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NeatNerdPrime
6y

My life could get worse, but it's really shitty now.

Suffering from a serious back injury since last year, my health has been not so positieve lately.
It put a toll on my mood, which in turn asked it's price regarding my relationship. Needless to say that did not go well. Already a fe months single but we kept in touch.

Three days ago my back injury returned, and was unable to lead a normal life. Constant pain, coyld not even move in the house. Even going to the toilet was a terrible experience because when you move, you're in a world of pain.

I asked my ex girlfriend to help me, since she was the only one having a key to my house.

When she arrived i hoped to have some moral support and to help me mive around, ensuring i would not injure myself any more.

Instead i received the cold shoulder. When she wanted to help pe up she did it a bit too hard and the pain sheered thrpughout my body. Screaming in pain.

She promptly left, leaving keys behind.

The hardest part is that she just left without me being able to explain clearly why i screamed. She thought i was yelling at her while in reality i was yelling due to the immense pain.

After that i had to cut ties forever. Tabula rasa. So i removed everything that is related to that time and locked it in my vault.

Since then i can hardly focus, my mibd is numb and i cannot think straight. The alcohol and other sedatives are probably also involved, but still i feel my life is a mountain of depressing shit.

Needed to vent. And yes i post this because i have a need for some understanding, yes for now i crave for some attention and some encouraging, supportive words. I'm left With no other options since the person i wanted it from the most has simply left... And the fact i am unable to actually be social outside...

Fuck friends and relationships, right?

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Comments
  • 3
    6y
    Go see a doctor and get strong pain relief? And it's not too late to tell her why you screamed.
  • 5
    6y
    That's shit mate. I hope you get better. As for the ex-gf you don't need to explain anything. She's clearly not a decent human being. If she was, then she wouldve stayed by your side during the bad times and wouldn't give you the cold shoulder when you needed the help.
  • 1
    6y
    Ask yourself this: if she had an injury like yours... Would you have left her and gave her the cold shoulder?
  • 2
    6y
    Hey man, I wish you all the best. It sounds like you're in need of some care and pain relief, you should see what options you have available. Getting some help around the house means you'll also get some company while you're going through this.

    Keep us posted
  • 1
    6y
    alright i just ++d this rant because of the last sentence
  • 3
    6y
    1. Get to hospital
    2. Meet doctor and get mediciation
    3. Take a rest
    4. Start thinking what to do next about relationship and other stuff
  • 2
    6y
    When you become sick or injured, this is a good exercise of how life will become when we become old. The one that gives the cold shoulder will be our children.

    This is why we must to be able to cheer for ourselves and love our own self, enjoy the company of one. We really don't need anybody. Get stronger painkillers and watch all the movies / documentaries you have been intending to watch!
  • 2
    6y
    Hmmm I would like to be helpful except this:

    "The hardest part is that she just left without me being able to explain clearly why i screamed. She thought i was yelling at her while in reality i was yelling due to the immense pain.

    After that i had to cut ties forever. Tabula rasa. So i removed everything that is related to that time and locked it in my vault."

    Your reaction to her reaction is to cut ties forever? To say fuck it I don't care about her any more? and yet you fault her for perhaps having a similar reaction to your neediness? This says to me that you don't have any perspective on how she relates to you, you only care about how you relate to her. It sounds like you are in a shitty situation and I hope things improve but on this particular interaction I am on her side.
  • 1
    6y
    Get some weed...
    If the injury is not bones related (muscular, nerves) it helps a lot.
    I traded opium based pills for weed when I was injured (same situation, 1 year without moving, injections in the ass 3x a day, and I was lucky with the girlfriend I had back then, she was my nurse).
    Traded all opium pills for weed...
    Not as strong but relaxes the muscles, meaning it's an analgesic and it's also helping recover.
  • 1
    6y
    Check a chiropractor if you havent already. They can do wonders with body aches and pains.
  • 4
    6y
    Wow, that sucks.. As others have already suggested, go see a doc. Or get one to come to your place.

    I truly hope you'll sort it out.

    As for the girl - don't worry. If she couldn't handle you in illness, what does that tell you about how serious she was?

    Don't worry. It'll pass. Later you'll remember these days with a smile 'damn was I desperate back then' :) things will get better. They always do while we're young.

    The injury will come back to you at your old age with a mother fucking heavy artilery, that's for sure. But for now you'll be fine
  • 1
    6y
    OP, where do you live?
    You definitely need to do as you were told here.
    I have a returning back pain and can relate at least to some degree.

    1. Get to a hospital. Visit a doctor. Get meds.
    If you can't, look for OTC meds that are painkillers and learn how to use them without killing your liver. You can look for cough medicines that contain codeine, its a painkiller in highier doses. Its available without prescription in most countries. Weed might also help you if its legal where you live. I won't advice anything illegal, your life, decisions and responsibility after all.
    2. Get rest, see a chiropractor or at least back massage from a professional, the one sport people have.
    3. Do exercises targeted at your back pain. It is related to weak muscles, so strengthening them and making them more flexible will help.
    4. Get yourself a life. Tinder or something. But first - get well.
  • 0
    6y
    @NeatNerdPrime
    I have a fucked up back too, and I can totally understand the pain (especially the going to toilet bit) - been there myself though I think mine was not as bad as yours.

    It's not worth living through it, just go to a doctor and/or a physiotherapist (depending on the kind of injury). I went to the former and then the latter, now after a lot of very careful exercise and some medication I can move around with reasonable comfort. Hope you get to this stage too.

    I also understand why you may not want to use painkillers (to not over-stress your back). Use your judgement here, but they aren't as bad as one might think.

    I would also tell you to fix your back first, and then your relationships, but I guess it's not as simple as that. All I can do is agree with the others for this bit.
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