There are two hard problems in IT

- naming things
- indexing
- Segmentation violation

The term "CPU" is stupid nowadays, what even is "central", when there are entire server farms primarily employing GPUs.

I propose "GPP" - General Purpose Processor - as a much more descriptive name instead.

When you use that piece of infrastructure you build for weeks for the first time and it saves you so much time.

LinkedIn for developers is the exact opposite of Tinder for developers:

Tons of young, attractive women send you messages you ignore.

Calling C a "high level language" is complete bullshit. 99,9% of all code is written in C or higher level languages than C.

What a "high level language" is not objectively definable. So this arbitrary division divides programming languages in two halves of astronomically different sizes.

It may have been a good decision in the 70s but it's completely off nowadays. I propose to draw the line between languages with manual and languages with automatic memory management.

Before the lockdown, we regularly had our client's testers in our office to evaluate the prototypes of potential features.

Some of them would just be left on their own with the software and tell is their experience afterwards. The Application is tested on our machines while the Testers are taking notes on their devices.

So one of the testers suddenly told us she had a "non application-related, general technical problem".

Well it turned out that she selected some text in the application running on our machine, then right-clicking and copied it and then unplugged her USB-Mouse, plugged it in on her Laptop and wondered, why she couldn't paste the text.

Since then, my respect for our UX department grew enormously since we very rarely get complaints.

The guy whos code I refactore atm, ca. 2006

Tabs vs Spaces.

Not because one of them is definitely better than the other, but because it's 2020, we have editorconfig and everybody should just use what he personally prefers.

When valgrind (C Memory allocation error detection tool) aborts due to a memory allocation error...

What really is the supossed advantage of GNU hurd over Linux? I am not at all into it, I just randomly read about it being in development since the 90s and still not being stable. We have Linux as a functioning and open-source OS alreadey. So really, whats the point?

A medical doctor, a lawyer and a programmer debate whether it's best to have a wife or a girlfriend.

"Easy", the lawyer starts, "a girlfriend comes without any legal obligation, you can have a lot of fun together but when you get enough of her, you can just leave her without any trouble"

The physician objects: "That can only come from a man who never truly loved a woman. Your wife is not just someone who you have fun with, she is you bastion of calm, your ever-loyal partner, the completition yourself. Clearly, having a wife is better"

Both now look at the programmer who remained silent throughout the debate.

He cleans his throat and than says: "Both. You need both. You can tell you wife you're with your girlfriend and you can tell your girlfriend you are with your wife. And then, you can finally code in peace.

- Limit the number of attendees to those absolutely required
- If you need a person just for a specific topic, split the meeting into multiple meetings in direct sucession and send the person off after his/her topic is finished
- before making a meeting, make sure it really is required. If the meeting consists of a single person talking 90% of the time, write an E-Mail instead

Not my mom, but my girlfriends grandmother. I told her that I am a software developer, a guy who makes the programs which run on computers.

She became really excited about that, because finally she found someone to repair her 40-year-old radio. I told her that I have no fucking idea about radios, but she did not want to hear that. So I looked at the case, randomly pushed some buttons and again told her, that I could not find the broken part, let alone repair it. But she didn't listen and told me to open the case and look inside.

Sighingly I opened the radio, looked at the inner parts and told her once more, that I don't know anything about this stuff. She told me to look more closely. About to lose my mind about this pointless task, I finally told her, that "the transistor" is the problem and that the best thing she could do is to throw it away and buy a new radio. She was happy with that answer.