SkillsI'm really good at drinking coffee
Joined devRant on 1/28/2019
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Holy shit. I've been working on a project for the last few months. It's been going fairly well all things considered. We're currently at the tail-end of the project and are set to be dev complete next Friday.
We're on a headless CMS + Gatsby and decided to use a front-end framework (This is important to the story) to "speed development time."
PM comes to me yesterday and inquires about functional/visual QA on IE11. IE-What?! This framework I was told I had to use doesn't support IE11.. like.. at all, and now we need to support IE11, at the ass-end of this project, cause 60% of the traffic on their current site uses IE11? Oh come on!
So its looking like we get to re-write a few components from scratch. Then we get to try and fix the display issues for the other ones... FML, I was looking forward to being done with this so I could take a week off and go recharge before Thanksgiving garbage.1
The cesspool project I've bitched about on here a number of times wrapped up about 8 weeks ago. The code was delivered to the client and they took care of their own hosting needs.
They finally got their new site up and running. It looks great and seems to be really performant. Too bad it is complete garbage under the hood.
1. It pays the bills
2. It pays pretty good
3. I'm typically the best looking dude in the office, so it gives me a great ego boost2
I just finished up an absolute cesspool of a project. I was seriously reconsidering a career change to something less stressful, like welding on a high-rise building, or capturing Somali pirates.
Next project is supposed to be a walk in the park, and probably still will be.
MGR: You're starting a new project next week. Prismic for the CMS, and NextJS.
ME: Oh, okay, cool. Well, let me get up to speed on Prismic and Next since I haven't used either of those.
Spent some time last week - easy enough, nothing really new/ground breaking here.
Sprint 0.5 Kick off meeting today
MGR: By the way, we're still using Prismic for the CMS, but we're gonna go ahead and use Gatsby instead of Next.
Me: ... *facepalm5
Going to completely blow a deadline? I have a solution, but the entire dev team on the project. That'll solve the problem!7
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2
I thought I posted about this awhile back but I didn't. I'm glad since the story is so much better now.
6 weeks ago: Told I'm going to be on a super fun JAMStack build with lots of sexy animations. Sweet, this will be a fun build!
5 weeks ago: Find out what the timeline on this incredibly ambitious project is. I start raising flags cause everything needs to go PERFECT for this to not blow up and/or turn in to a dumpster fire.
4 weeks ago: Project "kicks off" with a meeting with the client. We find out that they've decided to do another round of revisions on their design comps, but we have what we need for sprint 1. We provide a list of all the assets/information we still need for sprint 1 success.
3 weeks ago: Still waiting on some assets for sprint one, but we're fumbling our way through. Still waiting on the PM to get around to doing their PM job and building out our backlog / gathering requirements for us.
2 weeks ago: Sprint 1's end date comes and goes. Still need assets from the client, I've personally asked them for the same asset 3 different times. Sprint 1 gets extended 1 week.
1 week ago: We deliver sprint 1 page templates, minus the resources we're still waiting for. Get chewed out by the client regarding the pages not looking like their comps (Yeah, no shit sherlock, you never sent us the assets)
This week: Working on Sprint 2 commitments. We have 2x as many page templates to deliver, per developer, as we had the first sprint. Still waiting on Sprint 1 assets. Don't have Sprint 2 assets. Wait, what about the global styles? They still haven't sent those to us yet either.
Requirements? Guess I'll spend valuable dev time tracking those down for myself.
Client? Well, they're pissed off we haven't hit our commitments yet.
Oh well, at least we have a pimple faced, fresh out of college, CS major, with no real development experience rolling on to this cesspool of a project.
Other devs? Well, we're out of fucks to give. Lets just watch this thing burn.
Oh, I forgot to add, we have 17 page templates to deliever between today (2/27) and 3/18. #NoFuckingWay
We were forced to do a Friday deploy of a new project. I, smartly, decided to bring my laptop with me on a "couples date". I spent the entire evening trying to fix a screwed up deploy from a restaurant.
Wife was NOT happy.3
Client: The new page template you sent us looks different on production compared to the other pages that use the same component.
Me: Oh, that's strange since the styling is at the component level. Hmm, let me dig in to it.
Start poking around trying to figure out what I managed to screw up only to find that it looks exactly the same on local and staging. Eventually find another style sheet the client is importing on the production site to change some of the styles.
You know, a change that isn't anywhere to be found in the repo, and no one ever asked for anything to be changed. Their "Dev" decided he would hack in a fix instead of shooting me an email.
Apparently he tried changing the SCSS file but the changes weren't showing up. He changed the minified stylesheet but his changes were overwritten on the next deployment..... #howdoesSASSwork?!
Same client as my last rant so I'm not sure why I'm surprised by this. Oh well, I'll take that hourly rate.1
Last week: Build out a landing page and contact form in Pardot. Deliver to client after a quick QA pass through.
Friday: Get nasty message from client via basecamp about how the entire page looks like complete crap. We're also very unprofessional and can't deliver a simple request, while we charge a premium for our services.
So I, wondering what I managed to screw up so horribly, hop on to the test page I sent them. Except, its different and looks like crap.
They edited the page after it was sent to them and are pissed it doesn't match the comps they sent over. So I edit it back - except for the form. The one they added selects and textarea boxes to. Fields they didn't include in their comp and there was no mention of them wanting to use.
Today: Phone call with client. Every single complain they have about the page template they delivered all goes back to one of 3 things.
1. Their designer doesn't know how to use their global styles in his designs. So when things match their global styles (as they specifically asked for) they don't understand why they don't match the comp in a side by side view.
2. They change their mind on a design after the page was built. They won't admit this is the case and want to blame someone else for it not looking the way they want it. You know, "Spirit and Style of their current site"
3. They're idiots.
So now, I put aside a much more fun React project for an Amazon owned grocery chain and work on this nonsense.