33
pda87
6y

"We need you to give 110% so that the total is greater than the sum of the parts... Eg: 1 + 1 > 2"
You're addressing a team who use logic to make you money. What the fuck are we supposed to do with this shit?
1 + 1 > 2?
false
Fuck off.

Comments
  • 3
    Hahaha that is great
  • 4
    @azous I mean, seriously, who comes up with this shit? I imagine a load of managers in a room, passing ideas around, "how can we motivate staff?" "I've got it: '1+1>2'" "Yes! That's genius! Our staff will love this and be extra-productive!"
  • 9
    A man in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost and spots a another man below. He shouts: “Can you help me? I promised to meet my friend half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

    The man below says: “You are in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

    “You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.

    “How did you know?” replies the man

    “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I am still lost.” says the balloonist

    The man below says “You must be a manager.”

    “I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

    “You don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, you expect me to solve your problems and you are in the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
  • 2
    @cjbatz nice one!

    It's somehow funny, if they want to send an apology email for a product decision mistake, they always start by blaming the technical team xD
  • 2
    @pda87 yeah, that is because dumb fucks are motivated by anything, you can tell them "dude the sun is up! Keep going!" and they will be hyped.
  • 2
    In physics 1+1<2 if you are talking about nuclei.
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