fix it any quicker.
I’ve said I’ll let you know when it’s done, all asking me does is piss me off. Maybe if you had some actual work to do you wouldn’t keep annoying dev with your dumb-ass requests.
Actually I released a fix this morning, I’m just going to keep that information to myself for a while.1 -
I had so much fun working on my side projects this weekend that now I'm sad to spend next 5 days on client projects.3
-
So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...3
-
Had a very productive day today:
1. Fixed a small bug
2. Ordered Tab S6
3. Watched the entire season of a Netflix show4 -
These days are long days...
Not yet fully burnt out. Soon tho. And I am really looking forward to taking a few months off between this degree and the next and traveling a bit. ( That is, if I finally manage to finish this damn degree... )6 -
In good news today: my donut 🍩 looked abit like the surprized picachu meme.
In the sad news section: theres mostly meetings and bad micro management.
4 -
Don't get me wrong I love the weekly rants!
...but on mondays I just genuinely don't use devRant because reading about the same topic over and over again becomes boring so quickly.1 -
Scheduled my ITIL exam, Getty everything setup and ready to go... log in... exam starts in 1 day and 0 hours...
I guess being a day early is better than a day late? -
You know you're up too early if all you can see is
- null persons
- one car
but you hear
- a quadrillion birds squatting
'YOU HAVN'T FINISHED THIS TASK'
on your way to work 😭2 -
Couple of the senior devs were reviewing some legacy service code, vilifying everything that was done. Too many files, not enough files, too many lines of code, etc. Standard Monday-Morning-Quarterback nonsense. Then they came across Thread.Sleep() in various exception handlers. The passive-aggressive -bleep- hit the fan. 'Idiot', 'Moron', "People don't know how to code..", etc. dog-pile rants for a good 5 minutes.
I thought "Code is only a couple of years old and had very little changes..I'll bet the original developer is still here."
So I look at the change history and sure enough the original developer was one of the dog-pilers, and the other dev changed the code just last year. Comments like "Major refactoring", "Increased Performance", etc and the changes were only removing comment blocks, and other stylecop suggestions. Oh...there was one change was Thread.Sleep(6000) to Thread.Sleep(1000). I guess that did technically "increase performance"
Would I get fired if I said "Shut the -bleep- up you -bleep-ing -bleep- heads" ? Hmm...probably. Better keep my opinions on devrant. -
So today I accidentally updated more than 3000 records in a table and wasn’t using transactions so I couldn’t Rollback, LOL had the whole team freak out this Monday morning and we had to pull a backup6
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Holy shit what a Monday of a Monday! I ain’t trying to stay late I got other shit to do! If new and unusual errors can wait til tomorrow to pop up that’d be greaaaaaaattttt!
-
"This MONDAY, you can have a day to yourself." (as the university is hosting something all day long)
> Finally can start this. Yayy!
(THE Gang of Four)
3 -
Just another monday morning. Me trying to boot my Linux VM on Windows:
1. Try: VirtualBox crashes right after boot of VM
2. Try: Windows crashes during boot of VM
3. Try: Now it's working.4 -
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
It's only Monday. Why do i feel so tired. T_T
Today's work:
- 3hrs check point meeting on Project A
- quick API fix, testing and dev assistance on Project A
- prelive deployment of Module B
- code review and enhancements for Script C
- prelive deployment and testing for Script C4 -
Wow fuck today. I took the day off to watch the eclipse yesterday so coming in today was like Monday squared. Right off the bat I have somebody from last week that I had spend around 8 hours working to get their system right call in and tell me they were cancelling even though everything just got working right.
Also got tasked with documenting the servers which wouldn’t be rant worthy if the dev that set them up didn’t get cranky whenever I ask for credentials or even a rough overview of how the server stack is configured. Then I get a ticket about how a customer is going to get his data from his ‘web guy’ but this customer has been keeping his data in our system for the better part of a decade. Wtf you getting bro? And who is this web guy? What data does he have? Nobody seems to know. And just to smear shit on top it turns out I swapped the addresses on the car parts I sold on eBay and now I have to do 2 returns and cross ship and almost definitely get negative feed back. Fuck everything.
All this before lunch. After lunch I still have the same problems but at least I got chicken!1 -
“Oh I don’t have access to the repo and I’ve been on leave for 2 weeks, I’ll just pair* with you all day over VC”
*pair = question all your variable names5 -
Ordered a slightly watered down version of my planned PC. Let's wait for Cyber Monday for buyer's remorse!
Either way, paid half price of the planned rig for 80% of the same performance.
See attached specs. Already have a hard drive and PSU, and for now will be reusing my GTS 250.
8 -
So me being illiterate fuck in C++ and shit, I just broke a build of one of the biggest Autodesk's softwares for hundreds of people around the world and didn't realize it until around a day later (now) after feeling weird about those tens of new mails..
Weeeell, apparently 96.0 isn't float, heh:))))
Now everyone has seen my shit code and wants me to rewrite it using some of their classes, hihihi
Feel ashamed af.... sorry guys1 -
Today was a real Monday (I know it's Wednesday, let me explain).
Nothing worked. Not for me and not for my coworker. Across all tasks that we did today. It was very frustrating and a lot of swearing was involved.
Every week has to have a Monday I guess. Let's hope tomorrow gets better.1 -
So I rush to job just to find a power outage on the building , don't know if I should be happy to have "nothing" to do or be sad cause I have a lot to do but can't 😓
-
It realy just warms my heart when the customer provides us with software that I need to go through manually and test every method individual before we can start implement it. Then I have to spend hours testing every fucking bit of it to make sure the modules we control with said sw doesnt meet their untimely doom cause the sw is too broken to actually run.
Any.net developers on this plattform? If you doesnt use these xml comments for commenting methods, you're on my hit list.
I realy hate these back-alley developers. Sorry of I sound salty and whiny but seriously. These past 3 weeks, most of my time Ive just worked around issues instead of solving them, cause their sw just keeps chaining good coding down to the ground. And theres no documentation cause "we have higher priorities ", testing is done by us at release cause "its faster and we dont make mistakes" and worst of all, our contact quote on quote "senior experienced developer lead design im far up my own ass and way more experienced than you" guy is a consultant who is only reachable about 2h on a daily basis.
Tldr: we live in a society. -
Friday afternoon 5:00pm: everything works wonderfully fine, let's go home!!
Monday morning 9:30am: Let's do some more test on the latest code I have wr.... KABOOOOM!!! -
Monday Motivation for Web Developers.
document.getElementsByTagName('html')[0].style.display = "none"; -
get to the office at 5:45AM to do a migration because the client doesnt want to automate it.. but pays extra for the inconvenience...
-
Monday morning,
I grab a cup of coffee, and move to my desk happily,
With a smile on my face and with the excitement to have a productive day,
I open my laptop to check my mails.
"3 Escalation mails + 1 mail that proves i'm stupid, with the entire team in CC."
:'(2 -
Today was a real monday... Untill the lunch break nothing worked even the slightest bit, there was a lot of swearing in the office, afterwards it got better but still wasn't very productive.
So, how was your day?7 -
If a team uses multiple languages and stacks (Have, JS, Python) do you think it's better to have everyone use/constantly switch between them or have dedicated developers for each language (ie. 80% main, 20% others)?
--END QUESTION, ANSWER NOW BEFOREHAND CONTINUING---
---BEGIN RANT---
My boss likes keeping the team "will rounded" so everyone does everything. One month in working in Java, the next with Node web apps. When I switch to node, it takes like a week of "wtf doesn't it work.... what changed, is it a big?" And usually end it"oh right I remember I need to ..."
And also always... "How the fuck do I write tests in {some reading framework} again?"
So feels like everyone is just a generalist and no one is a master/has time to develop mastery. I don't know if it's just me (1/3 Senior developers on the team that has to do everything) or if I'm the only one that complains... Not that it makes a difference... (Only option to really be heard is to resign but I need to somewhere else to work and finding one is hard for personal reasons)
And well this is the biggest reason I would leave the team. No time for mastery, no standardization/shared knowledge (everyone does their own thing but probably not well and no time for testing or documentation; how the fuck does whatever you wrote work, how do we use it, what the fuck did you put in prod that does ... And where the fuck did you put it cuz it's not in ANY of our repos).
I always feel one day soon it will come crashing down and I can say "I told you so" but will then it's too late and I'll be there one cleaning it up... Again6 -
I feel like that most +1's are given during the work hours when the devs are twiddling their thumbs or waiting for the codes to compile. So here is a rant testing this hypothesis.
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Starting the Monday with a good old heap corruption in a c# project that uses only managed code.
Occurs on 2/3 PCs.
Today is going to productive :/ -
When Monday comes round and all you can think about traveling to work is the giant pull request you were asked to review on Friday 🙈
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(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
It's 4AM in the morning I and after a pleasent past 4 days, I woke up to this piece of fucked up forced feed shit.. me whole PC is stuck in boot and makes no noise after Windows forced fucked me on every single I/O with their shit piece of orgy:ed up excuse of an update.... Dear good.. this is the best fucking start of a week..... ಠ╭╮ಠ
So fucking done with this pile of bukkake.. Ubuntu, take me in!!2 -
Focused on debugging Javascript after being asked for help. Original developer narrowed it down to an if statement. It was acting like the if statement was assigning the variable and causing undefined. Tested console.log before evaluation. Tried !== instead of != and same thing. Even swapped undefined and variable so it would try to assign a variable named undefined instead... It took way too long for the both of us to realize the word "let" in front of the variable on the line withing the if statement block... It overwrite the variable the moment it entered the block.... FML.1
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"Could not complete cursor operation because the table schema changed after the cursor was declared"
So, our customer is updating their side of the database, while their own users continue to use our software. Would've been nice if we got word of the maintenance window too.1 -
Facepalm Monday...
My collegue denies to provide breaking changes in our login API in a separate version to the other teams depending on it.
What is the reason for his stubborn rejection?
It's scrum. We haven't planned the effort for realising a versioning concept for our API.
Let's build it in the next sprint as a part of live deployment strategy.
The point he miss is that the ProductOwner wants his API change deployed during the next sprint.
Additionally, it is best practice, having a compatible, deployable product after each sprint, without any risks.
Furthermore, another best practice to provide your API is one URI without a version part holding the current development of the API. And URIs with a version part in it to keep a specific request/response structure and behavior.
What really grind my gears are sayings like 'if the other teams had well programmed their software, modifying our API won't have any effect on them'
C'mon dude. That's far from reality, as anybody knows.
I can't accept, we provide unprofessional API builds, as he is going to do.
So, i have to spend my time and energy to change his mind, together with other software-architects, planning the big thing API-Gateway *sigh*2 -
After party weekend trying my best being on time.
I am 15 minutes to later then I normally start.
I'm still the first
#MONDAYS -
You know your life is fucking with you, when you need to start your college project from square-fucking-one again, for the forth time & looking through devRant isn't improving your mood. 😐2
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Friday me: writes a few hundred lines of code.
Saturday me: I know exactly what to do.
Sunday me: *thinks of new ideas for said code*
Monday me: *feels like death* what is this shit on my screen?! *realizes this is mine* what the fuck was I thinking?!?! *deletes everything but one line*
Monday me (later in the day): *one line still there* well...time to go home I've done my work for the day! -
I have gotten to the point that I need to remember with exact details how my weekend went. It's become a common Monday question.
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Monday morning meetings:
- Reminding designers what the app looks like to then discuss a defect.
- Reminding everyone else where the online meeting link is, despite the fact we have used it everyday, for the past 7 weeks. -
Webpack? More like Fudgepack 😡
OK sure, I know it's cool to rip on Webpack without taking 5 minutes to understand it, but I really have tried. Every time I want to do anything which used to be trivial with grunt, gulp or brunch, it requires a whole bunch of sorcery and every post I see online around the same topic inevitably ends with something like "that's not modular", "WebPack doesn't work like that", "you're holding your phone wrong" etc. And it's not like I'm someone who is afraid of new or uncomfortable things. I try new languages almost as often as there are new JavaScript fads (OK maybe not THAT often). I use "weird" keywords and experiment with different key maps all the time. I swap my daily window manager on an almost quarterly basis (and xmonad is no picnic as an introduction to Haskell). But what the fuck is it with so many people in positions of influence in the frontend world always taking one step forward, two steps back and an occasional hop sideways when it comes to tooling (and dragging everyone else along with them)?
How did such a turd of a tool become defacto for so many frontend frameworks? Do hard core JavaScripters just really really hate outsiders and want to deter others from their precious as much as possible? Fuck Webpack and fuck everyone responsible for helping it permeate so thoroughly through the software development industry.2 -
Monday morning
Get to work
Open email
Ci went crazy
Slack is on fire
Some npm modules deprecated approach
Rewrite docker files
Some other npm modules disappeared.
I hate you web technologies, I hate you developers who make releases Friday night.
I hate everything.
Ffs on the weekend just build Ikea fornitures instead of fiddling with my stack!
Sigh.2 -
Monday morning.
That uneasy feeling on your stomach when you feel upset about Monday morning.
Is there a word to explain this?6 -
Random thought while upgrading schema and manually recreating 100+ rows table; when looking for a job, make sure you look for one where company focuses on employing brainpower, not manpower.. 🤦♂️ 🙄
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How do you know that you are stuck in a job without longterm perspective (besides some undefined gut feeling)?
And what to do then? It seems to me, only possible action is to change job. Is there any, less extreme, alternative? -
TFW you realize it's Monday, and you forgot the where clause in your SQL Statement
(22 row(s) affected)2 -
Ever get the feeling of enthusiasm on a Monday when you decide you are going to finish the project way before time but then you sit it in front of your IDE and you just want to cry and sleep.
I am going through that right now. -
Context: at my current job I work as a product photographer as well as studio admin. On side I go online to different brands websites in search for product images (if we haven't the product in store yet).
Now the banger, I searched for some peacoat colored pants but the brand didn't put it out yet. Pulling out some Super AI hacks I changed some stuff and things in the URL (color ID + small amount of ?doThisAndThatPhP) and... BOOM result! Right color, high Res image. The Color isn't searchable or shown via Google or the brands page, but the image is already on their server 🤔*yoinking the image*
Just wanted to share it with you guys 👌 none at my coworkers speak computer 😔
cheers ☕1 -
Monday is forever monday...
Even if we try to forget tha day it is...
Monday is always monday...
Sob sob... -
!dev
I hate $ .99.... spent all morning trying to figure out how to get free shipping.
Tried looking for a filler item but nothing good. Then looked at some funko-pop figures but not that interested... and still cost $10
Finally just went asked them to waive it... but still... that took almost an hour...
And now back to regularly scheduled programming... with 1hr less sleep....oh n it's a Monday...
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Wrapping up at the end of the day, telling my colleague we can pick the rest of the task when we return on Monday..........only to find out we ARE Monday
Not sure where I hit my head today, but holy shit it sucks.
T-4 I guess -
Why the F is my console.log not printing to the console!?!?!?!......level left as "Errors only" #doh4
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It's Monday. Had to revert changes I did last week. Suddenly web nodes become unresponsive for no apparent reason and need a hard reboot.
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so what is worse than monday morning?
It's finding the right angle for your macbook pro screen because the office changed the fucking lights and they reflect more than ever.
AND THEY ARE BRIGHT AS HELL. MY EYES BURN!3 -
Worked some OT this weekend to get a project over the finish line. Got all my tests passing once again. Ready for a PR, but I had a few questions about some missing members I was expecting to initialize on my results.
"Oh you you just need to update the PublishedLanguage package."
"Yeah. I'm on the latest version: <package.service.name * 0.1.7-alpha.4>"
"Oh, that one is rubbish and should have been removed last week. you want <package.service.stupidfuckingdifferentname * 0.3.0-alpha.9>"
godfuckingdammit. of course, every class is completely different now. i literally get to re-do my sunday. on a fucking monday. -
Nothing like starting your Monday morning with a call from your senior developer saying that the merge went horribly.
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Q: You know it's Monday when...
A: (typing)... (buffer overflow)
Because you had a bad.. *Segfault*.
Well fyck, spilled me coffee now tho.. -
Monday morning brain funk while looking at a support case right now.
Apparently there is a listbox (zkoss) that lets you select users via check box to send emails/alerts whatever.
If you select 3 users it counts the number correctly, but it doesn't iterate through and find the 3 actually selected 😂
Instead it just reads the number selected and iterates through that many times from 0 🤔
Happy Monday 😂😂😂1 -
Monday morning. I need to write an API with crap client documentation and we don’t yet have access to the clients API. They don’t really have a clue what they’re doing and create their shit following a script so they can employ people with limited technical knowledge.
Our API is embedded in a system that I don’t fully understand and can’t really test locally.
Fuck this shit, I can’t be arsed and I want to go back to bed. -
--- Before Monday morning
Relaxation level: 999
--- Monday morning
The joy to come back from small holidays... and being welcomed with "this is broken, this doesn't work, this stopped working" and writing emails the whole morning to providers "please fix dis, and dat, and dis, is broken since months"
Provider: "o sry, we didn't notice :< pliz wait next week until fixed, thnk u"
Relaxation level: NaN -
That feeling when you hear: "Goood monday morning, I am MPJ and you are watching Fun Fun Function!" Definitely, I love monday mornings 😄2
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The feeling you get on fixing an issue after breaking your head the entire day and you fix it just in time to leave home... One bug a day 🖖
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On friday -
I got a feeling🎶
Tonights gonna be the last night for coding.
Fuck no, its a universal law there will be monday. -
Monday commute, and the infrastructure between my city and Kortrijk was all messed up.
Result, an hour of standing still -
Typical monday... the new funcionality I have to implement on frontend requires additional changes on backend (out of my reach). So I wait. And in the meantime I switch to bugfixing and suddenly some tester changes the data in the scenario (a very specific one) I was working on.
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Thats gonna be a nice Monday.. I am back after two weeks of holidays and still have a little hangover. My co-worker, who should be responsible for my hand-over is spontaneously in holidays for two weeks and the PM is sick. Typically I start working as early as possible, what's around 7:30. Now I have to wait for another co-worker who can bring me up to date, but he will arrive at round about 10. So I think I will read those 30 PRs which were merged the last two weeks...
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Be me:
Said on Friday the API was looking unstable.
Get a text on Sunday afternoon that SHTF.
Guess what got made a priority on Tuesday? -
"Webpack not working if its Monday"
https://github.com/JeffreyWay/...
I don't see the issue here? Not working on Monday is completely expected behavior, at least for humans. Why shouldn't this apply to software? -
good thing about working from home all weekend is that on Monday at work you don't have that shitty feeling "it's fucking Monday".
Plus, you meet some humans after 2 days in the cave2
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