How to become the favourite client among your app devs in two simple steps

1 - raise a support ticket, stating that it really needs to be solved, the sooner the better, but omit any ids/names in the description.
2 - leave for a vacation, without any way to contact you.

..that moment when you stumble over a thrown UnrecoverableBlablaException, but one level up you discover, that it is pretty well recoverable.. a real life "how to make your code less maintainable, rule #489: lie in you type names"

Created a MultivalueMap instance.
Used it as a parameter.
Did not compile.
Tried to google wtf..
No success.
Took closer look and suddenly.. MultivalueMap is not a MultiValueMap!
conclusion: check your spel..camelcasing

Somewhere in out application backend we generate a simple bullet chart. But in the most complicated way possible.
We call a web service to retrieve it(yes, a simple bullet chart). The service requires some parameters, and the code that generates them is hidden behind a wall of interfaces and abstract methods (the best and apparently only way to get to the actual code is to debug it).
However, one of these parameters is very well visible and it is a string with (uncommented)javascript function that manipulates the resulting chart, adding some final touches. With hardcoded values etc..

Dear programmers, I know we should avoid reinventing the wheel, but sometimes we should stop and consider the possibility, that we are using the wrong wheel and in completely wrong/obscure way. Thank you.
Yours WhoeverWillMaintainTheCode

We need to test the last step in our proof-of-concept chain before putting our project proposal... but just before testing what we believe will be (finally) a functioning scenario, the key service we need and have no influence over stopped working. I am pretty sure, it will start working like 5 minutes before I usually leave.. one has to love this waitNRush development.

That moment when you are looking for a solution for a problem, there is the exact problem already on the stackoverflow, but with no answer...
And then the feeling when you somehow solve the problem, post the answer and get an upvote :)

I am now working on some pdf generating, trying to create pdf/a conforming documents and oh boy, what an ugly world that is.. not only there are some nontrivial requirements for the documents, but the only suitable (and expensive) library we could find so far for this is poorly documented, has horrible interface (for a simple programmer who "just wants to create a pdf, man") and even the stackoverflow cannot help with some issues.. fml

So.. I spent some non-trivial time trying to call a soap service via SSL in a java application struggling with SSLHandhakeException. I tried quite a few things with the certificates, none of them worked.. until we found out, that I added the right certificates to the truststore of the WRONG java :-/

Conclusion: when working with java cacert files, run
echo %java_home%
first (you can thank me later).

Typical monday... the new funcionality I have to implement on frontend requires additional changes on backend (out of my reach). So I wait. And in the meantime I switch to bugfixing and suddenly some tester changes the data in the scenario (a very specific one) I was working on.

There is no dedicated test team In the corporate our company outsources developers to.. so whatever the developers don't test themselves (and developers are poor testers for their own product) is then tested on... production? FML.. oh yeah and the quality of the bugreports - that's yet another story..

Having a coffee machine right in your office (and not in the 20m far away kitchen area) is both blessing and curse. Sure, you have the coffee within your reach almost without having to stand up.. but you also get the "benefit" of incessant visits of your colleagues from other offices talking various shit and keeping you from work..

During my studies on the university, while preparing for the linear algebra exam I had a dream where I was a matrix in the Jordan normal form.

Switching to Java after several years of c# experience(new project)... and it feels like lobotomy has been performed on both the language/machine and my part - no var keyword(yet), horrible work with the collections (but thank god we have at least the streams), basic things like Long are actual objects(not a value type), strings must be compared with .equals ... and suddenly even simple tasks take me horrendous amount of time.

It's always great idea to map common keyboard shortcuts to something completely different, such as when IDEA sets the default behaviour of Ctrl+Y to "remove the line under caret". Thanks guys, I love surprises, next time try something with ctrl+c.

Note to my future self: when installing the IDEA again, remember to remap the ctrl+y..

So.. in the AngularJS we had Promises and Deferred objects and in Angular we have RxJS and Observables and Subjects... and I spent last few hours googling for something like "deferred equivalent in angular" with no useful result at all, because, well, "Subject" is not the first damn thing to come to mind when looking for "Deferred" synonyms.. who the hell is making up these names?
It's like "well, since this is a new framework, it should also have completely different(and unrelated) names, so that it does not resemble the old one at all".

While I prefer tabs over spaces for indentation, I usually don't mind using spaces as this is often decided project-wide(or even company-wide) by powers out of my reach and the people also normally decide to intend by the reasonable 4 spaces.
However, now I am working on a project with 2 spaces indentation and oh boy, what a pain it is to write any nested code.. am I really the only one with this problem?

When did Balmers "Developers, developers, developers.." turn into "Security, security, security.." and why the people responsible for the security have so little understanding for the people who actually work in the system..

Multicore means, that it can respond slowly in multiple threads at once!

helping colleagues like a troll:
AAA: anyone know what the blabla_type_id column is for in the trololo table please?
AAA: oh and blabla_order while we're at it :)
BBB: ask AAA .... he always knows these
AAA: :)
ME: I would say the first one is id of blabla type and the second one blabla order, isnt it? :)
AAA: you two should work in support :)

#yourewellcome #allwaysapleasure

How to write crappy code, intermediate level:
Smuggle a hidden OR operator into a longer(300+ chars) logical expression full of ANDs. The best placement is somewhere in the middle. And keep it all in ONE line - at all costs.
#truestory

Writing in javascript/typescript after years spent in c# world: this here, this there, this (and that) this this this..