Fuck dates and fuck date manipulation. Even when I think I get it right, I don't

team lead: what is the minimum lenght validation on the first name field?
dev: i decided to put minlenhgt 3
team lead: why? did you tests it
Dev: i tested it. 3 makes sense to me
Team lead: isint your first name 2 letters long?
Dev: oh i dodth think about that

cuting edge ux

CEO emailing on a Saturday evening to suggest a "demo" at the end of the sprint. There is a demo at the end of EVERY sprint and always has been. Don't pretend to "work" on Saturday - you are fooling nobody.

Pregnant developer = No coffee = OMG 😱

The headset rule. If put on, project managers, the pope and everyone should stay away the developers. If put on one ear, it is allowed to disturb if it's important. Headset off, party time.

When you're judged by the number of lines you wrote/commits you pushed/any other non relevant stat rather than your code quality

What end users seem like

Urgent email, there's a problem. Fix the problem instantly and email back. No fucking response.

Oh yeah!

You know you're productive when your coffee turns cold before you finish it.