What do you do when your family time conflicts with your work time? What can I do to rotate my work schedule forward so I can get some fucking sleep without giving up on either work or my family?

This sucks, I get like 5 hours of sleep at night and my job wants me to be here no later than 9 for whatever reason.

Not to mention my commute is about 45-60 minutes both ways

Not to mention I'm making just enough money to cover my bases. Going to Costa Rica for a vacation is no where near my ability.. hell even driving across the state for a weekend trip would be wildly out of budget.

I've tried asking for a flexible schedule and ability to work from home as needed but its just become a circular debate.
I'm getting burned out and always feel tired, have no energy to stay motivated or give a shit

  • 4
    If shifting the work hours is out of the question (coming in later and leaving later) then look for a different workplace and let your current employer know that you're on your way out so they can start looking for a replacement (in best case you won't have to leave as this will finally get some things moving and they'll finally adjust your schedule). Your health is more important - you've brought this topic up before but have gotten nowhere, either you have to give up one of the two or find a new work place willing to work with you.
  • 4
    When they are in conflict,family time always comes first. I’ve heard it from all sorts of people; single, married, with kids, without kids, just pets. Not once have I ever heard people say work comes first. I’d take that piece of wisdom seriously.
  • 2
    Family always comes first, they will always support you and you are very dear to them, but in work you can just simply be "replaced" ... I recommend you change workplace or work from home if possible.
  • 3
    @theKarlisK thanks for the advice @evilcoder I'm loyal and I want things to work, everything about this company I consider dream job level, my biggest challenge is my mind and my schedule. I'll just be persistent. It's okay if they fire me, at least I didn't give up if that's the case. Historically yes, I would leave a job at a whim.. but.. do you know how many people, family members, close friends and what not I've told that I refuse to quit this time? I'll see it through to the end, for once.

    I don't want to let myself or them down. Parents are getting older. I have to work in discomfort until something better happens? Idk
  • 2
    @anolis that's the attitude - prepare for victory, plan for defeat. You've done what you could to try and negotiate better schedule but they've been dragging their feet or even ignoring you... as it was mentioned above - everyone is replacable, however, it takes effort and change in personel also requires knowlege transfer, all of which can result in downtime and delays... so they'll be more likely to work with you when they'll reallize this (or not if they're smart as a rock).
  • 1
    I worked myself very near burnout. You can damage your mental health in a way that doesn’t go away for a long time. I had a two week tropical vacation and near the middle I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself. Pain from was so bad I was ready to jump from the 16th floor of the hotel. My gut wrenches thinking about it. I am paying for it too with my health and marriage.

    Knowledge work is impossible for someone that doesn’t do it to understand. There is a mental bruising and an exhaustion that comes with it if you are being mismanaged. So maybe you need to quit having your manager. Maybe you quit your commute. The people that care about you would rather have you than a lofty success story and a hollow husk. That is why they get upset about your degrading relationship. You aren’t a human resource: you are a person. You need to sustain instead of getting used up.
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