No words...

Programming in a nutshell

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

The everyday software development process:

I can’t fix this!

Crisis of confidence 😕
Questions career 😳
Questions life 😩

...oh it was a typo, cool 😆 🙌

So I barely get home and I see my 10 year old sister in the living room coding with the Xcode Playground, I asked her where she learned how to do that and she said "I just read the books you had." I'm so proud. 😭🤘🏼

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

try {
// code that will someday
// throw an exception. Today is
// not that day.
}
catch(Exception ex) {
// The big day has arrived! BUT...
// I'm a heartless bastard who
// does not log errors.
// Good luck finding me!
}

When your boss gives you a new project on top of what you are working on any tells you that you'll have to do it in off hours...at least I get OT

My-Ass-QL

alway remember to backup

* Doesn't want to waste time eating when trying to fix an issue that's wasted most of the day so takes lunch later .. then fixes issue in five minutes as soon as food has been consumed *