• Manager : WTF did you push, now it keeps crashing all the servers.

• Me : (silent, I'm trying to speak but nothing is coming out. Felt like someone in coma).

• Someone else shouts at boss : Now we now have 47 major crisis bridges​.

[I went running for the door to get away from everything.]

Only to find myself rolling on the floor tangled in my bedsheets after falling from my bed. Realized it was all but a nightmare.

Went to get some water. While taking the first sip...
Me: Shit, I'm late for work AGAIN.

Running for the door again. Then stopped to think if this is all some fuckin premonition. Hurriedly went for my phone to find out it's nothing but Sunday.

I'm thinking about a career switch now. No more devops once this is over.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......

C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.

Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.

Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

So this was a couple years ago now. Aside from doing software development, I also do nearly all the other IT related stuff for the company, as well as specialize in the installation and implementation of electrical data acquisition systems - primarily amperage and voltage meters. I also wrote the software that communicates with this equipment and monitors the incoming and outgoing voltage and current and alerts various people if there's a problem.

Anyway, all of this equipment is installed into a trailer that goes onto a semi-truck as it's a portable power distribution system.

One time, the computer in one of these systems (we'll call it system 5) had gotten fried and needed replaced. It was a very busy week for me, so I had pulled the fried computer out without immediately replacing it with a working system. A few days later, system 5 leaves to go work on one of our biggest shows of the year - the Academy Awards. We make well over a million dollars from just this one show.

Come the morning of show day, the CEO of the company is in system 5 (it was on a Sunday, my day off) and went to set up the data acquisition software to get the system ready to go, and finds there is no computer. I promptly get a phone call with lots of swearing and threats to my job. Let me tell you, I was sweating bullets.

After the phone call, I decided I needed to try and save my job. The CEO hadn't told me to do anything, but I went to work, grabbed an old Windows XP laptop that was gathering dust and installed my software on it. I then had to build the configuration file that is specific to system 5 from memory. Each meter speaks the ModBus over TCP/IP protocol, and thus each meter as a different bus id. Fortunately, I'm pretty anal about this and tend to follow a specific method of id numbering.

Once I got the configuration file done and tested the software to see if it would even run properly on Windows XP (it did!), I called the CEO back and told him I had a laptop ready to go for system 5. I drove out to Hollywood and the CFO (who was there with the CEO) had to walk about a mile out of the security zone to meet me and pick up the laptop.

I told her I put a fresh install of the data acquisition software on the laptop and it's already configured for system 5 - it *should* just work once you plug it in.

I didn't get any phone calls after dropping off the laptop, so I called the CFO once I got home and asked her if everything was working okay. She told me it worked flawlessly - it was Plug 'n Play so to speak. She even said she was impressed, she thought she'd have to call me to iron out one or two configuration issues to get it talking to the meters.

All in all, crisis averted! At work on Monday, my supervisor told me that my name was Mud that day (by the CEO), but I still work here!

Here's a picture of the inside of system 8 (similar to system 5 - same hardware)

Not only in my work, but in my life.

My biggest inspiration is the popcorn seller that patiently stays outside the subway exit, standing, every fucking day, from 4-5pm until 0-2am.

He stays until after the subway closes, and only leaves after everyone waiting for their Uber or their ride do.

In the rainiest day of the year, he was there.
In the coldest day of the year, he was there.
In the worst crisis of our country in the last decades, the region became temporarily infested by bandits and beggars. Sometimes I had to work overtime until 11:30pm and I had to be very cautious with all the robbers in the empty dark street. But guess who was there, sometimes calmly saying "get out, go work" to the bad elements bothering him?

I find it reallybfunny and refreshing when everyone is inside waiting for the rain to settle down, while he is standing in the middle of it. Or when I'm coming home really late, and he is still out there freezing cold.
There is no excuse for not doing your best. Life sucks sometimes, but there are no excuses. Just work hard, and laugh at the bad times.
Every time I saw him there, I thought "my day was hard, but I could've worked even harder". At the same time he made me feel better for having a better job, he inspired me not to bitch about any little things.

Then you might ask: "isn't he dumb to stay until 2am even though he is probably not getting any costumers after 11pm?" or "how can someone so unsuccessful be so inspiring?"

Well, I don't know. He just is.
Do almighty, genious people like Steve Jobs inspire me at work? Of course. More than this man? Certainly not.

The everyday software development process:

I can’t fix this!

Crisis of confidence 😕
Questions career 😳
Questions life 😩

...oh it was a typo, cool 😆 🙌

Alright wikipedia, i see that you're in a crisis, but I just send 5€ your way. That should not be the fucking signal to unleash popup hell on me. Fucking 4 out of 5 pages now come with that popup. "if rveryone woukd just send $2..."

BITCH I SEND YOU 5€, STOP DEEPTHROATING ME YOUR UNGRATEFUL COCK

Bug emerges

Print a bunch of stuff

Breakpoints

Crisis of confidence

Research obscure fundamentals of the language

See typo

Fuck.

Does anyone else experience the excess knowledge crisis? Wherein you realise that there is so much knowledge out there that you don't know where to start, and the moment you start, you realise there is something new to learn and you instantly get distracted.

Which are the most frequent for you? Mine is : 2, 3, 4 😂

Apparently Stackoverflow was down recently. I think I missed it, because I was busy reading homemade documentation and having multiple existential crisis over the performance of my code.
Mondays

Two years ago I moved to Dublin with my wife (we met on tour while we were both working in music) as visa laws in the UK didn’t allow me to support the visa of a Russian national on a freelance artists salary.

After we came to Dublin I was playing a lot to pay rent (major rental crisis here), I play(ed) Double Bass which is a physically intensive instrument and through overworking caused a long term injury to my forearm which prevents me playing.

Luckily my wife was able to start working in Community Operations for the big tech companies here (not an amazing job and I want her to be able to stop).

Anyway, I was a bit stuck with what step to take next as my entire career had been driven by the passion to master an art that I was very committed to. It gave me joy and meaning.

I was working as hard as I could with a clear vision but no clear path available to get there, then by chance the opportunity came to study a Higher Diploma qualification in Data Science/Analysis (I have some experience handling music licensing for tech startups and an MA with components in music analysis, which I spun into a narrative). Seemed like a ‘smart’ thing to do to do pick up a ‘respectable’ qualification, if I can’t play any more.

The programme had a strong programming element and I really enjoyed that part. The heavy statistics/algebra element was difficult but as my Python programming improved, I was able to write and utilise codebase to streamline the work, and I started to pull ahead of the class. I put in more and more time to programming and studied personally far beyond the requirements of the programme (scored some of the highest academic grades I’ve ever achieved). I picked up a confident level of Bash, SQL, Cypher (Neo4j), proficiency with libraries like pandas, scikit-learn as well as R things like ggplot. I’m almost at the end of the course now and I’m currently lecturing evening classes at the university as a paid professional, teaching Graph Database theory and implementation of Neo4j using Python. I’m co-writing a thesis on Machine Learning in The Creative Process (with faculty members) to be published by the institute. My confidence in programming grew and grew and with that platform to lift me, I pulled away from the class further and further.

I felt lost for a while, but I’ve found my new passion. I feel the drive to master the craft, the desire to create, to refine and to explore.

I’m going to write a Thesis with a strong focus on programmatic implementation and then try and take a programming related position and build from there. I’m excited to become a professional in this field. It might take time and not be easy, but I’ve already mastered one craft in life to the highest levels of expertise (and tutored it for almost 10 years). I’m 30 now and no expert (yet), but am well beyond beginner. I know how to learn and self study effectively.

The future is exciting and I’ve discovered my new art! (I’m also performing live these days with ‘TidalCycles’! (Haskell pattern syntax for music performance).

Hey all! I’m new on devRant!

Insecure... My laptop disk is encrypted, but I'm using a fairly weak password. 🤔

Oh, you mean psychological.

Working at a startup in crisis time. Might lose my job if the company goes under.

I'm a Tech lead, Senior Backender, DB admin, Debugger, Solutions Architect, PR reviewer.

In practice, that means zero portfolio. Truth be told, I can sniff out issues with your code, but can't code features for shit. I really just don't have the patience to actually BUILD things.

I'm pretty much the town fool who angrily yells at managers for being dumb, rolls his eyes when he finds hacky code, then disappears into his cave to repair and refactor the mess other people made.

I totally suck at interviews, unless the interviewer really loves comparing Haskell's & Rust's type systems, or something equally useless.

I'm grumpy, hedonistic and brutally straight forward. Some coworkers call me "refreshing" and "direct but reasonable", others "barely tolerable" or even "fundamentally unlikable".

I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just messing with me, but by noon I'm either too deep into code, or too much under influence of cognac & LSD, wearing too little clothing, having interesting conversations WITH instead of AT the coffee machine, to still care about what other humans think.

There have been moments where I coded for 72 hours straight to fix a severe issue, and I would take a bullet to save this company from going under... But there have also been days where I called my boss a "A malicious tumor, slowly infecting all departments and draining the life out of the company with his cancerous ideas" — to his face.

I count myself lucky to still have a very well paying job, where many others are struggling to pay bills or have lost their income completely.

But I realize I'm really not that easy to work with... Over time, I've recruited a team of compatible psychopaths and misfits, from a Ukranian ex-military explosives expert & brilliant DB admin to a Nigerian crossfitting gay autist devops weeb, to a tiny alcoholic French machine learning fanatic, to the paranoid "how much keef is there in my beard" architecture lead who is convinced covid-19 is linked to the disappearance of MH370 and looks like he bathes in pig manure.

So... I would really hate to ever have to look for a new employer.

I would really hate to ever lose my protective human meat shield... I mean, my "team".

I feel like, despite having worked to get my Karma deep into the red by calling people all kinds of rude things, things are really quite sweet for me.

I'm fucking terrified that this peak could be temporary, that there's a giant ravine waiting for me, to remind me that life is a ruthless bitch and that all the good things were totally undeserved.

Ah well, might as well stay in character...

*taunts fate with a raised middlefinger*

I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.

A memorial for my favorite rant of all time "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......

C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.

Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.

Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

Some motivation for the developers who had a series of existential crises trying to decipher a convoluted codebase with zero documentation.

!rant but I am confused a bit..

The software development process

i can’t fix this

*crisis of confidence*
*questions career*
*questions life*

oh it was a typo, cool

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

Everyone is posting jokes about GitLab recent incident and how the guys responsible for that must be feeling right now.
Shit happens, sometimes it's you accidentally deleting a branch on your repo and turning that into a major crisis, sometimes is a huge mistake that impacts not only the whole company business, but also it's clients work.

This situation reminds me of a famous quote from Thomas J. Watson (ex lBM CEO):

"Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000. No, I replied, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience"

Those guys at GitLab have probably learned one of the most expensive lessons in IT world and I really wish them to come up with a solution that not only fixes this case, but that helps them preventing future occurrences.

Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.

I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.

Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.

Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.

Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.

Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.

Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.

If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:

if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.

That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!

Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.

The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.

The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!

It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.

But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.

I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.

The whole thing is a fail.

Applies to dev work too..

All I wanted to do was read up on cassandra and the first two paragraphs gave me existential crisis.

Its never a good idea to let 2 bots have a conversation on Discord...

i think they have some kind of relationship crisis idk.

The software development process.

I can't fix this.

*Crisis of confidence*
*Questions career*
*Questions life*

Oh it was a typo, cool.

"During this crisis, we all need to stand together. We're contributing by providing 50% off domain registrations"

"Important COVID-19 update: Social distancing is a must. Free shipping on all dildos and vibrators"

Pandemic-themed marketing emails... 😩

Okay, here we go...

I need a new Programming language.

Coming from a Python background, so go easy on me. x.x

C# can do what I need, but it's quite complex for me. I'd rather something simplier is possible.

Brief summery:
So, I've come to realize that I wont be able to make my Python game(ExitCode) as powerful and fancy as I'd like. And I decided that I should just start from scratch before I go any farther. (Though, I might go ahead and stabilize the current versions on GitHub)

Here's what I need:

Powerful UI support;
* I am re-creating an OS as my game. I will need to drag and position windows and icons in-game, as you would in a real OS.
* Needs to support Ads, Animations, Images, Videos, Sound, and any other media I might need?
* Preferably can render HTML & CSS (Though, this is just a preference)

Support for reading JSON and/or XML files SAFELY (XML had major vulnerabilities in Python)

Supports Windows, but I would prefer cross-platform-ability

Easy to compile

I am not really looking for a game ENGINE. I am looking for a language to create a game in from scratch, that has powerful UI libraries.

In the end, the game will be Free, and Open Source. (Always!~)

I'm having a Linux crisis... Do I reinstall arch linux and fix some of the mistakes I made... Or do I go back to the warm comforting boosum that is Ubuntu...

Found this while googling an error...

It identifies as an easter-egg therefor it is an easter-egg, so don't you dare egg shame me!

😁 It's not much but i'll take it 😂

I'm starting to like the crisis. Not only that I have home office, I'm also in for reduced working time. 3.5 days per week from next month on, and the state will fund 60% of the pay loss. Yeah!

I had a few girlfriends in the past and now am married for 4 years and can't remember any gfs before the married life. Ever had a pre-identity crisis?

My mind: "WHO THE F&*! WAS I? WHAT DID I DO? ITS LIKE TOTAL RECON AND AMNESIA ALTOGETHER!!"

When your websites start returning 502 errors all of a sudden and you can't figure out why. Clear PHP artisan cache, restart Nginx, make sure PHP-FPM is running. Still 502 errors. Then you find out Cloudflare is down. 😐😐😐

This was me last night.

This is fine.

The whole point of having a daily scrum is to let your team know about the progress you've made from last day and what you'd be needing to stick to the sprint plan.

So ideally everyone has 30-60 seconds to give a gist of their activities. And a small scrum team would be productive because everybody is on the same page.

Our scrum meetings usually wait for all of us to assemble with our coffees and donuts, sit down, joke, and then agonizingly go over everybody's existential crisis as a developer because of the task they've been assigned to has too many dependencies. And this happens every single fucking day! These "scrum" meetings tend to go for 1 hour. FML!

===Development Crisis===
(~˘▾˘)~ Lazy Mode: On

a) Rewrite 100 lines of complex code to over 300 lines to hopefully solve issue.

OR

b) Use depreciated legacy module to solve problem instantly.

Decisions, decisions....

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So yesterday ended with me becoming a first responder in front of my house. Talk about a crazy day.

Guy sped up down my very short dead-end road and flipped a school van down the embankment. Thankfully there were no kids in the van and the driver was okay.

I've never had to run into the scene of an accident before, and what the brain does in a time of crisis like that is absolutely amazing.

Feeling everything but the immediate need drain away. It was like time was slowed. I took in all the information of the scene and somehow worked fast while also double-checking every action I did.

I remember hesitating for a moment, worried about what I'd see. School students on the back. Would I see injured or dead children? Body parts? I remember saying "Fuck it" and running down the embankment and that was about it.

So serious props to any of you who read this that also volunteer as EMT or fire/rescue. I've long considered doing that myself and I may very well step up now that I've had first-hand experience.

And now for the requisite joke: Usually I only have to help out when Windows crashes. :)

Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.

My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.

Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.

I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.

There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.

You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.

Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.

Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S

Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.

Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.

"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"

"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"

We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.

Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."

Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.

There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.

TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.

Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.

It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.

My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.

*THE END*

If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.

Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.

Exactly at the char limit

Scala is like the teenage child of Java and Python having an identity crisis.

Well,
I have hit a new low...

If u don’t know, I love C language... have been using it for a while now...

But today, my brain is under a meltdown... I can’t freaking write a simple pointer based program....
WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!

College is killing me ☹️☹️😭😭

I sometimes feel like some people's comments on devrant are enough for a mental health crisis diagnosis. I wonder, how can we diagnose people through text? And can, let's say, ML do any better.

I mean; let's say for example abusive behaviors. This may be an online community but that doesn't stop some from abusing others, right? But the only form of communication here is text, right? What if you could diagnose... Not even that. What if you could inform a mental health expert about a toxic behavior online? We do have a lot of "internet policing" but we have no "internet mental health help" for toxic behaviors and attempts to mitigate that. I don't mean banning people. I mean literally in simplest form tag a psychotherapist in the convo.

Just thinking. :)

Fuck it, i live in lebanon.

- Launch the new version of the system I have been refactoring for 2 years and counting, then ceremoniously burn (literally) the legacy code as well as the cluster fuck of hardware it runs on.

- Decrease my stress + bus factor by bringing another up to speed on my code & the new version (his cluster fuck now).

- Pay attention to & take better care of health, my wrists in patricular.

- Find a mentor and mentor someone else.

- Get out of crisis management mode and find the time to write tuts, experiment and live a little.

- Find & join a local dev meetup, maybe make a local dev friend.

- Book leave and actually take it, preferabbly without having to take my laptop to the beach - actually, preferabbly at least have the choice to take a offline vacation.

- Sort through the drives containing ALL the code I have ever written, migrate the usefull interesting bits to Github.

Phew, that bit of self reflection was intense! I'm adding a cron to my server to sms & email me this rant in a year to remind me what hope looks like.

Get ready for a awesome conspiracy theory/ WhatsApp forward :D i like how people are coming with new stuff every minute of their boredom . Makes you ponder:

====================================

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

How to dominate the world quickly?

THE GREAT CHINESE STAGE

1. Create a virus and the antidote.

2. Spread the virus.

3. A demonstration of efficiency, building hospitals in a few days. After all, you were already prepared, with the projects, ordering the equipment, hiring the labor, the water and sewage network, the prefabricated building materials and stocked in an impressive volume.

4. Cause chaos in the world, starting with Europe.

5. Quickly plaster the economy of dozens of countries.

6. Stop production lines in factories in other countries.

7. Cause stock markets to fall and buy companies at a bargain price.

8. Quickly control the epidemic in your country. After all, you were already prepared.

9. Lower the price of commodities, including the price of oil you buy on a large scale.

10. Get back to producing quickly while the world is at a standstill. Buy what you negotiated cheaply in the crisis and sell more expensive what is lacking in countries that have paralyzed their industries.

After all, you read more Confucius than Karl Marx.

PS: Before laughing, read the book by Chinese colonels Qiao Liang and Wang Xiangsui, from 1999, “Unrestricted Warfare: China’s master plan to destroy America”, on Amazon, then we talk. It's all there.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Worth pondering..
Just Think about this...

How come Russia & North Korea are totally free of Covid- 19? Because they are staunch ally of China. Not a single case reported from this 2 countries. On the other hand South Korea / United Kingdom / Italy / Spain and Asia are severely hit. How come Wuhan is suddenly free from the deadly virus?

China will say that their drastic initial measures they took was very stern and Wuhan was locked down to contain the spread to other areas. I am sure they are using the Anti dode of the virus.

Why Beijing was not hit? Why only Wuhan? Kind of interesting to ponder upon.. right? Well ..Wuhan is open for business now. America and all the above mentioned countries are devastated financially. Soon American economy will collapse as planned by China. China knows it CANNOT defeat America militarily as USA is at present

THE MOST POWERFUL country in the world. So use the virus...to cripple the economy and paralyse the nation and its Defense capabilities. I'm sure Nancy Pelosi got a part in this. . to topple Trump. Lately President Trump was always telling of how GREAT American economy was improving in all fronts. The only way to destroy his vision of making AMERICA GREAT AGAIN is to create an economic havoc. Nancy Pelosi was unable to bring down Trump thru impeachment. ....so work along with China to destroy Trump by releasing a virus. Wuhan,s epidemic was a showcase. At the peak of the virus epidemic. ..

China's President Xi Jinping...just wore a simple RM1 facemask to visit those effected areas. As President he should be covered from head to toe.....but it was not the case. He was already injected to resist any harm from the virus....that means a cure was already in place before the virus was released.

Some may ask....Bill Gates already predicted the outbreak in 2015...so the chinese agenda cannot be true. The answer is. ..YES...Bill Gates did predict. .but that prediction is based on a genuine virus outbreak. Now China is also telling that the virus was predicted well in advance. ....so that its agenda would play along well to match that prediction. China,s vision is to control the World economy by buying up stocks now from countries facing the brink of severe ECONOMIC COLLAPSE. Later China will announce that their Medical Researchers have found a cure to destroy the virus. Now China have other countries stocks in their arsenal and these countries will soon be slave to their master...CHINA.

Just Think about it ...
The Doctor Who declared this virus was also Silenced by the Chinese Authorities...

"Some of the best code is written in the early hours of the morning, mid-coffee binge. " ~ Abraham Lincoln

Have you ever had the moment when you were left speechless because a software system was so fucked up and you just sat there and didn't know how to grasp it? I've seen some pretty bad code, products and services but yesterday I got to the next level.

A little background: I live in Europe and we have GDPR so we are required by law to protect our customer data. We need quite a bit to fulfill our services and it is stored in our ERP system which is developed by another company.

My job is to develop services that interact with that system and they provided me with a REST service to achieve that. Since I know how sensitive that data is, I took extra good care of how I processed the data, stored secrets and so on.

Yesterday, when I was developing a new feature, my first WTF moment happened: I was able to see the passwords of every user - in CLEAR TEXT!!

I sat there and was just shocked: We trust you with our most valuable data and you can't even hash our fuckn passwords?

But that was not the end: After I grabbed a coffee and digested what I just saw, I continued to think: OK, I'm logged in with my user and I have pretty massive rights to the system. Since I now knew all the passwords of my colleagues, I could just try it with a different account and see if that works out too.

I found a nice user "test" (guess the password), logged on to the service and tried the same query again. With the same result. You can guess how mad I was - I immediately changed my password to a pretty hard.

And it didn't even end there because obviously user "test" also had full write access to the system and was probably very happy when I made him admin before deleting him on his own credentials.

It never happened to me - I just sat there and didn't know if I should laugh or cry, I even had a small existential crisis because why the fuck do I put any effort in it when the people who are supposed to put a lot of effort in it don't give a shit?

It took them half a day to fix the security issues but now I have 0 trust in the company and the people working for it.
So why - if it only takes you half a day to do the job you are supposed (and requires by law) to do - would you just not do it? Because I was already mildly annoyed of your 2+ months delay at the initial setup (and had to break my own promises to my boss)?

By sharing this story, I want to encourage everyone to have a little thought on the consequences that bad software can have on your company, your customers and your fellow devs who have to use your services.
I'm not a security guy but I guess every developer should have a basic understanding of security, especially in a GDPR area.

!rant

I know it's not that impressive in the dev world, but I'm finally making six figures (the lowest six figure value possible but STILL) and I can't really brag to my friends about dollar amounts so HURRAH. Accepted the offer yesterday, and I'm quite pleased about it.

Annoyed that it took so long (I'm 29), but I did have a two year long career break for a family medical issue/travel/quarter life crisis, so so it goes.

Always get into a slight existential crisis during this time of winter.

Is my job worth all the trouble? Should I sell my house? Break up with my love? Start using a different programming language?

Probably has something to do with the psychological effect of this arbitrary point where we consider a year to end, and begin a new one.

I have no idea yet. I think my job is the first one to go, the rest is probably salvageable.

Ugh, I hate this stupid F*!

There's this new guy who's much older and thinks he's a such a f'ing hotshot that he undermines everything I worked on to drop in some a** backwards BS. Luckily I don't have to work with him often, only one day a week - else I would go nuts! He constantly name drops this same company, with little disregard for others younger than him.
Bitch, I'm close to 20 years younger than you and yet I've worked for a much longer list of much more respected companies. I've worked with legal teams on intellectual property, ran my own business, and have multiple patents. Did you ask me once my background? No, because your a selfish prick and an asshole. That's why you're likely in a mid life crisis, single, and alone. Fuck you!

I put my fingers into MY EYESSSSS.

I was losing my mind a bit because of that stupid task that keeps unraveling so I typed a part of the lyrics of some random song that came to mind. Sent it to a group chat where people are actively talking about random shit.

Just that one line, someone sang along, and now they're fighting about the artist, albums, concerts, and some musical existential crisis whatever the fuck that is. Then I left the group chat. Lol.

I am now sitting in my apartment lobby after rushing home this morning because of a FedEx Delivery.

They said they can't get access to the building then how the fuck did this FedEx package get in between when I got back and when I came down?

Now they said there are different trucks... And my service could come later today.

It wasn't even supposed to come today but I guess maybe that's good since I took today off anyway...

Now I'm just stake out here all day and if it's not here..... Im going to aim to make FedEx the next Facebook or Panama Paper PR crisis

Going into uni, the first thing I did (like many others) was to join an on campus organization (club/group). I made the choice of joining my unis publication. Little did I know 2 years ago that I had just joined the top most student magazine in this country. (Literally).
Honestly, I was excited. I was the first web developer that qualified that year, and within a year I was able to claim my position as the senior developer. It had been an uphill climb all the way, I was able to redesign the entire website and implement an insane amount of features as well as add both iOS and Android apps to the list of things I had done in a year.

I had loved everything I did, only when I was given my new position as senior dev did I see the reality of being in this magazine.. it's in total chaos. Every year we elect new editorial members (as old ones graduate) however the new ones have no idea how to run the magazine, they have literally declared that were in crisis mode. Being in an art school were all about creativity, and honestly, there is nothing creative about our magazine anymore.

Suddenly after two years I feel that my work no longer matters to them anymore. I have thought about quiting a million times now but they would take away my grant if I did (we get a subsidy for working for the magazine). I have two more years and I feel like absolute shit being in this magazine, my work is never credited and I am never mentioned either! While I am the reason they have a face on the internet, they never once have credited me. I don't feel like I belong in the team anymore. I feel like they only have me there is because they can't find a replacement nearly as good. (I'm sorry but I consider myself the best.)

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

Architect: "Inline sql is just as performant as a stored procedure and since it is in code its safer and easier to maintain."

Me, inside my head: "I bet I could do the pencil trick on him from 'The Dark Knight' and it wouldn't hurt him as much as suck the world into the small hole in the front of his head since it is clearly a vacuum which was meant to destroy the earth. This is an obvious plant by the lizard people as a test to see if we could identify them. Killing him would be a..."

Architect: "I mean isn't it still a best practice."

Me, out loud and deadpan: "No, that is wrong and it was never a best practice. "

Me, inside my head: "Crisis averted."

I'm in a midlife crisis.

TL;DR: Trying to make a living by teaching people how to code.

I've started a business in my local town where people can join to learn more about programming. Currently most events are free and everyone can join, I spend many hours creating these events and get little in return.

Many people have asked so how can you make money on this? My answer is by having 1-2 days of intensive workshops. The issue however is if I would have one of these, I'm 100% sure that nobody will attend, so for that reason my goal is to run these free events and get as many members as possible until I have some serious buyers that want to pay for the workshops.

I'm kinda stuck in the mud. Don't know where to start, or how to go with these workshops so I can get payed. It sounds like I only care about money, but that is not the case, I love to teach and want to make a living from it.

At this moment, it feels like I'm giving away free knowledge without getting anything back... But at the same time, I feel I must in order to gain some traffic/interest for my company.

I would love some feedback of what strategy works best, how can I go from free to payed, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Anyone else ever been through an identity crisis? This shit is intense. For the first time in over a decade I'm questioning who I really am and how to be happy while interacting with the world around me.

I used to not give a fuck what people thought about me, my semi-haggard appearance was just part of my persona, but as time marched on and my hair got longer, I get nothing but shitty looks from people 40+. I feel like nobody takes me seriously anymore. I'm honestly debating just chopping off most of my hair and dressing nicer, essentially 'growing up'. Just kind of rolling over and blending in with everyone else. "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." - I'm tired of getting hammered. I just want to retreat to my quiet little corner of newfound adulthood.

So I need your advice guys. Our team is in crisis mode right now because of a vendor's attempt to extort money out of us. So for the next 6 months I am going to be taken off development and made to do sysadmin work...which I hate.

There is another team at work that was trying to woo me over to their team, working in security...which I love.

So would it be a dick move to leave my struggling team that is trying to use a hammer as a screwdriver and do what makes me happy? Or should I be a good person and do work that makes me miserable and go home and drink every night instead?

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time 10 years and tell the coder-wannabe I were back then to choose something else to do for a living, like being a carpenter or something like that.

Sure, the money is good, and the job is super comfy (working from the bed is awesome), but dude, the stress of corporate client-crisis caused by poor management bullshit 9-5 is going to kill me.
How you deal with this fucking toxic environment? There are some alternatives to this? I love to code, a lot, but lately I'm wishing it was just a hobby.

Most people's corona panic reaction: Buy toilette paper. Because in a crisis we want to have enough toilette paper.

My corona panic reaction: Buy a car. Just bought one. Half a year earlier than I actually planned to have a car but if corona forces me to take the long and arduous journey from the city to the countryside where my parents live, I want to be ready.

Now that I have a car, I might quit on the home office and return to the office again. Less distraction. No one will be there but me.

I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.

Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.

Anybody else felt a pressing why crisis leading to procrastination, a sense of impending doom, and and constant failures or feelings of failure.

Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?

Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.

So, I'm supposed to do a project in Haskell that is due next week. It's a group project and it's me and 2 colleagues. Unfortunatelly one of them had to drop college because of some personal problems. I feel bad for him.
The thing is, the other one has no clue what Haskell is. I mean, he has no clue how programming is. He doesn't even know what an array is, like, wtf.
Sure, I can do the work all by myself and take the credits for it. But he's a nice guy and has been asking me to teach him Haskell in my spare time. He even told me to tell the teacher I did the project all by myself.
I'm kind in the middle of an existencial crisis. What should I do?
Life sucks, dam.

This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...

I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)

So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...

Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...

So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?

(Sorry for the long post :/ )

Is coffee overrated?

15years into engineering and suddenly imposter syndrome symptoms. Anyone else?

This climate crisis is slowly getting into my head guys😠. The shit bolsanaro and all other govs are doing is effecting my mojo.

I am working here and trying to do my best to deliver quality code while i must fight the feeling that ppl are betraying me (the govs). Its not my job to remind them of not fucking us over. I try to help by not becoming a criminal and getting forward with my life. Wtf is wrong with those in charge of govs?! On any project if you ignore the signs, u'll end up in refactoring hell or the project just dies. Getting out takes serious commitment.
Is everyone just gone crazy?

Here we all will get fucked, if we fail with project earth. 🤬😖👿

Not finding answer in Stack Overflow is like searching for beer in fridge and later on knowing that whole city is going through water crisis.

Software Development Process

0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool

*Not my original content, but it made me smile and I need one more point on this uncomfortably hot day

My (junior) colleague gives me an existential crisis as he builds a fabric.js clone from scratch up in very little time.

Then he tells me he forgot his 4 digit bank pin he's be using for 7 years.

How I got started part 2:

Thanks for all of the +1. True story...

I want to say something to those who are new, or not confident, or think that they are not smart enough, or can't afford to learn.

Everything I learned in college, everything that I do in my job, every tool that I use, I can get online for free. It is up to you to aspire. I make 6 figures. Go get it!

I survived the dotcom bubble, September eleventh and the financial crisis of 2008. My passion for my profession gotten me through the tough times.

Read. Study multiple subjects besides tech (especially business and visual design). Be a jack of all trades and a master of some.

Anybody having trouble with work VPNs during the health crisis? I can't imagine most have ever had this kind of test before.

When your college gets a gitlab server and a dozen or so people who know what it is are excited, but you're the only one who knows about the crisis that happened with gitlab, so have to just stand and stare as they tell everyone how gitlab is secure and risk free.

My current job is too easy.

I know that's a weird rant, but after years of crisis deadlines and constant struggling pressure it's really relaxing to be able to build at a sane and professional pace.

...but I'm afraid it's ruining me. I don't know if I could go back to literally any of the other types of companies I've worked for. I'm going soft

Startuppers, hold in there. We are going to fall one by one but remember our field is strong and full of opportunities.

The first domino has fallen at my place and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

!rant

You know, I sort of hope that open-plan offices become illegal after this Corona crisis.

We all know most companies don't give a flying fuck about the productivity, opinion or wellbeing of their "lowly work force". OTOH maybe, just maybe, do politicians care about lowering the risk of such a pandemic repeating. Pass some laws for reasonable working conditions already!

Isn't it curious that most development libraries, frameworks, widgets in an ecosystem see a decrease in popularity when they reach a "no longer under active development"/ maintenance stage (especially exacerbated in the front-end)?

As if we just can't settle on a convention. As if, even for limited-scope solutions, a final stage can never be reached, there must be perpetual growth. As if we must constantly trade a solution for a shinier one, that just might provide us with 2% profit based on a doubtful forecast... or not. Sounds a lot like the investment capitalism that resulted in the 2008 subprime crisis. Not sure what to make of this thought but

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Well, I posted this rant a few days ago where I was expressing my desires to get a job as a Software Developer... Here I am again re-posting.

________________________________

FFS! Can I get a remote job as soft-dev?? I know a little bit of java, I mean I have a GitHub repo for a project if anyone wants to see what I'm doing.

If anyone knows or feel that can help me, please lend me a hand, I need to start working (to get real experience) and earn a little (prevent from starving in this fucking shithole country).

I'm not asking for money, I'm asking for a freaking job, a task, anything.

Little brief of my situation... I'm from Venezuela... Done!

Now for real, I'm a freelancer IT technician for almost 8 yrs, now I'm studying software engineering (8th Semester), I'm 31 years old, have a family (7 yrs old daughter, newborn baby boy), work is not flowing since the hourly price got high due to the economic crisis and clients are hiring people instead of outsourcing.

I'm not expecting to earn the minimum wage of UUSS, 150$/month can do the job! This due to the black market price of the USD (10X.000BsF so far), where 1$ represents the 1/8 part of the minimum wage here, to put it in perspective, toothpaste cost 200.000Bsf, 1/4 of the minimum wage.

Perhaps you will be asking yourself "Damn! so how do you do to survive!?" well, at least once a week a client calls and that saves the entire week, this isn't life my people, this is surviving... And if you don't believe me, I can show a receipt from the supermarket, and show you the average salary or my incomings.

Anyway enough drama and whining for today, I'm not doing this again in my life, I'm a person who achieves goals and earns what deserve (even this situation, I know that I deserve it for not thinking properly in the past, but we can't be victims of our past or do we?)

Today I was minding my own coding-committing-pushing business, when all of a sudden, a split second before typing Enter on a command, the obnoxious UPDATE JAVA popup reared it's ugly head.

Normally I just politely recommend it to fuck off and let me manage my Java versions with homebrew on my own time. But I had no time to not press Enter, and so it rapidly started downloading/installing.

Thankfully I had juuust enough time to hit the cancel button. The progress bar it was showing stopped at 81%. Didn't even have time to read what it said. Crisis averted. Them NSA fucks be like, "curses, foiled again!"

This was probably the most intense moment of the year for me. I think my lifespan grew shorter a few months.

Dreaded auto-updates are getting smarter. They nearly got me when I was in a vulnerable state of hitting Enter many times. Stay on your toes!

Which one of you is it that works for Apple or Microsoft and writes the code that tells a computer to slow down, lose its internet connection, freeze, reboot, crash your browser, or generally respond to a request for a website with a friggin' spinning beach ball of death right at the moment of highest productivity or crisis?

So talking about discovering Drone CI turned into existential crisis

what a way to start 2020

Used visual studio's baked in git tools for the first time last night, it felt bizarre pushing to a repo without that momentary existential crisis thinking "oh god am I on the right branch, are these the right commits, did I add the right files, am I in sync with upstream".

Think I'll stick to cli, keeps me on my toes.

I don't like most of the people around me (programmers). I find most of them boring and with a really "flat" personality with no interests other than coding. I enjoy coding myself but sometimes I feel that I don't belong to this community. There is more in life than just your job.

Me - Ooo I've got this idea ! This will fix this "No ones" problem in programming.

(Thinking this will change the programming for everyone)

Starts Coding......

Few minutes later ...Searching stackoverflow for silly syntax errors.

...Finds a 2 years old project from some guy, who already finished working on the idea and answering question as "This is a bullshit idea!, Never try to make something like this."

Me - (Suffering from existential crisis)

Did I get old or did I just finish plucking all the low hanging fruit?

When I started on a programming journey about a decade ago everything feel exciting and I learn a lot of things per day (variable,loop,method,class,---etc)

Now a decade later I am more concern with the overall system design,algorithms usage (Big O Notation),how reliable the system it,and how the configurations are set up and how easy is it to change them.

I now notice that I don't really learn anything learn new.Everything feel the same.

Want redundancy? Use more server

Want faster performance? Make a parallel system.

Want program to run on low end device? Think about how memory and storage will be used in system.

Is this a stage everyone went through like puberty? or I am just having a mid life crisis?

PS : I haven't even reach 30 yet but I feel too old.

Is it normal to not like the projects given to you at work? Don't get me wrong. I bloody love programming but when I get a project that is not interesting, I feel kinda guilty.

Is it weird that I don't wanna live to be hundred, but I'd rather do everything I wanna do as soon as possible?

Sorry to ask something like this here, but my friends are dealing with their own shit and don't wanna bother them.

Apparently I am writing an lyrics for my next song which won't be ever made anytime soon.

"EXISTENCE"

P.S. And yes, I wrote it while developing in Visual Studio

Developers more than other groups tend to hold their operating system or programming language of choice dearly, to the point where if someone thinks poorly of the OS or Language, they take it like a personal attack. Then there are those who think poorly of people who who's a certain OS or a specific language. Combine the two and you get hurt feelings and identity crisis.

Can we all just agree that we're all in different stages of learning and that we all generally end up going the same direction for the same types of problems?

Or just have it out and kill each other over it. Will give me great rant material.

Noooooooooo 😢
What will I do without stack overflow?
....
Oh yeah, *inserts* "cache:"
Crisis averted 😎

The MVP vs MVVM debate is making me have an object oriented crisis.

Whenever there's a crisis I immediately slow down.

Get calm. That has to be step one, as long as it takes. Then (usually) the crisis is actually no big deal and there's a simple solution, but you'll never find that during panic mode.

What if your main telecom provider is down? Can you continue to work, code, take customer orders? Do you have a redundant strategy - and no it can't be going to lunch.

One company was looking for a developer, so they found my FB profile (yeah, Facebook). They scan my profile and contact me via Messenger and offer me a job. At the same time my previous company was in financial crisis and I'm the only staff left, so I felt so bored.

I give them a visit, then, voila, today is my first day there. Despite a bit far from my home, but it have wonderful workplace and apply good development practices. I'm comfortable here thank God. :)

Good Morning Folks!!!

I haven't been posting in a while, besides the fact that I went thru a crazy psychiatric crisis 6 weeks ago, there have not been much news to share here.

Now, recovering and working again luckily, I have to face again the stupid pointy haired boss.

So, this fucker asked me for an estimation to build a simple web app.
He: Hey, can you make an estimation for this app
Me: sure, here it is.
He: *to the client*, here's the estimation for the web app you requested
Client: Uhmm, can I haz desktop for winbug$??
He: Let me check with dev
Me: Sure why not, we can do F# using MVU which is basically the same as using modern web frameworks
He: Sure, I'll tell that to the client.
Client: Oooohhh, C#, we lovez C#, can I haz discount?
He: Client wants discount to make it in C#.
Me: Oh, you can give him a discount to make it in F#, I never said C#
He: But your cv says you used C# ten years ago.
Me: Sure, but is not keeping up with functional design patterns, which is what I do.
He: Ok, so I'm offering him the discount in F#
Me: Great.
He: So, project is approved, thanks for the discount, you have 3 weeks to present the product in C#.
Me: Sure, I'll start when I get the downpayment.

Me: I'm considering saying that I didn't understand that he wanted it in C#, and just do F# and not let him know until the project is done.

Thoughts??

How do you learn to write a backtracking algo without having an existential crisis? I feel like whenever I see a problem that could use backtracking, I’m like “Looks like a case for backtracking!” *writes seven functions to try to piece it apart, gets no closer to solution, dies inside*

I'm good at what I don't want to do for the rest of my life. I don't have much experience in the fields I'm interested in. In final year of engineering. No clear vision for future. Having quarter life crisis.

Is it possible to have an "epistemological bug crisis"? Because i feel like everything I referred to as bugs in my early career weren't true bugs, they were just bad programming or architecture flaws. I feel like real "bugs" are weird issues with the language, compiler, module, etc... that should work one way but work another way. Anyone else had that experience?

This gives rise to the secondary question: who perpetuates the idea that bugs are just "anything wrong with the current codebase"?

Lately I had a motivation crisis, that made me almost quit (passing from programming in C# to Visual (*fucking*) Basic).

But I can't quite quit because of personal reasons, so during a break I went out and eat something sweet like an ice-cream (coffee flavour) to explicitly alter my dry low mood(like alcohol does for many... But strangely I'm immune) and started thinking from scratch, thought that I should stop complaining like a little bitch and instead focus on finishing the project at hand as soon as possible, so I can move on, hopefully, to better projects(most of the other projects in the company are in C#).

So apparently explicitly messing with my brain chemicals and resetting the though on the issue worked for me

What will be your motivation to work without salary? ☹️

Am I evil for hoping an impending crisis, which I have had no role in causing, does not occur until I'm on vacation next week?

Guys. I have to talk about something very important about myself. Cause at the moment i am in a kind of heavy identity crisis. Sometimes i ask myself if am really the one who i think i am or if i am maybe someone else. Sometimes i get really angry because of that and when im about to give up suddenly everything is fine again.

But What would be if my Life is a lie ? If everything is just fake what i have experienced so far and my thoughts are right. ? It seems that real people have a diffrent view of things then me.

Yes of course these a weird thoughts and you may think now oh gosh this guy is nutz but really You have to understand me:

There is no other explaination or at least i dont know any other for the fact that i fail so often googles im not a robot test. i mean it says choose all vehicles and i do so but it says its wrong then it wants the same for trees i do so and its wrong. Then it wants store fronts and i do so and when i about to give up it just suddenly works ? o.O

Im not sure if am really a human or a robot. Im really confused now

Little Joke :) But i hate recaptcha especially when it thinks to be right but it isnt.

When it hits you that as a junior your most impacted by this crisis. CEO sends out an email asking for volunteers to go on furlough, next day manager has a meetimg with all the graduates and says we would like you all to take this. Next thing you worry about is whether or not redundancy. Hard to understand they have recently started the program and it will closing soon without any garduates passing it

Software development process:
0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool

While working with Django Rest Framework, the Post and Delete requests were giving me 403 error. With no help from stack overflow, I decided in vain to check it with Firefox browser instead of Chrome.

IT FUCKING WORKS ON FIREFOX!! HOW THE FUCK??

Things like this are responsible for my mid life crisis.

The biggest crisis occurs to a newbie..

So I ran into a perplexing "issue" today at work and I'm hoping some of you here have had experience with this. I got a story-time from my coworker about the early days of my company's product that I work on and heard about why I was running into so much code that appeared to be written hastily (cause it was). Turns out during the hardware bring-up phase, they were moving so fast they had to turn on all sorts of low level drivers and get them working in the system within a matter of days, just to keep up with the hardware team. Now keep in mind, these aren't "trivial" peripherals like a UART. Apparently the Ethernet driver had a grand total of a week to go from nothing to something communicating. Now, I'm a completely self-taught embedded systems focused software engineer and got to where I am simply cause I freaking love embedded systems. It's the best. BUT, the path I took involved focusing on quality over quantity, simply because I learned very quickly that if I did not take the time to think about what I was doing, I would screw myself over. My entire motto in life is something to the effect of "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it to the best of my abilities." As such, I tend to be one of the more forward thinking engineers on my team despite relative to my very small amount of professional experience (essentially I screwed myself over on my projects waaaay too often in the past years and learned from it). But what I learned today slightly terrifies me and took me aback. I know full well that there is going to come a point in my career where I do not have the time to produce quality code and really think about what I am designing....and yet it STILL has to work. I'm even in the aerospace field where safety is critical! I had not even considered that to be a possibility. Ideally I would like to prepare now so that I can be effective when that time does come...Have any of you been on the other side of this? What was it like? How can I grow now to be better prepared and provide value to my company when those situations come about? I know this is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me, but c'est la vie.

TLDR: I'm personally driven to produce quality code, but heard a horror story today about having to produce tons of safety-critical code in a short time without time for design. Ensue existential crisis. Help! Suggestions for growth?!

Edit: Just so I'm clear, the code base is good. We do extensive testing (for lots of reasons), but it just wasn't up to my "personal standards".

Almost had an existencial crisis for the last two and a half hours because I was trying to fix a bug on the connection of my app, only to discover that it wasn't working properly because I was writing correctly "registerUser.php" on the app, but I messed up in original file and saved as "resisterUser.php".

Always double check you spelling, kids.

If you like IT predictions (or guesstimating), after this covid thing, e-commerce will probably be highly demanded special for small and medium business that are more sensitive to this kind of crisis. Try learning those small framework for e-commerce

I had a fun one for one of myself but then I heard a "technical architect" at my company used the same login and password for a project's production and development databases.

I then had to deal with the crisis of a new dev on that project blowing the entire production database to smithereens because of said decision.

I have been fixing tests all day and some other dev managed to cause merge conflicts, now my branch is in a permanent state of merge after I pushed with force.. I'm done...
This crisis is also hitting our company and don't know what that's means of me as I just joined...

I'm glad it's weekend

Not really a rant, but a question for all of you devs stuck in a really bad company. And I mean 'stuck', as in certain situations that don't allow you to switch jobs at the moment and you have to put up with your job.

What do you tell yourself everyday to go work on something even when your manager doesn't care, your project hits a dead end, the company that you work for is a shit show of a fucking circus, and your career seems bleak from every angle? Have you guys ever had an existential crisis as a dev?

Why there has to be So Many legs to the OAuth....

1 Leg...
2 Legs...
3 Legs... Wtf...

Make it a fkin...Octopus OAuth

Why so many legs to a Dumb API ??!

Depends. If the schedule is busy enough, i try to carry on and focus on simpler, low-effort high-reward tasks so i don't stagnate.

If there is nothing getting burned in the oven i just call it the day and go out or relax with some game/show ^_^

I feel like all this "keep calm and carry on" mindset to solves crisis is just the result of bad micro-management of the society as a whole, but maybe i just get filosophical and anarhist when i'm low on motivation 🤔

Software development process
0:I can't fix this
1:Crisis of confidence
2:Questions career
3:Questions life
4:Oh fuck it was a typo ,chill :3

Hello, devrant! It’s been a while since I last entered this community.
Anyways, I just want to check in with you people to see how’s everyone doing amidst this crisis.
Drop your comment to start this convo 👇🏼

If you had to evacuate your office due to a fire without your laptop and the office was destroyed could you continue to work? Do you have offsite recovery laptops?

Developers usually have flexibility where they can work from but sometimes do not have backup machines available and configured.

As a side question - would your other critical processes - accounting, HR, sales be able to continue to keep your business going in a disaster - or would they be like deer in headlights?

Any of you guys that also faces existential crisis every sprint deadline? Not being able to fullfill PM's expectations is horrible.

!dev Nice surprise... Hopefully...

Been having a lot of teeth problems and need like 2 crowns and 1 filling now... Old fillings just suddenly fell out. My regular dentist plan is ok for cleaning but isn't so good for these expensive treatments. And it seems the dentists in network are sorta so-so... The original fillings were done by them like last year....

Well somehow it popped up into my mind that with COVID.... Given its a health crisis and the govt is bending over backwards to deal with it... it may also let me change insurance plans during the year.

Usually enrollment is once a yr until you change jobs... But when I googled I saw that apparently they did.... Though it's upto the employer and the insurance company. They have to negotiate and allow it. Not required to by law.

So anyway last week, I called up my HR asking if they allow it. The rep said they'd need to ask higher up and get back to me this Monday.

I never got a call though but today I took off to deal with all the health stuff and just take a personal day. So I called my "current" dentist insurance to ask what I needed to do to see a specialist for the root canal crown as regular dentist can't do this one.

But they couldn't find my policy because it turned out it was cancelled last week. At this point I'm likeOK WHO FUCKED UP... WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK... IM UNINSURED NOW?!!!

I login to the company benefits site to get their support #. But it also shows my current plans. Where it shows that it got switched.

I still had to call the new insurance to get my ID info...

But I'm like hm... This seems to have worked out well... Assuming everything goes as planned. Basically got 1/2 year on cheap normal coverage but now that I need it, got to switch to the more expensive coverage, which now comes out better: lower overall costs, and better drs...

Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?

Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."

FUCKING HOW?

What command?

What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.

Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.

Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.

Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.

"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.

The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.

FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC

0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK

50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.

If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).

I’m pretty sure that, during any given week, I spend more time figuring out when I need to charge my phone/laptop/headphones than I do about any other world crisis.

I've recently been promoted and I'm going from hourly to salaried. Amidst this crisis and the promotion I've gotten lost in the big changes and forgot to ask the simple questions.

When tf do I leave work if I'm not tracking my hours anymore? (Or for the near future, log off of work)

I know the general consensus is "when the work is done", but we all know the work is never truly done

Thursday: Realise the data you generated yesterday was useless.
Friday: Accidentally delete all of Thursday's work.
Saturday: Give up and contemplate ones existence...

So, I’m working with Angular now since December. A bit off and on. And there is this app on my plate. And I’m f’n stressed since I don’t know Angular all that well and, things need to get done.

So I try often things by myself and often find myself staring at my screen feeling like I’m to understand Chinese.

Today and yesterday I got loads and loads of feedback and I’m trying to implement this all, and doing the best I can.

Although I’m stressed and a month ago I actually took a week off because of a burnout/Boreout.

So meanwhile, I’m doing some therapy and try and stop the negative thoughtflow. But I’m also feeling very lost and alone in this project. Because my questions don’t get answered.
We have to work from home and also we have to work less since the company is not doing very well in this crisis.

Also before the whole shithole began I was looking for another job because I lack the confidence that I will keep this current one. Still looking and two rejections further.

I’m trying meditation to cope with all this.

NodeJS and MongoDB. And tutorials.

Everywhere tutorials show simple example of console.log output of findOne. Good, that works... But when I try to extrapolate example to assign results to variable, it won't work. Inside that fetch anonymous function it works... But outside, simply undefined no matter what I try. Return doesn't return either...

Why it is so hard to make tutorials and examples that would be actually useful. I've spent hours with this already.

And on top of that it is really hard to find tutorials staying with minimum extra dependencies. Like most tutorials in this case throw mongoose in the soup. And I don't want that.

Sometimes makes me question why I try to learn these new things, when I have knowledge of other technologies that I could use faster and easier...

Am I the only one that feels like I'am not doing anything worthy at my current job ? I mean... I don't want to develop stupid apps for stupid people...

So idk how to start this but ... ohm the short version would be that I'm in a little life crisis because idk where my career should go, i know the basics (maybe a bit more) about it security, i know how to setup a nodeJs server from scratch, i know frontend dev. , swift, kotlin, java, C , R and a lot of useless frameworks but nothing of this I'm really good in (what's ok because im in my 3 semester) i just don't know where i should go.
I seriously love every aspect of computer science but i also know it make no sense for my future not to focus on one suspect.
Now how can i find out with way i want to go ?

I had a mini-crisis last week. I swore off JavaScript in all its manifestations, deeming it irrelevant and annoying to work with. The irony is that deep down, I knew I'd need it for frontend and web-based data visualization. As it would give me the level of control I need in these fields.

I'm back at it again, after a period of peace and rest. I currently thinking it was just the burnout I faced as a result of remote team activities revolving around an MVP I needed to release for a startup project.

*shrugs* One has to do what has to be done.

There shouldn't be April Fool's jokes amid coronavirus crisis, thousands dying, healthcare centers and hospitals collapsing… we should have more respect.

Google decided to forgo its annual April Fool's jokes.

Damn! Jeff Bezos is the world's richest man with now over 142 billion USD!!

I wonder if he feels some kind of existential crisis everyday.

Successful artists or actors become weird after becoming rich af.

Looking at the commit logs of ry/deno gives me existential crisis, yet excited on the bitch side.

Are there anything that's more fun to program when you're drunk? I'm in an extensional crisis, herlp