- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

I interviewed for a big named company who I really admired to work on some video stuff .. My technical interview lasted 10 minutes swiftly followed by a #fail email ... Two years later I had the opportunity to interview again and got a position ! Never stop learning

My company has been looking for a project time tracking and reporting app/website for 2 years but are too cheap to buy one. So they want me to develop one to their specifications which are forever changing. Let's say I've intentionally wasted so much time "perfecting it". it's been done for 2 months.