company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4

No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.

all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.

Now the project is officially under raging fire

Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning.

my neighbour's life..

birth
hey please fix my laptop
death

I am famous in my worplace not coz I am good at what I do..its coz my gf works in same place #NerdGotGf 😁

me: yes..hurray I fixed 5 of 25 critical bugs. Its turning out to be a great day.....

...checks the bug list....

"There are 29 critical bugs in the list"

my boss have a weird habit of asking plan to us...this happened today

boss: What's the team plan today?
me: Not getting frustrated..
other devs: <claps>

somewhere in this world this happened..

Company lands huge enterprise project
manager: we have a year to get this done.
poor devs : excited and thinks about so much learning with this project it would be.
manager: Lets get work started with (spits planless jargons)...meanwhile another team is working on SRS.
poor devs: So we are doing R&D right..(excited)
manager: No we have a demo scheduled after 15days.
poor devs: What??
manager: Get on it..we need something to show on demo.
poor devs: no words spoken

...after one year of unplanned demos...
manager: we have to stablize project..UAT is nearing.
one of brave poor devs: No no..lets focus on demo...why do you need a stable product.
manager: instant rage

boss: Hey! this is your task A. It needs to be done by today.
me: Ok boss
....after sometime when I am halfway through the task....
boss: Hey! here is a task B which needs highest priority.
me: but i am already doing A and I am halfway
boss: No, B is on priority
me: ok
...at the end of the day...
boss: So I hope you have completed task A as I mentioned that was to be done by EOD.
me: ****instant rage****

and I thought this was feature of windows 😂

There are two types of linux users
1. one who actually enjoy linux
2. one who just hates windows

Story of a nerd his girl and security

girl: Why are you so insecure?
nerd: I am yet to buy ssl certificates.

a git story

people: What do you do?
me: I'm computer engineer.
people: Ah! You fix things then. Can you fix my TV?
me: