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Production is down, a coworker got himself locked in his own apartment so he can’t leave and another is late, the phone won’t stop ringing
And I don’t have the credentials to access the production server
Just a monday morning, everything’s fine 🔥😊🔥7 -
Every Monday morning:
I hate this 9-5 life. This kind of time constrains should not be allowed. I will not allow someone else to control my life. *gets ready to make rebel group and protest against government*
10 minutes later:
*sigh* *Opens up Visual Studio*10 -
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?10 -
Today it's Monday. So it's already a shitty day before it starts.
Have a good shitty Monday guys. 👌7 -
Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.
I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.
I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?
After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.
My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.
FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.2 -
Friday - yeaj its friday!
Saturday - *does whatever I want*
Sunday - *mentally prepare for monday*4 -
A Monday morning poem
I enter the bureau, feeling all relaxed and well,
my colleague looks up:
"Abandon all hope, welcome to hell."
This indeed, he doesn't say,
his face only twists a little in dismay:
"I need that schematic, did you finish it yet?
And there also some tests I'd like to get -
how was your week-end by the way?"
I start my computer, don't remember what I say ...
I grab some coffee, half a day is gone,
the PM pressures: "I want that asap done!"
I am cluttered in tasks and bullshit, too:
"Go fuck you right now - yes, I meant you!"
I don't say what I like to, I mentally punch a wall,
I crank some more code out and git-commit it all.
Some devRant on the lunch-break, some shallow talk,
I leave the building and take a short walk.
My mind rotates, I cannot enjoy the scenery now,
I return to my desk, and figure out what to handle and how.
But my plans are crashed by a colleague dashing in:
"I need you to do a test setup! I need to begin -"
I do the setup, I do some other stuff,
At the end of the day I feel totally rough,
Work is piling up even more -
"Tomorrow", I think and close the door.
At home, I just flop on on my bed -
I should be learning instead ... -
with some pizza and chill.
I think about sleeping, I hope that I will.
...
It is now Friday,
my brain is fried, too.
I am finished with this poem - how about you? :)7 -
Delivered project this monday and gave the client one week where he can request changes free of charge. Changes made since monday: 43. This will be the last time I provide this service5
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The client said meeting was Monday at 9:30AM. My fault was forgetting to ask what Monday of the year it was. It's already past 11AM and still no sign of them. smh7
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When you start work on Monday and need half a day to remember what you actually did on Friday.
Someone knows this too ?
3 -
Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.
Me: *works furiously*
Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?3 -
Me: Right, its Monday, time for a fresh start. Things have been unbearable, but i've nowhere else to go just yet. I gotta just dig deep, ignore everything bad and just get it done, It's all about positivity right? Lets just ignore the little things and keep moving.
*My morning so far, 2 hours in*
Remote dev: (timezone 5 hours earlier than me) Hey so whats the plan for this quarter?
Me: ... I posted a big detailed plan in the group chat on Friday night so you wouldn't be delayed ... but anyway, lets just move on. I need you to work on A, B and C. A is just copying what Android has already done, for B one of the backend guys working next to you is doing this, he'll be able to help you. C is all documented in the ticket.
Remote dev: cool thanks.
Local dev: So I was just chatting with remote dev ... yeah he told me he has no idea what he's suppose to do.
Me: ..... Ok i'll book a video call with him in the morning. Can't do it right now.
==========
Remote dev: Hey i'm helping the BE team do some testing. I found a bug in Android. Homepage says theres no trips. But Offers screen says there is.
Me: Ok so just to confirm, The "available" offers screen has offers to accept, but the white notification on the homepage saying "You have X offers to accept" is not showing up?
Remote dev: Correct!
*debugging for 5 mins*
Remote dev: actually no, the "accepted" offers tab has offers, but the homepage says there are no upcoming offers to work on.
Me: ..... ok, thats very different ... but sure, let me have a look.
Me: Right so the BE are ... again ... sending down expired offers. Looks like the accepted tab isn't catching it and the homepage is.
Remote dev: Right i'll open a ticket for Android.
Me: ... and BE team.
Remote dev: why?
Me: ... because they once again have timezone issues. This keeps causing issues in random places. BE need to fix this everywhere.
Remote dev: right, i'll chat to them and see if they can fix it.
==========
Product: So this ticket xxxxx is clear right?
Me: eh, kind of, so you want us to add feature X to user type A?
Product: correct.
Me: right but I don't see anywhere talking about the time it will take to build the screen for feature X
Product: What do you mean the screen?
Me: ... well, feature X is only accessible on screen Y ... we would have to change screen Y to support user type A ... you know ... so they can ... use the feature
Product: .... hhhhmmm .... i suppose you are right. Well we can't just add screen Y, we'll have to add W and Z, it won't make sense without them.
Me: ... ok sure, but our estimates put us over for this quarter. I don't think we can just add in 3 screens.
Product: No this is a must have.
Me: Ok so we'll have to drop something else.
Product: hhhmmm, don't think we can ... let me get back to you.
==========
Backend team invited me to a meeting at 6am my time on Friday.
==========
... 2 hours into Monday ... there must be vodka around here somewhere -
Boss: do you remember the other team? we need to fix one of their bugs
Me: amm, okey np
Boss: do it when you have time, but don’t forget to finish your things first.. and we need that fix by the end of the day.
Me: //what a beautiful monday <3 -
That moment when you had a good weekend and it is Monday again.
You log in to your work PC and see 15 emails... There goes my Monday again.
And 12 of those turn out to be congratulations on the recent release 😥3 -
Friday 4:59pm
PM: hey, we need to add this new feature to the project.
Me: no problem, I'll take a look on Monday.
Monday 8:01am
PM: how's that new task coming along?
Me: 😩4 -
Tomorrow is monday...
Monday...
That fucking shit day which cause feelings like being lost forever...7 -
When your week has been so busy and exhausting you remember at 1PM Friday you have a deadline for Monday morning and force yourself to do a weeks worth of work in 4 hours and deploy it on a Friday without QA testing!
To future me - I apologise for Monday’s headaches. -
To all of you that is saying Friday release is horrible, you have no idea how bad Monday release is :(2
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I NEED MY SLEEP FFS!!! It is 06:20 in the morning and I am already on the train to work because one of our managers felt the need to plan a meeting from 08:00 on monday morning to explain EXACTLY why something does not work.
Needless to say that she is no dev (or has technical know how)!
But the best part is:
THE INVITATION FOR THE MEETING WAS SEND OUT FRIDAY EVENING SO THERE IS NO PREPARATION-TIME WHATSOEVER!!!
Fuck5 -
Happy @Sunday,
May you enjoy the last few hours of stressless paradise before our evil lord @Monday appears!8 -
When your work laptop decides it wants to take 45 minutes to update Monday morning...
(I'm looking at you MacOs...)
10 -
So we decided to use Monday evenings as a development night for our game, we are currently down the pub enjoying the sun. Maybe next Monday1
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That moment when it's Sunday and you cannot wait for the new Weekly Rant theme to be announced on Monday.
-
Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi
Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!2 -
What are you all planning on getting on Black Friday/Cyber Monday? I've pinched pennies all year and saved up just enough to only be able to afford 35% or so of the cost of being beaten in a local dark alley. That's not even what I wanted, but still.16
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I feel like I have started to grasp the very essence of software development
For 2 weeks now, I have either slept 3-1.30 hours per night or not at all
And I can't drink coffee without spending 2 hours in toilet after each cup
FUCK😣 -
Monday morning. Return to Office after weeks of half sick work from home. Unsolvable problems awaiting you. Getting up early again. The crowded subway. The rain. And then suddenly you think that you have been working for more years then you have been in high school and university together. Time is a bitch.1
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It's Don't-Kill-Your-Coworkers Monday! Vent here while looking at this cute-ass picture instead of ending lives.
6 -
What a horrible monday today was. Fuck-all worked. Missed deadline. Not much sleep. Heart is racing.
But hey, the horoscope in the daily toiletpaper press knows it all better, as usual, 100% IQ:
💫"You have finally found your center. Your body and soul are feeling great and your're in tune with yourself. You are enjoying it and would love to share your experiences with your loved one."💫
Where is my rocket launcher??? I have to kill a newspaper.6 -
now that monday is almost over for me, here's a couple of questions:
1) From 0-10, how good was it for you?
2) Had you read it, would you say my post wishing you a passable monday worked?19 -
Somebody just asked me: "so what's the plan for Monday?"
Me: What's Monday?
...After waiting for a reply for a while, I check the calendar... IT'S MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!! -
This is so far my worst Monday.
Ran to Emergency (A&E) because I was having breathing problems. Came back to work with Inhaler.
Work started with type casting and linker errors.
I hope the day ends well :( -
Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!
(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)
1 -
I'm working on my tickets for Monday on a Saturday so that I can finish my tickets for Tuesday on Monday....
I need a hobby.2 -
Came to work this morning with a bunch of cards coloured red, marked "urgent"...
And it's Monday... the day after Sunday...
The blues day...
Blue's my favourite colour, but this blue (and reds) I do not like...
Ok snoozy mind of mine... wake up!!1 -
I had so much fun working on my side projects this weekend that now I'm sad to spend next 5 days on client projects.3
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Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.3 -
So today I accidentally updated more than 3000 records in a table and wasn’t using transactions so I couldn’t Rollback, LOL had the whole team freak out this Monday morning and we had to pull a backup6
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Monday. Missed my two alarms. Woke up on time anyways. Got to the office early to be on time. Now i am waiting all my colleagues.. idk if today everyone took a day off or i am being pranked 🤔 #hatemondays2
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Reach office early and you know what stack over flow is down god save me it's 15 minutes already some one please up it.
Bad start for monday.
1 -
Holy shit what a Monday of a Monday! I ain’t trying to stay late I got other shit to do! If new and unusual errors can wait til tomorrow to pop up that’d be greaaaaaaattttt!
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Couple of the senior devs were reviewing some legacy service code, vilifying everything that was done. Too many files, not enough files, too many lines of code, etc. Standard Monday-Morning-Quarterback nonsense. Then they came across Thread.Sleep() in various exception handlers. The passive-aggressive -bleep- hit the fan. 'Idiot', 'Moron', "People don't know how to code..", etc. dog-pile rants for a good 5 minutes.
I thought "Code is only a couple of years old and had very little changes..I'll bet the original developer is still here."
So I look at the change history and sure enough the original developer was one of the dog-pilers, and the other dev changed the code just last year. Comments like "Major refactoring", "Increased Performance", etc and the changes were only removing comment blocks, and other stylecop suggestions. Oh...there was one change was Thread.Sleep(6000) to Thread.Sleep(1000). I guess that did technically "increase performance"
Would I get fired if I said "Shut the -bleep- up you -bleep-ing -bleep- heads" ? Hmm...probably. Better keep my opinions on devrant. -
Last Thursday, project owner insisted that the module I was working on to be ready for testing this Monday(though the supposed deadline is next week).
Went to work on a day off to deliver it as requested. Monday came. Monday went. No testing started. Project owner was on leave.
Now he's asking if we can start with the testing.
Hope I have laser beam eyes so I can toast him. -_-2 -
"This MONDAY, you can have a day to yourself." (as the university is hosting something all day long)
> Finally can start this. Yayy!
(THE Gang of Four)
3 -
Opinion: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are much worse than Mondays.
You can prepare yourself for a Monday. But nothing prepares you for a Tuesday. Tuesdays are just gloom and despair4 -
It's only Monday. Why do i feel so tired. T_T
Today's work:
- 3hrs check point meeting on Project A
- quick API fix, testing and dev assistance on Project A
- prelive deployment of Module B
- code review and enhancements for Script C
- prelive deployment and testing for Script C4 -
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
Ordered a slightly watered down version of my planned PC. Let's wait for Cyber Monday for buyer's remorse!
Either way, paid half price of the planned rig for 80% of the same performance.
See attached specs. Already have a hard drive and PSU, and for now will be reusing my GTS 250.
8 -
Friday afternoon 5:00pm: everything works wonderfully fine, let's go home!!
Monday morning 9:30am: Let's do some more test on the latest code I have wr.... KABOOOOM!!! -
Today was a real Monday (I know it's Wednesday, let me explain).
Nothing worked. Not for me and not for my coworker. Across all tasks that we did today. It was very frustrating and a lot of swearing was involved.
Every week has to have a Monday I guess. Let's hope tomorrow gets better.1 -
Monday Motivation for Web Developers.
document.getElementsByTagName('html')[0].style.display = "none"; -
So I rush to job just to find a power outage on the building , don't know if I should be happy to have "nothing" to do or be sad cause I have a lot to do but can't 😓
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Monday morning,
I grab a cup of coffee, and move to my desk happily,
With a smile on my face and with the excitement to have a productive day,
I open my laptop to check my mails.
"3 Escalation mails + 1 mail that proves i'm stupid, with the entire team in CC."
:'(2 -
Starting the Monday with a good old heap corruption in a c# project that uses only managed code.
Occurs on 2/3 PCs.
Today is going to productive :/ -
Monday morning, everyone yelling at other. Stuff could have been done ages ago, but wasn't. Why? Because everything must be escalated beyond the maximum before anyone turns a finger.
-
Today was a real monday... Untill the lunch break nothing worked even the slightest bit, there was a lot of swearing in the office, afterwards it got better but still wasn't very productive.
So, how was your day?7 -
//Happy Monday!
if (DateTime.Today.Contains(school))
{
athlon.Location = new Point(school_X, school_Y);
studyUselessThings = true;
}
else
{
code = true;
}2 -
When Monday comes round and all you can think about traveling to work is the giant pull request you were asked to review on Friday 🙈
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I have gotten to the point that I need to remember with exact details how my weekend went. It's become a common Monday question.
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Start my Monday by trying to decipher non-tech people's "bug" reports whee they submit a small portion of a web page where some problem occurs, when I asked them to include the ENTIRE browser window including the URL of the page they're on.
Business Analyst says most of the forms aren't working, because they're not creating leads in the CRM system. I made a column in the form list where I explicitly mention the form submission destination, such as email, CRM, newsletter, or some combo of these. Forms work, she just can't read.
Just can't win.3 -
You know your life is fucking with you, when you need to start your college project from square-fucking-one again, for the forth time & looking through devRant isn't improving your mood. 😐2
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Monday morning meetings:
- Reminding designers what the app looks like to then discuss a defect.
- Reminding everyone else where the online meeting link is, despite the fact we have used it everyday, for the past 7 weeks. -
Monday morning
Get to work
Open email
Ci went crazy
Slack is on fire
Some npm modules deprecated approach
Rewrite docker files
Some other npm modules disappeared.
I hate you web technologies, I hate you developers who make releases Friday night.
I hate everything.
Ffs on the weekend just build Ikea fornitures instead of fiddling with my stack!
Sigh.2 -
Fucking Comodo certificate authority expired on saturday....guess who is enjoying monday morning. Fuck!
-
Monday morning.
That uneasy feeling on your stomach when you feel upset about Monday morning.
Is there a word to explain this?5 -
it's monday morning. ofc the first thing i do is open devrant to see what hell monday is brining on others.
-
Wrapping up at the end of the day, telling my colleague we can pick the rest of the task when we return on Monday..........only to find out we ARE Monday
Not sure where I hit my head today, but holy shit it sucks.
T-4 I guess -
Ever get the feeling of enthusiasm on a Monday when you decide you are going to finish the project way before time but then you sit it in front of your IDE and you just want to cry and sleep.
I am going through that right now. -
TFW you realize it's Monday, and you forgot the where clause in your SQL Statement
(22 row(s) affected)2 -
Oh Monday how I loath you.
Why can you not allow anything to go according to plan?
Why do things that worked on Friday no longer work on Monday?
Oh Monday ... -
so what is worse than monday morning?
It's finding the right angle for your macbook pro screen because the office changed the fucking lights and they reflect more than ever.
AND THEY ARE BRIGHT AS HELL. MY EYES BURN!3 -
Monday morning brain funk while looking at a support case right now.
Apparently there is a listbox (zkoss) that lets you select users via check box to send emails/alerts whatever.
If you select 3 users it counts the number correctly, but it doesn't iterate through and find the 3 actually selected 😂
Instead it just reads the number selected and iterates through that many times from 0 🤔
Happy Monday 😂😂😂1 -
Worked some OT this weekend to get a project over the finish line. Got all my tests passing once again. Ready for a PR, but I had a few questions about some missing members I was expecting to initialize on my results.
"Oh you you just need to update the PublishedLanguage package."
"Yeah. I'm on the latest version: <package.service.name * 0.1.7-alpha.4>"
"Oh, that one is rubbish and should have been removed last week. you want <package.service.stupidfuckingdifferentname * 0.3.0-alpha.9>"
godfuckingdammit. of course, every class is completely different now. i literally get to re-do my sunday. on a fucking monday. -
Q: You know it's Monday when...
A: (typing)... (buffer overflow)
Because you had a bad.. *Segfault*.
Well fyck, spilled me coffee now tho.. -
!dev
I hate $ .99.... spent all morning trying to figure out how to get free shipping.
Tried looking for a filler item but nothing good. Then looked at some funko-pop figures but not that interested... and still cost $10
Finally just went asked them to waive it... but still... that took almost an hour...
And now back to regularly scheduled programming... with 1hr less sleep....oh n it's a Monday...
-
Nothing like starting your Monday morning with a call from your senior developer saying that the merge went horribly.
-
Monday is forever monday...
Even if we try to forget tha day it is...
Monday is always monday...
Sob sob... -
--- Before Monday morning
Relaxation level: 999
--- Monday morning
The joy to come back from small holidays... and being welcomed with "this is broken, this doesn't work, this stopped working" and writing emails the whole morning to providers "please fix dis, and dat, and dis, is broken since months"
Provider: "o sry, we didn't notice :< pliz wait next week until fixed, thnk u"
Relaxation level: NaN -
On friday -
I got a feeling🎶
Tonights gonna be the last night for coding.
Fuck no, its a universal law there will be monday. -
That feeling when you hear: "Goood monday morning, I am MPJ and you are watching Fun Fun Function!" Definitely, I love monday mornings 😄2
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The feeling you get on fixing an issue after breaking your head the entire day and you fix it just in time to leave home... One bug a day 🖖
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"Webpack not working if its Monday"
https://github.com/JeffreyWay/...
I don't see the issue here? Not working on Monday is completely expected behavior, at least for humans. Why shouldn't this apply to software? -
Monday commute, and the infrastructure between my city and Kortrijk was all messed up.
Result, an hour of standing still -
Typical monday... the new funcionality I have to implement on frontend requires additional changes on backend (out of my reach). So I wait. And in the meantime I switch to bugfixing and suddenly some tester changes the data in the scenario (a very specific one) I was working on.
-
You know when it's friday and you want to postpone all the non-programming tasks (meetings, calls...) to the next monday... but then suddently monday arrives...!?
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If I say that I hate mondays, i think most of you bois and girls will share the same feelings.
So, here is my plan, someone with gud leadership skills must start a petition to boycott Mondays, and then we will introduce another Sunday in its place. That way, we'll have 2 Sundays in a week(Sunday is everyone's favourite day). We will have 2 Sundays in a week and no Monday; everyone will be happier. The world will become a better place.
It's time to raise our voice.8 -
good thing about working from home all weekend is that on Monday at work you don't have that shitty feeling "it's fucking Monday".
Plus, you meet some humans after 2 days in the cave2
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