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*Now that's what I call a Hacker*
MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS
This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.
xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
xxx: You're gonna love this
xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.
xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT
The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...56 -
Hi, I am a Javascript apprentice. Can you help me with my project?
- Sure! What do you need?
Oh, it’s very simple, I just want to make a static webpage that shows a clock with the real time.
- Wait, why static? Why not dynamic?
I don’t know, I guess it’ll be easier.
- Well, maybe, but that’s boring, and if that’s boring you are not going to put in time, and if you’re not going to put in time, it’s going to be harder; so it’s better to start with something harder in order to make it easier.
You know that doesn’t make sense right?
- When you learn Javascript you’ll get it.
Okay, so I want to parse this date first to make the clock be universal for all the regions.
- You’re not going to do that by yourself right? You know what they say, don’t repeat yourself!
But it’s just two lines.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel!
Literally, Javascript has a built in library for t...
- One component per file!
I’m lost.
- It happens, and you’ll get lost managing your files as well. You should use Webpack or Browserify for managing your modules.
Doesn’t Javascript include that already?
- Yes, but some people still have previous versions of ECMAScript, so it wouldn’t be compatible.
What’s ECMAScript?
- Javascript
Why is it called ECMAScript then?
- It’s called both ways. Anyways, after you install Webpack to manage your modules, you still need a module and dependency manager, such as bower, or node package manager or yarn.
What does that have to do with my page?
- So you can install AngularJS.
What’s AngularJS?
- A Javascript framework that allows you to do complex stuff easily, such as two way data binding!
Oh, that’s great, so if I modify one sentence on a part of the page, it will automatically refresh the other part of the page which is related to the first one and viceversa?
- Exactly! Except two way data binding is not recommended, since you don’t want child components to edit the parent components of your app.
Then why make two way data binding in the first place?
- It’s backed up by Google. You just don’t get it do you?
I have installed AngularJS now, but it seems I have to redefine something called a... directive?
- AngularJS is old now, you should start using Angular, aka Angular 2.
But it’s the same name... wtf! Only 3 minutes have passed since we started talking, how are they in Angular 2 already?
- You mean 3.
2.
- 3.
4?
- 5.
6?
- Exactly.
Okay, I now know Angular 6.0, and use a component based architecture using only a one way data binding, I have read and started using the Design Patterns already described to solve my problem without reinventing the wheel using libraries such as lodash and D3 for a world map visualization of my clock as well as moment to parse the dates correctly. I also used ECMAScript 6 with Babel to secure backwards compatibility.
- That’s good.
Really?
- Yes, except you didn’t concatenate your html into templates that can be under a super Javascript file which can, then, be concatenated along all your Javascript files and finally be minimized in order to reduce latency. And automate all that process using Gulp while testing every single unit of your code using Jasmine or protractor or just the Angular built in unit tester.
I did.
- But did you use TypeScript?36 -
Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
She: Do dates make you nervous?
He: Oh yes, especially when the client and server are in different timezones and I need to calculate the difference and they are in different formats and I mean why can’t everyone just use ISO8601, right?
She: Okay never mind bye..........8 -
I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."
He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.
He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.
I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.
I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."
I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"
I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.
I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.23 -
My company doesn't allows or uses Wi-Fi. It's too dangerous... Like fucking really. We also don't use a repository. We version stuff by dates folders. Yes we are a ecommerce business.26
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Client: Our meeting is going to be on March 27th at 9am. Clear your schedules and add it to your calendar.
Me: I'm not sure why this wasn't cleared with me, but I'm 3 hours behind you guys and that will be 6am for me. If you want to have a meeting at that time, I'll be sleeping.
Client: We start our days early, so we need you to make yourself available at that time. We have other stuff on our agenda so this is the time it will be taking place.
Me: I will not, repeat will not be available at that time. I have the 29th and 30th available at that time, but any day before that will have to be scheduled at 1pm or later. Mondays however are a no go. We have standing appointments on Mondays that we cannot reschedule.
Client: Monday, April 2nd at 9am is the new time. Please clear that time.
Our Company owner: we just said Mondays are a no go.
Client: we're getting frustrated that you are not being flexible with your schedule. Here is what you are going to do. Give us a calendar with every day and time you have available and we'll tell you what works.
Owner: We just gave you a bunch of dates. We're the ones trying to be flexible while you've been dictating what time's we've been available. That's not how this works. Mondays aren't happening. The 27th isn't happening because I'm not going to expect my developer to get up at 6am because it's convenient for you. This is a not a one way street. Let us know when you're ready to find a date and time that works for all of us.
----
This is the same guy I argue with on a daily basis and tell to fuck off when he's being a douche, but when it matters, he's pretty badass dude.8 -
Why do some sites have the current year for birth dates? Is the person fresh out the womb registering for Facebook?
8 -
Yesterday I used a company service account to email over 1,000 internal employees (mostly application managers and the like) about an old OS version their servers are using which must be upgraded in a few months. It's an automated email that will repeat each month until the servers are upgraded.
That is not the part that might get me fired.
The part that might get me fired is an easter egg I left in the html content of the email itself.
In the embedded html of the message, I buried a comment block that contains a full-screen ascii-art drawing of a spooky tree and grim reaper standing beside a tombstone. The tombstone has the OS info and dates on it. Beneath the ascii-art is a bastardized quote in homage to Metallica's "For Whom The Bell Tolls", referring to the OS end-of-life.
The ascii-art is visible in both the html and the internal git repo that contains the email template.
This is a bit of a shoe-horn for this weekly group rant, as I doubt there is any chance I would really be fired over this, as I (sadly) expect that absolutely NO ONE who receives the messages will ever actually see the comments. But it's out there in the corporate network now... and will be sent over and over for the next few months...
There is a better chance someone may catch the easter egg in the git repo, but I kind-of doubt that, too - so I wanted to at least share with my devRant friends that it's out there, so at least someone else knows than just me. 😝6 -
People complaining "oh I always have trouble figuring out if the clock goes forwards or backwards in October"
Bitch please, I'm dealing with 12 databases, with SQL dates as local timezone timestamps, and an influxDB in UTC. I'm dealing with a backend server configured in CEST and a middleware layer configured in Pacific time, and a hundred functions which try to keep everything straight because no one dares to migrate it all to UTC at this point.
In the whole argument about DST you hear about sleep psychology, electricity bills and farmers.
But what about me, the poor database administrator? What about all these ugly legacy systems, what about all the UX designers trying to fix time input pickers?
I spend 2 months a year in agony having nightmares of rips and folds in the flow of time. DAYLIGHT SAVING DOESN'T FUCKING MAKE SENSE HOW CAN TIME EXIST TWICE?17 -
So the remote manager who won't reply to my emails or slacks, won't invite me to meetings with product / design, won't ask for my opinion on deadline dates and won't tell me whats being said in meetings (despite repeated effort on my part to change this);
Has decided to send an angry email, cc'ing a bunch of people, about "constant deadline slippage" and poor planning on our part focusing on features that should have been de-prioritised.
ahem
*clears throat for maximum yelling rant-ability*
<rant>
I HAVE BEEN EMAILING YOU FOR FUCKING WEEKS ASKING TO TALK ABOUT THE DEADLINES YOU FUCKING COLOSSAL ASS CLOWN.
I'VE BEEN REPEATEDLY TOLD THAT THESE FEATURES ARE A MUST HAVE AFTER ASKING TO DE-PRIORITISE THEM, AND HAVE TOLD YOU THE DATES ARE NOT FEASIBLE.
ONE MORE, ONE MORE EMAIL OR BAD COMMENT AND I'M EXPENSING A TRIP OVER THERE, TO KICK YOU SQUARE IN THE NUTS AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'LL HAPPILY BREAK MY FOOT OFF IF NECESSARY, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.
</rant>
... the above is work appropriate to email back to him and all the higher ups right?12 -
So, basically i am getting desperate, and i'm also angry... and want to cry, and i feel a failure.
My biggest error in this story is "believing"
First of all, I'm a starting entrepreneur as freelancer, started of 6 months ago, back then it all seemed bright, i had my first customer, they believed me, got a second assignment for that same customer, fulfilled the task in brilliance, and was ready to move on to a bigger customer base. Here's where shit goes wrong.
Working with another office that outsources people to various (goverment) contractors, Had a meeting with them, we would cooperate very soon. This was january.
PM: "We've got a gov Dept as a customer that wants to do project XYZ and starting in february, requirements are yadiyadiyadi, you up for it?
Me:"Sure, send me the specs, and timeframe and i'll apply with my offer)"
Project is about a bit backup system migration, lots of fancy shmancy tech used, 2 datacenters setup... a big project that can take up several months...
- sends offer- received an acceptance on the offer
PM " Great, we'll start end of february"
Me: "Ok, end of february is a go then, looking forward to cooperate"
FF to near end of february, receive msg from PM: "Project XYZ delayed until half if march"
Me: "Okay... what is the delay?"
PM:"Govt bureaucracy"
Me " Ok, let's keep in touch"
Near Half of March
PM " Project delayed again".
Me: " Okay... what's the reason?"
PM: "they have decided to take a different approach, and want 3 datacenters now"
Me: "That will change the offer i made for you, can you send me the specs?"
PM: "No, because they havent decided on the techs used, expect end of march"
Me: "Okay...but once you got the specs,s end them to me"
End of March
Pm: " Hy NeatNerdPrime, we still havent got any specs yet... they still forgot to make the shopping list"
Me: "(-_-) ... I thought they already had that covered"
PM:" No, new Govt budget cuts and lots of changes, basically, they still don't know what they really want. But we're just -delayed- , not -cancelled-"
Me: "Okay... i hope we get started soon"
PM: "expect launch beginning of april"
I was not really satisfied with this explanation.... but ok
Beginning of april, at april's folls day
PM "Project delayed again"
Me: " This is a joke right?"
PM: "Sadly, no, they delayed the project since they don't really know what they actually want, we are trying to give them the proposed solution... but they still need approval, and still need to set up shopping list"
Me:"when do we start then?"
PM: " I was told 17th of april'
Me:" I really hope it gets through, i had to decline some proposals for work for months due to this, this ain't funny"
PM: "I know, i'll make up for it"
15th of april...
PM " Project delayed again"
Me right now almost losing my shit
"why this time??? I thought you said 17th of april real launch!"
PM: "they fired their PM, need to hire a new one, delayed until May/June"
Me: "I've set aside some other assignments just because you said you were going to launch at those dates... This is really pushing my limits, can you give me SOME assurances?"
PM: "5th of june would be official go" Me: " Okay, i'm noting 5th of june in my agenda, let's get this through!"
And now i get a message...stating that the date of 5th of june , is for another project, at the same goct dept, but totally different project
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT I'VE SPENT MONTHS WAITING FOR A PROJECT THAT WAS PRACTICALLY ALL SET AND GO AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED, EVERY FUCKING TIME I THINK "you know, i cannot accept these offers since that Govt project will start soon, i cannot do 2 assignments at once especially when they require me to work at govt office at the capital..." AND EVERY FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED!!!
I feel at a loss now..... i've done i think the most horrible thing you can do as a independent and that's not accepting another assignment just because there was a concrete promise for a govt contract...
Almost dried up, nothing much left, had to do some spending because of a move to another apartment... I'm feeling really down, and angry...and down, but mostly angry, for not accepting those offers in the meantime...13 -
My biggest pet peeve at the moment is people without any development experience using version numbers.
Me: "Communicating a release date for the feature towards clients is dangerous, we have a developer shortage, and currently don't really have enough capacity to..."
Manager: "What we release next month doesn't have to be perfect, it is just a v1"
Me: "You mean it's a beta? If that's the case, could you maybe differentiate the requirements of the beta, let's call it a 0.1.0, versus the 1.0.0-rc, the release candidate?"
*Feature is eventually merged into production, barely in a beta state*
Manager: "So I have some ideas for the v2"
Me: "You mean 1.0.0"
Manager: "Let's compromise and call it v1.5"
Me: "Let's compromise, you stop communicating release dates, AND you stop using version numbers..."
Manager: "That's not a compromise..."
Me: "...I wasn't finished... And I won't respond to the recruiter who just offered me a better paying job"5 -
Imagine a database table where dates were saved as strings from raw user input. Then do migration to other database with table where dates are datetime.
Yep. That's me. 😶
I hate humans. 😧🔫
Especially those who try to be original like:
11|Sept.|2016 or 13;Juni;17
There are rules in this world, damn. 😥9 -
Another episode in the search of a job and it involves recruiters again
Last week tuesday:
> d69: 'Hi this is derpina69 from someFancyShmancyCompany, we got a position for you that might be interesting for you, here is the job description, would you be willing to meet us?'
> Me: 'Well it seems interesting enough, how about we set up a videocall meeting since this is a informative meeting, once ypur end customer is interested in my profile, i am willing to come over'
> d69: 'sure, i'll get back to you to alert attendees for this meeting, i'll get right on it'
Days go by without any word nor even an ical...
Two days ago:
> me: ' hello, pinging you again for a sitrep on the meeting, would like to hear from you and your attendees, wkr: neatnerdprime'
Nothing, until today.
> d69: 'hi sorry for the late reply, we really would like you to come ovzr because we don't like videocalls, are you available on these dates?'
MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACED CALF, YOU REALLY NEEDED TO HAVE MORE THEN A WEEK TO FIGURE THAT OUT, GODDAMN EVEN A TODDLER CAN BE QUICKER IN A RESPONSE ON WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE!
> me: ' sure, lets pick this date, hope you hace coffee ready'
> d69: 'we don't serve coffee for first meetings'
Mfw.webm
What the actual fuck!?!?
You're going to be classified down to my shit tier opportunities, and you better buy some goddamn coffee. All-dieties-be-damned!15 -
We called it "Project Hindenburg".
A huge planning and logistics app with hundreds of screens and dozens of interwoven subfunctions, suddenly needed to be able to support multiple time zones. Our project was to retrofit every area that touched on dates or times, to allow the user to specify, and work in, any time zone.
At this point in the story I can tell whether you have had to work with time zones in code. People who haven't are butting in with something that begins, "that should be fairly simple, you just need to..." followed by some irrelevant noise that betrays their ignorance.
People who have worked with time zones are nodding in shared pain, like fellow attendees of a survivors meeting.
You see, programmers tend to think of time zones as arithmetic; in reality, they are confusing, ambiguous, chaotic, and individual. You can't translate everything into a central time zone (eg UTC) because you lose the user's intent. For example, if you schedule a meeting for 3pm and then move it to the next day, you want it at 3pm even if the clocks have changed.
Project Hindenburg ended up using the entire development staff of the company for well over a year. It smashed our release projections to rubble, made an already tangled code base completely unmaintainable, introduced mind-bending edge case bugs that reduced staff across the company to tears (literally), and led to most of the mid-level and senior developers eventually quitting (including me).
I am @fuckfuckityfuck, and that was the story of Project Hindenburg.11 -
Subject: FW: Twilio integration
Date: 20th June
From: <program-lead>
PractiseSafeHex I need you to fill in the dev completion dates for the Twilio task for the mobile team by EOD today. Backend have already supplied theres. Otherwise I will be forced to mark the task as “At Risk”. Please let me know if there is an issue or you are blocked.
—- Begin Forwarded Mail ——
Subject: Twilio integration
Date: 18th June
From: <program-lead>
Hi All,
Documenting today’s meeting minutes. Backend confirmed they will handle the Twilio integration from their side entirely. There will be no mobile work required for this task.
Thank you,
<program-lead>11 -
Senior manager calls me at 3pm today. I’ve known about this issue since last Friday, one of her pions told me to hold off until Thursday when he’s back in the office and that I could prioritise other tasks.
I have another task with a deadline of the 21st with the potential for fines if it’s not done.
Snr manager: “I’m calling to see how this is going”
Me: “cool, it’s not, bigger problems in the world”
Snr manager: “waah, this has to be done Monday or we face the potential of a court case, fines, this is the biggest problem in the world”
Me: “I’ve known about this issue for a week, have been told not to worry too much and nobody has mentioned the impact or timeline you’ve just given me.”
Snr manager: “so can it be done for monday”
Me: “no chance”
Snr manager: “why not?”
Me: “because it’s 3pm Friday and I have 1 hour of Work left, good luck”
My manager was in the room, he got an arsey call soon after. I don’t really care how that one went but he’s a good guy so I’m sure it was fine.
I also had the joy of asking: so give me an idea of the potential fine... to which they wouldn’t give me an answer.
I need this to weigh up which of the potentially finable tasks takes priority.
The other team that had trouble told me all the dates, gave me over a months notice and the scale of the problem.
If you want someone to help: be polite, give them as much warning as you have and be absolutely honest.
The job’s done cause I’m a fucking legend. But they’re not gonna find out until 5pm Monday. That’s the dickhead tax, they get the dickhead tax for being dickheads.
I’m gonna spend Monday working from home, incommunicado. Fuck incompetent arseholes.
Enjoy your weekend everyone, I know I will mine.13 -
Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.
Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.2 -
Windows obviously did a secret selective poll on what percentage of their users use dates and times.
:#
16 -
I think I've finally realized something:
my boss does not actually listen to me.
Quite often during out weekly conference calls, he asks me questions about things I had just covered. I always assumed he couldn't hear because a) i'm rather quiet, and b) freeconferencecall.com bloody sucks.
But it happens for written things, too. I type an update on something in Slack, and an hour later he asks me for an update on it. I always assumed (likely correctly) that he has nearly zero reading comprehension. He writes like a 5th grader and only remembers a few nouns and one verb from anything he reads. But I swear he actively skips reading anything I write.
Now, however, I have frigign' proof that he ignores me. We have both been trying to get ahold of {Clover contractor} via email for months. We have gotten three replies, but twice scheduling prevented setting up a meeting, and once I simply missed the email amongst the flood of log spam I haven't been allowed to address.
I have asked the boss multiple times for the guy's phone number -- in emails, in Slack, and in front of everyone during our weekly conference calls -- and he has totally ignored me every. single. time.
Here's a transcript of my seventh(!) attempt:
Boss [2:13 PM]
Have you and {Clover contractor} met yet? If not make it happen. Stop letting it not happen. GIve specific dates and times. {Clover contractor} let's talk Tuesday 2pm or Wednesday 4pm which works better for you.
Root [2:14 PM]
For the seventh and last time, give me his phone number.
Getting ahold of him via email has not worked.
Boss [2:14 PM]
I am sendning one more, from that I want you to make the meeting happen asap.
Root [2:14 PM]
if i call him, setting up a meeting will be _easy_
Give me his phone number and I will handle this.
It is now 3:00pm and I haven't gotten a response.
Either he doesn't want it to happen, wants me to fail for some reason, or he's totally fucking oblivious. Yet ofc it's me who earns all of the blame when this meeting doesn't happen, and I'm likely to get yelled at in front of everyone, fucking again.
I'm really beginning to hate this guy.
I can't wait to walk out on him and watch the company come crashing down in my absence. It'll be sad to watch, but bloody hell does he deserve it for his arrogant incompetence.14 -
Ok, rant incoming.
Dates. Frigging dates. Apparently we as a species are so bloody incompetent we cannot even decide on a one format for how to write today. No, instead we have one for every language and framework, because every moron thinks they know better how to write the date. All of them equivalent and all of them different enough to make me start lactating out of frustration trying to parse this garbage... And when you finally manage to parse it on one platform it turns out that your ORM just decided to use the less common version of the date, and have fun converting one to the other. I hope that ever time someone comes up with a new date format will be hit in a face with a red hot frying pan untill they give up programming in favour of growing cactuses.12 -
Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!5
-
YOU CAN'T JUST SWAP THESE DATES AROUND WITHOUT TELLING US AND EXPECT IT TO BE FINE, YOU USELESS FUCKING SKIDMARK!
... ahem ... sorry about that, just needed to vent ... as you were1 -
Look babe, i love you. I really do, and i will make time for you, and have dinner dates & go to movies, and beaches, but please just let me finish my f*$&ken code!!5
-
"Hi xxx, please stop asking me the same question. I've answered it 4 times already via email, slack and in person on our zoom calls, over the past 2 weeks. I do not own the ticket and have no idea of the status or the dates. Ask the owner."
- slack response I was forced to write this morning to the guy my company put in charge of the entire product (mobile, multiple backends, frontend etc.).7 -
I hate my job. I am furious at my colleagues.
Last November I asked my colleagues (A and B) to help me learn to use something, let's call it Tool. They said okay and set a date for training. Next week they said that they had too much work to do so we'll have to postpone. And the next date was also postponed and the next one too, and so on.
Three months in, colleague C kept dicking around and being a complete jackass telling me that he refused to work with me for I don't use the Tool.
Not like I didn't want to learn to use the Tool, I simply couldn't. I have long before googled how to use the Tool but in no way can Google ever tell me about our own company workflow, our methods, habits and such.
I was furious, but I am also a the most fucking patient person ever so I let it slide. The Tool wasn't actually needed that much to do my job anyways. And I have known for a while that colleague C needed to push someone under him to feel good about himself.
A few more dates had been set but got cancelled for reasons.
Meanwhile both A and B started to look down on me for not knowing how to use the Tool. I started to feel depressed.
Today B held a "workshop" about the Tool. It took two hours. He was not prepared, had a hangover and generally had a hard time concentrating.
He used aliases that he set up only for himself to show the usage of the Tool instead of commands that a beginner would understand (or google). He kept mumbling and I hsd trouble understanding him. His lecture lacked direction and was all over the place.
I am devastated and furious. I had been waiting since November for this training and when the time actually came he pulled something out of his ass and called it a workshop.
I didn't even get answers for my questions.
Now I feel that I am actually in a worse position than before because while I still cannot use the Tool, they can tell me that there was a workshop and I should've paid closer attention.
I want to quit so bad.23 -
Admin work, because its all manual:
- Each new project has to fill out an Excel tab in a workbook, with a list of all the major tasks and who is responsible. This then needs to be used to create a Gantt chart, manually, in the same tab, showing in what month a task starts and ends.
- Every month we have to manually enter status updates into a powerpoint slide on a shared deck. Which has a collision at least once per month.
- Once a quarter we need to do something similar as the powerpoint slides, but into a word doc instead.
- Once a week we need to track our time on projects in a tool that can't be integrated with (no API or anything). Meaning we can't link up a ticket tracking system to it, so again, all manual.
- Once every 6 months a new round of research funding opens up and we write proposals. The status for which are tracked in another Excel spreadsheet, manually, once a week until the deadline.
- The instructions for what to do with the proposals are so vague and badly documented that there is an unwritten rule, that for the first time you will have to ask a bunch of questions to the project manager. This is accepted by everyone and its just the done thing.
- Everything is stored in a dropbox style system, which has become so cluttered I can only find resources by saving the links sent out previously.
- Some of these updates / reports also get a 1 hour meeting for everyone to stand up and read out what they've entered.
- From time to time random things will need to be reported on to the higher ups (how many publications, research papers, patents, times and dates etc.). Again rather than a tool, a new Excel spreadsheet is whipped up and emailed to everyone on the team. Whoever sent it out, then has to merge the 20+ copies into 1 doc.
- Some of the staff (mostly the devs), use a ticket tracking system to keep track of everything. Management refuse to use it to track the things they need. Instead we have to copy paste from it into the word docs, powerpoint, excel etc.
- By far the most annoying. Management force all the above as they need the info for finance, accounting, legal etc etc. So we have to do it, but whenever there is a question from legal, management send the question to us. So despite having documented every facet of everything imaginable, it all gets ignored in favour of endless emails.
I once tried to to put an end to all of this madness by proposing the use of a ticket tracking system, and then building reporting tools on top of it.
... I was told that it "wasn't appropriate". Still don't know what that means.9 -
Girl I used to like has ignored my messages for a month. Now she's asking me to fix a shitty WordPress for her.
9 -
She: What's your idea about perfect date ?
Me: I'll recommend mm/dd/yyyy.. others are really confusing
.
.
***Blocked***20 -
Today I wrote a Neural Network in python for the first time, that could identify between strings, numbers and dates. Although the feat may look small it's a very proud moment for myself8
-
So this fucktard decided to write the most inefficient way to collect thousands of records.
The system I am working on allows users to book facilities. There is one feature where an admin can generate reports on the bookings made between any two dates. A report for bookings made between January and April generates 7878 records.
So this shithead, after making a call to the server and receiving 7878 records decides to put it through 4 fucking foreach loops (this takes around 44.94 seconds).
After doing that, he passes it to the controller to go through ANOTHER foreach loop to convert those records into a JSON string, using..string..manipulation. (this takes bloody 1 minute and 30 seconds).
Now, my dear, dear supervisor is asking me to fix this saying that there must be a typo somewhere. Typo my arse. This system has been up for more than a year. What have they been doing all this time??? Bloody hell. Fucking idiots everywhere. I now have to refactor
..fucking refactor.2 -
I fucking hate it when developers don’t respect user locale. My phone language is UK English, my Discord app language is UK English and my region is UK.
Then why the fuck is Discord showing me MM/DD/YYYY date format? How hard is it to pass locale when parsing time?16 -
WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.
So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.
So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.
The function was only 3 lines of code:
- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)
- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before
- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.
No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.
So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:
"Shitstream Debugging"
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.
=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins
So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.
Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...
Conclusion:
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.
Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.2 -
I'm extremely lucky I'm not violent person. What happened today for some reason just completely pissed me off. I'm not sure why it got under my skin so much, but I feel completely disrespected.
I went to our marketing person's office to discuss a basic requirement for our api. Very simply, we have a lot of old shitty date that doesn't have a lot of fields filled out (worse yet, some are simply bogus values like crazy random dates and whatnot).
She put in a ticket claiming our most recent change started changed the creation dates to be empty. Easy enough to disprove, because the marketing software we have shows a records of all the edits for each contact, and if it came from our api it'll be labeled as "Web API". So of course I check the example contacts she give us, and there's no history of changes, meaning they never had the date to begin with (which is correct, as until now we didn't track creation date WHICH IS NOT MY DECISION. So dude 10 years ago probably made that decision).
So I start asking what exactly we're using it for. She does an absolutely horrible job of describing it and keeps telling me "no you absolutely have to be able to do all this, it's our requirements". By "this" she wants me to magically give all these contacts correct creation dates after the fact.
Eventually she gets the whole campaign idea out and I point, politely, that they're probably violating GDPR. She starts yelling saying her and her boss have been doing marketing for years and they know what they're doing. So I (less politely this time) said that's fine, I just want to talk with her boss to make sure he understands he's in the grey area and that if I'm the one building this, I'm kind of liable as well.
She clearly didn't like that, but I thought whatever, let's just agree on some requirements and I'll pass it on to my boss (who genuinely shits on her every single day and is constantly saying she never knows what she's doing).
So I go back , do some work. A little later I have to go print something off which is next to her office. Her door is shut, but I can hear her from down the hall yelling at someone about the conversation we just had. She actually starts mocking me. Doing the "stupid person" voice. This goes on for longer than our conversation.
Like I said, I know I'm right and she's just venting because she doesn't want to admit she's made a mistake. But for some reason it just completely broke me. I'm new but up until this point everyone had been pretty open about how they feel about me and my co-worker. But she just didn't need to go that bloody far.9 -
I'm moving some old data into a new database.
It contains some dates that *should* be in ISO 8601...
This is some of the trash that I found:
01/01/70
2010-11-05T08:06:48T08:06:03.7
2007-09-13T
Moreover, it has a column which *should* contains numbers, instead it has been defined using varchar, so it contains also some wonderful 'NaN' values.
I really would like to beat the person who set up all this stuff without some basic validation policies.9 -
Not my own bug, but at our sister company there is a PHP developer who almost gets fired twice a year, once when the clocks go forward and once when they go back again. He can't program dates well, or use stack overflow apparently.3
-
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
I gave you a nice date picker to use but instead you choose to type in the date. Type in an incorrect date and then yell at me for it. If I could enter the dates for you , you would not have a job .... stupid users4
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Oh boy. Gotta love having a team member (For a School project) be in charge of the Database functionality/design, who has almost no communication skills and basically no clue about how to store data in a data base.
Im talking dates stored as varchar(5), column sizes being way way to small, overall table design being rather terrible, no primary/foreign keys, pretty much... Actually no, everything was being stored as a varchar.
Not only that, but there was a hell lot of data that needed to be stored that wasn't even accounted for in the DB design. He made some code that could be used by our team members for queries, creating tables, inserting data (etc), almost 2,000 lines of it.... And basically nothing was fucking documented at all. I'm talking comments like "Insert data into cities table" and nothing else. More complicated functions had as much, or less documentation. Complete mess.2 -
There are 20 of us in the whole team. Each of us are entitled to 1 month of leave/year. Then here's the manager telling us that there should be no overlapping dates of leave vacations. FU!!2
-
So I have been looking for a job for so long now. I keep losing faith every single time I get the dreaded "thank you for taking the time to apply but we did not find a match for you at this time" I am having such a hard time staying optimistic!
I've seriously lived thru some fckd up last few years, my father died, my grandpa died and I didn't get to see either of them.
I filed for a divorce from the worst most scamming fraudulent person ever and have survived and have come out the other side, thankfully I am rid of him and all crappy people in my life. I did it all without a plan on how to make it all better, I just went with it by knowing I didn't know where I would end up but I sure as hell wasn't going to stay in that situation, nope, not a chance.
While going thru a contentious divorce and court dates, I was also learning to code--it kept me looking forward to something. Once I graduated and received my certificate . . . PANDEMIC.
Now I am competing for jobs with people with years of experience! how am I ever going to get a job in this type of situation?
I know this has to end sometime and I will eventually be able to get a job but seriously how do you stay optimistic with so many rejections non stop day after day?
this is horrible and I don't know what else to do. I'm glad I found this space for my rant.20 -
I want to stab the person that decided to make dates in JavaScript so fucking complicated to format.16
-
Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.8
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At my previous job I used to deal directly with a client. This client wasn't particularly tech savvy although he was the head of IT department.
During the beta testing phase of the project. The client would regularly send me emails with snapshots of his laptop with application open accompanied by some amount of text to explain what the error/problem he was facing.
One fine day I got an email with a very wierd error. It was a module for attendance of employees based on which salaries were calculated. The mail had a snapshot and some text saying that he was unable to see the attendance for the dates 22, 23, 24 and so on...
I immediately replied with a snapshot of the calendar highlighting the date, which was the 21st of the month. Those attendance are empty because they haven't been marked yet.
No reply untill the next day with more "errors" 😂2 -
cool...my date picker switches month and days when picking a day after the 12th...
I don't even want to google this...1 -
git push origin stupid-long-feature-name
git pull origin develop
*Checks through all changes. No major conflicts. Accepts changes.*
npm test
*4 failing tests, none of them in pieces that I touched for my feature.*
*That's funny. QA was loaded from the develop branch, and everything works.*
*Actual data has dates from today. Expected data has dates from a week ago.*
*examines tests*
Why are all these expected dates hard-coded‽
tl;dr The external development team committed 4 tests that would only ever pass on the day they were written.5 -
The last software I worked on in my previous company (a few months back), was a temporary replacement because they were switching techs. It was meant to be replaced within 2 years.
So, before I left, I added a kill. 2 years and 2 months into the future. First it spams the devs with emails "how is the tech upgrade going?" with no further clues. 6 months later it will start throwing random exceptions at random intervals. 6 months after that it just terminates the application immediately upon startup. Snuck it in between large commits, and since they stopped code reviews when I left, doubt they found it.
There is a setting in configuration with an obscure name to disable it all.
I marked the dates in my calendar. Would love to be a fly on the wall then.3 -
My company took over a project that was previously sent overseas . (PHP, laravel 5.1) so I was pointed a lead developer in this project, when I emailed the "senior developer " from the previous company about version control and code documentation. He assured me there was nothing to worry about . ... I found 450 line methods without comments and as version control I found zip files with dates as the name ... fML this is gonna be a long summer14
-
!rant
Upper management finally caved in to the endless change requests from business and explicitly made the following statement:
"We won't overpromise and under-deliver. With that, we are reducing the committed scope of development work per sprint, but will continue to deliver the same final deliverables by the delivery dates"
So all our compressed project timetables just got uncompressed, and we finally have the breathing room we've been begging for since 2017. Any change requests from business will be (finally) backlogged.
On the other hand, the number of projects have increased to fill out the new extra dev time, but at least we're now less stressed at work. Priorities!1 -
Normal person : 365 + 1 = 366
Developer dealing with julian dates : 365 + 1 = 1(New year)
Business person : 365 + 1 = 001 (because they like symmetry in their file names with dates)
We found this BUG, now we are celebrating our new year by changing code in each of script to format string accordingly.
2 -
When your "product owner" just doesn't listen...
Skype conversation:
PO: What format will the dates need to be in for the csv file upload?
Me: Just tell them YYYY-MM-DD
PO: ok
Two weeks later...
PO: there is a bug in the csv file upload! The dates aren't being picked up
Me: ok will have a look, send me through an example date the are using
PO: ok, example date 12/03/1990
FFS! 😡
3 -
There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…
But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…5 -
I have previously worked with a company where they were copying project codes through a USB and making local backups of the whole project with dates and not using git.4
-
There was a sales manager who was raked with overseeing me and another dev finish a last minute request project. He said at one point to the other dev that he was mad at developers because we understood something that he would never understand.
This same manager would often sit in on estimation meetings and constantly say that we were estimating too high and needed to come up with faster solutions. When we would offer him with caveats of possible technical debt or unintended side-effects/performance issues, he'd want us to go with that solution. He would then complain that we were always wanting to work on technical debt and that our application was slow. He would also ask for very high level estimates for large, unscoped features/apps without any meaningful level of detail, then hold us to the high-level estimated date even after revealing additional features previously unmentioned.
We learned to never compromise on the right solution and to push back hard on dates without proper scoping. They didn't learn, so I and most of the good devs left. -
Okay, I know it's nothing and all that, but holy shit please either use british date standards on en_GB systems or use ISO-8601 everywhere. It's really confusing for someone from EU to read American dates..1
-
In January this year, I began working in the office three days a week. Since last year, I have been engaged in text conversations with a girl, primarily about work-related matters as she was looking to pursue higher studies.
As someone who appreciates goal-oriented individuals, I maintained a conversation with her without appearing too needy.
Since our interactions were limited to chat, they remained somewhat superficial. However, ever since I saw her in person at the office, I started developing feelings for her. At the time, I was going through some personal challenges, which led to overwhelming and irrational thoughts.
Gradually, our casual chats progressed, and by February , I confessed my feelings to her. It was a mistake on my part because we had never been on a proper date before that day, and I hadn't even confirmed if she was already in a committed relationship.
We went out together and had a long conversation, during which it became clear that she was already committed to someone else, and that she had never thought of me in a romantic way.
This realization left me kind of sad, and I didn't do much work that day.
At the end of that day, I noticed someone sitting in the office lobby—a stranger to me, but someone who worked for the same company.
Guess who? Correct. A random girl.
She approached me and invited me to spend time at a nearby DJ event. She had a preference for taller men, and you know, as I am naturally tall and hairy, she found me attractive, I guess or not.
I felt like I had just experienced a breakup. Should I go with another woman ? I didn't feel quite right about that.
I did the obvious thing. I hesitated but ultimately decided to go with her to the DJ event without much thought.
We spent some time together, and afterward, I dropped her off at her place. However, I didn't have any strong feelings for this second girl. It could have been because she made the first move.
and it felt like something I didn't have to work hard for.
Fast forward to a sports day where I was feeling so happy after losing most of the games I participated in. I didnt even count the games I disqualified, by the way
Guess who is with me this time ?
Another girl, again a stranger to me, sat near me and started talking. She spoke about herself and her past relationships, displaying a remarkable ability to understand and use sarcasm—an uncommon trait among girls in my experience. It seemed like she really wanted someone to talk to.
She kept talking, and the next day, I asked her out for lunch. However, she said she wasn't interested in me romantically, which caught me off guard. It was perplexing that a simple lunch invitation led to such a defensive reaction from her.
The following day or some other day, or month , one of my colleagues pointed out a girl and mentioned that he didn't think he could ever date her as she seemed solely interested in long-term relationships.
I thought he might be right and that maybe it was best to let such people go for now. So I let her go. Yeah, you wish.
I approached her and learned about her family. We had a few encounters during the sports day, mostly revolving around sports and how badly i messed up games in the events.
Returning to the present, I asked her out. However, she expressed concerns that things could become uncomfortable if we went out. Since then, I haven't seen her because she moved to another office a few blocks away.
The next morning, a newcomer joined the team. She was slightly older, and by that time, I was confident in my ability to make anyone uncomfortable with lame jokes. So, I decided not to disturb her. Surprisingly, the same jokes that previously had mixed results were well-received by her. One thing led to another, and we went out. Unfortunately, she was dealing with depression, so I let her go after a few dates.
Now, let's go back to the first girl I mentioned, the one who stirred up my "feelings."
I decided to approach her, but she became furious and threatened to complain about me or have others take action against me.
I stormed out of her cabin. Later, I asked her for the reason behind her response. She said it was because she noticed me flirting with others around the office after I left her. She didn't appreciate that.
Unexpectedly, the Head of HR contacted me, and they wanted to have a talk, which happened yesterday.
Guess what?13 -
dates are just an index of time
practicing is just offsetting your initial, natural ability in a positive direction
do you guys ever just think of things in an abstract sense?
what are other examples?16 -
My current dream project is sailing a 21st Century Message in a Bottle across the Atlantic Ocean from US to Europe, satellite tracking it in apps and desktop environment and more importantly inspiring school children everywhere that anything you can imagine is possible. Fortunately, the project is rapidly becoming a reality - here's how:
- teamed with a few amazing devs virtually
- team created an effective infrastructure for communication and knowledge sharing
- researched oceanic patterns, satellite communications, sensors, material design, recovery logistics...
- developed budget and received funding sign off
- created realistic, yet aggressive project plan with deliverable dates
- built relationships with two Universities for Oceanic knowledge assistance
- developed a partnership with NOAA and will share info
Oh yeah, we did all that and are having fun in only 25 days so far! More challenges to come but we embrace the challenges!1 -
@ Developers who don't comply to ISO 8601
I really hope you get to a really nice ice cream shop, get some amazing ice cream, only for you to trip, and fall right on top of the ice cream, ruining your favourite shirt in the process.17 -
When I was in school, people came to me every once in a while, wanting to make a new great MMORPG with destructible terrain and factions.
Then came the guys who wanted to make a new amazing app that will help them fix some minor life inconveniences (like tracking expiry dates on the groceries in your fridge).
And now there are guys who want to make blockchain, IoT and chatbot based startups.
I just want to watch youtube and post shit on the internet. :(1 -
Step 1. Learn to code .
Step 2. Exchange code for money.
Step 3. Exchange money for car, soap & a clean shirt.
Step 4. Profit.
[GOTO: Step #1]
Lol. OK on a serious note coding improved my love life, it drastically reduced the frequency of dates - but dramatically improved the quality and duration of my relationships.
I used to believe that anyone/thing had the potential to be great - and (like me) all they needed was a little time to seize an opportunity.
This essentially meant there were no deal breakers and I spent a lot of time giving people benefit of the doubt and investing a lot of time & effort supporting and trying to build on aspirations that would turn out to simply be fantasies I was indulging.
I still idealistically believe that everything/one has infinite potential - only now I know which problems are worth solving, which are purely for fun or a thought experiment and which should immediately be thrown out and refactored.
All the ambition in the world is void without drive.1 -
I know I can't be the only one thinking safari is the new IE, like "it has to work on safari" makes me way more sad than "it has to work on edge"
IE is default unsupported in my company
This time around I figured out that fucking safari can't work properly with dates!
Like:
new Date("2019-05-16 11:00") // won't work
new Date("2019/05/06 11:00") // will work
new Date("16/05/2019 11:00") // won't work
new Date("11/05/2019 11:00") // will work, but it's November the 5th
Ok, the last 2 bugs are due to English&American who can't understand how dates work, but still... WHY IS SAFARI THE ONLY DIFFERENT ONE?8 -
Soo my dad has a food printer he uses to print edible images on cakes our customers order. The food printer needs to run at least once a week (regularly) to kinda guarantee not to get fucked up with its ink, as that can damage the printer when it's dry. My dad though doesn't have regular orders...
The printer has a standard function to test all colors.
My dad asked me how this task could be managed regularly, as I'm the IT guy 🙄. His idea was to log all the dates on paper.
Now I'm trying to automate this task via Windows so we don't have to care about papers to manually log when the next test must run. On Windows the printer settings can be accessed to run this color check.
... I've got a feeling this will be another one of those tasks that I will overengineer over the top😅. I've already done my research with automated batch jobs (never done batch before) but the normally proposed code for a "Düsentestmuster", so the color check, prints a different overview I was not expecting, which doesn't fit the purpose.
Now I'm here and, as I currently see no way of simplifying it, I have to kinda simulate a person that opens these settings and runs this check. With Python, pyautogui and Tesseract OCR, to prevent the program from clicking anything wrong. Although I'm sure there should be an easier way for this, I haven't found it, so I guess I have to proceed on this path and take the experience I gain as a bonus...10 -
Petition for devrant to start using iso dates. Or at least pick up the format from the device's locale. But preferably iso. Seeing m/d/y does my head in.12
-
A story from around 2005:
Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”
Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”
Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem. -
Fun fact: if you look at video release dates, Tom Scott learned how to fly a jetpack before learning how to ride a bike.2
-
"Using MD5" !? What year are we in again?
NOTICE OF DATA BREACH
Dear Yahoo User,
We are writing to inform you about a data security issue that may involve your Yahoo account information. We have taken steps to secure your account and are working closely with law enforcement.
...
What Information Was Involved?
The stolen user account information may have included names, email addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, hashed passwords (using MD5)2 -
Haven't ranted in a while so here it goes.
Head of product took me (senior dev) to a high value client workshop/demo session and over the course of two days found the reason behind why the dev team has been pushed to the limit as of late and sales/product team has been making promises to clients without checking with dev leaders on reasonable delivery dates on massive new features.
I tried my best to manage expectations by differing talking about delivery dates by saying "lets discuss that with the team" rather than giving out dates right now. But as soon as the meeting ends he sends an email to the client confirming delivery dates on features that we have done no research on or even specialize in!
Please tell me this is not how well established businesses work or is that the new reality of things. In either case I wanna find a new job :/2 -
Modern approach to displaying dates is shit
I want to see a face of a fucker who decided that "5 YEARS AGO" has more meaning than exact date "15 Sep 2019". All apps that use that fucking retarded date representation are useless shit, worst UX ever.7 -
Whoever creates blog platforms that do not display publication dates should get 20 years of labor in paper mache mines. Introducing version 4.0.0 of anotherFuckingLibrary.js! When did we do that? Was it 2 days ago and nobody had time to catch on? Has it been a year and now it's an industry standard that you haven't heard about because you're living under the rock? Or was it in 1987? Wouldn't you want to know, naughty boy?2
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Just had a discussion with a coworker. I noticed he was storing dates as string in mongodb, saying it was better for comparison and because he stored them in UTC. WTH, mongo already stores all dates in UTC and a string date is imposible to compare. I wasted 8 hours finding that last part out.6
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A wild project appears!
The deadline is set in two months.
It's a 3D environment interactive app with some oil drilling models and other stuff, for a stand on a show. It needs to look nice, but The Company we're working for needs to figure out where the fuck their product is located on those machines. Think tiny pipes, O-rings etc.
I prepare a build in the first couple of days for The Company to figure shit out.
Management holds the build back because:
> the ocean waves are going the other way
> the underwater area doesn't look so nice
> the antialiasing could be better
> one pipe is 5cm off center
> the sky is not blue enough
> the drillship propellers are pointed the wrong way
> one icon is too far to the right
> the shadows could use some work
> there are shadows on the seabed
> some flickering on ambient occlusion
> it loads too slow
> one random object is flipped on it's Z axis
> it's too green
> camera locks up if you move about 2km out of the range
> the name of the build should represent the date of the build
> the name of the build SHOULDN'T be anything else than just a simple three-word name, no dates because their environment doesn't allow apps that are not allowed (by name) by admin
> lots more random things that won't prevent them from using the app
I'm only a month late, but it's good progress. In about a week I hope we can get some feedback if we can use those models at all and what to showcase.
Then I can work on the basic functionality. And then it's a simple case of time travel to meet the deadline.2 -
Task: allow the user to sort the rows on a table.
Catch: we already had that feature, and our boss has half a brain.
And the dates were displaying in the right order.
1 -
Describing a friend's project to a friend:
"And then theirs a tinder like element, for filtering potential dates, but that's not implemented yet."
"Why doesn't he just copy tinder?"
"Er... wat?"
"You know, just copy their code and put it in his app."
"You don't... you can't... I mean you can decompile... but that's not useful because... it just doesn't work that way. For a million reasons. I don't know where to begin."3 -
One thing when working with a ton of data:
If there is a slight, infinitesimal probability that something will be wrong, then it will 100% be wrong.
Never make assumptions that data is consistent, when dealing with tens of gigabytes of it, unless you get it sanitized from somewhere.
I've already seen it all:
* Duplicates where I've been assured "these are unique"
* In text fields that contain exclusively numeric values, there will always be some non-numeric values as well
* There will be negative numbers in "number sequences starting with 1"
* There will be dates in the future, and in the far far future, like 20115 in the future.
* Even if you have 200k customers, there will be a customer ID that will cause an integer overflow.
Don't trust anything. Always check and question everything.5 -
I live in Italy and in here we all write the date like we're French...
What's up with these "locale" not working properly?
7 -
We had a lab in middle school, 5th grade, I think, where they had a few Apple IIe computers.
I remember one day looking over at a smart friend's screen and he was playing a flight simulator. I'd never seen anything like it before. When I asked him how he did it, he showed me a computer magazine where all the code was published for it. He had typed the whole thing in and saved it to a floppy.
It was part of a turning point for me when I was deciding between social groups: wanting to be a dumb jock or wanting to be smart. Thanks to that kid's example, I chose being smart. It cost me dates with the hot girls later in high school when I should have been carrying a pager for all the teachers who needed me to fix their computers for them, but I made sure to cry all the way to the bank when I was eventually making six figures. -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
So I have a date tomorrow. First meeting in person. I’ve got a little time to kill before hand, and need to learn Dart anyway....so I thought it would be fun to code her up something interactive. Kinda like that game Mr and Mrs. Only in the terminal, and for nerds.
Features, ladies and gentleman?9 -
I love them shitty scammy singles dating ads.
"Hot Single Volcanos Are Looking For Dates In Your Area."
And
"once you play this game, your friends won't be seeing much of you!"
Also merry chrysler!3 -
Come on guys, use those JSON schemas properly. The number of times I see people going "err, few strings here, any other properties ok, no properties required, job done." Dahhh, that's pointless. Lock that bloody thing down as much as you possibly can.
I mean, the damn things can be used to fail fast whenever you misspell properties, miss required properties, format dates wrong - heck, even when you want to validate the set format of an array - and then libraries will throw back an error to your client (or logs if you're just on backend) and tell you *exactly what's wrong.* It's immensely powerful, and all you have to do is craft a decent schema to get it for free.
If I see one more person trying to validate their JSON manually in 500 lines of buggy code and throwing ambiguous error messages when it could have been trivially handled by a schema, I'm going to scream.16 -
I have seen some rants about google and inconsistency.
I have seent this today about google
Calendar.
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It was funny. But when I told the head of my dptmnt that I was getting bored at work they kinda freaked out. I really love my workplace. The people are nice everywhere and this is something I am not used to.
I started working when I was 13 at one of my dad's business. It was a lot of manual labor and every day my hands would be bruised because of all the cleaning and shit I had to do. Then he moved me to another one of his businesses and it was worse but I continued doing it for only 1 year. By 16 I had moved to simpler things, I was a waiter and even tho I hated it I was making enough money to go out on dates and buy whatever a 16 year old wanted. I continued being a waiter until I was 17(changed to two other places) and before I turned 18 I joined the U.S Army. That broke my body in ways that I would normally not believe a 18 year old capable of. It was around the time that I discovered programming but even after I left the military(at 22 I believe) I never worked on a programming job. Back at home I worked in retail. And believe you me....it is far more pleasant to be constantly getting blown up and broken than dealing with the most retarded people imaginable(this is what made me hate Mexican people even tho I am Mexican myself)
Fast forward at 23 and I landed my first programming jobs. As stated in other initial rant it was surrounded by assholes. Assholes everywhere that would cower at the idea of speaking to me face to face due to the possibility of being left as physically broken as I am.
But at 27 now I found myself in a happy place. With nice people, good coworkers, an amazing manager that also serves as eye candy and good benefits. But the job is boring, boring beyond belief and this is due to the fact that they have a self taught and academically trained computer scientist doing the most menial things on a daily basis. The shit that I do would be more becoming of a designer, which has a different set of mental skills that would probably engage them more. But I really don't want to work on the web unless I am doing something that actually takes some challenge, even tho I maintain Java and PHP web services, the shit is so boring that anyone would be able to finish the proceadures in hours on a day leaving one with nothing engaging to do. Sometimes I let shit get close to the deadline just to feel some sort of pressure that would keep me awake.
I just wanted to vent on how ceremoniously BORED i really am.
I want more shit to do. Can't really have much patience for the freelance shit since it doesn't make sense to hire me in exchange of having some indian dude doing it for a quarter of the price.4 -
Ok, time to start working on things
*Twenty One Pilots casually release 2 new songs, a music video, album release date, tour dates*
Fuck that let's just fanboy all day3 -
So after a pretty packed day of family time, DIY, play dates and parenting, I managed to squeeze in a couple of hours of game dev... now to get up in 6 hours to go to work.1
-
Somehow they felt like the first day of a month isn't always n°1 (and last day might be smaller than 10)
8 -
So, just pulled another all-nighter..
On our platform I switched a quite big customer to another stock keeping system to pull them into automatic FEFO handling etc. Just a better stock keeping system overall.. I made it.. *self hi-5*
Evidently the crons caught that change, and CLEARED ALL THE STOCK LEVELS as they're now managed by said system...
Had to pull the counts, locations, expiry dates and lot numbers from the history table and old database fields, add them to an Excel sheet and then add all gathered locations by hand back into the new system, whilst also setting the new settings for them.
39 unique products that were gathered over 190+ sku objects... (Somebody didn't get object oriented, or was trying to KISS themselves, clearly...)
That's 6 hours of extra work for a stupid fuck up.. Oops? (:5 -
contemplating making this really simple regex stop matching dates after year 2999 just cause I think it might be funny and ruin someone's day for a few minutes long after I'm dead.11
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No matter the hard work you want to do, how much time you want and really spend to complete something, always a scumbag project manager will set the dates so that you won't make it in f*ing time!! Really now, it is frustrating!!
Well, I moved to a new company and all seems vanilla. But you know. Now I have this lesson to remind myself.4 -
Today I created my first shell script for automation.
I have a git repository I use for backing up documents at the training centre I'm at for work. Not a specific project, just all of the documents and miscellaneous stuff. The need for this came about because they re-image the computers every month with a new version of windows (Because they're too cheap to register windows). And I can't risk forgetting to copy all the files onto my USB drive the day before they re-image.
So at the end of each day I open a git bash and type:
git add .
git commit -m "Backup - dd/mm/yy"
git push
Not a particularly laborious task but repetitive and time consuming.
So I decided to create a .sh script to automate the process
(The idea originally occurred because of this post: https://devrant.com/rants/329221/...)
So after about half an hour fiddling about with dates and $ signs, I came up with GitBackup.sh:
git add .
today=$(date '+%d-%m-%y')
commitMsg="Backup - "$today
git commit -m "$commitMsg"
git push origin master
Not much but proud to call it my first automation script.2 -
Stackoverflow(ed)!!
Lucky to see this today.
Must say, the very next page refresh the site was up.
Don't know if it was really a maintenance or just an alternative message in some cases.
Had this been continued for some more time then many tasks' dev completion dates would have got affected. 😬
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Today I learned that some external devs one of our projects is working with have DB tables where they store references to specific dates, and not only that, but every minute of those dates, and the day of the week, and what season its in. Im not joking.
Hmm should I use the local datetime libs or should I go through a firewall, load balancer and DB cluster just to find out what day it is? -
Just searched for an e-mail in Outlook on my work computer, and expected the last e-mail I had sent to be at the top of the results list. But it wasn't there…
Then I saw that above the dates in the results list, Outlook now has a category 'Top Results'. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NOW? FACEBOOK OR SOMETHING?
FUCKING HELL!8 -
Three days ago my focus was shifted from a development role to a support role. I was shifted to replace another support guy who had used fraud to get the position. I have no experience with this role but there was decent KT and I'm catching on fine. During onboarding and KT I'm serving as the first contact for new tickets and whatnot...
Today I got a ticket with an error on our production instance that no one had ever seen before. It prevented the guy from using our service entirely. I tried to reproduce it and... I couldn't use the service either. No one could. Everything was down. I could see the sweat building on my manager's forehead.
Thankfully another member on my team has done a bit of support before, so we collaborated with each other and other teams throughout the day to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I'm listening to them chat remotely as we speak - so far I've been working on it 9 hours straight.
This service is used by everyone - it's a business critical service with due dates on actions and escalations to managers... Imagine if the support ticketing service for your company crashed. That means a lot of people are asking what's wrong, requiring extensions, etc. I've been answering to managers and seniors in the business throughout the day.
The best part? We figured out why the server went down, and the reason is fantastic: someone updated the server's code without telling anyone, and all they had done was remove critical parsing code. Just took it right out, pushed, redeployed. We don't know who did it or who even has access to do that. I guess I have some detective work cut out for me after we've fixed everything that was broken by that.
I miss coding already.1 -
So today's the day the child leaves the babysitter.
Today's the fucking day that I learn why the fuck everybody says date's are a fucking headache. Or was it yesterday? I don't know.
Fucking dates, timezones, time calculations...5 -
Microsoft.Graph has filtering capabilities for dates, which is great.
Format is: "2018-04-12T12:00:00Z"
Doesn't natively support string conversion of a DateTime to match the pattern... Nor does Graph accept any date formats such as the "s" parameter for sortable dates, which goes into milliseconds, etc.
DateTime.ToString("derp");
Sometimes I wish I was a Java Dev.1 -
I always promise myself that I won't take any freelance projects during that specific semester because I need to study for college and already have projects to do.
I always fail and get stressed out later with the amount of things that somehow I got involved with and delivery dates are always close.
I feel such a sadomasochist when I accept this freelance projects and hate myself for doing it.
The promise for fast/simple projects (that always becomes complex later) and the quick $$ get me.2 -
So I sign a contract for a new app with a client and in the contract we mentioned that a down payment should be payed upon signature. Then when we signed they postponed the payments for 4 days then after 4 days for another 4 days which is next week.
I informed them that the work is paused until they prepare the down payment. The problem here is should i change the contract with new dates or it's fine to leave it as is?
I wish i can only work on my apps.10 -
Update on my devRant client SwiftUIRant:
I’m experimenting with some UI changes compared to the official app.
* vote buttons are laid out horizontally and placed above the rant to not waste space on the left side.
* comments count shows 0 comments instead of disappearing.
* rants are not cut off but visible in full length (I plan to add a toggle setting for that)
* creation date/time is present in the feed
* date/time formatter uses the current system region and the language english. So no more awkward American dates for non American users.
What do you think?
17 -
Okay so here is how my day is going.
Recruiter 1: I have this oppertunity for you and here are a couple of dates for you to have the interview.
Upon arrival:
Bossman: I didn't see the appointment until this morning and normally I won't hold an interview without my two developers. Anyways, here is the introduction to our company.
Recruiter 2 calls in the middle of the interview. After which I call back.
Recruiter 2: got this oppertunity at this company for you and if you wish they are available this afternoon.
Now I'm on my way to that interview. Hope this one goes better.9 -
Every year, the worst dev experience comes right at the holidays, when website owners with big egos want to launch right on (U.S.) Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, or New Year’s Eve/Day because they think they’re that popular and important. It never occurs to them that this is the WORST time because any third party support you need for hosting, APIs, plugins, etc. is either backlogged or out of office. And because NOBODY is eagerly awaiting the redesign of ANY website on those particular dates since they are stuffing their faces and getting s&&&faced at bars and parties. Nobody will even notice that your website has changed until January 15th at the earliest.
-
When an enterprise software vendor stops giving deliverable dates to fix their product because they admittedly have not met any deliverable dates In the past. Huh wtf. I would say bye-bye now if it were my call.2
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So the universe is determined to fuck with me for no other reason than the fact that I exist.
I managed to get 2 dates with 2 different girls (obviously) for next weekend.
And now, Australia is going into lockdown: No restaurants and shit.
So far, I am still laughing about the whole situation but now I am faced with either calling it off (which sucks because this lockdown can go for 6 months) or find another way to meet up.
I'm tagging this as a question to see if you guys have any ideas.
As for this fucked up universe... if the parallel MrCSharp is somehow watching me from the parallel universe that has a good 2020 going on at the moment, can you please like take me to your 2020.. that'd be fab.
Oh.. and my office is now fucking closed and forced to work from home. No more gym too..
god fucking damn it...17 -
So, most (if not all) modern operating systems sync their time with some trusted source (like the Internet) right? Windows included. All is well.
When your Windows 10 computers are joined to a domain, it thence relies on your local neighborhood domain controller to tell it the time. Sounds good, since domain controllers Never Go Down, right? All is well.
Services are all being cloud-ified, which means virtual machines. The domain controllers have suffered this fate, but everything is smooth and buttery. All is well.
Wait, the VM's clock is running slow. Uh oh....
Wait, isn't it supposed to ask the Internet?
Well, no. Domain Controllers decide that They Know All, and stop asking the Internet for its opinion.
This causes problems, but only ever so slowly, and it took me noticing all the computers seemed to be ten minutes slow compared to my phone (and well everyone else's phone) to realize what had happened.
Thanks, Windows...9 -
I dreamr of programming a AI DJ that mixes like David Guetta on steroids on specific dates
maybe something I should do for my capstone, might be a fun project for a company2 -
After 3 years of postponed delivery dates and enduring a crappy internet connection the result is close enough to touch. 1 Week until I get a solid internet connection and can join the rest of modern society.
100Mbps internet here I come!
More updates to come with undoubtably more frustration!4 -
I was just wondering why the flying fuck OxyPlot was rendering an unknown node on my chart for monday when I only queued my sql db for a single Tuesday.
Noticed it was an auto generated node, which had the right time, status, everything.
I looked up my code and found out that the date somehow bugged out, and if c# isn't sure what to do with an empty date it initializes a date on 1.1.0001
And what do you know. Appearantly thats a Monday.
I broke my head way harder over this than I should have, assuming the worst possible bugs in the render engine. fml -
DAYLIGHT SAVING!!
Up to this point, I was indifferent to the issue if it should be kept or not. My sleep schedule is fucked and non-routine anyway so one hour plus or minus doesn't play any role.
I got to a meeting scheduling problem, when I have 2 timestamps in variable timezones and want to calculate time difference. Both can have DST active. There is no algortihmic way to figure out. I checked SO and pytz and it's just a list of hardcoded dates when DST starts and ends. WHATHTEHELL.jpg
Not only we should abolish the DST, we should force the whole world into UTC/Zulu. And those, who refuse to adapt to UTC, will be forced to work with plain integer epoch dates.3 -
I just scroll past this question asking how to get good at Git commands (https://devrant.com/rants/9997784/...). Figured I'd share my thoughts as a separate rant cause it's a topic I've tinkered with a bit.
So, My initial engagement with git-related queries on StackOverflow dates back to around 2021.. Surprisingly, one of my short and straight-to-the-point replies got a hand full of attention. You can check it here: https://stackoverflow.com/a/...
Now, about mastering Git commands – from my own trial and error:
1). Instead of trying to cram everything into your big brain, scribble down notes. Trust me, it’s more practical. I kept a cheat sheet of sorts as notes on my PC, noting down the commands I used day in, day out. Super handy beyond just work stuff.
2). You gotta get what each command does, but you don't need to nail it all at once. Spend a day diving into the basic commands. Leave the trickier ones for later; they start making sense as you get more into it.
3). I had this aha moment when dealing with a merge mess using a GUI tool. Switched to the command line, and bam! It made way more sense. The command line's like a secret passage to really understanding Git.
So, if you're wondering how to tackle Git commands, my take is: *notes, *baby steps, and *lean into that command line magic. Mix them up your way and see what sticks for you!1 -
semi dev related(later half)
A common and random thought I have:
A lot of units that humans use are either needlessly arbitrary or based on something weird. Like Fahrenheit. That shit is weird! 0°F is the freezing point of a water and salt solution. What a weird fucking thing to use!
But also, I like Fahrenheit more. Probably because it's what I was raised with and switching is tedious (though I'm trying. I'd like to use metric more), but also because one degree F is a smaller, more precise change. You can describe more accuracy without decimals.
On the other hand I prefer metric for length. Centimeters, and centimeters are way more precise and way less confusing than inches and .... 1/8th inches? Who the fuck decided on 1/8ths?!
Which brings me to my common thought:
If you look at a Unix timestamp, you can approximate somewhat when it happened. Knowing the current timestamp and a few reference points you can see RELATIVELY what a epoch stamp translates to. A few days ago, an hr ago, 2014ish.
This leads me to think that if we actually taught from a young age to think in epoch as a unit (not as a replacement to normal date formats but as a secondary at first) that we could just naturally read epoch time in the same manner we read dates like "28/01/2006 14:24:10 UTC"
In your brain you automatically know how old you were when that timestamp happened. What grade/job and where you lived at the time. What season it was. You know how far into the day it was, a little before lunch (or after or whatever, your time zone will vary). Now try with 1138458250. I can usually get roughly the year, and month if I really think about it, but that's it. And it takes much more effort
I'm sure there's other units we could benefit from but epoch is the one that usually brings this to mind for me.13 -
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-12-31 23:59:59 is 11 months, 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds ; so almost a year (by one second)
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-01-31 23:59:59 is the same, almost a month by 1 second.
Same for february (even with 28 being the last day).
But then, 2023-03-01 00:00:00 and 2023-03-31 23:59:59 gives me :
1 month, 2 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds.
WHY, are there fucking 34 days in March ? Is this a bug ? Is it confused with February being the previous month ?
Why would PHP do this to me ?
Why the hell is it always so painful to work with dates, it's not even like I'm stretching the standard library or using raw timestamps to hack things together
I used the diff method of PHP 7.4 DateTime, is someone wants to try it24 -
I've been thinking:
Looking for a job is so equal to dating!
- I don't want to date a random company/girl just to have one.
- I don't want to go on speed dates with a thousand companies/girls and see which one I can get along with.
- I want to go one by one and be exited and into her so that I know at least her name and what she does (company/girl) 😂
But this last strategy is proving bad to find a partner... (company/girl) 😢
What are your thoughts? Should I/we just go for whatever and not really like it or keep looking for a better one? 🤔14 -
we don't really need data types. By default, everything should be string. When you do addition, when the string has nothing but digits, commas and periods, they should be parsed added as numbers. Else, they should be concatenated. If that string-number formatting doesn't match any conventional formatting of any locale, it's a string. Same number-inferring behavior should be implemented when comparing things. There should be no type casting because there is just one type, so every comparison is type-exact. "true" and "false" are special strings that won't throw an error during comparison. Comparing two strings using less, more, less than or equal and more than or equal always throw an error.
Dates are ISO strings. Every other thing is not a date.
We basically sieve the data starting with the strictest conditions down to more forgiving conditions, then down to no conditions at all where it will be interpreted as just string. ISO date requires a very specific formatting, so we should check that first. Then, let's check for a formatted number. Then, a boolean. If nothing clicked, it's a string.
Oh, and every string is automatically trimmed, so it can't start or end with any kind of space.
No classes, no procedures, no constants, no switch operator. Also, no methods, just a lot of helper functions.
Performance will be lacking compared to languages with static types, but performance is not a priority here — this is the language for code monkeys and their AI counterparts. It should only be used for making trivial client-server prototype apps that could've been replaced by Excel if only people knew how to use it, at passable quality, that work reasonably fast on modern hardware.
Those apps will be deprecated because the company went out of business/because the project was proven to not be financially viable in several months anyway.
UI should be rendered not using a webview, but using a lightweight cross-platform UI engine written in a proper language like C++. There should be no semantic tags — every UI element acts like a div would. Everything is measured in pixels and milliseconds. All colors are #rrggbbaa. All vector graphics are SVG, all raster graphics are AVIF. All sounds are Opus. All videos are AV1. All UIs are reactive, Vue style, e.g. you change a variable and the UI updates itself in the right way every time.
Add some junior devs paired with GPT-4.5 or any super-expensive LLM, sprinkle with some Extreme Go-Horse management style (https://hackernoon.com/you-might-be...), and boom, we recreated Zergs but in the tech space. Let's solve software by brute force.11 -
My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.
One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.
GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE7 -
This was initially a reply to a rant about politics ruining the industry. Most of it is subjective, but this is how I see the situation.
It's not gonna ruin the industry. It's gonna corrupt it completely and fatally, and it will continue developing as a toxic sticky goo of selfishness and a mandatory lack of security until it chokes itself.
Because if something can get corrupted, it will get corrupted. The only way for us as a species to make IT into a worthy industry is to screw it up countless times over the course of a hundred years until it's as stable and reliable as it can possibly be and there are as many paradigms and individually reasonable standards as there can possibly be.
Look around, see the ridiculus amount of stupid javascript frameworks, most of which is just shitcode upon vulnerabilities upon untested dependencies. Does this look to you like an uncorrupted industry?
The entire tech is rotting from the hundreds of thousands of lines of proprietary firmware and drivers through the overgrown startup scene to fucking Node.js, and how technologies created just a few decades ago are unacceptable from a security standpoint. Check your drivers and firmware if you can, I bet you can't even see the build dates of most firmware you run. You can't even know if it was built after any vulnerability regarding that specific microcontroller or whatever.
Would something like this work in chemical engineering? Hell no! This is how fucking garage meth labs work, not factories or research labs. You don't fucking sell people things without mandatory independent testing. That's how a proper industry works. Not today's IT.
Of course it's gonna go down in flames. Greed had corrupted the industry, and there's nothing to be done about it now but working as much as we can, because the faster we move the sooner we'll get stuck and the sooner we can start over on a more reasonable foundation.
Or rely on layers of abstraction and expect our code to be compilable on anything the future holds for us.2 -
Who else lies about his job when dating a girl? JavaScript should be quite Sexy! I often find myself saying I'm a taxidermist with better results.2
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!dev
So last week I sort of unfriended a friend from college that i guess is more like a "chat buddy". After college we've never hung out. Part of it maybe because I'm deaf so there's a communication barrier, I lost most college "friends" after that... but then are they really friends?
The reason was though, he talks to me every night (usually 1-2 hrs online chatting on and off), we do have some laughs but recently he's been complaining about his year end bonus, how it's not enough. And also about how he deserves to match with better girls than the ones he's getting now. He's on those online dating sites and went out with a few. And he's been on a few dates but with my looks and health issues, online dating is pretty much useless. He was the only reason I even tried
He makes twice as much as me already but "he comes from a poor background" so he needs more. Honestly I make enough, but the job isn''t great (not really learning anything new, lot's of things that could be better... obviously) but it's very flexible and near where I now live... should I even choose to go into the office (I sort of work remotely from the rest of the team).
I probably haven't spoken too him for a week now and I don't feel problems, frees up more time but wondering if I sort of withdrawing/unanchored from reality and ignoring problems, settling for less.
Nowadays it really feels like, when I'm in my own apartment or just alone, I'm in my own world, I can do whatever I want... thought most of the time is spent with my devices... so I'm not sure though if that's good or not... Am I a Bachelor or a hermit?
Now i've been rambling for the last 1hr and have no idea what I wanted to say.... guess I just needed to rant...
Ah I remember now sorta... Is this relationship worth keeping or should I find new friends that are more similar to me?
Maybe I've been moving in the wrong direction in life... I shouldn't do things the normal way... Think about what's actually important to me/people like me... not what what everyone normally does...1 -
Happened a few ago when I started taking SQL classes in school. We had our theory exam with one question asking us to display the date of the following day. And since I knew dick about working with date, I decided to make the computer sleep for 86400 seconds and print current date (which was like the only command I knew about dates).I feel really stupid thinking about that now.. but it was fun :P3
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1. Find a function: getDayDiff(d1, d2)
2. d1 and d2 are momentjs dates.
3. See that function performs complex ancient math rituals and then returns an integer
4. Try to rewrite function, return d2.diff(d1, 'days')
5. Should be OK right? Run tests
6. Whole module melts down. WTF?!
Turns out the math performed returned the difference + 1 because it included the current day which moment's diff() function does not (out of the box).
Processes that depended on this function then uses the result like this:
const diff = getDayDiff(d1, d2)
if (diff-1 == should_match) { /* more fun logic */ }
$ git checkout .
$ run-shutdown-script-because-fuck-you2 -
Why the hell do languages like Kotlin (Java) and C# handle dates and datetimes so needlessly complicated?
There are multiple types with different implementations and concepts like local time or time zones represented by those types. Some of them have capabilities like serialization, some of them don’t.
Parsing and encoding is tied to the types.
Why? Take Swift as an example:
It has one single Date type (including time) which represents a point in time independent of any calendar, time zone, encoding or format.
There is a DateFormatter to parse from APIs from iso or timestamps or whatever and to format to UI as a string in any language (localization), for any region, in any format.
If you just want a container for the date time components themselves (which the concept of local date time seems to be in those languages), you can use the DateComponents type. If you are interested in dates from the perspective of a calendar, there is a Calendar type.
Everything makes sense and the different concepts are decoupled from each other as they should be.
Damn! My memory about C# is a bit hazy but Kotlin, I’m disappointed in you! Date handling is a horrible mess!
Ok, I guess I can blame it on Java and JVM.6 -
DEAR NON TECHNICAL 'IT' PERSON, JUST CONSUME THE FUCKING DATA!!!!
Continuation of this:
https://devrant.com/rants/3319553/...
So essentially my theory was correct that their concern about data not being up to date is almost certianly ... the spreadsheet is old, not the data.... but I'm up against this wall of a god damn "IT PERSON" who has no technical or logic skills, but for some reason this person doesn't think "man I'm confused, I should talk to my other IT people" rather they just eat my time with vague and weird requests that they express with NO PRECISION WHATSOEVER and arbitrary hold ups and etc.
Like it's pretty damn obvious your spreadsheet was likely created before you got the latest update, it's not a mystery how this might happen. But god damn I tell them to tell me or go find out when the spreadsheet was generated and nothing happens.
Meanwhile their other IT people 'cleaned the database' and now a bunch of records are missing and they want me to just rando update a list of records. Like wtf is 'clean the database' all about!?!?!?
I'm all "hey how about I send you all records between these dates and now we're sure you've got all the records you need up to date and I'll send you my usual updates a couple times a day using the usual parameters".
But this customer is all "oh man that's a lot of records", what even is that?
It's like maybe 10k fucking records at most. Are you loading this in MS Access or something (I really don't know MS Access limits, just picking an old weird system) and it's choking??!?! Just fucking take the data and stick it in the damn database, how much trouble can it be?!!?!?
Side theory: I kinda wonder if after they put it in the DB every time someone wants the data they have some API on their end that is just "HERE"S ALL THE FUCKING DATA" and their client application chokes and that's why there's a concern about database size with these guys.
I also wonder if their whole 'it's out of date' shit is actually them not updating records properly and they're sort of grooming the DB size to manage all these bad choices....
Having said all that, it makes a lot more sense to me how we get our customers. Like we do a lot of customer sends us their data and we feed it back to them after doing surprisingly basic stuff ever to it... like guies your own tools do th---- wait never mind....1 -
HR people who contact you to schedule an interview and you give them your available dates and times and then they ghost you...what are you even doing?3
-
After thorough considerations I came to the conclusion:
RFC3339 is better than ISO8601
Also working with time and dates in C++ is making my head hurt please help me12 -
Note to self:
Close off ALL ways things could go wrong..
Long story short; I released a new feature, to be able to better follow up on any stock moves, their amounts, locations and even expiry dates. An older tool just bypassed that very verification and nothing was logged or taken out of stock.
~
Taking out an amount for a certain orderline has a shortcut in place to mitigate some of the mandatory steps that pickers need to take in order to verify what's being taken. This little tool only available, visible and possible for a very few select users.
I assigned some orders to one of these people, which made him think it was an urgent batch. It's only one product, for multiple orders, so he went to the location, took out the amount needed and then used the tool to quickly be able to prepare them for shipping.
This bypassed the new methods to check if the location actually had stock to take, which I had just enabled for 1 account.
Luckily I caught the miss-hap as I was monitoring that product first-hand and noticed the batch of orders was collected but the stock amount didn't update.
It was 5min before I was leaving work, so I investigated and then ran to the person in question to ask what he did; which was "I used that tool"
I facepalmed myself internally while blaming myself, as he couldn't know that it wasn't ready to use for that purpose.
The tools to fix this up are there already.. so I used that to fix some missing stock-takes manually.. Though I'll need to close that little tool for these kind of orders for sure, asap, probably when I get home, at least until I bring over its new logic to it.
Happy Tuesday? (: -
story of a release
v2.1.0 major changes went live : new features, bug fixes, optimisations. also included releases for 2 associated libraries
release process tasks:
- do code
- update test cases
- test sample app
- test on another sample app
- get code reviewed and approved by senior ( who takes his own sweet time to review and never approves on first try)
- get code reviewed again
- merge to develop after 20 mins( coz CICD pipeline won't finish and allow merging before that)
- merge to master after 20 mins( coz CICD again)
- realise that you forgot to update dates in markdown files as you thought the release will be on 10th sept and release is happennig on 12th sept coz of sweet senior's code fucking/reviewing time
- again raise a branch to develop
- again get it a review approval by sr (who hopefully gives a merge approval in less time now)
- again get it merged to develop after waiting for 20 mins
- again get it merged to master after waiting for 20 mins
- create a clean build aar file
- publish to sonatype staging
- publish to sonatype release
- wait for 30 mins to show while having your brain fucked with tension
- create a release doc with all the changes
- update the documentation on a wyswig based crappy docs website
- send a message to slack channels
- done
===========
why am i telling you this? coz i just found a bug in a code that i shipped in that release which still got in after all the above shitty processes. its a change of a 3 lines of code, but i will need to do all the steps again. even though i am going through the same shitty steps for another library version upgrade that depends on this library 😭😭
AND I AM THE ONE WHO CAUGHT IT. it went unnoticed because both of those shitty samples did not tested this case. now i can keep mum about it and release another buggy build that depends on it and let the chaos do its work, or i can get the blame and ship a rectification asap. i won't get any reward or good impression for the 2nd, and a time bomb like situation will get created if i go with 1st :/
FML :/6 -
All my resolutions:
- Finish my fully FOSS gamedev workflow and start working on my game by March, have a concept demo by May when my matura exams come round.
- Do good on said exams and get into a good university.
- Do some political or social activism
- Learn the guitar to a campfire level
- Drink til I pass out if trump wins again.
- Make close friends with at least 10 new people
- Go on at least 6 dates2 -
So I wrote some code to sort images in folders based on dates.
Like 2024>06>12.
I thought thats a good little script for GPT to help me out as I wanted to write it in rust.
Everything was fine and after processing all images and videos for 24 hours I was happy.
My test runs worked well.
Two days passed and I realize something.
Some images are not put in date folders. Why? Well I guess a little bug.
Starting to dive deep and checking if other images are in folders.
I see that I have images in folders since 2015 for most months and dates.
But why are some not put in exact day folders.
So another deep dive and I find out that the creation date is different to the folder the images are in.
Often its off by months.
Turns out I forgot to double check how the code generated by GPT maps the time between image creation date and unix epoch to a date folder.
It was just doing a division by an approximation of seconds that a month has, a year has, and a day has.
This caused things to be completely off the further away we go from 1970.
Lucky me that I did not mess up the creation dates :)
Looks like another 24 hours run6 -
Yo developers.
Why do they choose different dates for server ?
We are having a three different server with three different dates. Why? TIA.2 -
Fucking excel...
I opened up my CSV and changed values in one column... You fucking didn't need to take it in yourself to change all of my dates in another column to one you prefer, they were fucking fine! -
So I wrote these E2E tests to test my credit card expiration notification emails. So I wrote my code, and tested it. Tests failed. I spent the next 6 hours (spanning 2 days) debugging my tests. Come to find out that the tests were fine all along. The issue was my code.
Apparently everything has dates starting at 1 (day starts at 1, year starts at 1). But MONTHS. Months start at 0 -
On the one hand, as an avid programmer having a non-programmer partner, we (I) once wanted to mod some Gameboy Pokémon games (Crystal), but the games were written in Assembly and I was definitely not getting myself into that. My partner was rather sad, as this was quite a big project for the both of us, but it was never finished, and it was still complicated to explain to him why Assembly is such a bitch. Nevertheless, we found other projects to have fun with (simplest of them: random movie picker that chooses a movie based on title/genre/etc. from our own movie list file).
On the other hand, explaining and making programming exciting for people who are not into it, so you still seem like an interesting person for new dates (poly relationship), is really hard. But I would also blame my introverted self and not only programming for unsuccessful dating :D -
Grrrr
I love JS, but I hate browsers.
Universal ES5 way to initialize a date from a input value in "dd.mm.YYYY" format:
var split = input.value.split('.');
var from = {};
from.day = parseInt(split[0]);
from.month = parseInt(split[1])-1;
from.year = parseInt(split[2]);
var myDate = new Date(from.year, from.month, from.day);
// if a timestamp format is needed:
var myDateTimestamp = +new Date(from.year, from.month, from.day);
No, I won't use moment.js or other bloat-braries just for fucking dates.1 -
I am lucky enough to work in a place where my coworkers are awesome and spending time with them is a blast.
Otherwise I reserve one day of the week for tinder dates, two for myself, two for tabletop rpg and two for my partner.1 -
Working as a junior dev with Js, moment.js, php and MySQL dates and trying make them respect (not love) each other and talk to each other nicely...
OH GOD WHY AM I DOING THIS MYSELF, JUST DIE IN MY SLEEP ALREADY, MY MOTHER TOLD ME I SHOULD BE A DOCTOR1 -
Lets say you used a dating app. It explicitly told you "please do not share any personally identifiable information when chatting with any boy/girl with this dating app because your chat will be stored and processed in our server to improve the recommendation algorithm of potential dates and autocompleting your flirty talk to increase your successful rate." at the beginning of the app, but you didn't read carefully and clicked "agree". After a while, you noticed the dating app already stored all your private chat in their server for machine learning.
Although legally I believe that dating app would still be GDPR compliant,
the question is, will you continue using that dating app or not?3 -
What the hell is with this date? Not sure if this is intentional... Or a glitch.
From how I read this, March 10 - April 3rd 2020?
9 -
Daylight Savings Time.
Europe switches to DST this month and specs are broken because of Ruby's DateTime which isn't DST-aware so it generates invalid dates and can't do date math properly. Losing a couple days to refactoring horrendous code that uses *nested* Timecop.freeze, mixtures of Time, Date, and DateTime, math and parsing revolving around the end of the month.
Death to DateTime and death to DST.
1 -
Ok the ionic datetime component horror ended. I got it working good enough but I'm not proud of my code. The whole thing is a giant hack parsing dates to and from strings, switching locales, setting months and days and using the month as a daypicker as this fucking component does not allow me display day names in it, only month names. Such a mess... at least now I can work on the stuff that matters.
Actually though about making this open source... I reconsidered.8 -
Now I'm a bit impressed by auto complete of VS2022.
The full text in grey is auto complete proposition.
Back story :
I have a table where datetime is stored as nvarchar(max).
I'm trying to convert that shit into a proper datetime2 column
But there are dates in ISO format, there are in MM/dd/yyyy, dd/MM/yyyy and there are some with hours/minutes parts.
So i'm making a little script to clean of all that up.
Ofc, not a perfect result, like 01/02/2022 will be considered as dd/MM/yyyy (98% of values are. But still cleaner than before1 -
You know how people are making fun of duo lingo birb getting’ all in your business about learning new language & not missing out on your daily exercises?
Well, our jira just upped the ante.. Boss asks why task xy is assigned to him.. um dunno?! I go check activity, as I don't even remember doing anything with that task recently..
All the dates, 'just now' remarks etc. on activity tab are in Russian.. WTF jira?!
ты пытаешься мне что-то сказать? -
So, myself an a friend are working on a project together. I leave for a weekend trip, I come back and find out the changelog is out of date like... six versions. I’m the type of person that likes to keep things like this. I had to manually go to the commit history and check when the package.json version was bumbed.
Yesterday, he updated it twice and pushed the versions to server, without updating the changelog. Turns out we accidentally skipped a version and decided to combine the two.
Now I have to find the dates each version was published since I like to do that too. Great fun. -
Does this book worth reading?
Hello I've finished several books about JavaScript already and many of them mention this one
JavaScript: The Definitive Guide, 6th Edition [2011]
I am a bit embarrassed, because despite it looks like a thorough 1000 pages guide, its last edition dates 2011 year.
From one point of view, it should contain core concepts that still remain the same, from the other, reading 2011 book in 2018 sounds like a not very good decision.
What would you say?8 -
Microsoft: Do you know dateadd from SQL?
Devs: Yes of course.
Microsoft: Well you can also do that in our brilliant DAX language.
Devs: Ohhhhhh.
Microsoft: It only works with a special date table, though, and it doesn't work with a non-continuous set of dates, so please don't filter too much.
Devs: Please what??? 🤯😵
Why Microsoft, why? -
Thought I'd post this for my friend in QA, because she's been having a horrible week at work.
So we were supposed to have production deployments last night (Tuesday) and tonight (Wednesday). We were told these dates a week ago, which is fine. The QA support cleared their after-office schedules on those dates to accommodate, since the deployments would be happening at 10pm.
Last Monday they moved the deployments to Thursday and Friday, because our "project managers" want to cram as many fixes and resolutions as possible. So of course, we devs are being rushed to speed these additional tasks through to being included (bypassing a LOT of quality checks).
Of course, the QA team finds defects (we devs were expecting that, so no big) and the PMs start blaming them for the delays. Which is just stupid. And my QA friend? They're trying to make her a scapegoat by throwing her under the bus with business.
Fortunately, she's a smart cookie and not only has all communications with the PMs documented, she also has the other QAs backing her up by running the same tests.
tldr; Fuck those project managers who suck up to business and don't give a shit about the people who do the actual work. May they burn in hell and their souls rot in a cesspool of acidic farts for all eternity. -
Low performance because of shitty attention span and high procrastination
Don't get higher salary because low performance
With low salary I can't go to a professional to get a medication prescription and couldn't afford medication anyway
I just wanted to have a life and live it, be able to afford to go on dates or just do things, afford a car so I can go anywhere, I had this little online romance where I couldn't afford to go see the girl, she ended up just ghosting me and it fucking destroyed me
To get this low-paying job, I was forced to open a company to work as a contractor in order to circumvent labor laws (common practice in my country, encouraged by shitty labor laws and unstable local currency); I end up having to pay to get paid
To top it all, the government just wants more and more taxes and my pay is worth less and less
My mom wasted all her money and now needs my help
I should just find a way to kill myself1 -
I fucking hate the person that created the ionic timepicker its such a fucking mess if you want to do anything advanced and it's so poorly documented that most of the time you just have to guess what you should do. Best part: this fucking component doesn't even use a Date Object it uses A FUCKING STRING that it parses, so I have to parse, unparse, parse, unparse. Who in their right mind thought this would be a good idea?!
What frustrated me the most was when I tried to use their min, max functionality. I used the component as a timepicker, so I ignored most of the Date Object and just initliazed them at 0. Afterwards set the hr, min, sec and did the same for the max value. Doesn't work... It just bugs out and I can only pick midnight of that day... Okay. I kid you not: tried for two hours to fix this shit. Console logged the crap out of that thing. Everything seemed right. Out of frustration I then just initlialized the max value like normal, so the date is the current date. AND SUDDENLY IT FUCKING WORKED. WHY?! FUCKING NOBODY KNOWS. WHO, WHY, WHAT?! -
I wrote a book about dealing with dates in data pipelines.
https://williamsbk.gumroad.com/l/...
I hope to write another one early next year. -
I am so fucking tired being the handy man that solves every problem that arises from a disgraceful project management.
I was minding my own business when a project was handed to me two weeks before the production rollout. In this project they needed a ton of integrations with the destination system and nothing was done.
So naturally I started to ask where were the integration specifications and what infrastructure was supporting the project so I could start development right away.
There were no DEV nor QA infrastructure, only production, and no one could give me a straight answer about what exactly they needed to do. That alone was a huge red flag but the kicker was that I could only start when the software provider development team finished the configurations of the system that they wanted to integrate with. After reviewing the due dates I only had 4 days to implement the integrations before the rollout.
During those 4 days I was constantly on the phone trying to get enough information to implement everything in time. After an immeasurable effort I managed to implement every critical component for the rollout.
So fucking tired of this shit.......1 -
I hate when programming books have shit code examples.
Just came across these, in a single example app in a Go book:
- inconsistent casing of names
- ignoring go doc conventions about how comments should look like
- failing to provide comments beyond captain obvious level ones
- some essential functionality delegated to a "utils" file, and they should not be there (the whole file should not exist in such a small project. If you already dump your code into a "utils" here, what will you do in a large project?)
- arbitrary project structure. Why are some things dumped in package main, while others are separated out?
- why is db connection string hardcoded, yet the IP and port for the app to listen on is configurable from a json file?
- why does the data access code contain random functions that format dates for templates? If anything, these should really be in "utils".
- failing to use gofmt
These are just at a first glance. Seriously man, wft!
I wanted to check what topics could be useful from the book, but I guess this one is a stinker. It's just a shame that beginners will work through stuff like this and think this is the way it should be done.3 -
I met a girl through Tinder. During the first date we talked abour our jobs. When you talk with passion about what you love there is not way to the other person to get interested.
#dev is the new #sexy3 -
I was supposed to relieve work last Friday and then as per request of HR on last moment, i had to postpone it to tomorrow.
Guess what, today evening boss comes and asks if really want to relieve tomorrow and then tells to change it to 31st. I tried to say no.
Then HR talked to me and his excuse was he got the dates messed up. He thought tomorrow was Friday. Fucking lie. I remember him saying it was a Wednesday when he told.
I'm seriously annoyed and tired of sitting there and being absolutely doing nothing productive other than fixing bugs assigned to team mates. I don't want to write any new code or participate in coding decision on the project, because i think that's just asking for more trouble. Team mates gotta learn to work on their own instead of relying me for every stupid little thing. I can't concentrate to work on my thing there, i just want to get out of that environment asap.
3 more boring days to pass, assuming i dont have to come on sat and sun.
😑1 -
There are mortals, then there are legends, and then there are people who import moment.js, and then manipulate dates with bare strings.
-
Currently in our 4th cycle of manual regression testing for a release and still finding bugs. Automated tests? What are those? That sounds an awful lot like it would take time to implement. Time that could be spent fixing the bugs and getting the release out the door.
When release dates take priority over quality.... -
On dates now, when someone asks me about my job, I'm using technobabble within 15 words. It's amazing nobody's walked out immediately. Maybe devRant will get that out of me . . .1
-
Working with dates in JavaScript is a real pain in the ass if you don't pay attention to timezones :(2
-
I know why some some bloggers would end up in hell.
- They write without dates. Really trying to solve some problem the solution is far south. yoo -
Ok, So I am just fed up with these project delivery dates. These are the most irritating aspect of any project.
My current project is already delayed 3 times, because of the optimistic biases of the team lead.
Developers were forced to work over weekends. The QA cycle is taking more time than the dev cycle itself, and it's very irritating waking up with a new bug in the JIRA notifications.
Everytime we reach the delivery dates, there will be multiple bug items on each and everyone's plate that you just can't release the product.
I want to know if anyone feels the same ? How does your management takes care of these delivery dates ?1 -
So.. wondering what people's thoughts are on this.
So I started working for a company late last year, so far I've done four projects (one was a test), the contract and hourly rate was sorted out and all happy. However, in the three months I've worked there the terms of payment has been changed two times (both times within 30 days).
First (originally) was being paid for x amount of hours any hours over that moves on to an hourly rate.
Second change moved over to a fixed rate per month.
And currently I'm now just on an hourly rate.
The justification for the change in terms was "the current terms isn't working out for us" - as far as I'm aware no-one elses terms have changed. However the quickness of the term changes here do concern me.
Now I do have some personal issues (disability for one) as well as other issues so I don't do things faster than other other devs, however, I get the job done and I stick to deadlines (and yes the company is aware of my personal issues).
In terms of current projects I'm only doing tweaks to current projects so my hours at the moment per week are slow (I have been asked about new projects) but I've heard nothing whatsoever on start dates etc.
Just an FYI the current work done, I've had no issues whatsoever.
So I would like some thoughts on what you'll do if you were in this situation as personally I can think of two reasons but I would rather see what other people think here.6 -
Ahhhh! some days I get that burnt out feeling when working on some projects and it just leads me to push the project off to a later date. This only happens with personal projects I have no trouble with school projects. I think I should create due dates for projects to keep myself on track or even create a routine that has specific time just for those projects.
-
A year ago was my last rant post, now I'm back around the same dates, that's curious, isn't it?
BTW here are also # functions? I have been on twitter for a long time, I acquired some bad habits! 😅4 -
Guess who’s back after a few months. I was so frustrated because of something at work today that I needed to vent.
So currently we are working together with a frontend company, we make the api, they do the frontend.
I got a few feedback points, one of the things was that they asked if the dates could be formatted in our language. I said no that’s not really recommend because the api should only handle data not translations or date formatting.
They responded with that it was because of speed... Date formatting is literally a few fucking milliseconds. Technically it is even slower serverside because the fact that I need to process it in a serverless function which is probably less powerful than the average client machine.
Fucking lazy fucks.9 -
I guess coding is a coping mechanism for not matching on any dating sites and hence no dates...
I guess you could say it helps me find alternative methods to release my per up desires... Although I guess a real relationship is something it can't replace... -
So if you recall, my last rant was about last minute, supposed critical-severity, ASAP due date requests being made, and me telling them to fuck off.
So today the boss' boss' boss called down and said a different task needs to be done by end of the month.
So now my current tasks get pushed to next month, and the person who needed their task done ASAP will now more than likely get it by mid june. Amazing.
And if you've been actively following my other rants, this is the same section manager that sends a quirky email out at the end of every night about what she's been fucking with lately.
I WANT OFF MR TOAD'S WILD RIDE -
I don't often have reasons to rant, but today is the one.
We had a deadline to finish a project, because today people are being trained on it. I've been working my ass off on it for a year now.
I "finished" about 2 weeks ago, meaning QA could start for real 2 weeks ago. As you can imagine for a project this long, there was bugs. Lots of them.
We did our best to fix most of them, or find work-arounds we could use during the demo.
Let's just say it isn't going great so far. We have several known bugs, which at some point may crash the app, a very low confidence in the fact that it's going to work well.
Oh and obviously the client is one who already use heavily the solution. Today we figured we never tested on a device with 0% disk space. Files are cut partway because of that, and obviously things crash.
I have a feeling there will be yelling sometime soon.
Right now I'm enjoying the calm before the storm, with coffee in hand.
Why do people still continue to promise dates to clients, after me telling them for 5 years not to do that?
We are a 2 devs team, with 11 apps on 2 platforms, 2 back-ends (one is legacy) and obviously our marketing site, which doubles up as e-commerce. We just can't promise anything, because any emergency reduce our development bandwith for new features either to 50% or 0%. There are so much known bugs it's not funny anymore, and we don't even have time to solve those.
To add insult to injury, at the beginning of the month, the SaaS provider for our legacy back-end (which have not been maintained for 2 years now) decided we had to update to PHP7.1 before 1st October. If we don't do anything, on monday this thing is broken. I hate that thing, and I hate having to maintain it even though I was promised I wouldn't have to ever have anything to do on it.
Monday will be "fun"...2 -
So I'm in my last year of university. The GPA is high. Did one internship the summer after second year in one of the best companies in my country. Third year in my department we do a semester long internship for 5 months, I joined a company and worked on back-end using Go. This was the spring semester and I wanted to continue working in the summer. The internsip company didn't tell me anything so I looked for a job. Found one that paid great, I was getting the salary a new graduate was getting. I worked as a full-stack there. Mostly prototyping, the company was new and I was in the R&D side. After 2 months the company had some budgetary problems and we parted ways. I was in the market again for part-time job in my senior year and because of my prior experience with Go, a friend mentioned me to a company executive he met and I had an interview and got in as a full-stack part-time dev. This was for some background information.
My story is;
The work is actually great in terms of what I do. I'm learning a lot here. The problem is that I'm having imposter syndrome for the first time ever. The projects are demanding and because that I'm part-time they take time to finish. There are no due dates or anything but sometimes the CEO is coming to me and saying "Aren't you finished with it?" or "Are you going to finish it soon?". Because that I'm more qualified in Javascript and React when they gave me my current frontend project I told them that its better if they give javascript/frontend projects from now on so that I can do a better job finishing them. What the CEO told me after that was, "Then hopefully you'll finish them sooner.". The people are nice and stuff like this only happened 2-3 times and the lead that I'm working with acknowledges my pros and cons and we have a good relationship, when I do something wrong he tells me why and how I can improve my code. But I just can't get over the syndrome and for some time I actually thought they would fire me when they get a full time dev.
Everything is great for some time. It's my fourth month and I think I felt this way because this is the most demanding job I have with senior year and also I didn't know people that well because I was the new guy. Although I still have concerns, have you ever felt this way? If you share tips or any recommendations I would feel great.
Thank you for reading.2 -
Why do javascript dates have to be so shitty?
Can anyone explain why 'Feb 18, 1977' is in the local timezone but '1977-02-18' is UTC?
2 -
Need some advice:
I got a job offer which I would love to start ASAP. However.. I have a 2 hospital dates one, 4th April and the other 13th May.
I am not sure what to tell the company. Should I be honest and say I got these 2 dates that I need to day off..or tell them about my first appointment and then later on in April tell them my appointment for May?
(This is my first job offer after graduation and I do not want the offer to then go away because if this..)4 -
Me and this friend of mine were usually average in college subjects. We were not really bad at them, we just never got any exceptional marks in those subjects.
So when our 4th sem result came, a third friend of us got really good marks in some subject , like in 90s, and we again had marks around 70s.
At that time we both knew that we know that subject way more than this topper guy in terms of knowledge, but he just crammed everything about that subject word to word and got the better marks.
We thus believed that marks doesn't matter, its the knowledge and we both know its stupid to cram useless things which could easily be referred from documentations or internet when required.
But last sem, something different happens. looks like mah boy was a little envious on the inside, he scored a whopping 88%, just near to that topper friend of ours . i was happy watching his happiness , and he was saying that "dude this sem, i will even try to beat that guy in marks."
Even though none of them are class toppers, but they are somehow running in the race to be one. I on the other hand is still firm on the belief of not cramming stupid shit just to get a status of some 'topper'.
even though cramming subject knowledge is not a total waste, i still believe we should only understand what we need to understand, like learning the moral from a war story, not cramming the actual war dates.
Some might find this quality of mine to be the reason of me being 'average', but i feel totally fine with it. I have trained myself to be able to lookup for a particular resource online faster than they are able to lookup for that resource crammed in their brain memory, and i wonder if i should feel guilty about it. Yet the society will always see me as an 'average' guy and them as a 'winner' -
Constructs that would help my team mates, but they don't listen to me:
1) classes in general
2) DAO
3) using dates from the API instead of date.now
4) not using exceptions for flow control
5) Stop using StackExchange verbatim, learn from the answer, not ctrl+c,ctrl+v
6) use datatables and read/write once to the db, not each "row" -
I will always fill out dates following ISO 8601 in the margins of forms that require the American format.
2018-02-27
2018-02-27
2018-02-27 -
Noticed rants and comment dates on the app uses the users device datetime rather than the server's. Hence if my phone's date is fast forwarded to a week later and I make new posts it shows a week ago rather than just now, same for comments. Is this the expected behaviour?5
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For some reason I always have a hard time mentally mapping "asc/desc" to dates. I think of stairs and mentally map the dates to unicode timestamps. Am I the only one? Sort descending by date is newest first, btw6
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The highlighted lines are a part of a flask app I'm writing in Python2(not python3 because I'm a bit too lazy to fix few dependency errors). All functions work as expected and all templates are rendered individually, and routes are all defined. check_date checks for invalid dates like 32Jan, 2018. It returns 0 if date is valid. add_data basically returns 0 if it decides to add user data into the database(db).
The problem is that line 60 renders but lines 54,57 don't. Any ideas as to what might be going wrong.?
PS: I'm building this app for learning and not for a production environment...
1 -
How I got my first Free Swag?
I stole it?
Obviously no,
So it dates back to year 2016. After learning about open source project and working with few organisations, I noticed few contributors and developers with t shirts having logo of the company or organisation.
I mean if you see a guy wearing google tagged t shirt don't think he works in Google, he might have purchased it.
Next, I started searching for ways to obtain one. I reached and texted developers and all they told me were two golden rules.
1. If you develop something or update something, showcast it.
2. Always show the organisation what you do for them, even if it small contribution.
After this I started mailing and texting the contact mail id of companies and organisation I worked and contributed. Some texted me- no we don't have free items, some said we can't ship to India.
But out of 100 replies with 85 negatives, I recieved 15 positive replies. I was amazed to know that I'll recieve one.
You know what I was showered with
Stickers
T shirts
Laptop skins
Keychains
And many more.....
This Rant is for you to motivate and showcast what you do.2 -
Been stuck a week with JSON serializer struggles on the backend I'm working on... First of all, this project has source code dating back to 2013, and the dudes back then decided to use three versions of json. So you have your usual application/json and then two custom ones.
Not happy with that, they decide on using two serializers, XStream and Jackson. One custom and application/json run through XStream, and the other more legacy custom JSON runs through Jackson. So this is a bloody mess.
But now they want application/json running through Jackson, and this is breaking all the regression tests. Have to reimplement all the type, field, alias and other kinds of mappings they made for XStream, and sort out all the regressions this causes.
And the dude who designed all of this is revered in the company, although he left a while back. Not sure if I'm too much of an idiot to understand the utter brilliance of the approach, or its just poorly designed... Fuck my life, those due dates just keep creeping closer and closer and this kinda crap just keeps coming :S2 -
!dev
Assuming your office is not against workplace dating, how would you feel/react if a colleague asks you to a date on Slack?
Scenario 1: you guys work in the same team.
Scenario 2: you guys work in totally different teams.10 -
We ended up finding ourselves with a bunch of tables that have mostly the same columns, but differ by a few. Every time we consume a REST API, we store the `access_token`s and expiration dates and the other OAuth data. However, each provider has slightly different requirements. For example, we store email addresses for email api's, other providers require us to store some additional information, etc. etc.. I'm tempted by the flexibility and lack of schema brought by document databases, but not enough to use one since they're generally slower and we already have everything in SQL. So I got the idea of using JSON columns to alleviate this issue: have a single table for all REST integrations (be it outlook or facebook), and then store the unique integration data inside of this JSON column for "additional data". This data is mostly just read, not filtered by (but ocasionally so). Has anyone had experience with this? How's the performance of JSON fields? Is this a good practice or will it get harder with more integrations?
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I need to change how payments are applied to invoices.
ApplyPolicyPayments() looks promising! Make changes to the method to look at the bills in order of the invoice due dates.
Run a test on the DEV environment, and the system is still exhibiting the same bug.
At this point, I wrote a quick logging plugin that I could attach to the DLL and start telling me what is going on.
Turns out, payments are actually applied in a method named BalancePolicy(). So what does ApplyPolicyPayments() do? It DOES apply payments to bills, but then just doesn't save the work. Having it commit the transactions breaks the billing system. FML. -
GitHub PRs
You want to know whether it's merged already so you scroll and read every comment, tension is building...
it was open months ago... you keep reading in June
comments are March 25, (OK)
(reads another 20 comments) (OK)
May 1st (fuck I don't want to see any dates close to today)
keep scrolling - May 9th (fuck fuck, no, please be merged by now!!!)
Many of them asking for the merge with dozens of upvotes
next 16 days ago saying "Is this going to be merged now"?
And you keep reading and hoping and it gets to today and it's just hanging in there
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh2 -
I pride myself on not being a nerd. I can communicate with customers and I don't dismiss aesthetics, marketing, delivery dates, and legal considerations as completely inconsistent and arbitrary.
But still, when clients complain about my predecessors, I start to feel for them and imagine when past developers
- preferred to rewrite the legacy system
- were reluctant to use Microsoft software
- needed much more time than estimated
- and failed to understand implicit requirements.
I know that there are a lot of developers in the world, but you need a decent or good one who is available and willing to work on your project.
As (web) developers, we should behave more like craftspeople, stay calm, and ignore entitled clients' and managers' moods and micro-management attempts unless there's really a critical issue.12 -
What is a good way of enforcing rules (particularly following release procedures, cut off dates) for a team?
Other than the rules need to be well defined and written down, I'm thinking there needs to be a consequence for violations....
Like must provide a valid explanation or buy the boss/team/whoever has to do extra work because of the violation a drink.
But not sure what's a good one, does it work out is this too Draconian?9 -
Show of hands for people who feel they can effectively estimate their work and consistently give accurate due dates on short tasks and longer projects?9
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I'm tempted to join a cybersecurity challenge and give it a shot. The only problem is that the dates for the admission tests are fully overlapping with my exam period at university, and I *need* to pass some exams this time.
Why does it always have to be so complicated? -
People are like programming environments, in basics all people are the same like all programming environments are the same, every programming language have a loop and conditions, numbers, strings and dates. The problem starts with syntax to write code or can you call it communicate with person. There are syntax errors, someone use functions and classes and that’s ok but someone is writing everything in one file and then it’s hard to communicate or change something. But the real problem are libraries or you can call it believes. Everyone is believing something but when you start using it and want some advanced functions there’s always something missing. When you want to contribute to fix that stuff you often can’t cause it’s closed source or maintainers are pricks. You end up writing wrappers and decorators, ignore malfunctions to somehow live with that problem. That’s called social skills.
We’re just programming environments. That’s all.1 -
Trying to book a trip to the sun. Filling in personal info. -> "untranslated error message".
Trying again -> no more room for these dates.
Trying again on another computer -> the date itself does lot appear (but other dates do show up as "fully booked")
IS IT SO DIFFICULT?? WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE YOUR WEBZ WORKZ!!?!2 -
Why does the TSQL BETWEEN operator include the first and last value in the results when filtering on numbers, but only includes the first value and not the last for dates?3
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Hey folks!
I'm looking for some software or service to manage the referees in my sports club.
I want to assign people (and maybe even groups of people) to a specific game and have an automatic notification for them. Then the assigned referee should be able to confirm or deny the assignment.
Some extras would be something like a counter of how many games each specific referee has done and some kind of calendar where the referees can block some dates where they don't want to have a game.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance! -
If the clock is not complicated enough, with DST and timezones.... holidays and red days is even more complicated..... (a perl sub which returns all red days for sweden. It does not return any holidays thats always saturday or sunday)
Requires Date::Calc and Date::Easter
What a mess dates and times become..,
sub GetHoliDayList() {
$yeartocheck = $_[0];
$holiday{'1-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'1-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'5-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-25'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-26'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-31'} = '1';
($eastermonth, $easterday) = gregorian_easter( $yeartocheck );
$hea = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) - 2);
$heb = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) + 1);
$holiday{$hea} = '1';
$holiday{$heb} = '1';
($year,$christskytravellermonth,$christskytravellerday) = Add_Delta_YMD($yeartocheck,$eastermonth,$easterday, 0,0,39);
$chstv = int($christskytravellermonth)."-".int($christskytravellerday);
$holiday{$chstv} = '1';
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,19) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-19'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,20) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-20'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,21) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-21'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,22) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-22'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,23) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-23'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,24) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,25) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-25'} = '1';
}
return %holiday;
} -
I really want to go on some blind dates & meet some new, beautiful & amazing women. but in my country, blind dates so rare :(
I wish, I lived in South Korea9 -
Don't make your problems too tangible. Abstract them. Sure you need to check which events (given by start & end dates) are happening at a given time. Don't jump in just yet. Think about it. You're searching for intervals given a point. Google that. Read about it. You'll learn something useful instead of just doing an inefficient naive solution. Now that you know it, show off. Find some programming competition and own that!5
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GRAYHATHACKS CONTRACTOR HELPED ME GET PROOF THAT MY HUSBAND WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR
Hi there. You know, the kind of situation where you're not sure if you're making the right decision, but you know you need answers. That's where I was a few months ago. My husband had been acting so distant, so suspicious, and so overprotective of his phone. The gut-wrenching feeling of not knowing what was happening was eating me up inside. I'd catch him smiling at his screen when he thought I wasn't looking, and then he'd quickly switch it off when I walked into the room. The whispers and secret calls were just too much to bear.
That's when I stumbled upon Grayhathacks Contractor. At first, I was skeptical, but desperation can make you consider things you never thought you would. I reached out to them, and from the get-go, they were so understanding and professional. They made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I was doing the right thing for my peace of mind. And boy, did they come through for me!
The process was surprisingly simple. They had me send over my husband's phone details, and they got to work right away. Within a week, they sent me a detailed report that had me floored. It was like they had peeled back the layers of deceit and laid bare his infidelity. The damning data they harvested from his phone and laptop was overwhelming. They found text messages, emails, and WhatsApp chats that left no doubt in my mind. He was having an affair with a colleague from work. The conversations were explicit, filled with lovey-dovey language and promises that should've been reserved for me. There were dates, times, and even hotel bookings that coincided with nights he claimed to be working late. And the photos! The raw pain of seeing those images of him with someone else is something I'll never forget.
The thing that really got me, though, was the voice memos. Hearing his voice, saying things to her that he hadn't said to me in years, was devastating. But it was also the proof I needed to finally confront him. And when I did, he couldn't lie his way out of it. The evidence was right there, cold and clear. Their spyware was top-notch. It was undetectable, and it gave me access to everything: his calls, messages, emails, social media, and even his location history. It was like having a pair of invisible eyes and ears. They even helped me understand the technical side of things, guiding me through the process of checking the data they had collected.
If you're in the same boat I was, I totally get it. The thought of hiring a hacker is daunting, but sometimes you just need to know the truth. And let me tell you, Grayhathacks Contractor will give you that truth. They're not just hackers; they're detectives of the digital age, helping people like you and me uncover the painful realities that are often hidden in plain sight.
I'm not saying what they do is pretty, but sometimes you have to get a little dirty to find the truth. And when you do, you can start to rebuild your life, piece by piece. It's been a tough journey, but thanks to Grayhathacks Contractor, I'm on the path to healing. I now know exactly what happened, and I can make informed decisions about my future.
So, if you're feeling lost and need answers, don't hesitate to reach out to them. And who knows, maybe one day you'll be writing a review like this, sharing your own story of how they helped you get your life back.
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I wonder have I not made it clear enough that I'm sick of them doing the same shit with the constant fear of them stealing everything up to this point instead of letting me grow past their bullshit ? I mean that's what makes this unbearable they're being more out in the open and making their bs more visible and then dragging people around in a circle
Do I need to fuck your whores to get away from the chomos ? Explain.
Each area wears two or more faces
I've seen many of them
Anywhere you retards take over
And they fuck with dates and times and personal property personal development productive use of time etc and create a combination of arbitrary morons and faux intellectals who talk all proper and pretty.
Putting aside how incredulous I am over this massive waste of time and life, if so little matters why cant I live as I wish make things write programs poetry stories and learn things like I used to have more energy for ? You pieces of shit stole everyone's photos and videos and handed them to parasites. Stop.
Do I have to hurt people I've identified as associated with the thieves who are still doing things like trying to pimp underaged in girls who behave and posture identically to the adult whores they're being trained to be ?
And wtf. That remains insulting to the extreme
Get said faggots away.3 -
Non "dev"-rant, more of a social/relationship/life rant..
Just,, fuck,, my,, life..
Backstory; I have some issues, I'm not normal, socialy, so I finally gave up on life, do just enough to continue providing for my daughter (cause her mother is more fucked up than me), that means letting go of any chance of happiness, dating, the few friends I had and so forth.
The latter simply means that I stop trying to keep em around, because that's how it's always been, and they're all gone, all except one. THE one, the one I work with, the one I fell totally in love with a year ago, the one that is the first and last thing of the day on my mind, the one I had to tell my feelings for, the one that I really need some distance from.. But no. She's the one that won't let me go..
I'm on my way to a concert right now, a concert I tried inviting her to a few months ago, she wasn't interested,, For some reason I opened Instagram right now,, bam, right in my face. Her,, in full makeup, which she never wares, posting a selfie, which she never does..
Whish I could say why life is so fucked, but take my word for it, it just is.. And guess what, After the Christmas holiday, one day in, she probably noticed that something was "off".. and she immediately suggest that we take one of our "dinner dates" next week, and I'd bet that the first question is "you're beeing wierd, what's up?", and all I can say, again, is "can't talk about it".. cause I really can't, anything I say is that much to much..
Fuck!
Yes, this rant is mostly focused on "her", but to get a hold of my state of mind, I've given up, and just accepted that I should never have any kind of social life, cause that's simply best for everyone.
And if you wonder why I'm posting this here, I don't have time for a therapist, and "she" is my PM at work, where I'm THE senior developer.. Every issue that anyone else haven't been able to solve, ends up in my lap. She calls me magic on a daily basis..
Yes, I'm drunk as fuck right now..1 -
I'm searching a user friendly calendar app to use on my smartphone and on my wife's smartphone. The goal is share dates and deadlines.
Any suggestions?2 -
What happened to the Grow with Google scholarship dates on Udacity? It was supposed to be applications due by Nov. 30 recipients notified Dec 7th not its Dec 31st and notified Jan 7th.wtf?
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The Future is long in the past and it happened. Don't try to steal it any longer and listen to the truth and match it to whatever the real dates are. Far too much yet to arrive
Stop trying to shape everything into a loopty loo web of idiocy with a decade or more of pre filmed television and movies thanks much
Doesn't look like any of it was being withheld but seems like some of it was filmed far past the supposed date it was released or filmed heh2 -
Soooo what would be wrong for a developer to aim for a partner in a similar profession or the same?
I had my fair share of exp now and must say that i really love what i do and am really into learning and developing and applying all that I learn. I missed that drive in the dates that I had. I feel passion, purpose and understanding with what we as devs deal all day would be really helpful for a prolonged relationship. I dont wanna go for a power coupling but it would be nice to have ur partner on board no??2
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