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I told my girlfriend about Devrant. Now she's hooked onto it and doesn't pay attention to me. And now I'm ranting about it on Devrant. Oh the irony! T_T12
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Fuck You blue car driver who is texting and just cut in front of me! I accidentally double tapped the wrong rant!4
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Just had a feedback session.
Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.
The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.
Relatable right?11 -
*me searching for jobs*
*types in 'junior backend developer'*
First result:
Junior Frontend Developer.
*big facepalm*
Yeah I understand that it might just be some kinda algorithm that filters on words or whatever but the irony was real!13 -
what a irony !
manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.
graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.
coreldraw
-_-5 -
A guy who doesn't work on our project anymore, but still checks on us regularly just did this:
- reported a bug
- started explaining what's causing the issue
- realised the problem was in a piece of code written by him before
- fixed his own mistake, committed it and created a pull request
We all had a good laugh.7 -
This is a fun one for me :D
TLDR: Was mad at my old boss and I got a new job the next day!
Here it goes :D
I was working at a IT Recruiting place as a IT Guy (the irony...). That job wad awful as fuck. I didnt do anything with IT I always had to clean up sone shitty database with a UI without ever learning what is happening behind the UI and my boss always told me that I would be learning a lot about databases when doing that... Yeah totally you fuckwit. All I did was copy pasting... So one day I got really mad at him and I just went home and didnt answer any calls or anything else for 2 days. That same day I started writing to web development companies and I sent a portfolio with a 1990 looking website but luckily I was just looking for an internship so I got called the next day by a company (spoiler: Its the company I work at now) and the guy told me to come if I had time to chat a little. So we chatted bla bla bla and he told me I could work there. So the next day I went to my ex boss and told him that I had a new job. I shouldnt have to mention he was completely shocked right? :D haha he didnt believe me at first but then he did after some time. So I worked there for one more month but only because I was a nice guy and then I went to the new awesome company.
At the new awesome company I had 2 weeks probation time. So I did my best and in the end I git the job :) I am still working there. Its been 9 months since that happened and I just love my bosses, the team and I love going to work!
Thats my story :D8 -
Although I know it's nothing, the irony is real.
My room is connected to the power group together with 5 other people.
Watching a mass surveillance documentary.
Suddenly my power goes out, the rest stays on.
I know it must be a glitch in the newly installed power management system but damn the timing couldn't be better!4 -
So at the beginning there was assembly.
But people wanted something more highlevel, so C was born.
But writing big projects was a pain so C++ was invented.
But then the web started to become more popular and C++ wasn‘t really good at that, so Rasmus Lerdorf created PHP.
And then everything moved to the client and should be loaded dynamically for better UX, so everyone writes JS.
But JS doesn‘t have a good performance, so people created web assembly compiled from C...
Am i the only one who sees the irony in this?7 -
- Do you agree website to use cookies to save your preferences?
- No
* uses cookies to remember selection4 -
Irony: A robot that clicks for me on the "I'm not a robot" buttons.
(Firefox Addon by prowebmasters)
12 -
Hey fellow selfish Millenials who want to be paid for their valuable work, how's the job hunting going?
I'm a few days into hunting for some interesting part time work and I'm already encountering some real gems... Pinnacle of irony with this one.
Anyone got some horrific tales to share? This is a safe space for your anguish to finally be released, I promise.
15 -
Manual Data Entry: Most boring job
This reminds me of one conversation with one of my faculty..
Faculty: Why not try some Machine Learning Project?
Me: Cool. Any ideas you have already thought
Faculty: Comes up with a really noble idea
Me: Awesome idea. But we need data
Faculty: Don't worry. I will get it. Just help me setup Hadoop (see the irony.. no data yet, and he wants big data setup)
Me: But we don't have data. Let's focus of data collection, Sir
Faculty: I will get it. Don't worry. Trust me.
( I did setup for him twice coz he formatted the system on which I did the setup first time)
After 6 months,
Me: (same question) Sir, Data??
Faculty: I got it.
Me: Great. Give me, I can start looking into it from today.
Faculty: Actually, it's in a register written manually in a different language (which even I can't understand) I will hire data entry guys to convert it into English digital contents.
Me: *facepalm*
Road to Manual data entry to Big Data
Dedicating this pencil to the individuals keeping the register up to date and Sir in hopes of converting it into big data..
Long way to go..
6 -
Subtle irony:
Tons of people rant about how bad PHP is on devRant.
devRant's is built using PHP.
Love it4 -
I'm a backender. I fucking hate everything relating to designing, UI/UX designing and especially frontending.
I can't stand it when interfaces look bad/are off, have bugs and so on.
I just can't stand that stuff but the irony is real 😅5 -
Lately, Namecheap has been forcing their users to change passwords once every six months. Otherwise, they bombard you with annoying popups. When I finally changed mine, this is how they did it on their end. I just can't deal with the irony of this whole situation...
11 -
The story of Netscape and Internet Explorer really proves the irony of fate! And how life will come back to bite you.
Back in the 90's you had to pay for browsers like Netscape (it was called a navigator but same thing) but after Microsoft released IE for free with your windows copy in 2002 it crushed Netscape and nobody used it anymore (the graph below).
But! Netscape wouldn't give up and before the company died after it made legal accusations against Microsoft and Bill Gates and made them pay for that they did, but Netscape was too far gone and already were falling apart they decided to make a self detonation (I guess that's what they thought being in that tight corner) and they released the code as open source which would later get taken by Mozilla and be the code base for Firefox.
Now look at how much better Firefox is and how nobody uses the shitty IE!
Kind of reminds me of the scene from watchmen where Rorshack was in prison and said the best sentence in the movie "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here WITH ME!"
21 -
"You claim you are a developer and don't know what firebase is? Pfft"
Words uttered by one of my classmates flexing on some 4th semester college inmates. I don't know what's more annoying his squeaky voice, the pretentiousness of using headphones as a necklace during class or that I was just like him when I was a freshman (minus the low hanging fruit flexing).
God fucking damn, I'm not even mad at his obnoxious pampered kid semblance, it's the irony of this enlightened fago falling into the god forsaken rat race. Why?
Because he hasn't been magnanimously disappointed by one of the most corrupt systems I've ever been witness of, yeah keep talking about firebase to the teacher who just nods pretending she knows what you are talking about.
I've had this same teacher before and your nice asynchronous ES6 express nosql solution will come last compared to all the WordPress templates she'll approve because they are pretty and all the time you invested, yeah, right into the crapper, seriously it would've been more satisfying to just masturbate everyday until Christmas break. I'm not pissed at him, annoyed by his semblance maybe, but I actually pitty him because the system will take a big shit on his face and he's just smiling.
Damn it, all these careers ruined by lazy ass professors who think leaving a shitload of diagrams as homework counts as teaching. And before any quirky brother interjects with "oh maybe your University is shit", "muh University verry gut u suk", you shut the fuck up! I know my university sucks even tho is "one of the best ones" by the corrupt media's standards, I'm here to vent about issues, real fucking issues happening in real corrupt systems, I'm taking about professors sexually abusing students, not going to classes, no centralized teaching systems, fucking chaos.
I'm happy for you if you feel good about the piece of paper you hang on your wall that certifies you as Bobby the guy who not only learned a shit load about computers, he also bent his ass so far for us and payed us so much money for it, it's funny he thinks himself as smart.
I know, I know, you went to an ivy league college, have a wonderful job and owe some money, good for you, some are not so lucky and I'll make sure those lazy asses who take advantage of the system lose their jobs.
I'm so sick of this shit we call "moodern educashion"
7 -
My client is trying to force me to sign an ethics agreement that would allow them to sue me if found in breach of it. At the same time they are scraping eBay's data without their consent and refuse to sign the licence agreement. Apparently they don't understand irony.3
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When the purpose of your app starts with a "C" then just replace it with a "K" and tada: You have a cool new hipster name for it!
Example:
Collaborate -> Kollaborate
How cool is that?!!23 -
"Open Source is life", he tweets.
Gets a job offer from Microsoft.
Starts salary negotiation without thinking twice. #irony24 -
Nobody cares what the code does when it works. Everybody cares about it when it doesn't work. You just can't win. 😤3
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Fucking boss trying to "inspire" us by talking about famous people like elon musk, steve jobs etc.
Well newsflash dumb boss, they are not employees, they are fucking bosses too!
Atleast, consider paying us for overtime before trying to make us rebuild entire project in an impossible deadline.
And yeah, hiring someone who has experience in that framework would be helpful too.8 -
> Amazon like website - 9 dollars
> Webdev homework. - 50 dollars
> Spelling mistakes. - have no price
Freelancing can be so bizarre, I'm 50 bucks wealthier now tho.2 -
Before I took on my current position (internal transfer), I stated that for what my boss asked for I would need a small team.
He agreed to that and promised I would get 2-3 developers.
6 months after (with countless reminders) he told me I could train some people at one of our providers.
Turns out those guys were Java developers, even though I asked for C# (since our codebase is .net)
After a few training sessions, where concepts as source control were a big topic ("why not just copy the code to a new folder with _good_ naming?"), I gave them a test assignment.
After reviewing their code I just gave up. They cannot program. They don't understand concepts like scoping of variables. Concepts of separation of responsibility.
I told my boss this but I had to make it work with them.
I went to my bosses boss (Head of IT) with my resignation in hand, since I felt my boss didn't want to support me actually getting a team. After a few talks I was asked to "keep it cool" and wait until he presented his new organization.
Now my boss asked me for which skills new developers should have. To which I could just laugh at him and forward countless mails from the last 6-8 months asking for developers.
<Irony>I love my boss</Irony>6 -
Paranoid Developers - It's a long one
Backstory: I was a freelance web developer when I managed to land a place on a cyber security program with who I consider to be the world leaders in the field (details deliberately withheld; who's paranoid now?). Other than the basic security practices of web dev, my experience with Cyber was limited to the OU introduction course, so I was wholly unprepared for the level of, occasionally hysterical, paranoia that my fellow cohort seemed to perpetually live in. The following is a collection of stories from several of these people, because if I only wrote about one they would accuse me of providing too much data allowing an attacker to aggregate and steal their identity. They do use devrant so if you're reading this, know that I love you and that something is wrong with you.
That time when...
He wrote a social media network with end-to-end encryption before it was cool.
He wrote custom 64kb encryption for his academic HDD.
He removed the 3 HDD from his desktop and stored them in a safe, whenever he left the house.
He set up a pfsense virtualbox with a firewall policy to block the port the student monitoring software used (effectively rendering it useless and definitely in breach of the IT policy).
He used only hashes of passwords as passwords (which isn't actually good).
He kept a drill on the desk ready to destroy his HDD at a moments notice.
He started developing a device to drill through his HDD when he pushed a button. May or may not have finished it.
He set up a new email account for each individual online service.
He hosted a website from his own home server so he didn't have to host the files elsewhere (which is just awful for home network security).
He unplugged the home router and began scanning his devices and manually searching through the process list when his music stopped playing on the laptop several times (turns out he had a wobbly spacebar and the shaking washing machine provided enough jittering for a button press).
He brought his own privacy screen to work (remember, this is a security place, with like background checks and all sorts).
He gave his C programming coursework (a simple messaging program) 2048 bit encryption, which was not required.
He wrote a custom encryption for his other C programming coursework as well as writing out the enigma encryption because there was no library, again not required.
He bought a burner phone to visit the capital city.
He bought a burner phone whenever he left his hometown come to think of it.
He bought a smartphone online, wiped it and installed new firmware (it was Chinese; I'm not saying anything about the Chinese, you're the one thinking it).
He bought a smartphone and installed Kali Linux NetHunter so he could test WiFi networks he connected to before using them on his personal device.
(You might be noticing it's all he's. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't).
He ate a sim card.
He brought a balaclava to pentesting training (it was pretty meme).
He printed out his source code as a manual read-only method.
He made a rule on his academic email to block incoming mail from the academic body (to be fair this is a good spam policy).
He withdraws money from a different cashpoint everytime to avoid patterns in his behaviour (the irony).
He reported someone for hacking the centre's network when they built their own website for practice using XAMMP.
I'm going to stop there. I could tell you so many more stories about these guys, some about them being paranoid and some about the stupid antics Cyber Security and Information Assurance students get up to. Well done for making it this far. Hope you enjoyed it.
41 -
I was supposed to polish and work on my blog and server stuff, but then I went to YouTube and got distracted by "How to be productive" videos. Aaand got nothing done.
Oh the irony!1 -
Apple asked it's employees not to leak information in a memo. Guess what? The memo got leaked. Lol
2 -
My Nexus 6P died yesterday..
A new battery that I ordered for it months ago, arrived.. today.
4700mAh. If only I could've tested it.
This feels so much like it was just to rub it in a little bit further that that Nexus is gone forever.. just before I could fix the first shitstain, the second one occurred already... Fuck me :')10 -
Get an email from Twitter about updating my account security, but that’s not even my account
Oh the blissful irony
2 -
Oh the irony: one of the e-banks I use, forces users to type their passwords via virtual on screen keyboard (javascript based!!!) due to security 'standards' yet in the same breath doesn't allow a user to use any other character for password besides the basic alfanum.. o.O fml4
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Lurker here.
Just wanted to highlight the irony of specializing in human computer interaction and automation, while people avoid interaction at work.6 -
You want to land a job as PHP developer? About to go to an interview?
There are two ways:
1. Be able to explain the difference between an interface and an abstract class and their purposes. (I shit you not.)
2. If you aren't able to, then simply state you don't know and are eager to learn.
(The second approach might not work if you claimed to know object oriented programming "very well" before though.)
Yet I am astounded in how many interviews people were either playing smart and just rambled on not wanting to lose face. During the remote calls of some special candidates I could even hear them typing on their keyboards in the background googling the answers to my questions.
And the irony is that I thereby had to veto their appliance. As they had lost my trust in being able to communicate honestly. And for wasting my time.
Our domain is complicated and ever-changing and not knowing certain parts of software development is *normal*.
Yet don't just try to fake it in order to land a job. It won't work, and when it does you may find yourself literally in the company of like-minded individuals.24 -
Found this online while searching for something about shitty existing code that I just didn't understand. Irony!
1 -
Hey guys,
this rant will be long again. I'm sorry for any grammar errors or something like that, english isn't my native language. Furthermore I'm actually very sad and not in a good mood.
Why? What happened? Some of you may already know - I'm doing my apprenticeship / education in a smal company.
There I'm learning a lot, I'm developing awesome features directly for the clients, experience of which other in my age (I'm only 19 years old) can only dream.
Working in such a small company is very exhausting, but I love my job, I love programming. I turned my hobby into a profession and I'm very proud of it.
But then there are moments like the last time, when I had to present something for a client - the first presentation was good, the last was a disaster, nothing worked - but I learned from it.
But this time everything is worse than bad - I mean really, really worse than bad.
I've worked the whole week on a cool new feature - I've done everything that it works yesterday, that everything gets done before the deadline of yesterday.
To achieve this I've coded thursday till 10pm ! At home! Friday I tested the whole day everything to ensure that everything is working properly. I fixed several bugs and then at the end of the day everything seems to be working. Even my boss said that it looks good and he thinks that the rollout to all clients will become good and without any issues.
But unfortunately deceived.
Yesterday evening I wrote a long mail to my boss - with a "manual". He was very proud and said that he is confident that everything will work fine. He trusts me completly.
Then, this morning I received a mail from him - nothing works anymore - all clients have issues, everything stays blank - because I've forgotten to ensure that the new feature (a plugin) and its functionality is supported by the device (needs a installation).
First - I was very shoked - but in the same moment I thought - one moment - you've written an if statement, if the plugin is installed - so why the fuck should it broken everything?!
I looked instant to the code via git. This has to be a very bad joke from my boss I thought. But then I saw the fucking bug - I've written:
if(plugin) { // do shit }
but it has to be if(typeof plugin !== 'undefined')
I fucked up everything - due to this fucking mistake. This little piece of shit I've forgotten on one single line fucked up everything. I'm sorry for this mode of expression but I thought - no this can not be true - it must be a bad bad nightmare.
I've tested this so long, every scenario, everything. Worked till the night so it gets finished. No one, no one from my classmates would ever think of working so long. But I did it, because I love my job. I've implemented a check to ensure that the plugin is installed - but implemented it wrong - exactly this line which caused all the errors should prevent exactly this - what an irony of fate.
I've instantly called my boss and apologized for this mistake. The mistake can't be undone. My boss now has to go to all clients to fix it. This will be very expensive...
Oh my goodnes, I just cried.
I'm only working about half a year in this company - they trust me so much - but I'm not perfect - I make mistakes - like everyone else. This time my boss didn't looked over my code, didn't review it, because he trusted me completly - now this happens. I think this destroyed the trust :( I'm so sad.
He only said that we will talk on monday, how we can prevent such things in the feature..
Oh guys, I don't know - I've fucked up everything, we were so overhelmed that everything would work :(
Now I'm the looser who fucked up - because not testing enough - even when I tested it for days, even at home - worked at home - till the night - for free, for nothing - voluntary.
This is the thanks for that.
Thousand good things - but one mistake and you're the little asshole. You - a 19 year old guy, which works since 6 months in a company. A boss which trusts you and don't look over your code. One line which should prevent crashing, crashed everything.
I'm sorry that this rant is so long, I just need to talk to you guys because I'm so sad. Again. This has happend to frequently lately.16 -
Irony is when I just interviewed a person in my current workplace right after giving an interview for a new job in another place1
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Arrrr not you too Firefox 😶 and Mr Robot . ... Wtf is wrong with both parties marketing team. If this is not irony, wtf is.
https://sircmpwn.github.io/2017/12/...21 -
I enjoy listening to Metalcore while coding. It really helps me calm down and focus/concentrate (the irony of that whilst having someone scream right into my ears 😂). It also helps me chill and regulate my emotions better. Am I weird? What helps you focus and code better?32
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Employer: I want to make a search engine but only for our products.
Me: Sure. It's called an eshop.
Employer: You know that eshops are not engines right?
Me: Technology has changed the past few years. (hidden irony)
Employer: I guess that's geeky stuff. Tell me more about this.
Me: First, you need to upgrade your flash eshop.
Employer: (frustrated) You IT people always want to do things your way, aren't you? Nevermind, let's get to business, how can I make my site better?1 -
As stated in a previous story, I just started an internship using angular and am learning it on the job.
The other day, one of the admins posted an issue in gitlab about how easy it was to delete user accounts via the front end.
He wanted someone to add further confirmation to prevent accidentally deleting anyone. Literally just had to hit the X icon and poof they're gone.
I was like, I can do that! Of course, as I was looking at the platforms account page, accidentally deleted that admins account 😅
He thanked me for resolving the issue, and it became a joke around the office about the irony of the situation.2 -
One of our existing clients who used to pay for two of our products but now only pays for one just called us. The one he canceled is a loss prevention product that tracks internal theft in stores. He canceled it because he didn't feel it was worth it.
Now, he's calling us from a police station because he's trying to press charges against one of his managers because they were presumably stealing from him.
"Hey I need to know how many times this person stole from me over the last few months and I need to know it now because I'm at the police station."
With just a few clicks that would be an easy figure to retrieve for him had he not canceled our product.
My stance is he can get lost. I don't even think he sees the irony of canceling because "it isn't worth it" and then "asap" needing the data that the "worthless" product provides. Of course, he wants it without reactivating the subscription.
Unbelievable.5 -
Lol... So I was a intern at a IT Recruitment Start Up as a IT Guy (the irony). I was given a task to upload all his clients into a database from xing. It was a fucking copy paste job... So I told him this sucks... You will not believe what he said next... "you will learn how databases work with this" WHAT THE FUCK DUDE YOURE SUCH A DENSE MOTHERFUCKER. HOW WILL ANYBODY LEARN HOW DATABASES WORK WITH COPY PASTE... YOU RETARD.3
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Oh the irony.
Translation:
Warning
The certificate of this website is not trustworthy. Proceed anyway?
2 -
My company just migrated our mail servers over to office365. My boss has been excited and could barely contain himself when the migration was done he was having the best day ever after he got a good deal on some new toys...Then I ruined it.
Me (setting up) > WTF!? um...well I guess I don't have email on my phone anymore. These permissions are fucked.
Him > Oh why?
Me > They are ridiculous, I won't give away this much control just to read email.
Him (panicking) > and if buy you a company phone?
Me > Not a fuck it's still a personal device. I'll just sandbox the web version.
Him > Your over reacting, they obviously need them for security blah blah...
Me (sends him the pic) > The minimum system requirement is internet.
(...silence...)
I feel kinda bad for killing his vibe - he's a nice guy and he's only trying to do right by us but now he seems down like his toy isn't shiny anymore because he respects me. I wasn't beating on the stack or his choice (mines running on thunderbird). I just can't support this trend of GOD mode permissions for email / calculator and other single feature apps. I'll use the web app instead. You have to draw the line somewhere...
On the other hand I can't deny that I'm loving the irony that Microsoft just made my life easier and have a deep sense of satisfaction that for the first time ever I got fuck up his Friday :/
21 -
!rant
I promoted duckduckgo to friends on Facebook and got them in a discussion about it. People generally are fairly receptive (with one annoying uncle pointing out the irony of posting it on Facebook xD).
One mentioned it was difficult to switch because Google was "just there", so I pointed to instructions on how to make it default.
Also enticing them with theme changes.
Feels good. Next to teach them how to use proxies :p
meta rant: I categorised this as a rant/story, mainly because it is related to tech, should I have just done "random"?
29 -
That fucking ironic time when all you need to make money is Internet connection but you have no money at all to pay for it.6
-
It's ironic how I could seem to get ms Silverlight working on windows 10 and now I got it working in Linux through wine
Seriously anyone who uses Silverlight in his websites or web applications should burn in hell7 -
CCleaner has been hacked. I'm waiting for the official reports, and savouring the irony of a tool used to keep a machine tidy actually infecting it even more.11
-
Go to business school to get a Finance degree... Since you already know how to code, why do you need study CS? Finance is hot now, make $$$$$$4
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Me: "Showtime!"
Windows: "LOL, NOPE!"
The irony in this rant is that I just installed Linux in a dualboot environment and was eager to start setting up the new OS. For some reason, Grub was not recognized and Windows started automatically... 😥
5 -
Windows is now being developed with git. I cant believe that.
This is the BIGGEST IRONY EVER!
Please tell me its a joke!
https://techcrunch.com/2017/05/...20 -
Why is it that a lot of developers don't have the most basic of Windows knowledge? For example, a lot of people complaining about Windows Update. I mean, it's just a setting you can configure and a service you can stop and turn off..
It all sounds ironic.9 -
So my Product Manager girlfriend just said, "I have a great idea for an app that people will really want. Can you build it for me?". She did not see the irony
-
Nothing like taking a company IT security training that requires Flash.
The first step to be able to run the training?
Override your browser's security setting to allow Flash to be able to run.
Anyone else see the irony here?1 -
The irony when you move your presentation on data safety onto a drive that is likely to fail soon.2
-
So on a sign up website for a programming competition they ask you to choose your screen size to fit the webpage....
Oh the irony1 -
So being a fan of Silicon Valley i found out there's a real startup company with a Voice-controlled tablet device called "Nucleus".
Irony is they are suing the same company which invested in it and then copied it's product....(Amazon)4 -
Culture is a cunt.
The future is stupid.
Irony isn't what it used to be.
And time is merely a fractal illusion.
Atleast Monday is forever.4 -
My 2nd year university project. Everytime I started to work on my module, someone screwed things up on Github somehow and I was the one fixing it. That was the last time I decided to say bye to group projects and offer to do the whole work by myself.
But oh the irony...
2 -
I love the irony that the devrant stress ball my co-worker just received is the beginning of my stress.... bounce bounce bounce AHHHH!2
-
I always feel the people who post hate about Java are .Net Developers and then I like to think they are also the ones who complain about Windows just so I can have that moment of irony.7
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Vuejs guide has answers for every possible questions I have, never asked question on stack overflow or even referred answer in stack overflow. Irony is its maintained by Chinese. A big applause to those guys at Vuejs, you guys are awesome.
PS: Weex also needs some good documentation just like Vuejs, since Evans is working closely with them I believe it's possible in futute.2 -
Am I the only one who thinks that the new Linux CoC is actually not bad? I think most of the ppl who are flaming about the CoC didn't even read the text. It literally says not be be an asshole and be polite to everyone. What's wrong with that? I know that man think the author has a questionable background. Even if, so what? Dump the CoC and "pull the code" BS because you don't like the author? Let the politics out of open source and get your shit together... and yes I see the irony, but this is the place for ranting :)35
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Our prof at university told us at the beginning of the semester, that .NET is the most used framework for web based systems and it would take a big part in this semester. He brought up a statistic, in which .NET filled around 43 %, and wasnt even the most populated one. Nobody seemed to be impressed, that the first information he provided to us, was obviously wrong but okay.. After that I just looked up the statistic and filtered the values for my own country, in which Im "probably" about to work later on. The percentage for .NET in my country was 4 %. I told my classmates, that this guy is talking complete bullshit. Still nobody cared. During semester we learned stuff, that was btw factually wrong. In the end, we didnt even had one lecture about .NET. Now my classmates finally care and are flaming all day about this guy. Didnt expect that... (Irony off)
There is one more story of this ridculous prof that will follow soon :D3 -
API Documentation: All API request should be made over https connections.
Me: Ok, (sees url bar), SECURE, good!
(sees curl code)
curl -X GET 'http://shittyapi.com/api/v2/users'
Me: (gasps) huh?
(heads to http://shittyapi.com/api/v2)
Me: Ok, (sees address bar) NOT SECURE
.
.
.
.
.
(long silence)5 -
Company is about to get certified to ISO 9001:
Kick-off meeting with consultant announced weeks ago, mandatory for all employees.
Everyone is kind of joking about it, but also looking forward to certain workflows maybe changing to the better.
Two hours before meeting, told by CTO not to attend.
Some code I hadn't touched for half a year needs urgent patching to make the equipment pass EMC test (doing so within a few hours would help us save the lab cost for another day of testing).
When they applied RF noise to the bus lines, the CAN peripheral would glitch and need reset, this should happen covertly the first few times without raising any error to the user, so they could just finish the testing without being disturbed by the error - and the EMC lab will not test the functionality of the device after all.
The irony when you were actually supposed to learn about quality that day...1 -
My company has been looking for a project time tracking and reporting app/website for 2 years but are too cheap to buy one. So they want me to develop one to their specifications which are forever changing. Let's say I've intentionally wasted so much time "perfecting it". it's been done for 2 months.7
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When I was a kid I loved Microsoft because they built that thingy that I could play my computer games on. I learned how to reinstall the magical but fragile Windows out of necessity, instantly promoting me to the position of the family's computer whizz-kid.
Now I just see them as one of many shady international mega corporations who on behalf of their shareholders best interest (oh the irony) are fighting to gain power so that they one day may own the planet and basically rule over everything (yess, stocks reach all time high!) -
I have resigned from my current organisation. The HR guy here is kinda my friend. He asked me about my next organisation and my position there.
After listening to my reply, he asked my personal email id and forwarded his resume there.
The irony doesn't end here. The HR girl who was talking to me on behalf of the next organisation, told me today that tomorrow is her last day and introduced me to her colleague who will be my point of contact.
The HR people are so messed up. -
DevRant is so purely dedicated to ranting that if one has to talk about coding and development, he/she should tag it "off-topic".2
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I am currently working on a project with a team of 5. I like working at night. After committing my code, I sleep at 6. My team on waking up decides to change the UI and I have to start over again. The irony is: None of them are working with me on the frontend! Feels like I am stuck on a while(true) loop.2
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If you saw my last rant, you'll know how much I hate Calculus. I decided instead of trying to learn this foreign topic, I'd instead translate it into a language I DO understand: C. The irony is that we use Calculus so we can learn to code easier, but I'm using code to learn Calculus easier. Funny if you ask me.1
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That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
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I got travel advertisments on my Windows 10 lock screen. I didn't remember how to get rid of them, so I had to search for it again. I was lead to this piece of fine irony on my screen.
Staring at it felt like staring at the concept of art while it's staring back. This experience left me emotional.
Thank you Microsoft and Windows Central. Thank you art, life, and love. Thank you ads.
5 -
It's an irony in my case. Python is so simple and fast to implement that I end up doing all my projects ( web dev, ML, crawlers, etc.) But still I can't use Python for solving competitive programming. Python seems unknown if I don't have access to google. Way to go to learn Python. Though able to think Pythonic nowadays.. ;p3
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Mobile developers of the world. Hear my words. Two things: 1. Why is every mobile site nowadays specifically geared to being as nonfriendly to mobile devices as possible? You should probably remember that mobile devices are resource constrained much like early 00s PCs. Maybe we don't need the full HD 3 megapixel version of the image. And we definitely don't need those full screen scroll ad things. In fact, I am 100% less likely to purchase their product if you include these. Which sucks because Hidden Valley salad dressing is pretty good, but now I have to settle for Wishbone.
2. Maybe you don't need to gamify everything. (Looking at you Waze). Or maybe don't give points to everyone who has ever posted about that red light cam outside of my work. It has been there for thirty years. I don't need to be reminded 80 times because someone wants imaginary GPS points. Yes I realize the irony of posting about gamification on a gamified site. I am fine with this.2 -
Saw lots of regret posts about being in dev field. Then why bother living that way?
Not like engineering, medicine or business management fields, I believe programming needs passion similar to art related careers like acting, music and painting etc. So if you don't have any passion for programming, you won't be successful or satisfy at all.
That doesn't mean it is all good and happy days for every passionate programmers. We sure have ****ed up days (probably more than other fields.) Seriously that's why we have devrants. No? But it doesn't reach to the point of regret to me.
Here our national programming language is probably PHP. The pays are lower than your part-time fast food chain workers. The internet speed is in kbs with 2 digits most of the places. Government doesn't give a crap about IT. No IP copyright laws and so on. I probably would earn more and live better if I were not running this IT business.
But hell yeah I never regret at all.1 -
it was the last time i used PHP for an school project. i and an other group decided to make an website. it was luck that no input was required. Because i already knew PHP and HTML i need to help them. the code they made was the cause i quit php. the site only worked after an redirect. it was irony that tje code looked like it was written from a junkey and the theme was drugs.7
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The irony that goes along with smooth migrations on production is this.
If the migration is smooth, no one knows how much effort, careful planning and execution went into the whole process. They just get a for your information mail that everything went smooth. No one, not involved in the process would know the scale of things; or what could've happened if the transition/migration was screwed up.
On the other hand if there are problems during the process and the tech team fights back, they indeed are the heroes. No one notices the silent crusaders.
No wonder then that all superheroes just smash stuff. Its only then that people notice that they worked so hard. Silent superheroes remain dead. -
Okay, honst question:
What the fuck is up with all that self deprecation?
I am not talking about the usual irony that comes with certain stereotypes about being a developer.
I am talking about people telling themselves that they are unable to socialize, find a girlfriend or generally justifying bad things just because they belong to a certain group.
It's not the 80s. Software devs and nerds in general are not all social outcasts anymore. I don't understand how some people can just "accept their fate as a dev" and act as if anything is keeping them away from social success.
What's your take on this issue?18 -
Decided to install Linux for dev. Already crashed during install. Might as well just stick to Windows.4
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Not a rant but I kinda wanted to see if anyone else feels the same way and might have advice on how to overcome this:
So I work as a student in research. Meaning there is not much documentation and things are chaneging fast, some things are also fairly complicated.
I have a really good supervisor.
However. I am super scared of asking about how things work. Whenever we discuss things and she notices I'm insecure about how something works, she explains it to me patiently. No probs. But insead of asking I just try out random stuff for hours. Having no clue about how things work and what I'm doing. In the end she is able to explain the issue to me within a minute.
The thing is, I think that trying to figure stuff out on my own, is the right approach. Not daring to ask questions or express my theories is really bad. I get super anxcious. Most of the time my theories and assumptions are correct. I just never dare to voice them.
The irony is, that I'm perfectly fine whenever I talk about or hold presentations which are not CS related. But if I have to do that on a CS topic I just die. I freezze, stutter, everything.... T_T
Like come on. They can't do anything to me except correct me... jeez.2 -
The dating app "happn" allows you to report and block users, and among the options to choose from is "commercial profile". Happn also has a spam bot of their own, which sends you messages about discounts regularly. You can block and report their own bot as a commercial profile in order to stop it from spamming you.6
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I've a 2018 (or a 2^11 - 30 as one of my co-worker calls it) wish.
That we all stop hating and ranting to languages and start directing the dark force to people who misuses them.
Because those are the evil, not a bunch of lines, maintained by some poor fellows.
Except PHP.. PHP ducks (typo intended and irony banner up)6 -
Sometimes it feel like I'm being awkward, not awkward to normal people but awkward to awkward people. Something Like double awkward. The irony is that, I fucking know I'm being super weird. I just prey for that moment to pass as soon as possible.1
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As both a developer and consumer of a cellular phone service, the latest Sprint slogan "works for me" is unintentionally hilarious.
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So, I have a major deadline coming up and was writing some edge case tests when the gf calls.
I'm already in the "dog house" for beeing an obsesive twat lost in my thoughts and not listening to her so I decide to answer.
She called to vent about some coworker of hers and how she got screwed out of an advertising project.
The moment I heard "let me tell you what she said.." I instantly tuned her out, went into aha, yeah, aha mode and back to my tests (the irony is not lost on me).
Her: blablabla blablabla
Me: aha
Her: and then blablalba blabla bla
Me: wow, aha
This goes on for about 4-5 min up until I heard a change in the blabla pattern.
To self: Oh crap, that was a question!
To self: Wtf did she ask? Quick, say something!
Me: Uhm, yeah, of course!
Her: Yaaaaay, I love you! I'll get the tickets!
To self: aaaaaaaaw crap, what the fuck did I just agree to?!
Me: Sure thing! I'll see you tonight.
Hey everybody, guess who's going to London next week to spend four whole days with her old colledge artsy-fartsy-stoner friends?
I hate those assholes!4 -
The sheer irony of someone editing my SO question to "Fix bad grammar" and introducing even more bad grammar is hilarious.
You were there in SECONDS sir, props for that, Now unless you know your way around the Angular 4 view child system would you kindly fuck off? 🙃
(if you do know your way around aforementioned view child system and fancy a quick rep bump come save my sanity https://stackoverflow.com/questions...)
Edit - holy shit question has been up for 15 mins and its not at minus ten thousand, Tis the season!3 -
"Learn coding to make more money" ads are the funniest things ever. Like some underskilled graphic designer must've sat with his shitty laptop to design on a pirated software for a meagre wage, a poster that talked about how to earn more money.
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Oh the irony! Was checking my app’s crashes on fabric.io iOS app....
And you know what.. Fabric crashed! 🤣 😄 😄 -
Fuck the ISP and the incompetent retarded developers in the government!
The retarded ISP is injecting malware ads on all web pages which means if you access a non HTTPS site, you're gonna get fucked.
And the retarded government site still do not have HTTPS version for the websites!
The biggest irony is that this particular government site is for developers to register for courses ( paid ) about latest technologies.1 -
After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:
The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it. -
That moment you realize you're starting your shiny new feature by searching the Wayback Machine (web.archive.org) ... because the company you're integrating with no longer exists.2
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im not a php fan. like NO.
then i know this very rant runs php somewhere.
having mixed feelings right now 😐7 -
Programing courses in my country
Translation:
Learn PHP in only 2 hours and half without any prior knowledge
1 -
Yes you are. Not a single reason. Clearly no one. I am very surprised. This recruiter put in some very subtle irony and lots of effort (google "minutes in an hour")
3 -
The industry is sometimes sad and hilarious at the same time. There was a townhall at my workplace and our country head was talking about all the new tech we were working on. Now he is a good business person but I doubt him as a tech guy. And then he went on ranting about AI and ML and how they are to going change the software landscape and how developer as a profession will become obsolete. He said the technology will reach up to a point where we no longer need to write code to build software. Obviously, I couldn't digest it and confronted him the moment after the event.
Me: so why do you think writing code will become outdated?
Him: it's just that we will be able to create a technology through which we can simply command a machine to build a software.
Me: oh. But someone needs to tell the machine how to do it right?
Him: yes. We have to train the machine to act on these commands.
Me: and do you know how you "train" these machines?
Him: umm...
Me: by writing code.2 -
Easy one,
Got there for job Interview,
Then a 1week internship with another person,
After the week they called me upstairs and said I got the job.
Few Weeks later I signed the contract.
And no the other Person didn't get the job but is now in the Same school and class as me. Irony is a bitch... -
I've left my MacBook to technical assistance for the thrid time. I've bought it on December (the touchbar model, on day one, arrives on December). I paid a lot for it and since then I got s broken key on my keyboard and a faulty display.
Now I got my battery swollen.
Fucking Apple. At least I'm happy with the OS and everything when it's hardware-faults free.
Oh yeah and I switched to MacBook for the construction quality... Bitter irony.
I hope this is the last fucking time, damn.7 -
Company mail today:
If only I got paid to point out the ironies, I would live well, very well indeed!
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I hate society for multiple reasons.
Stay safe guys.
"And after the gunman was shot dead by police, they reportedly remarked on the nice top they were wearing."
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I live mainly on green tea and grissini(bread sticks). Ironically I have a very weak alcohol tolerance but caffeine never seems to have any effect, so i just drink greent tea because it soothes my nerves and tastes awesome while eating low calorie snacks... Another irony is that I'm fat... You would think such a healthy sounding life style would lead to a fit body. Then why the fuck am I still fat god ?! Do you want me to cycle for 50 km everyday for christs sake ??!!!!2
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This is from riot.im on my phone in Chrome. Somehow the rest of the site is fine, of all the places to fail at styling!
Also that's not very many languages to make a claim like that, I appreciate the effort but they've only got 1/2 languages there for me xD
2 -
WOW. Thanks devRant freesync linux users. Totally helpful. (IRONY)
Asked for one thing that would take few seconds to do and is totally safe. What do i get ?
NOTHING
I just needed EDID of freesync monitor but oh well i guess i will have to install Windows and edit it there somehow. For fuck sake look what have you done.
I NEED TO INSTALL FUCKING WINDOWS.
Do you know how much fucked up it is when Haxk20 says it ?
A FUCKING LOT.
And dont even try to tell me there arent any users like this. I know there are because i chatted with them but idk the username anymore38 -
It's Friday night and I should keep preparing for an online tech test I will be taking tomorrow.
But I want to just relax and watch my Amazon Prime subscription which I haven't had time for since I've been preparing all week...
The test is for Amazon.3 -
I wonder if IBM is aware of the irony in the fact that their application server is literally past tense?
#was -
Attempted to install MetaTrader 5 with wine on linux, loving the irony of "... please install using Window 7 ... trading requires maximum security" bahaha4
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I hate Mondays...
So, Yours truly, the multilingual flightless bird leaves his apartment... Locks door... Fucking key gets stuck in lock (had some attempted home invasion attempt last year, left a few things bent).
The last thing I can use today, important project to work on with a deadline close enough to worry about.
I would say that's a classic Error 500 on login kinda situation.
The irony? I fancy myself a pretty good lock picker(A must have for an aspiring pentester) .
Luckily, a quick squirt of gun oil resolved that one... Seriously, how do people manage without a supply of tools and stuff?2 -
Turned up on customer site yesterday to do a says SME work for them like I have done every week for last 3 months..
As I walk in they took a decision 15 mins earlier to power off the platform I'm working on to do a backup ( on a big data platform?) and its down till 13. 30...
Irony? The minute they finally let me turn it on New data arrives in the platform so their backup is out of date and they wouldn't need backups if they'd followed my original design and distributed it over two data centres....
Oh and they 'forgot' I was coming so there was little / nothing to do for the rest of the day either
Clients can be a PITA but I can't really complain.... Easy day though! -
So the other day i paid for the sitepoint/mapt bundle since i was eager to learn to setup a website i bought awhile back.
Yet buying from mapt seemed to have been a waste of time, first off no comfirmation email just a tiny pop up on their website, the website seemed a little poorly setup since for one i wasn't even aware i had access to all their content.
Afterwards i never got a coupon for site point which was something i was looking forward to, i used mapt stuff before and two of the ebooks that i spent lots of time invested into had issues that basically stopped me half way, thus wasting all of my time.
I emailed on friday about this coupon, and finally getting one on monday i created an account used the coupon and guess what "this coupon has been used already"
WTF is this shit?
So all in all the irony of a fucking website that has content to create websites from scratch and probably including automated emails to alleviate all of these issues that has yet to use any of these things!
I'm still in the middle of customer support trying to get a working coupon for the other half of the bundle i paid for. The hilarious thing is they want an order number from me, which i don't have at all due to no automated email for order confirmation. I guess i wait yet another two days to get crappy response.2 -
As a Java developer, I’m used to being verbose. Probably a little bit too used to being verbose.
My Literature teacher reflected on how verbose all my writing is, and I could not help but laugh at the irony. -
Android studio kept nagging on me to update to v3.3.1 for a month, upgraded yesterday, and today it wants to upgrade to 3.3.2 T_T
Irony at its best lol -
What the.. Apples member center (for managing iOS dev certificates and profiles) keeps crashing the whole Safari.
Safari restarted three times in 5 minutes now..?!
Appears to be some strange way of self-irony when the browser's developer builds a site provoking a quite critical bug though... x) -
Another manifestation of the irony of life:
I have a few intricate questions on StackOverflow, with a couple of upvotes. I fewer answers, also with a couple of upvotes.
But once, I posted a question due to pure sloppiness: I had forgotten to set up exception options in Visual Studio. That's my most upvoted SO question.4 -
This has nothing to do wiv developing stuff this site was created for. I just wanted to make a short public statement and there really isn't any place else to say it without the idea that some oik would infantalize it and make fun.
It goes under the heading of something like, "Personal Irony: I'm Not Codependent, I'm Just Trying to Help [Myself]!"
In 2016 I created a playlist that included REM's "Let Me In," Michael Stipe's song to Kurt Cobain. And "Head Down", and "Black Hole Sun," by Soundgarden. I have a good singing voice, I think it's a baritone. But those notes at the end of BHS, you know, "Won't you come?" When you sing it, you pronounce the lyric: WOAN CHOO CU-UH-UHM, the "UH-" dropping an octave into "UHM." It's particular to my range that dropping that note requires discipline and concentration. And even then I'd say I've sung it 100 times and nailed it to my satisfaction maybe twice. Anyway, I had these two songs as a playlist in my media player. I listened to them and sang along as quietly as I could, it being four a.m. here in Seattle. And as the final notes of BHS fragmented and skipped back into eternity, I felt like total shit. Not at all normal for me to personally feel the loss of an entertainer, but at that moment I did feel sad. That's it. Thanks for reading this odd little collection of words.1 -
The customer service dept at Koss Headphones sent me an adapter gratis for my Pro 4/AA headphones so I could listen to loud rock and roll on my pc. I've been using Koss exclusively since I rec'd a pair for Christmas in 1971. Despite the natural deterioration in sound quality on a PC, I found I could hear more on certain Rolling Stones soundboards [the ones in question are Philadelphia 1972 and New York City a week later]. So I penned a rather whimsical email to Michael Koss, who actually replied with a letter, the kind we used to lick stamps for and put in a mailbox.
OK, that PC died. And the HP I have somehow has a really loose jack so the whole mechanism will slide out if you move the least little bit. It happened so often I became shell shocked about listen to loud music on my headphones at night when my nabes were sleeping because I didn't want to wake anybody up.
Finally, after too much jiggling, the end bit of the adapter got stuck in the headphone jack. Koss sent me another adapter gratis. Last night, I got out my headphones, removed the new adapter from its envelope, and inserted tweezers into the jack to pull the broken off bit out.
Except the broken off bit slid deeper into the jack. On my own, I have been able to rig the pc so I can use the speakers. And a friend who can remove the bit of the jack stuck in the jack will be over in a couple of days.
I went online and googled the methods others have used to remove broken off bits. That was worth the keystrokes!
In any case, I just wanted to say something about the irony of expecting the problem to be over and then having a few days more to live with the broken bit. -
Irony - (noun) Switching to a new framework to do more with less code. Spending obscene amount of time and LOC to retrofit rest of the code to work with the said framework.
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new Suit() + new Developer() == interview() ;
The irony here is I usually wear casual to interviews6 -
Just learned the vue.js framework, which I think is really awesome - and now I gotta learn and work with WordPress for my current project. Oh the irony...
Hope WordPress isn't just as horrible as people on here make me think :(8 -
PrestaShop irony:
* Theirs modules have >3500 lines per class (eg. blocklayered.php)
* Theirs controllers have > 5000 lines and contains a LOT of html code inside
AND when I tried to add own module to theirs addons store they declined it because:
* I had unused $key var in foreach and this is "bad practice" as I was told
* In one hook I was returning 1 line of html code (i had to add global Js var) and they told me that I should put it into separate template file
-.-'2 -
I need 750++'s to get my avatar a pair of slippers that I got for free after quitting my job for which the shoes came free.
#include "irony.much"; -
So this semester I'm attending a class of Ethics and Deontology and the teacher who's lecturing it is the one who refused to anticipate an exam to a friend of mine(she was entitled to it) because he was on vacation. Besides that, he's always changing his mind, and his incoherent just to make us look like idiots. Can you smell the irony?
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I'm an idiot, almost
I needed a tablet for uni but I also wanted it to be quite powerful and with an OS I could actually get things done with (this precluded android and iOS)
I also am quite pricacy concerned but I never did much to prevent it
I ended up buying a surface pro, for its weight and power
joined with a mac at home and a google nexus in my hands... my privacy is fucked :)1 -
Deleted part of my build template for no good f-ing reason while trying to back it up -_- Of all the irony
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I sometimes feel like we are the godhead and then sometimes feel like we are at the bottom of the 21st century corporate ladder food chain.
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Am I allowed to ask tech questions? Because I can't get my fucking Acer to dual boot a Linux distribution. Tried mint and lxle. Both require I go into legacy mode to boot them from USB, so I can't install them that way... Any ideas?8
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Why the hell you write test¿ if you can write 8h a day perfect working code, everyday, without a mistake?
You just waste time doing that...
</irony> -
I just spent two hours in a workshop today, where the guy organizing the workshop was steamrolling everyone that we could not change anything in the software architecture.
Topic of the workshop: Architecture vision. -
"Want to learn more about building PROFESSIONAL sites with WordPress? Come to the free introduction class"
Oh the irony...
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