56

OMFG
Waking up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling in my ear and noises. Started shaking the head, which did nothing except panicking because of intensifying scratch noises in my head.
Getting the fear to be eaten inside out.
Get the phone and call sister to get me to the doc but her phone is powered off. Starting to Google "consequences of an cockroach in your ear", reading this is not as bad as I thought and that some people do not even realize it !??
Laying down for 3 minutes in the dark, *heating up and feeling my pulse* hoping it will crawl out. Which obviously did not fucking happened, this sucker just squatted my ear.
So I go to the bathroom and start filling up the tub. While it is filling up, I Google "how to get cockroach out of your ear". Finding an article that you should pour oil in your ear to suffocate the squatter. So I go to the kitchen, grab my sunflower oil, go to the mirror and start pouring. I am starting to shine like a bodybuilder and hear the noises again. After what felt like an eternity, I hear even more scratching in my head, this is the moment I do half a headbang and *wush* *flap* something hit the ground. I look down in the hope it wasn't just the sunflower oil and see this little thing which is clearly a cockroach. I am fucking relieved, not hearing any noises anymore.

Comments
  • 23
    So glad to be Dutch. We barely have these fuckers around and I don't have to worry about such things.

    I'd probably have a complete meltdown.
  • 7
    @Mvzes I had one too. It is 4:34 AM and I don't think I will go to bed for the rest of this vacation

    I am on vacation (in my home country) and staying at an appartement, my 91 year old grandma was living in. She moved out 3 months ago to have someone help her out in the day-to-day tasks.
    She left it quite dirty and noone out of my relatives cared to clean it. It's getting better but it takes time until they all will be gone.
  • 5
    Just so you have an idea.
  • 17
    @BoomRaccoon I really, really did not want or need an idea.🤢
  • 0
    @Mvzes I was about to tag it as nsfw, but the time limit ...
  • 8
    Lets just hope there's no eggs in you now...

    Also this is EXACTLY why i wesr earplugs to sleep. Also because i cant stand noise, but mostly this.
  • 7
    @arcsector You ducker. Now I have another dilemma. Put in in-ears and risk baby insects not crawling out of me or don't put them in and risk another sucker to crawl in.

    The day I will be ok having insects inside of me is the day my body goes on a body farm.
  • 6
    As @Stuxnet would say:

    "Ight imma head out."
  • 8
    @arcsector @BoomRaccoon ofc you can use plugs for ears! But what about nastrals? Mouth?

    Have a good night sleep!
  • 0
    @netikras they cant get in if you're breathing or dead!
  • 1
    @arcsector I've just read that one got in the nose of a women in India ...
  • 0
    EWWWWWWWWEW
  • 2
    I will never sleep comfortably after seeing this.. ThAnKs
  • 0
    Dang I'm out. I'M--
  • 0
    Earplugs motherfuckers! Earplugs from now on!
  • 1
    @Nanos Or a doctor maybe?
  • 1
    fucking hell dude, where do you live? I'd stick ear plugs in every night and take the risk that I might die in a fire due to being unable to hear the commotion of my building being incinerated or people calling me to rescue.

    It's a price worth paying to not have cockroaches in your ears!
  • 2
    @Jilano I read this last night and had to try and not be paranoid as fuck whenever I was tryna sleep.

    I really didn't wanna read this shit at all.
  • 2
    Dafuq did I just read
  • 1
    Google the Candiru fish. You won't thank me.
  • 0
    @Nanos pretty sure there is nothing left. I examined that sucker when I painted the pentagram, placed the candles and took my anger out on him.
    Still might let a doctor take a look.
  • 0
  • 0
    What the actual fuck?!
  • 0
    @arcsector fortunately you have enough holes left to crawl in to. Or do you plug your mouth, nose and anus too when you go to sleep?
  • 0
    DUDE! WTF!
  • 0
    @d4ng3r0u5 Isn't that the little guy that swims up your pee stream into your urethra and stays there?
  • 0
    @Lor-inc Correct
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