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Person: What do you do for a living?
Programmer: I'm an etymologist
Person: What does that mean?
Programmer: I work with bugs7 -
Whenever I need to find bugs in my product, mostly mobile applications, I give it to my 5 year old son and say "Go, do your thing!"5
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99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around,
[503 - INTERNAL SERVER ERROR, COULD NOT COMPLETE VERSE]2 -
Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.
*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*
And for how the conversation usually goes
Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."11 -
My colleague just committed some code with description "improved some bugs"
...should I be worried? 😂7 -
Police officer McDucky reporting for duty. Hope we catch a lot of pesky bugs and complete projects.
3 -
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday
3 -
Am I the only one who solves more bugs in my head on the commute home from work than I actually do at work?10
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99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
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Have you ever seen an app or website so awful you seriously consider to apply for a job at its maintainer company just to fix the flaws?8
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Today I found the reason for one of the stupidest bugs I had in like.. ever!
Me and a fellow student are currently porting the infoscreen of our university to HTML.
One of the functions of this screen is showing payed advertising and I was working on loading and displaying the images of our advertisment partners.
I had the whole system in place, and the images loaded.. but they wouldn't show. Upon inspection I saw they were displayed but with a size of 0x0 px.
I spend hours searching the web for javascript bugs, double checking my css file and everything you could imagine. I even asked my CS professor for help and he didn't find the cause for this strange issue I had.
..and then I saw it. A little note in Chromes inspector saying the image style would be set by my user-agent. Despite not trusting that information, I closely inspected my browser.
And then it dawned on me.. I would turn my adblocker off and lo and behold.. it worked!
I then, after celebrating my triumph, changed the tag of the img element from 'advert' to something else…3 -
I want to go back to the times where "bugs" were beetles and grasshoppers, nothing related to code or computers.
Why did I sell my soul to programming???
And most importantly, why doesn't my code work???13 -
A quick advice to new developers. Never and I mean NEVER do a "quick edit" or "beautification" extremely close to a deadline. You should not underestimate the power of bugs.3
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Overheard this conversation today:
1: look at this! My shiny new iPhone can measure stuff!
2: how accurate is it?
1: not very, it is pretty buggy.
2: how did the bugs get in there?
3: it is an apple so5 -
- Stuck on a weird bug for 30 minutes.
- Visits bathroom.
- The moment I get back suddenly the solution is before my eyes.
Moral of the story. When you are stuck go for a piss. It really helps.3 -
The worst kind of bugs are logical ones, they go undetected, no error, no alert, and when you notice them, it's too late.3
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So this morning I went to go brush my teeth while half awake. It wasn't until I almost put the brush in my mouth when I felt something moving on my hand, then I saw that the entire head of my brush was swarming with ants. I immediately dropped the brush and almost yelled out loud.
But this was nothing compared to the amount of bugs I saw when I opened my Visual Studio.2 -
A really neat short film by JetBrains about bugs and how they are fixed. I wish this would be reality ^^
https://youtube.com/watch/...
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The One thing every Dev should know about:
Never Push to production on Friday.
Coworker pushed to production yesterday.
Customer saw it and likes the new features.
Customer also saw a shitpile of Bugs.
Customer is angry and my weekend is runined -
Two friends and I are about to publish a side project in two weeks (for an open Beta) it feels good but I am kind of nervous...
Today I found new bugs and I don't know yet if we have the time to fix them all...
Do you have any tips / experience you could share with me?13 -
I hunt a bug for hours. Nothing works. It's getting late. I want to go to bed, but I cannot leave it in an destroyed state like this. The whole application is a mess. Finally, I understand what's happening. Finally I find the issue. I correct the bug. Proudly I commit my fix. Git reports: +1 insertion, -1 deletion.1
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Sitting at home debugging code for the fun of it when... "I would debug 500 bugs, and I would debug 500 more. Just to be the man who debugged a thousand bugs to fall asleep on the floor."1
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[PM] - "Hey, <that guy> is joining our team for the next 6 sprints"
[Me] - "Really?, <that guy>? You want bugs? Cos' that's how you get bugs"1 -
I wish my clients would stop reporting "bugs" in my app that are legitimate results calculated from crap feed to it by their upstream systems.
Just because my app is easy to use it's the first place that they find out that their ecosystem is fundamentally broken.
GIGO, people.1 -
Dear Santa, please bring me a compiler that generates compile errors instead of runtime bugs. Thanks.13
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We're 2 months away from going live.
This has repeated for several weeks now :
Monday : 17 issues (aka bugs, incomplete features)
Work work work.
Friday : 7 issues
Nice. Lets get a good weekend rest and finished this next week.
Next Monday : 17 issues.
QA found some new bugs or some already resolved issues came back with different details.
...and repeat. Exact numbers, plusminus 1 or 2.7 -
When starting a project at work:
My name everywhere. Every file, every change-list I proudly put my name to prove my skills.
Program goes for validation:
Thousands of bugs.
Realize that I've written shit code. Slowly removing my names from all over the code.1 -
My day in one sentence: I found about 20 ways in which my code doesn't work as expected.
I hate these days, where you spend 80% of the time debugging and always find tiny new bugs.5 -
Happens every day:
"could you please fix those bugs ASAP? Testers are waiting for it"
*resolve the issue and inform the requester*
(two weeks later)
"Thanks, I'll inform the testers they can begin their tests"
Ugh, how ASAP makes everything seem so urgent and important
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My job in a nutshell:
*fixes app, so it's working 99% bug free*
*Chrome update*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
*iOS 10 comes out*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
"we can now remove iOS7 support"
*removes code*
*app is full of bugs*
For fucks sake!!2 -
My FAVORITE bugs are those in someone ELSE's code that MY code depends on. Like an API that won't respond correctly when I FOLLOW THE DOCUMENTATION EXACTLY. 😐1
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Rant::aboutMyself(my_code){
Wrote 500+ lines of code without proper documentation. Got 200 little bugs. Got frustrated. Gave up on code. Started documenting it. Step by step. Resolved many silly mistake while documenting the code. Completed documentation. Run the program . Bugs reduced to 10. I'm sooo happy. I LOVE DOCUMENTATION 😍
}2 -
Happened at work a few months ago (I'm new to devRant, that's why I post this now):
"I have bugs!" - "Then fix them..." - "No, come here and have a look, I have bugs!"
He literally had a bunch of very small insects inside of his monitor, don't ask me how they got there.1 -
Before production deployment: Everything is running well, all bugs are fixed, serenity sets in.
Production deployment day: Fire everywhere
goddamit we don't get a fucking break2 -
There are two type of bugs that will keep you awake all night.
Mosquitos and bugs in the code.
Both equally annoying1 -
A woman has bugs in her home, she wants to find a bug hunter to get rid of them. She calls a man who does bug hunting, he comes to her house and says: "I am a bug hunter, you called me. Where's your laptop?"
Woman confused as she is asks the man: "Why do you need a laptop to hunt and get rid of the bugs?"
"Well how else am I going to debug those bloody programs you wrote?"
Note: I promise I made this up, if anyone else already posted this, I wasn't aware.3 -
Bugs in code are like heartbreaks in humans. They suck, but they also teach you some important lessons 🤷♂️9
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This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?
I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎4 -
Awesome! New server!
With a newer version of MySQL
With new bugs on my websites
Seriously, this new version destroyed all the queries6 -
After many years... I truly believe that non IT people belive that this is how programmers work:
- Goodmorning computer. How are you? Can you make me a program? I want the program to include an userfriendly userinterface, database, optimized code, documentation and dont forget that i dont want any bugs! Thanks computer. I'll get back to you when my coffee is ready.5 -
[...] we should never ignore any part of code. The parts we ignore are where the bugs will hide.
- Uncle Bob1 -
Do you have a "I don't write bugs" colleague? Put your language equivalent of this around their code and wait.
try:
# their code
except Exception:
print('lmao')4 -
Worst thing ever what can happen to programmer ? Its 12 AM you have lot of code to write you wanna to sleep but coffe is not helping no energy by hand or anything.
Well happened to me yesterday i was thinking why i have so many bugs in there when i wake up 😂😂😂😂 -
So yesterday I was testing my friend's app which as said by him is 100% okay.
I found 48 major bugs and reported him. His reaction was "Dude these are just minor issues and client don't even know about it. See there is some real bugs?"
RIP to the app developer and the client. -
My dev superpower would be finding bugs instantly, because I think looking for bugs is the most time consuming part in programming.1
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When your co developer asks for you to check out her website and tell her any bugs you notice, I then proceed to give her 8 bugs in her code and she freaks out on me lol
Maybe your not as perfect as you think you are....4 -
If Batman was a full time programmer in Dark Knight, "Bugs are not complicated, Alfred. Just need to figure out why they're after" 😂
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when you intentionally break something you just spent a lot of time fixing just so you can understand what fixed it
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Once upon a time, devs were evaluated on the number of source lines of code written, and how many bugs were found and fixed. Needless to say, a ten line piece of code became 150 lines, a couple of bugs would be thrown in for good measure.4
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99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs
Take one down and pass it around
127 little bugs in the code2 -
u know guys bugs are horrible thing I come with easy solution
if (bugs haven't been killed) {
killBugs();
}
if (bugs have been killed) {
printf("Congratulations you now killed all the bugs but they will show again somewhere else !!!!!!");
}
if (bug can't be fixed) {
makeBugAsFeature();
} -
Bugs fixed, bugs have been fixed, bugs removed, daily bug fixing, bugs have been weekly fixed, update, daily update, weekly update, ...
9 -
Sometimes, when bugs get a bit out of hand... You have to counter them with better debugging methods 🐥
2 -
Very important lesson I learned while working with Xcode:
Always have multiple major versions installed and ready to be used.
Xcode 9 can't convert old Swift 2.2 project to Swift 4 and can't open the "old" project? Xcode 7 can help you.
Xcode 9 crashes randomly while moving top level packages? Xcode 8 can help you.
Yeah, always funny to find new bugs in Xcode...6 -
My new software dev mug that I designed for myself. It's got bugs on the side, because, y'know, bugs.
"What is a bug but a feature unloved?" 🤔
1 -
I want to lose some weight and tone some dormant muscles. So I decided that I'll do some pushups and crunches every time I run into a bug with which I'm struggling. Seeing as I write more bugs than stable code, I should be ripped in no time.3
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To code or to rant--that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler on mind to suffer the bugs and errors of outrageous source code or to post them on devRant2
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Developing in your local environment? A few bugs here and there. Deploying it to production in a completely different environment? The whole app is a bug...3
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So, i helped solving 168 bugs for this website. Ofcourse, doubting every step since i'm still new here. Yesterday there was a meeting with the directors. Appearently they where happy a graded the site with a 8.5.
I finished my education with a 6. Not taking credit for any of the above...4 -
FUCK THE SINGLE BUG IN A MONOLITYC APP THAT I CORRECTED AND IT INTRODUCES PLENTY OF OTHERS FUCKING BUGS. I SPENT HOURS DEBUGGING THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE THIS AINT GONNA END3
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Most satisfying bug I fixed?
Indentation bug in python after searching hours for the bug. Yes, indentation bugs still happen in 2018. Thanks to TDD I failed fast otherwise it would take way longer to find the bug. -
Fifty little bugs jumping in the code,
One tracked down and dev started to code,
Developer called the compiler,
And the compiler said
Hundred more bugs (& errors) found in the code
1 -
Contex: Working on a c++ frankenstein code (mixture of legacy and new stuff whith things depending on the client using it)
User Story: Migration from oracle to SQLite for half of the DB data
Summoner: One client wants to keep using legacy for now, therefore we need an strategy chooser templated singleton...
Satan 666 = Singletons + Static methods + Different compilation units
Result: 3/4 of the files of the full backend being modified for the migration.
Conclusion: When will be loaded on production company will probably lose many clients due to unspected bugs everywhere.
Insert potato here2 -
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for bugs like you. If you let my program go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will debug you.2
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Once i worked on an application which has very long form and submit to a soap endpoint (post). I felt my life was so pointless when testing after i made changes. So I automated the testing by generating post request so i can just run it.
I filled the user name with Brandon Boyd, Alan Turing or Ryan Gosling. And it increments like Boyd1, Boyd2.
Once my colleague found a bug, the data never get saved but all the boyds persists. He knew it was me, who uses that kind of name
My barbaric manager (was involved) kind of pointed his finger at me. I sweat a bit though i couldn't find logical explanation why Boyds stay. but turned out someone changed the sqlscript. -
God fucking damn this stupid MariaDB is full of bugs... First access denied because I tried to login as root as non root and now that... Damn...
7 -
When your website is tested after months of efforts and then tons of bugs come up....
Gonna fix each of it..
Y am such a poor developer.. !!!! 😖😞2 -
When after a drunk night your code is working and yesterday's bugs are all gone.
I'm so lucky that drunken me is my coworker. (:2 -
After finnishing all functionality defined in koncept our boss said that we should write some unit tests.
Wrote first one and already found 2 bugs.
I guess we should start with tests earlier 😅😷3 -
The Hydra regrows three heads for every head chopped off. Just like fixing bugs. For every fixed bug three new pop up.
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Valgrind is awesome. Today I fixed a lot of memory leakage / overflow bugs thanks to it. An guess what? Now, everything works!
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Sometimes 3 lines of code can make you question your abilities about yourself, make sure you comment them 😭😭😭😭😭
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The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
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the funny thing about bugs, they reproduce on their own just fine, and often where you don't want to them. the trick is figuring out how they reproduce so you can work out how to make them stop reproducing. to do that, you have to intentionally reproduce them.2
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Just got to experience this classic (again):
99 little bugs in the code, take one down, patch it around, 127 little bugs in the code... -
Twas the night before deadline,
And all through my house,
tons of bugs were scurrying from the
onClick event of the mouse.
Seriously though... Dreamweaver CC needs to revamp the way they implement bootstrap snippets. Specifically the navbar hover and click on <ul> dropdown menus.6 -
I want an tv series for developers, like "painting with bob ross" was for painters. "Oh i made 3 bugs. Oh dear. Lets make them birds now, yep they are birds now"3
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I said to my partner "BABE!! There are bugs on the screen!!!"
She screamed.
When she say the actual screen she wasn't pleased .-.2 -
Happy days, yesterday we updated form 16.3 to 16.4 and thanks to them fixing the bug in 'getDerivedStateFromProps' my broken code is now breaking.
Don't you just love it when features inadvertently depend on bugs. The entire component ONLY worked properly because of a react bug.3 -
So there is a mall here that idk how but has little currents pass through it's supporting rails. And every time you touch it, it gives you a little shock.
I have been waiting for about 3 months now expecting a patch fix when I realized that physical production bugs have no patch fixes. More than 3/4th of the population is unaware of a whole different level of bug fixing frustration. Damn1 -
Having a problem with cors not working on firefox:
- fuck this piece of shit full of bugs
Problem fixed:
- firefox is awesome -
You know what I !love about summer?
My loneliness seems to just fucking FLY away.
More bugs in my house than in Windows ME3 -
Pretty sure that the code doesn't work on the first run, so I thought why not debug it now? but then when am I actually gonna run it...
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My day today? Fixing bugs caused by the Change to the Summer time here in Germany.
Congratulations. #nice2 -
The moment of truth when you write "javac name.java" into the console and you are waiting there and thinking "pls no bugs :o" and then it hits you with an error "nooo :(" :D3
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The mechanical team once told me, hey I want this feature on the software - sure it will take approx 1 week. Yea I know, but I want it without any bugs.
WTF?? They sure got some f words from me. 😅1 -
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file ;)......!
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F'ing bugs you find months after deploy that are so big it shouldn't have been missed, yet somehow dozens of eyes missed it.
Damn code gremlins -
Bugs*, why do thou love me as such? Whenever I launch Windows^, thou art there!
* physical living bugs
^ actual glass window2 -
Upper mgmt paying an enterprise software vendor 40k US annually. Told vendor No more me QA'ing for them and 'discovering' obvious bugs. Told them to hire QA person and spring for some automated testing software. Yeah I know I am a nice guy but Enough is enough!2
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Well my expert developer friend asked me why 'bugs' were called 'bugs'....
Personally I told him STFU cause he had to ask such an important question when my headphones were on, nevertheless 'bugs' are getting old now, let's just refer to them as 'problematic, chronic, death causing errors often caused by a stupid typo'4 -
Sing: "110 little bugs in my code,
110 little bugs,
Fixing one bug,
Compiling again
Now there are 121 little bugs in the code"3 -
Chances of getting all the bugs fixed before the demo...
"What do you think Abdul? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?"
1 -
Lesson 1 of developing a project with managers: never make it known that solutions to some bugs are simple. Managers will assume that all bugs are simple and require little thought and effort. Then, when there is a bug for which you have no idea what the solution is just by looking at the issue, they will become upset.1
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Day 4 ? of my personal project yesterday I thought I have it I figured out that I dont ... Today I added 3 bugs
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Given a set of projects, twice the amount of work half the amount of time to do them in. We told management we need more time and more developers. Products are being given to the clients with lots of bugs. Management's response: double the QA team size... We almost have more QA members than Dev members. FFS.
-
So yeah I do work on windows laptop, with multiple remote sessions into windows servers. (deal with it)
I don't like restarting (who does?) so mostly put laptop to sleep. Sometime it bugs out after several cycles and clipboard stops working.
And I sometimes need copying / pasting texts into similar files on multiple servers.
Damn it, because of this bug I developed a mild paranoia in a sense that once i have text in clipboard I do ctrl+a, del in the target file and then paste, just to see visually that I did in fact successfully pasted that shit. -
!rant
So I'm making the system for my University's cafeteria.
Pretty ez and all but THIS FUCKING PAGE, THIS GOD FORSAKEN PAGE JUST BUGS.
I'll elaborate: Basically I have a bunch of pages that bring up some pie charts and a .pdf of earnings, all of them work and they are pretty much cookie cutter so I can re-use the code. But this random one, with the same code, repeats the same entry a couple of times.
And by god have I tried to change every variable, code format and minimal shit. Still doesn't budge.
Guess I'll have a cheeky ciggy break and try to fix it later when I'm not steaming my noggin
Ps: yeah yeah, shitty jpg quality but its the "Busca Unidade" field that just cloned itself 7 more times underneath
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If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process if putting them in
-
Someone else updated a firmware and noticed that its worse than the older? The worst ia when you try to fix it and it broke another thing.
Too many bugs in a release (yes, a "verified" release)4 -
Please Santa, fix all my bugs for Christmas!
(i know it's a lot, i'm also happy if you help me with a half) -
Ah the fun part of linux. Patching all these hardware specific bugs after installing a new system xD Well at least I got rid of all the visible ones so far.
-
Scientific programming.
Showing results to boss.
Boss:
And can you please *make sure* that there are no bugs in your code?1 -
When you're the only one who likes docker in your team and they're still insisting on using WAMP/XAMPP. Fixing docker bugs and trying to make it work. Push! This is war!2
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Friday releases are always a bad idea. The feeling of dread over the weekend seeing all the "bugs" and changes come in put a huge dampener on the weekend mood.
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So when you are fixing bugs you are like exorcist:
you: "tell me by some sign your name!"
bug: (demonic voice babbling)
you: "and the day and hour of your departure!"
you: "The hour of your departure!"
you: "The hour of your departure. CANNOTGETPROPERTYNAMEOFUNDEFINED!" -
Person I am grading labelled “not having bugs” as their website feature... if it wasn’t 2018, I probably would say that’s a standard part of any website or software. Now... at least they’re not passing it off as early access.
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Scope creep is the worst, and it's always last minute which causes bugs, which causes unhappy scope creeping clients.. :-/
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Just fixed a bug I was working on for the last 2 days.. I have set a variable to 1 and everything is working now.
-
I dont care whether you are segmentation fault or stack smashing or free or some other fucking glitch, as long as you are consistent and reproducible irrespective of platform.1
-
Windows Mosquito edition.
I guess they weren't happy with the current bugs and need more...
http://mspoweruser.com/microsoft-re...
1 -
Anyone know any nice code quality tools/bug finders (besides find-bugs) plugins for Intellij IDEA?2
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I find it hilarious that sometimes when i create bug in our app nobody finds out. Even pretty significant bugs. Sometimes i wonder how is it possible. 😅4
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I've come to realise that wrapping var_dump(); in fucking_var_dump(); greatly helps upon those nasty and frustrating bugs.
So whenever I get mad at a bug, I just write fucking_var_dump($this); -
Finished developing the complete clean build of the app by 4am....
And tomorrow, the day of the presentation,
ALL THE BUGS ARE BACK!
Doomed!
Was I dreamin last night ? 🤔 -
Yea we programmers sometimes bitch about errors and bugs but let's be honest that is what keeps this "specie" alive. 😄
-
it's going to be a 'headphones on and don't disturb me' kinda day, fucking bugs and not stable apis and a lot of stories to finish...
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Bugs: These are not bed bugs. For programmer they are a nightmare, to customer we introduce them as a new feature and say, “My software has no bug. It just develops random features.”
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Why is it always the case when you give your cide to QA they find more bugs than you? Even though developers write test cases, why can't we catch them all?4
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I just love when I correct 20 little bugs, and always with that "Ah!! Of course!" feeling, before finding the little ';'...
😅😅 -
I know using Composition is a good way of reusing components. Works like a charm and sends data down the tree like a waterfall.
But in our codebase it's applied to bugs. Fix one, get two more, fix two get four more.
I want to cry :'(( -
What do you think about the new Youtube layout?
New Youtube, new bugs.
I reported a bug when it was opt-in and guess what, it's still here: in subscription feed's listed view, scrolling is laggy after loading more items with stepless scrolling (e.g. Chrome w/ touchpad). So many unnecessary animations.
It's just really frustrating when you try to info large company about a bug and they do nothing. The previous ones are also still there...
I guess it's time to reboot my Youtube Data API client project, which I started just for this reason.3 -
Am I the only who's having trouble with the devRant app. Before anyone says to me to send an email about the bugs I've been having, I already did.
I don't know why but sense the last update I'm just finding bug after bug. Is anyone having problem with the app or is it just me?4 -
I know that we all hate bugs, but let's be truthful, if there was no bugs, there was no jobs 😂
You will just have to program one time and then the boss will kick your ass out of the company3 -
Wanna test the level of your patience go solve some bugs in apps(pro level apps).They take the shit out of u .
So our ISP is being dumb. The internet doesn't work and when it does, it does for only 5 mins. They say there'... [read more]