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Client: Our meeting is going to be on March 27th at 9am. Clear your schedules and add it to your calendar.
Me: I'm not sure why this wasn't cleared with me, but I'm 3 hours behind you guys and that will be 6am for me. If you want to have a meeting at that time, I'll be sleeping.
Client: We start our days early, so we need you to make yourself available at that time. We have other stuff on our agenda so this is the time it will be taking place.
Me: I will not, repeat will not be available at that time. I have the 29th and 30th available at that time, but any day before that will have to be scheduled at 1pm or later. Mondays however are a no go. We have standing appointments on Mondays that we cannot reschedule.
Client: Monday, April 2nd at 9am is the new time. Please clear that time.
Our Company owner: we just said Mondays are a no go.
Client: we're getting frustrated that you are not being flexible with your schedule. Here is what you are going to do. Give us a calendar with every day and time you have available and we'll tell you what works.
Owner: We just gave you a bunch of dates. We're the ones trying to be flexible while you've been dictating what time's we've been available. That's not how this works. Mondays aren't happening. The 27th isn't happening because I'm not going to expect my developer to get up at 6am because it's convenient for you. This is a not a one way street. Let us know when you're ready to find a date and time that works for all of us.
----
This is the same guy I argue with on a daily basis and tell to fuck off when he's being a douche, but when it matters, he's pretty badass dude.8 -
Worst dev team failure I've experienced?
One of several.
Around 2012, a team of devs were tasked to convert a ASPX service to WCF that had one responsibility, returning product data (description, price, availability, etc...simple stuff)
No complex searching, just pass the ID, you get the response.
I was the original developer of the ASPX service, which API was an XML request and returned an XML response. The 'powers-that-be' decided anything XML was evil and had to be purged from the planet. If this thought bubble popped up over your head "Wait a sec...doesn't WCF transmit everything via SOAP, which is XML?", yes, but in their minds SOAP wasn't XML. That's not the worst WTF of this story.
The team, 3 developers, 2 DBAs, network administrators, several web developers, worked on the conversion for about 9 months using the Waterfall method (3~5 months was mostly in meetings and very basic prototyping) and using a test-first approach (their own flavor of TDD). The 'go live' day was to occur at 3:00AM and mandatory that nearly the entire department be on-sight (including the department VP) and available to help troubleshoot any system issues.
3:00AM - Teams start their deployments
3:05AM - Thousands and thousands of errors from all kinds of sources (web exceptions, database exceptions, server exceptions, etc), site goes down, teams roll everything back.
3:30AM - The primary developer remembered he made a last minute change to a stored procedure parameter that hadn't been pushed to production, which caused a side-affect across several layers of their stack.
4:00AM - The developer found his bug, but the manager decided it would be better if everyone went home and get a fresh look at the problem at 8:00AM (yes, he expected everyone to be back in the office at 8:00AM).
About a month later, the team scheduled another 3:00AM deployment (VP was present again), confident that introducing mocking into their testing pipeline would fix any database related errors.
3:00AM - Team starts their deployments.
3:30AM - No major errors, things seem to be going well. High fives, cheers..manager tells everyone to head home.
3:35AM - Site crashes, like white page, no response from the servers kind of crash. Resetting IIS on the servers works, but only for around 10 minutes or so.
4:00AM - Team rolls back, manager is clearly pissed at this point, "Nobody is going fucking home until we figure this out!!"
6:00AM - Diagnostics found the WCF client was causing the server to run out of resources, with a mix of clogging up server bandwidth, and a sprinkle of N+1 scaling problem. Manager lets everyone go home, but be back in the office at 8:00AM to develop a plan so this *never* happens again.
About 2 months later, a 'real' development+integration environment (previously, any+all integration tests were on the developer's machine) and the team scheduled a 6:00AM deployment, but at a much, much smaller scale with just the 3 development team members.
Why? Because the manager 'froze' changes to the ASPX service, the web team still needed various enhancements, so they bypassed the service (not using the ASPX service at all) and wrote their own SQL scripts that hit the database directly and utilized AppFabric/Velocity caching to allow the site to scale. There were only a couple client application using the ASPX service that needed to be converted, so deploying at 6:00AM gave everyone a couple of hours before users got into the office. Service deployed, worked like a champ.
A week later the VP schedules a celebration for the successful migration to WCF. Pizza, cake, the works. The 3 team members received awards (and a envelope, which probably equaled some $$$) and the entire team received a custom Benchmade pocket knife to remember this project's success. Myself and several others just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, my manager pulls several of us into a conference room
Me: "What the hell? This is one of the biggest failures I've been apart of. We got rewarded for thousands and thousands of dollars of wasted time."
<others expressed the same and expletive sediments>
Mgr: "I know..I know...but that's the story we have to stick with. If the company realizes what a fucking mess this is, we could all be fired."
Me: "What?!! All of us?!"
Mgr: "Well, shit rolls downhill. Dept-Mgr-John is ready to fire anyone he felt could make him look bad, which is why I pulled you guys in here. The other sheep out there will go along with anything he says and more than happy to throw you under the bus. Keep your head down until this blows over. Say nothing."11 -
More sysadmin focused but y’all get this stuff and I need a rant.
TLDR: Got the wrong internship.
Start working as a sysadmin/dev intern/man-of-many-hats at a small finance company (I’m still in school). Day 1: “Oh new IT guy? Just grab a PC from an empty cubicle and here’s a flash drive with Fedora, go ahead and manually install your operating system. Oh shit also your desktop has 2g of ram, a core2 duo, and we scavenged your hard drive for another dev so just go find one in the server room. And also your monitor is broken so just take one from another cubicle.”
Am shown our server room and see that someone is storing random personal shit in there (golf clubs propped against the server racks with heads mixed into the cabling, etc.). Ask why the golf clubs etc. are mixed in with the cabling and server racks and am given the silent treatment. Learn later that my boss is the owners son, and he is storing his personal stuff in our server room.
Do desktop support for end users. Another manager asks for her employees to receive copies of office 2010 (they’re running 2003 an 2007). Ask boss about licensing plans in place and upgrade schedules, he says he’ll get back to me. I explain to other manager we are working on a licensing scheme and I will keep her informed.
Next day other manager tells me (*the intern*) that she spoke with a rich business friend whose company uses fake/cracked license keys and we should do the same to keep costs down. I nod and smile. IT manager tells me we have no upgrade schedule or licensing agreement. I suggest purchasing an Office 365 subscription. Boss says $150 a year per employee is too expensive (Company pulls good money, has ~25 employees, owner is just cheap) I suggest freeware alternatives. Other manager refuses to use anything other than office 2010 as that is what she is familiar with. Boss refuses to spend any money on license keys. Learn other manager is owners wife and mother of my boss. Stalemate. No upgrades happen.
Company is running an active directory Windows Server 2003 instance that needs upgrading. I suggest 2012R2. Boss says “sure”. I ask how he will purchase the license key and he tells me he won’t.
I suggest running an Ubuntu server with LDAP functionality instead with the understanding that this will add IT employee hours for maintenance. Bosses eyes glaze over at the mention of Linux. The upgrade is put off.
Start cleaning out server room of the personal junk, labeling server racks and cables, and creating a network map. Boss asks what I’m doing. I show him the organized side of the server room and he says “okay but don’t do any more”.
... *sigh* ...20 -
Attack is the best defence! I read my emails in the morning and figure out whether there's some action for me. When I go and get my second coffee, I drop by the PM's office and have a short chat with him.
Where I am in the projects, whether there's stuff from other tasks or unexpected actions, how long that might take, whether schedules are still OK, whether I need him to take care of some customer communication, these things. Usually less than 5 minutes.
The kicker is that he mostly doesn't interrupt me because I instead interrupt him - unless he is highly busy, in which case he just says "sorry, later", same as I would do.
It's a win-win because I can schedule the interruptions while he enjoys that he doesn't have to ask around.5 -
About a year ago, I did an e-commerce for a client who wanted to sell electronic goods. It was a custom design, so the team prepared a mock-up and we showed it to the client who absolutely loved it. The specs were that he was going to sell only a few products (like 50 or so) so the website had to showcase the categories and didn't need to put a lot of products on page. Also the design had to be unique as he wanted to be different from his competitors.
A few weeks later, during the dev phase the client checks again the design and starts doubting about it. We redesign it adjusting to his oppinion. A week later he schedules a meeting where he starts complaining that the deadline is late and that the design doesn't accomplish his specs. At that meeting he tells us that he wants to sell thousands of articles since he's doing dropshipping.
We start from scratch and make a third design, which he approves after quite a lot of changes. He also asks for a dropshipping plugin which we install in its free version, when he complains about having to update manually, we answer politely that he has to purchase the paid version.
Fast forward, we deploy the website and the design has a few issues related to responsive development. We fix it quickly and the site starts working.
He also has a physical shop, however, since he's competing with big corporates like Amazon or eBay and he can't offer any difference, neither his phisical address or his on-line shop manages to be profitable.
He decides to close the business but before, he calls my PM saying that the website has "never worked" (There were a couple of people who bought with 0 issues and we tested the site countless times). And that we shouldn't have recommended a custom design because the website never worked. He also implied that we should compensate him because of that.
I've never seen my PM to tell someone to "fuck off" as fast as he did.6 -
Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".
You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.
Why should we hire you?
F*ck you, pay me, that's why.
You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.
I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.
Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."
But I was already out the door.
You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?
Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.
What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?
You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.
No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"
No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.
Think mark, think!
This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.
And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.
Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.
Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?
You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.
Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.
Would you like fries with that?86 -
I applied to a backend position that requested one of the following technologies: PHP, Java or .NET ( I work on .net btw)
So far so good, the hr recruiter schedules a talk and ask a lot of standard questions like what is your greatest accomplishment, what is good code and so on.
After what seemed to be about an hour of questioning she then tells me that I am to take a technical test from backend javascript. I pause for a second and I specifically tell her, lady, the ad said .NET, Java or PHP, wtf? And she tells me, no worries, we will train you. You can imagine that I completely blew the technical interview to later get an email that my knowledge (in javascript) is not sufficient for the position. Gg guys, good company values :))1 -
When your boss schedules you for training all week, then asks you why you're in training and gets onto you for not doing your normal tasks... ??? I don't know what I'm doing...!1
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I've found sites like Udemy/Khanacademy/Codecademy/Brilliant/Edx to be very useful — possibly more useful than expensive education.
But they still need:
1. Better correction/update mechanisms. Human teachers make mistakes and material gets outdated, and while online teachers are rectified faster than classroom teachers, the procedure is still not optimal. Knowledge should be a bit more like a verified wiki.
2. Some have great interactive coding environments, some have great videos, some have awesome texts, some have helpful communities. None has it all. In the end, I don't want to learn a new language by writing code in my browser. It could all be integrated/synced to the point where IDEs have plugins which are synced to online videos, with tests and exercises built in, up to a social network where you could send snippets for review and add reviews to other people's code.
3. Accreditation. Some platforms offer this against payment, but I think those platforms often feel very old school (pun intended), with fixed schedules, marks and enrollments. Self paced is a must.
4. Depth is important. Current online courses are often a bit introductory. We need more advanced courses about algorithms, theoretical computer science, code design, relational algebra, category theory, etc. I get that it's about supply/demand, but we will eventually need to have those topics covered.
I do believe that for CS, full online education will eventually win from the classroom — it's still in its infancy, but has more potential to grow into correct, modern education.10 -
Ticket: Add <feature> to <thing>. It works in <other things> so just copy it over. Easy.
Thing: tangled, over-complicated mess.
Feature: tangled and broken, and winds much too deep to refactor. Gets an almost-right answer by doing lots of things that shouldn't work but somehow manage to.
I write a quick patch that avoids the decent into madness and duplicates the broken behavior in a simple way for consistency and ease of fixing later. I inform my boss of my findings and push the code.
He gets angry and mildly chews me out for it. During the code review, he calls my patch naive, and says the original feature is obviously not broken or convoluted. During the course of proving me wrong, he has trouble following it, and eventually finds out that it really is broken -- and refuses to admit i was right about any of it. I'm still in trouble for taking too long, doing it naively, and not doing it correctly.
He schedules a meeting with product to see if we should do it correctly. He tells product to say no. Product says no. He then tells me to duplicate the broken behavior. ... which I already did.
At this point I'm in trouble for:
1) Taking too long copying a simple feature over.
2) Showing said feature is not simple, but convoluted and broken.
3) Reimplementing the broken feature in a simpler way.
4) Not making my new implementation correct despite it not working anywhere else, and despite how that would be inconsistent.
Did everything right, still in the wrong.
Also, they decided I'm not allowed to fix the original, that it should stay broken, and that I should make sure it's broken here, too.
You just have to admire the sound reasoning and mutual respect on display. Best in class.19 -
That moment when your manager tells you that he's okay with ultra-flexible schedules, because "I trusts you 100%. You proved your value, please come late if you prefer"
I love my job11 -
About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
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PM: Your code bombs! It’s supposed to put a link to the schedule here!
2 minutes earlier:
PM: *runs code with malformed data and two cancelled schedules*2 -
Fuck our new project manager.
Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.
Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!
Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!
By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.
Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.
But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.
So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.5 -
The worst part of hackathons are schedules which leaves no time for actual coding!
I was once at 2 day event. Day 1 contained an intro lecture, 'getting to know your team' exercise, idea generation phase, idea feedback from industry people, mandatory coffee breaks, and a little bit of coding at the end.
Day 2 consisted of 'adding thet final touches to your hack', a random lecture from the company hosting the event, info from the judges on how to pitch, a trial run of the pitch and then the final pitches...
I barely think we got to code for 3 hours.4 -
The devrant april fools actually got me, completely stopped for a second and had to look three times, until realizing the date, I already thought my sleep schedules are coming to get me1
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Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?
Migrated to SharePoint 2016 which included Reporting Services, and trying to fix a bug in the reporting services scheduler, I created a report (aka, copied an existing one) 'A Klingon Walks Into a Bar', so it would first in the list and distinct enough so the QA testers would (hopefully) leave it alone.
The PM for the project calls me.
PM: "What is this Klingon report? It looks like a copy of the daily inventory report"
Me: "It is. The reporting service job keeps crashing on certain reports that have daily execution schedules."
PM: "I need you to delete it"
Me: "What? Why? The report is on the dev sharepoint site. I named the report so it was unique and be at the top of the list so I can find it easily."
PM: "The name doesn't conform to our standards and it's confusing the testers."
Me: "The testers? You mean Dan, you, and Heather?"
PM: "Yes, smartass. Can you name the report something like daily inventory report 2, or something else?"
Me: "I could, but since this is in development, no. You've already proofed out the upgrade. You're waiting on me to fix this sharepoint bug. Why do you care what I do on this server? It's going away after the upgrade."
PM: "Yea, about that. We like having the server. It gives us a place to test reports. Would really appreciate it if you would rename or delete that report."
Me: "A test sharepoint reporting services server out of scope, so no, we're not keeping it."
PM: "Having a server just for us would be nice."
Me: "$10,000 nice? We're kinda fudging on the licensing now. If we're keeping it, we will be required to be in compliance. That's a server license, sharepoint license, sql server license, and the dedicated hardware. We talked about that, remember?"
PM: "Why is keeping that report so important to you? I don't want to explain to a VP what a Klingon is."
Me: "I'm not keeping the report or moving it to production. When I figure out the problem, I'll delete the report. OK?"
PM: "I would prefer you delete the report before a VP sees it."
Me: "Why would a VP be looking? They probably have better things to do."
PM: "Jeff wants to see our progress, I'll have to him the site, and he'll see the report."
Me: "OK? You tell Jeff it's a report I'm working on, I'll explain what a Klingon is, Jeff will call me a nerd, and we all move on."
PM: "I'm not comfortable with this upgrade."
Me: "What does that mean?"
PM: "I asked for something simple and I can't be responsible for the consequences. I'll be documenting this situation as a 'no-go' for deployment"
Me: "Oookaayyy?"
I figured out the bug, deleted the 'Klingon' report, and the PM couldn't do anything to delay the deployment.4 -
Everyone is remote working and executives keep telling non-technical to push their communications into shared channels in Microsoft Teams.
It forces analysts and managers to ask questions plainly. They are getting developer input quickly so aren’t wasting time on in-person meetings. The higher ups see how little many produce. Developers are busy churning out software as usual and responding to technical questions.
Our CEO said something in a channel that suggested he is considering downsizing the management and adding more developers. 😱 The response was that analysts and managers packed the developer schedules with online meetings and are trying to initiate more documentation work.3 -
When you're a bored college student tired of hearing your boss complain about making the schedule every week so you code a program that sorts each employee into their job categories, stores the days they aren't allowed to work (due to other jobs and or class schedules), the time of day they can't work and any days requested off. Then analyzes who's available for each shift throughout the week alongside categorizing each day of the week by the amount of employees needed and prints a perfect schedule for her to use that week3
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My mom bought my very Italian boyfriend an espresso maker for his birthday. He bought the best Italian espresso grounds he could find here in Germany, and we just had a cup at 10pm (our sleep schedules are fucked up).
I've had a lot of coffee and a lot of espresso in my life, but right now I feel like if I jumped hard enough I could fucking fly. I feel like bashing my head through my computer screen for no particular reason. I feel like I could divide by zero and be OK.
Holy shit you Italians are fucking crazy.11 -
By all means I've learned most of the cool stuff with a lil project me and my bro did. It was a platform for bot farm of one mmorpg. It had it all: schedules, profiles, bot groups, monitoring, analytical module [was still a wip], auto-profiling to fight antibot [sort of ML - it was analyzing patterns after our bots got banned and attempted to change our bots behaviour], etc.
Eventualy we came up to conclusion that a library we used for botting [the mocked interaction with an actor] was flawed. It seemed that its authors had a contract or smth with the game authors to reveal which actors are bots. We dropped the whole thing as rewriting the lib would be too big of a waste of time :\7 -
The new regime our PM took on this morning with a newly hired, and still mentally sound dev.
"We will solve bugs for an hour everyday"
FTW11 -
>site is production ready
>client requests new feature by end of week
>add feature and then site breaks on last day of week
>client freaks out even though we warned this is what happens when you add new features DURING LAUNCH WEEK1 -
Not been a good day so far:
1. Woke up to my Synology in a 'Volume crashed' state. Tried to contact support via web page; support web page not loading.
2. Ancient software at work stops working. As the last remaining C++ dev, I gotta troubleshoot. Original developer wrote test program...in VB6.
3. Server config file changed, but all the admins swear up and down nobody's made any changes.
4. Client calls account rep and wants to know about our security policies, so he schedules a meeting with me and client and forgets to mention until he's emailing me asking where the hell I am. From the tone of the conversation between the rep and the client, it's clear that somehow I'm to blame for being late.
Sigh.
Well, hey, at least it's Friday, right? Right?1 -
I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.
And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.
Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.
Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.
No, neither of those broke me.
The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...
WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS
I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL
IS IT TO MUCH ?????
FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS
FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.
AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS
AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??
GO TO HELL MICROSOFT
I WANT MY LINUX BACK6 -
When the PM schedules you for 160 hours in an 80 hour sprint... I didn't enjoy living my life anyways, apparently. FMDL.3
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More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?
Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.
Fucking assholes.1 -
Fun fact: banks won't let me take loans. Any kind of loans.
Why? It's not because I have a history of missing payment schedules. It's because I NEVER had a credit card or loans — I paid for everything with cold hard cash my whole life. But it all changed when I fried a charging controller on my laptop, so I needed a new one fast. I was in between jobs then. So, I took a loan for a new laptop, one thousand dollars, a large sum for me back then. I found a job and covered that loan ahead of schedule, in three months instead of one year. In total, my bank made a mere $5 off of me.
Banks now know I won't bring any kind of interest in whatsoever, as I never miss my payments. So, they decided to quit on me completely.
That's a proof that banks don't want you to pay on time — they want you to delay your payments and let your interest build up, so you're forced to take new loans to cover old ones. They want you to pay interest forever, having barely enough money to cover interest, but not the loan itself.
17 -
Working on an Android app for a client who has a dev team that is developing a web app in with ember js / rails. These folks are "in charge" of the endpoints our app needs to function. Now as a native developer, I'm not a hater of a web apps way of doing things but with this particular app their dev teams seems to think that all programming languages can parse json as dynamically as javascript...
Exhibit A:
- Sample Endpoint Documentation
* GetImportantInfo
* Params: $id // id of info to get details of
* Endpoint: get-info/$id
* Method: GET
* Entity Return {SampleInfoModel}
- Example API calls in desktop REST client
* get-info/1
- response
{
"a" : 0,
"b" : false,
"c" : null
}
* get-info/2
- response
{
"a" : [null, "random date stamp"],
"b" : 3.14,
"c" : {
"z" : false,
"y" : 0.5
}
}
* get-info/3
- response
{
"a" : "false" // yes as a string
"b" : "yellow"
"c" : 1.75
}
Look, I get that js and ruby have dynamic types and a string can become a float can become a Boolean can become a cat can become an anvil. But that mess is very difficult to parse and make sense of in a stack that relies on static types.
After writing a million switch statements with cases like "is Float" or "is String" from kotlin's Any type // alias for java.Object, I throw my hands in the air and tell my boss we need to get on the phone with these folks. He agrees and we schedules a day that their main developer can come to our shop to "show us the ropes".
So the day comes and this guy shows up with his mac book pro and skinny jeans. We begin showing him the different data types coming back and explain how its bad for performance and can lead to bugs in the future if the model structure changes between different call params. He matter of factually has an epiphany and exclaims "OHHHHHH! I got you covered dawg!" and begins click clacking on his laptop to make sense of it all. We decide not to disturb him any more so he can keep working.
3 hours goes by...
He burst out of our conference room shouting "I am the greatest coder in the world! There's no problem I can't solve! Test it now!"
Weary, we begin testing the endpoints in our REST clients....
His magic fix, every single response is a quoted string of json:
example:
- old response
{
"foo" : "bar"
}
- new "improved" response
"{ \"foo\" : \"bar\" }"
smh....8 -
PM schedules deployment on a Friday... I address my concern about deploying on Fridays, I am assured it won't happen again since it is a special occasion. Next week's Friday... "Guys we need the remaining tasks on jira by today, client wants the app on production by today". smh1
-
Business logic:
Meeting starts at 9:45 AM. They only really wanna talk about the features they have on the horizon and how innovative and distruptive and rich we'll be. We spend 10, maybe 15 minutes talking about UI and details of the feaure. The meeting ends a few minutes before 12, so that's 2 hours of lunch (I wanna respect the schedules we had pre-covid to keep that rhythm). I start working again at 2 PM, but 15 minutes later, I get called again by one of the managers to hear more about this new great new idea they have.
So I work about 7-9 hours a day. But HR and management want to spend 3 of those hours. Suggestion: we'd improve our productivity by about 35% if we cut those daily meetings.6 -
So an app I use for real-time train schedules broke last week and the official app is really slow, UI is bloated/bad devs.
I figured out the HTTP calls so started writing my own, spent 2 days and basic functionality works but...
Now the other app is working again...
Feels like wasted effort now :(2 -
TL;DR; do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.
They say verbalising it makes it less painful. So I guess I'll try to do just that. Because it still hurts, even though it happened many years ago.
I was about to finish college. As usual, the last year we have to prepare a project and demonstrate it at the end of the year. I worked. I worked hard. Many sleepless nights, many nerves burned. I was making an android app - StudentBuddy. It was supposed to alleviate students' organizational problems: finding the right building (city plans, maps, bus schedules and options/suggestions), the right auditorium (I used pictures of building evac plans with classes indexed on them; drawing the red line as the path to go to find the right room), having the schedule in-app, notifications, push-notifications (e.g. teacher posts "will be 15 minutes late" or "15:30 moved to aud. 326"), homework, etc. Looots of info, loooots of features. Definitely lots of time spent and heaps of new info learned along the way.
The architecture was simple. It was a server-side REST webapp and an Android app as a client. Plenty of entities, as the system had to cover a broad spectrum of features. Consequently, I had to spin up a large number of webmethods, implement them, write clients for them and keep them in-sync. Eventually, I decided to build an annotation processor that generates webmethods and clients automatically - I just had to write a template and define what I want generated. That worked PERFECTLY.
In the end, I spun up and implemented hundreds of webmethods. Most of them were used in the Android app (client) - to access and upsert entities, transition states, etc. Some of them I left as TBD for the future - for when the app gets the ADMIN module created. I still used those webmethods to populate the DB.
The day came when I had to demonstrate my creation. As always, there was a commission: some high-level folks from the college, some guests from businesses.
My turn to speak. Everything went great, as reversed. I present the problem, demonstrate the app, demonstrate the notifications, plans, etc. Then I describe at high level what the implementation is like and future development plans. They ask me questions - I answer them all.
I was sure I was going to get a 10 - the highest score. This was by far the most advanced project of all presented that day!
Other people do their demos. I wait to the end patiently to hear the results. Commission leaves the room. 10 minutes later someone comes in and calls my name. She walks me to the room where the judgement is made. Uh-oh, what could've possibly gone wrong...?
The leader is reading through my project's docs and I don't like the look on his face. He opens the last 7 pages where all the webmethods are listed, points them to me and asks:
LEAD: What is this??? Are all of these implemented? Are they all being used in the app?
ME: Yes, I have implemented all of them. Most of them are used in the app, others are there for future development - for when the ADMIN module is created
LEAD: But why are there so many of them? You can't possibly need them all!
ME: The scope of the application is huge. There are lots of entities, and more than half of the methods are but extended CRUD calls
LEAD: But there are so many of them! And you say you are not using them in your app
ME: Yes, I was using them manually to perform admin tasks, like creating all the entities with all the relations in order to populate the DB (FTR: it was perfectly OK to not have the app completed 100%. We were encouraged to build an MVP and have plans for future development)
LEAD: <shakes his head in disapproval>
LEAD: Okay, That will be all. you can return to the auditorium
In the end, I was not given the highest score, while some other, less advanced projects, were. I was so upset and confused I could not force myself to ask WHY.
I still carry this sore with me and it still hurts to remember. Also, I have learned a painful life lesson: do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that. -
I have tried hard to show my ex boss a better way to build web apps. I really tried.
I understand that some people just don't want to lose their investment, and in my opinion classic ASP was bad but not nearly as bad as a lot of people made it out to be. I enjoyed it, was fascinated by the ammount of shit I had to do by hand when using it and the lack of more modern paradigms as the ones found in more mothern languages, but really believed that it microsoft wanted they could have continue to provide updates to the language and ecosystem rather than dropping everything in favor of .net ( which is awesome really)
But his time is ticking and I really liked him as a person, he was kind and willing to adapt to my schedules and pay considerations. I really don't want him to lose clients because his stack does not conform to the new and shiny.
I guess he is scared of me offering to rewrite portions in newer tech since he does not want me to leave and leave him without a developer that knows that stuff. So i have offered myself a position along him as a partner, not a worker, since that way it will be my product investment and I will not leave it just like that.
Dude is really wealthy so he can afford it and he knows I will not do him any wrong.
I nust wish he would reconsider promptly since it would suck to have me as competition.2 -
What's up with the meetings and schedules? If you involve 9 people for a 3 hour meeting, you're wasting 27 freaking hours and no it's not what standups mean. Startups! ugh2
-
I've been a "firefighter" on our big money-making project for like a year now and probably will be for the next year. Every sprint, fully booked out.
However, this sprint, some people think I have time to brainstorm, learn new tech and attend meetings related to a completely new project.
"Will it done in 2 weeks?"
"How long do you estimate?"
I can knock up a rough version of your fucking application in about a week if someone grows some fucking balls and schedules me some fucking time for it. STFU and stop interrupting my other work. Allocate some time or shove it up your ass so far until you regurgitate it then swallow it again and choke on it. -
I can now leave freely without any regrets!
The slight misgivings I had about leaving this place over the toys they provide, is now gone because I re-realized that while this place adopts new tech, it doesn't adapt to it. So they have shiny tools but the people and processes won't change.
It seems to me that due to pressure to deliver, there is little thought/analysis behind any tech change.
They don't plan to change their wretched delivery pipelines. Everything will be same but on git. So no velocity gains, and same bureaucratic review request process. Such a waste. This attitude applies to their other tools too. They are using a unit test library to write tests that don't use mock. They are using modern languages but without modern idioms. It's like writing C code in C++. And of course theoretically we are agile but actually we're just a waterfall team with managers on our ass everyday and tighter release schedules.
Reminds me of @boombodies recent posts and discussion about business spaghetti reflecting in code.
There are possibly multiple reasons for these problems but I think a large part of it is a lack of empathy/mutual respect. Everyone's too insecure, noone cares for anyone but themselves and people just try to outwit each other. -
I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.
I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.
Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.
We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:
"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."
"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."
"That's our scheduled release date."
O.M.G.
We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.
We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.
It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.
Blah.3 -
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3 -
People just can’t show up on time. I respect people’s time and I do not waste a minute of anyone s time. I do not like it. Time is a precious resource and we should all treat it as such. I expect the same from other people too.
There was a meeting supposed to happen a month or so back. Me and another guy. This meeting was basically giving him the resource utilization and some cost related details for the budget our team used up. They wanted a more granular report than the generic ones we submitted.
He scheduled it once and about ten minutes before he cancelled it. Fair enough.
A week later he sent an invite and the next day he cancelled it a few hours before the meeting. Fair enough I’m still not pissed.
A month or so since the first scheduled meeting, he scheduled a meeting and I turn up and he s not there and I wait for about half hour before I leave. Next day I get an email saying he s sorry. Now I’m pissed.
A couple weeks back he schedules a meeting and I turn up and I could see through the glass door and he s talking to someone in the room he s in. He signals to me to wait for five minutes. It takes about 20. Finally I go in and he s relieved so he can finally get the data from me. I tell him I waited for twenty minutes and I have to somewhere and asked him to reschedule the meeting. He asks when and I tell him a time where I know he won’t turn up. About 8 30 in the morning. He says yes.
Next day I show up he s not there and I wait for ten minutes and just he s walking in to the floor I exit the room and run to my place. He comes over and asks and I tell him I waited for sometime and I’m busy now and he mumbles and goes away.
By this time it is already a week or so after the deadline. The bigger boss from finance turns up and asks me why I haven’t given them the data I asked for. I tell him they schedule meetings and don’t turn up on time and my other work is getting affected productivity blah blah and he says okay make the report and give it to me. I tell him no I’m not wasting anymore time on this.
He goes to my boss creates a little ruckus my boss comes over and he goes wtf. I tell him what happened. He says it’s okay give them the report. I’m like I don’t know where I kept it must be somewhere I can’t waste anymore time on this. Guy from finance joins us at this point and angrily says he’ll find it himself and don’t need our help anymore.
The file is in my laptop I use for travel. Just a local copy. Zero fucking backups. And I just deleted it.
Fuck. You.1 -
So exams are coming up and I’m not even ready at all :,,) I Need and want to study But At the same time i want to draw and animate. When i think about these two stuff my brain becomes soggy and very slow so in the end I don’t do anything and it’s bad :,,) I really suck at planning stuff out, do you all have any good schedules that work? :DD
3 -
@dfox and @trogus made me install an app that schedules the blocking other apps on my phone :/
Good job, tho!1 -
I hate systemic problems.
I hate that a stable housing situation and perfect weather and luck are required to work.
I hate that malcontents and malicious people fucked people out of their jobs.
I hate rolling and cancerous financial ruin coming from scammers ponzi schemes and corrupt people who only care about lining their own pockets.
I hate that being middle class is a nightmare of anxiety because nothing is guaranteed.
I hate the lack of services to quickly without stupid catches get a person on their feet.
I hate the retarded take on things these fuckers created to make these problems worse.
I hate hardcore drug addicts and pushers fucking up benefits and services for honest people.
I hate whores stealing houses apartments and jobs by selling their asses and children to old fucked up perverted diseased scum.
I hate schedules that make it hard to get places.
People who drive everywhere because public transportation sucks.
Public transportation sucking because people suck up oil and destroy car after car
Basic housing not being available so people can be safe at night and find jobs.
I hate wars that suck money out of my country
I hate parents that fuck up the next generation by abusing their children
I hate the parents who fucked up the current generation making this time period miserable
I hate people not facing facts about basic necessities
I hate decaying buildings that cost more to repair because no one maintains them
I hate sprawling shit houses that could be combined into towers
And most of all
I hate people taking extreme liberties in destroying my own telling me I have to be careful what I say and I hate fucking liars6 -
So many open tickets and they keep becoming more and more. In the end they will never be worked on, as there's always smth more important, although they are reprioritized on fixed schedules. They will eventually be discarded because they were forgotten and the ticket was already done, just by a ticket with similar naming or similar intent.
How would you solve this? Can this be solved?2 -
Hey everyone 🙂
I’m looking for a little input on a project I’ve had in my head for a while.
I want to make a schedule app that would cater to personal, work and school schedules alike, and give points or rewards for completing tasks on time. Like a reward kind of system.
What features would you most look for in a schedular / reminder app?6 -
Dev planning
- set timeline for feature for 2 weeks
- share timeline with everyone involved
- project manager calls and says it's taking too long
- dev adjusts timeline to 1 week
- project manager call next day asks for a new feature to be included in the 1 week timeline
What the f*** is wrong with these ppl. People don't seem to get the concept of schedules, timelines and organizing work. It's not like there is an abundance of resources (only few devs available ) with limited budget and salaries -
Sooo cobol eeeh...?
Old legacy system still running ehh?
Eyes closed and hope for the best from management eh?
And now everybody needs them all, while simple ppl dont get their money managers just say sorry ?
Twas a timebomb and it will still be. Its hugely pathetic of those responsible to disregard their old systems and dont test them for the worst case.
Why am i trying here to deliver proper working systems with long term update schedules when ppl in charge suck with their responsibilities?3 -
Can we just for a moment recognize how absolutely fucked Windows update is?
I have done everything, EVERYTHING, outside of booting from a live Linux OS and permanently deleting the windows update executables. All this to stop windows from force updating and rebooting my system while it's locked.
I've killed services, schedules, edited the registry, changed group policy. I even set my wireless connection as metered. Fun fact about that, if MS deems the update to be "priority" they'll download it anyway and reboot, so fuck your data-cap.
I wouldn't have a problem with it IF they would put everything back the way it was before, but those fucking cucks can't even be bothered with doing that. But you bet your fucking sassy ass they start up all the bullshit services I disabled last update are all running.
I don't even know WHY I even try.
Doesn't matter anyway, in a few months I won't even be able to use half the tools I use on Windows for work due to licensing issues 🤷♂️
At that point I will give a big fucking finger to Windows 🖕 and use a VM for all the fucking work related bullshit.
Fuck you Microsoft, I would say it's been fun but you're a god damned disaster. I wish that I could send a message to the entire MS board on how much they have failed, but unfortunately I rather like my freedom and it's frowned upon sending rotting roadkill in the mail.15 -
What do you do when your family time conflicts with your work time? What can I do to rotate my work schedule forward so I can get some fucking sleep without giving up on either work or my family?
This sucks, I get like 5 hours of sleep at night and my job wants me to be here no later than 9 for whatever reason.
Not to mention my commute is about 45-60 minutes both ways
Not to mention I'm making just enough money to cover my bases. Going to Costa Rica for a vacation is no where near my ability.. hell even driving across the state for a weekend trip would be wildly out of budget.
I've tried asking for a flexible schedule and ability to work from home as needed but its just become a circular debate.
I'm getting burned out and always feel tired, have no energy to stay motivated or give a shit4 -
Thought I'd post this for my friend in QA, because she's been having a horrible week at work.
So we were supposed to have production deployments last night (Tuesday) and tonight (Wednesday). We were told these dates a week ago, which is fine. The QA support cleared their after-office schedules on those dates to accommodate, since the deployments would be happening at 10pm.
Last Monday they moved the deployments to Thursday and Friday, because our "project managers" want to cram as many fixes and resolutions as possible. So of course, we devs are being rushed to speed these additional tasks through to being included (bypassing a LOT of quality checks).
Of course, the QA team finds defects (we devs were expecting that, so no big) and the PMs start blaming them for the delays. Which is just stupid. And my QA friend? They're trying to make her a scapegoat by throwing her under the bus with business.
Fortunately, she's a smart cookie and not only has all communications with the PMs documented, she also has the other QAs backing her up by running the same tests.
tldr; Fuck those project managers who suck up to business and don't give a shit about the people who do the actual work. May they burn in hell and their souls rot in a cesspool of acidic farts for all eternity. -
So...I kinda started a huge project and it requires a pattern recognition for the users' schedules as the cherry on top.
I have no idea from where could I start learning this. I tried lots of stuff, I have basic knowledge of ai, but I need to get to the next level.
Any advice?2 -
TFW it's 10am... you've already watched your news, gardened, showered, and did all your laundry, and you literally had to wait for the grocery store to open so you could have your one big dinner for the day, and the postman is taking forever with that package he says will arrive today, and you also have to go to another store for some items but you're actually too sleepy to care now zzz...
now I can be the one dunking on everyone saying they're too slow! HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT1 -
Recently I completed a whole year in programming. Holy jebus, I have no idea I could make it through.
I started thinking I was "decent" at this because I had taken a half dozen courses in python plus some algorithm logic in school lol @ innocent me
I'm an applied math student and I hereby declare I was the most incompetent dude you'll ever see.
I've been through so much shit I didn't realize I had a shitty boss, because one would think it's normal for a beginner to approach everything in programming because I was told to do so. Full blown restful apis, stateful redux react apps with responsive CSS using Google's material design. Don't forget to dockerize everything and deploy the swarm on Amazon cloud all the while having to run integration unit tests, make sure all the rules on your nginx are correct we don't want exposure do you know how to write a visualization tool on JavaScript so we can 3d-fy some x-ray prints and good luck balancing tight schedules with your school and girlfriend ye right lul
My manager would ask me to deliver new shit to an app I was developing mostly by my self in react (I barely even knew what RFC or ES6 was by the time I started).
I got fired from this project because I couldn't deliver by myself what 5 experienced dudes could (debatable, but still... Cuz they couldn't when they took over. Boss wanted to rewrite the whole app in a week and a half)
Turns out I got called back by the same company but to contribute in another project. This time to automate some shizzle with python.
Feelsgoodman but I want out ASAP can't stay sane for longer -
Every single time I get in a lift, I think about how it schedules, however, I don't recall the algos well.1
-
Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
Weight lifting.
Now hear me out. I know this doesn't sound geeky but my pedantic nature makes it.
Comparing the numbers of your lifts. Charting them out. Making your own workout schedules with targeting every muscle and it's parts.
It's fun and rewarding.1 -
Me: Assigned to do some NoSQL injections test cases in December on Jira by product owner.
After asking him about it, he said it can be vague and it’s only for developers to get an idea. I also have this restriction where I can’t really keep actually data or databases in our test sample application, so I could only mock mongodb. Product owner says just mongo is fine.
I do it. Now it’s January, product owner away for a month we so director is managing it. She then schedules me to talk to database team. I show them the very simple test cases which essentially just inject payloads I found online into different parameters specified in test case. They say if that’s it. I say yes. They say what’s the point of this. I said that it’s probably to test your database clients and ensure they’re rejecting bad Malicious input? They then keep asking but I’m just the dev and tell them the product owner is away. Then the guy calls my test case essentially useless and the others agree. Then they tell me to do it for other databases which I can’t mock like couchbase even tho my PO said it’s fine for mongo only.
Am I just being silly here? I am pretty new to working in a dev environment so please feel free to be blunt.3 -
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6 -
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Located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, Rank Business Institute offers a comprehensive range of digital marketing courses designed to equip you with the skills needed to succeed in the digital world.
Why Choose Digital Marketing in Vashi?
Vashi, one of the most prominent areas of Navi Mumbai, has rapidly transformed into a hub for business and technology. With a growing number of businesses, startups, and entrepreneurs setting up in this region, Digital Marketing in Vashi has become essential for companies to connect with their audience effectively.
As businesses continue to shift their marketing strategies to digital platforms, there is a constant demand for skilled professionals who can manage online marketing campaigns, SEO, social media, paid advertising, and more. Whether you are a business owner looking to grow your brand or an individual aiming to start a career in digital marketing, Rank Business Institute in Vashi offers the right learning solutions.
Why Rank Business Institute is the Best Place for Digital Marketing in Vashi
1. Comprehensive Digital Marketing Courses
Our Digital Marketing curriculum covers everything from the basics to advanced strategies, giving you the tools to create and execute successful online marketing campaigns. The courses we offer include:
Search Engine Optimization (SEO)
Social Media Marketing (SMM)
Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Advertising
Content Marketing
Email Marketing
Web Analytics and Reporting
Affiliate Marketing
E-commerce Marketing
Each course is designed to ensure you have the theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills to apply in real-world situations.
2. Industry-Experienced Trainers
At Rank Business Institute, we understand that learning from experts is key to mastering any field. Our trainers are experienced digital marketing professionals with years of practical industry experience. They not only teach you the fundamentals but also share real-world insights and current trends in digital marketing.
3. Hands-On Training and Live Projects
Theory is important, but hands-on practice is crucial when it comes to digital marketing. We offer live projects and practical assignments that allow you to work on actual digital marketing campaigns, giving you a deep understanding of tools, strategies, and techniques used in the industry.
4. Affordable and Flexible Learning
We believe that quality education should be accessible to everyone. Rank Business Institute provides affordable training programs without compromising on quality. Our flexible learning schedules—weekday and weekend batches—make it easier for working professionals and students to balance their learning with other commitments.
5. Placement Assistance and Career Support
One of the unique features of Rank Business Institute is our commitment to your career growth. We offer placement assistance to students completing the course, helping them connect with potential employers in Vashi, Navi Mumbai, and beyond. Our career support team helps with resume building, interview preparation, and provides guidance on job opportunities in the digital marketing field.
The Growing Need for Digital Marketing in Vashi
As Vashi continues to evolve into a business hotspot, the need for digital marketing professionals has skyrocketed. Companies in various industries are recognizing the importance of establishing a solid online presence. Whether it’s for driving traffic to a website, improving brand visibility on social media, or running paid advertising campaigns, businesses need skilled professionals to manage their digital marketing efforts.
By enrolling in a Digital Marketing course at Rank Business Institute, you are not just learning the theory but also gaining the practical skills needed to meet the growing demand for digital marketing expertise. With the knowledge and experience you gain, you’ll be ready to take on roles such as:
Digital Marketing Manager
SEO Specialist
Social Media Manager
Content Marketing Strategist
PPC Specialist
Web Analytics Expert
Why Vashi Is the Perfect Location for Digital Marketing Education
Visit us today at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, or call us at +09082234835 to learn more about our courses, schedule, and enrollment details.
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Rather than using the project management software that the company has spent the past year getting set up and stuck into, the new ops manager seems to think that faffing around in Google Sheets and making pretty schedules is the way forward.
If you're doing some work that's in your actual job list, but not in the new pipeline, ohhhh boy. -
"Discover essential time management techniques to enhance employee productivity. Learn practical strategies, tools, and benefits of effective time management in achieving workplace efficiency and work-life balance."
Introduction to Time Management Techniques
Time management is very important in the current world of work where organizations are under pressure to deliver on their objectives. This guide looks at different time management strategies that can be used to improve the efficiency of employees and the success of the organization.
Understanding Time Management
Understanding Time Management is important to comprehend the concept of time management in order to achieve the best results in any organization. It entails proper scheduling and organizing of activities, proper utilization of resources, and proper establishment of objectives and time frames. Hence, when people learn how to manage time effectively, they can easily organize their tasks, minimize stress, and balance between work and personal life. This skill not only enhances the performance of the individual but also the performance of the organizations as it guarantees that tasks are done effectively and within the stipulated time.
Definition of Time Management
Time management is the act of arranging and controlling the use of time in order to effectively complete the activities that have been scheduled for completion.
Importance of Time Management in the Workplace
It is a crucial factor that enables employees to schedule their work, meet deadlines, minimize stress, and balance work and personal life. It also improves the general efficiency and plays a role in the improvement of organizational performance.
Assessing Current Time Management Practices
Assess the current state of time management in the organization in order to determine the best practices, the problems, and the opportunities.
Setting Clear Goals and Deadlines
Set specific and realistic objectives for the work and assignments, as well as time frames to ensure proper motivation and work organization.
Utilizing Time Management Tools
Use time management tools like task management apps, calendars, and productivity software to optimize the processes and increase productivity.
Advantages of Time Management
Increased Productivity
Proper time management results in increased efficiency because employees are able to organize their work in a proper manner and avoid wasting time on unnecessary things.
Reduced Stress Levels
Through proper scheduling of tasks and time, there is a decrease in stress and feelings of being overwhelmed, which is beneficial to the employees.
Improved Work Quality
Scheduling of time helps the employees to set aside adequate time for a particular task hence increasing the quality of work being produced.
Better Work-Life Balance
Managing time at work and outside work is possible through time management hence improving the well-being and satisfaction of employees.
Best Practices for Sustaining Time Management
Regularly Reviewing and Adjusting Time Management Practices
Periodically review the current methods of time management to determine the potential for enhancement.
Encouraging Continuous Improvement
Encourage the employees to look for better ways of managing time so as to foster a culture of continuous improvement.
Balancing Workload and Priorities
Conducting Regular Workload Assessments
It is crucial to evaluate the workload to ensure that the employees do not get overwhelmed and that the organization remains efficient.
Linking Work Activities to Organizational Objectives
Linking tasks with organizational goals guarantees that all work done in the organization is in line with the strategic plan of the firm. When such goals are set, the teams can then prioritize the activities that will help in the achievement of the business objectives.
Technology as a Tool in Time Management
Implementing Task Management Apps
Task management applications help to organize work processes by consolidating the assignment of tasks, their progress, and collaboration tools into one application. These apps allow the teams to plan the tasks, set the priorities, and track the deadlines of the tasks.
Utilizing Calendar and Scheduling Applications
Calendars and scheduling tools are essential in time management since they assist the teams in planning for their activities. Schedules are used in organizations to plan for meetings, set up reminders and time for particular activities.
Conclusion
Time management is a critical component in organizational success, especially in the distribution of work, priority of tasks, and use of technology. Through proper workload evaluation, the teams can be able to balance the resources and avoid cases of fatigue hence enhancing productivity.
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Echo Janitorial Services: Premier Cleaning Services in Abbotsford, BC
When it comes to maintaining a clean and healthy environment, you need a cleaning service provider you can trust. At Echo Janitorial Services, we offer comprehensive and reliable cleaning services for homes and businesses in Abbotsford, BC, and surrounding areas. Located at 32675 Peardonville Rd, Abbotsford, BC V2T 1N2, our team is dedicated to delivering exceptional results that leave your space spotless and refreshed.
Our Cleaning Services
At Echo Janitorial Services, we understand that every property has unique cleaning requirements. That’s why we provide a wide range of customizable cleaning solutions to suit your needs.
Our Services Include:
Residential Cleaning: From deep cleaning to routine housekeeping, we ensure your home stays fresh and tidy.
Commercial Cleaning: We handle offices, retail spaces, and more, creating a professional and inviting atmosphere.
Carpet Cleaning: Remove stains, dirt, and allergens with our specialized carpet cleaning services.
Floor Care: Whether it’s floor waxing, mopping, or maintenance, we keep your floors looking immaculate.
Window Cleaning: Achieve streak-free windows that let in natural light and enhance your property’s appeal.
Post-Construction Cleaning: Perfect for newly renovated spaces, our team ensures every corner is clean and ready for use.
Why Choose Echo Janitorial Services?
At Echo Janitorial Services, we’re more than just a cleaning company – we’re your partners in cleanliness and hygiene. Here’s why clients in Abbotsford trust us for their cleaning needs:
Experienced Professionals: Our skilled team is trained to handle all types of cleaning tasks with precision.
Eco-Friendly Products: We use safe and sustainable cleaning solutions to protect your family, employees, and the environment.
Tailored Plans: We create customized cleaning schedules and plans that fit your lifestyle or business operations.
Affordable Rates: Enjoy top-quality cleaning services at competitive prices.
Reliable and Punctual: Count on us for consistent, on-time service you can depend on.
Serving Abbotsford and Beyond
Conveniently located in Abbotsford, Echo Janitorial Services serves residential and commercial clients across the area. Whether you need a one-time deep clean or regular maintenance, we are here to help.
Contact Echo Janitorial Services Today
Take the hassle out of cleaning with professional assistance from Echo Janitorial Services. Call us at +1 (604) 966-3778 to book your cleaning service today. Let us transform your space into a cleaner, healthier, and more enjoyable environment.
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In the fast-paced world of retail, understanding customer behavior and optimizing store operations are key to success. Retail footfall analysis provides valuable insights into how shoppers interact with your store, helping you make data-driven decisions to enhance performance and drive growth. Here’s how leveraging footfall analysis can revolutionize your retail marketing analytics consulitng strategy.
What is Retail Footfall Analysis?
Retail footfall analysis refers to the process of measuring and interpreting customer traffic patterns within a retail environment. This analysis involves collecting data on the number of visitors, their movement within the store, and their dwell times. By examining this data, retailers can gain a deeper understanding of shopper behavior, store performance, and the effectiveness of marketing strategies.
Benefits of Retail Footfall Analysis
Optimize Store Layout: By analyzing how customers navigate through your store, you can redesign layouts to improve traffic flow and increase the visibility of high-margin or promotional items. Strategic placement of products can enhance the shopping experience and drive sales.
Enhance Customer Experience: Understanding peak traffic times allows you to manage staffing levels more effectively. Ensuring adequate staff during busy periods can improve customer service and satisfaction, while reducing labor costs during quieter times.
Evaluate Marketing Effectiveness: Footfall analysis helps assess the impact of marketing campaigns and promotions. By comparing traffic data before, during, and after a campaign, you can determine what drives the most foot traffic and adjust future marketing strategies accordingly.
Improve Inventory Management: Analyzing foot traffic data helps with inventory planning by identifying which products attract the most customers. This insight allows you to better manage stock levels and avoid both overstocking and stockouts.
Drive Sales Growth: With detailed insights into customer behavior, you can make informed decisions to boost sales. For example, adjusting store layouts, optimizing product placement, and fine-tuning promotional strategies based on footfall data can lead to increased revenue.
How Retail Footfall Analysis Works
Data Collection: Footfall data is collected using various technologies such as infrared sensors, video cameras, and Wi-Fi tracking. These tools capture information on the number of visitors, their movement patterns, and the time they spend in different areas of the store.
Data Analysis: The collected data is analyzed to uncover patterns and trends. Key metrics include foot traffic volume, peak shopping times, customer dwell times, and the effectiveness of different store areas.
Insights and Recommendations: Based on the analysis, actionable insights are provided. This might include recommendations for store layout changes, staffing adjustments, or marketing strategies to better align with customer behavior.
Implementation: Retailers implement the recommendations to optimize store performance. This may involve reconfiguring store layouts, adjusting staffing schedules, or launching targeted marketing campaigns.
Ongoing Monitoring: Retail footfall analysis is an ongoing process. Continuous monitoring allows retailers to stay responsive to changes in customer behavior and market conditions, ensuring sustained improvements in store performance.
Why Retail Footfall Analysis Matters
Enhanced Customer Understanding: Provides a clear picture of how customers interact with your store, leading to better decision-making.
Increased Efficiency: Helps optimize store operations and resource allocation, improving overall efficiency and effectiveness.
Data-Driven Decisions: Enables retailers to make informed decisions based on concrete data rather than intuition or guesswork.
Conclusion
Retail footfall analysis is a powerful tool for optimizing store performance and driving business growth. By understanding customer behavior and traffic patterns, retailers can make strategic adjustments to store layouts, staffing levels, and marketing efforts, ultimately enhancing the shopping experience and boosting sales.
Leverage the insights from retail footfall analysis to transform your store operations and stay ahead of the competition. With the right approach, you can unlock new opportunities for success and achieve your retail goals.
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At Kinetic Martial Arts in Coffs Harbour, we offer dynamic martial arts classes designed for adults of all skill levels. Whether you're looking to get fit, learn self-defense, Cheap Bjj Classes Coffs Harbour, or develop discipline and focus, our classes provide a supportive and motivating environment to help you achieve your goals. Our experienced instructors teach a variety of martial arts techniques that improve strength, coordination, and flexibility, while also enhancing mental toughness. The classes incorporate both traditional and modern martial arts styles, ensuring a comprehensive approach to self-defense and fitness. With flexible class schedules, you'll find it easy to fit training into your routine. Join our adult martial arts classes to experience personal growth, increased confidence, and an active lifestyle. Whether you're a beginner or have previous experience, you'll benefit from a program that challenges you, encourages progress, and promotes a sense of community.
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So at my last job we had an AM deployment and a PM deployment. We had code reviews, QA, a slow roll process (deployed to three servers), monitoring process, and once everything checked out we fast rolled to the other servers.
At my current job we have a QA process, and we deploy once every three weeks.
My first job I deployed as needed, with no QA at all (I was the only web dev there).
I'm currently at a major e-commerce site, my last job was more of a click-bait site (though it still made millions in revenue each year).
So my question is: is there a "normal" as far as deployment schedules? I realize that each business type is going to have their own needs, but what's the "average" time between deployments?
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