- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!

My boss is technically restricted shall we say.

As the cto I have also been designated office IT guy. Which means apparently fixing the printer. Which is ok I guess. I mean it's bullsh*t but hey.

Anyway, about 6 months ago he said he needed a new laptop. He lives his life in excel and outlook, and even though the whole company uses google docs for everything he still exports everything to excel, makes a copy, then saves it back to drive so everything gets out of sync.

It's a fun problem that I have banned everyone from doing obviously but he continues.

Anyway, anyway, he wanted a new windows laptop naturally. I said to spend about £700 on a decent machine rather than buying something cheap that will frustrate and not last long.

He doesn't listen and gets some old windows 7 machine for £300. It's an alright spec for 2009; he must not have got the memo about it being 2017.

4 months go by and he says he needs a new laptop because this one is too slow (not least because he opens 400 chrome tabs and never reboots his machine). Anyway, I fix the problem of uninstalling all his bloatware and it runs quicker but he has his heart set on a new machine.

He insists.

I suggest he spend the money this time so he literally doesn't buy a new one in 4 months. I suggest the surface book that's £1200. A little overpriced but he will love the touch screen, it's powerful enough and it's windows. Ticks all the boxes for him.

He suddenly decides he wants a Mac.

I tell him it will be a nightmare for everyone if he does that.

He insists.

I suggest the Mac book pro as I've had mine for 6 years now and it's still going strong. It's a little more expensive than the surface but it will last.

He then says he wants the air.

I say they haven't updated them in ages and they aren't actually that powerful.

He insists.

That night he just buys an air from the Apple Store.

WHY THE FU*k ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR ADVICE IF YOURE NOT GOING TO LISTEN YOU MOTHERFUC*er. WASTING MY TIME AND YOURS.

Was very close to rage quitting when he wanted me to back up his old machine but didn't bring in his hard drive and didn't want to put it in the cloud. #whatDoYouWantMeToDoWithYourOldPornCollection

To top it all off I ran some benchmarks and my 6 year old Mac book pro is more powerful than his "brand new" air.

OK morning rant from yesterday.

Get into the venue, connect my surface to the dock, keyboard won't work.
Try more USB ports, try another machine, keyboard (corsair k70) is totally broken.

Ugh.
Fine.

Disassemble keyboard, someone asks me a question, turn around and knock full coffee cup over my surface book.

Fuck sake.
Now I need a new laptop.

Yet another Windows rant but boi Redmond deserves it.
For our new office I took a leap of faith ordering 15 iMac 5k. (btw HP quoting us €10k each pc for same spec).

There are two young guys insist on Windows. Good for you so we ordered two top of line surface book. He religiously unwrapped and said “who want apple trash more than this beauty.”

It’s been 5 hours that shit spent on “Getting Ready Windows for you”, once done it prompted another updating at 4% until we all left work.

So this morning I’m ordering another two MBPs...

Found an astronomy book from 1837 with instructions on how to build telescopes and drawings of the moon surface.

I managed to get a new dell XPS 15 with uhd display, 16GB RAM and a nice i7 for work.

My boss previously asked for advice from me for which laptop to get, he ignored my advice which was for him to get a nice surface book pro for his excel activities

Instead he got a shitty Mac book air (who are these people who like the airs?). As his cto I was upset he didn’t trust his tech guy to choose him a powerful laptop that was useful.

Anyway, he saw my new laptop this week and a contractor was admiring it. My boss then said why didn’t you tell me to get this one? (The surface pro is the same spec but with tablet and pen ability).

What a dick. I’m still mad he didn’t listen to me. And now he is saying I never told him.

Macs are shit btw. This dell is great and I don’t know how we lived without uhd screens before.

Found this in "Origin" book by Dan Brown. I love it when tech jokes surface in novels.

Anyone else hate their Macbook Pro 2018? RIGHT after the return policy the speakers start acting like it has fucking tourette's, plus my machine randomly SHUTS DOWN.

Apple Store "Genius": "Yup, we gotta send it in for repair, 10 business days."

10 business days without my work laptop, gee thanks asshole, at least be a little more empathetic about it.

My 2015 Macbook Pro gave me ZERO problems. The only reason why I upgraded was that compiling took forever (React Native).

If I didn't have to work with Xcode I would just sell this thing and buy a PC laptop. (The Surface book looks nice =))

I am studying an online data science course in python offered by Microsoft.
The instructor uses Surface book and also has a Mac book on his desk for backup because windows.
He uses chrome all the time for his explanation to run jupyter.
The point is even they know their tech is shit but still "Windows has set your default browser to edge" - this happens
¯\_(ツ)_/⁻

@localhost finally got around to posting my WFH space (not pictured is a Surface Book and Surface Pro 3).

@sheffter not everyone has an immaculate desk ;-)

Currently my school's Java curriculum has outdated resources and the only modern resource is a poorly written AP Computer Science book that barely scratches the surface of the language. Well, my teacher saw what I'm capable of compared to some of the other students and decided that she wants me to write an entire curriculum for the class. The only thing that bothers me is that there are plenty of online resources that I used to get where I am that she refuses to let the class use because they're "too advanced" and "they won't understand it." Does she understand that I've never written a course before and that my way will probably be more difficult than the tutorials that she calls "too advanced?"

Well... there goes my summer I guess

Day 8 without a laptop and I am losing my mind!!! I am behind on all projects with a review coming up on Saturday!!!!😡
My MacBook fell victim to the flex gate design flaw, costing a fortune to fix. I am getting a surface book instead and it was supposed to arrive today!!!! Now they are saying there’s a delay and I don’t even know when it will arrive!!!!!!! I am losing my mind! Help! 😩 what can I do to pass the time and take my mind off being behind on projects? It hit so bad I started learning to dance from YouTube! I’m tired of reading too!!!! Help! 😰

More from my big black book of ai and neuroscience:

I think if trace theory is true to any degree it would go some distance in explaining phenomenal consciousness, assuming I haven't misunderstood anything.

In fuzzy trace theory (FTT) it is posited that people form two types of mental representations about a past event:

*verbatim traces: detailed representations of a past event.

*gist traces: fuzzy representations of a past event.

People can reason with verbatim *and* gist traces but prefer gists.

*vision was suggested to work similarly in 1999. With human vision, two processes could be used: one that aggregates local receptive fields and one that parses the local receptive spatial field. It was suggested that people used prior experience, gists, to decide which dominates a perceptual decision.

Gist processes form representations of events, semantic details, where verbatim reinstates the context found in the surface details of an event.

__notes__

Parallel storage: asserts encoding/storage of verbatim/gist traces operate in *parallel*, not in serial.

I like to think of verbatim traces as databases, and gists as queries constructed by recognition.

Several studies have found that the meaning (gist) of an item is encoded even *before* the surface details (verbatim).

This might be important as a survival mechanism but should not be taken to mean strictly that gists are formed wholly *without* details or important and recognizable features of the item in question. It may well be for high level el processing and classification efficiency this may be an important reprocessing step, in the same way that many functions of the brain are duplicated throughout.

Thinking about getting a surface book but can only afford an 8gb one... Will it be enough or should I look elsewhere for more ram? Decisions decisions...

Hardware Nerd Rant...

Spend nearly a year waiting for a super high end developer laptop. Tricked out MacBook Pro 2016: $4200+, Tricked out Surface Book 2/i7, $3700+

No 32GB ram because of Intel power consumption pre-Cannonlake. Mac doesn't have a touchscreen at its price point...

My gut ultimately says: NOPE.JPG

General hope is for GPU Docks like the Razer Core to come to Apple in 2017. Thoughts?

Hello there, long time no see.

Back in the day I asked you for a book that goes deep in the C programming language, now I'm asking the same but for Nodejs, especially a book that explains the event loop down to the line of code.

There are some articles on the internet but they are all copy/paste of one another and don't even scratch the surface of what the event loop does

What laptop would you guys recommend for development? I was thinking about a surface or surface book but those don't have dedicated gpus iirc and thus a friend recommended the Dell ultrabooks - what would you guys choose? MacBook is out of the game.

If you are reading Coding for dummies book to learn software you are doing it alllll wrong lol ... Please while I appreciate your effort and willingness to try but no.. just no.. put the book down that book won’t teach you shit.

Same thing if you are one of those folks who got conned into believe “you can land a programming gig by signing up and paying for this 6 week course!!” Bullshit.. I like your initiative but there’s soooooo much more than that and it won’t even touch the surface. You will end up believing a false reality that you think you know what your doing but you don’t know how much you really don’t know. But like it doesn’t even scratch the surface don’t even attempt Get a job after those courses or coding for dummies book. You will be laughed at..

In fact I almost want to buy the coding for dummies book to have it in my collection of software books to not read. Which I will say is very small. There’s more really good books than really bad.. and obviously plenty of average. But the bell curve lands above the better half.

Idk if It's my luck or something, but as much as I love Microsoft, EVERY fucking thing of it that I use, has bugs.
I report them, they get fixed (eventually)
but goddamn.
Visual Studio enterprise taking 2mins+ to report a simple error on debug
That error happens within one of Microsoft's Nuget Packages for OneDrive Enterprise for UWP
Oh and if that wasn't bad enough, my machine is a Surface Book 2 and the cursor still stutters through it all (and on idle half the time)

Am I cursed or something?

!rant, but self flaggelation.

Been 3 weeks with my new company.

They are M$ shop, so got the Surface Book and top specced base.

And today I spilled coffee on it 😱

Granted, I had this coming. Over the years I've had many laptops, and put them in all sorts of dangerous situations. But of course it happens now to embarrass me at the new company.

Does anyone have any experience with surface service or returning, and cost? 💸

UWP suck, I don't wanna hurt yall feeling but it's time to face the truths:
+ SandBox
+ Less Job Offer
+ Development more Complicated than Web App
+ Microsoft not create perfect hardware to make sure our app get to more consumers (the Pro X is failure)
+ Poor Optimized
Poor Optimized ?
the Windows 10 optimization is joke, all my surface laptop, pro, book I have tested. They claim that consume less Ram, but when using it along side electron and Win32 app. It feel so much choppy and lag. I mean WTF ?
UWP was made for optimize low specs SoC such as ARM base, now my laptop running on a core I5 + GPU still lag ??
I'm sorry but this is just sad. Im moving back to win32. WinRT sooner or later will end supported
And Microsoft will improve the Win32 Api

Hmm, thinking of getting a surface book and dual booting Linux on it for my laptop and then a Mac mini for iOS development for uni, what do you guys think?