Not a coworker, but this guy who I went to uni with and was a real life saver when I was really down. (we played minecraft together)

... So, he is a real genius. One of those guys who I legit couldn't keep up with. His brain works, he doesn't bullshit his way through, he's not pretentious, he is legit a down to earth rare genius. Yet, he doesn't use his talents enough, he likes to work or go home to play minecraft. And he doesn't politically care enough, so I am almost sure that he will end up getting stuck in the defence force.

We're still friends. And I try my hardest to not be nosy and nag at him that he can do better. I mean, he is happy the way he is, and he is not ambitious. But the memory of him is a reminder that not everyone who gets somewhere is the best and brightest.

I think we are all socialised differently. Some of us, especially the not genius over achievers are products of environments that demand we push ourselves to and refuse mediocrity for one reason or another. Some of us who have had it easier going through life with massive brains and not putting too much effort also get used to easy success(grades) and so do not feel the need to over exert themselves. They believe they will do fine coz they have always done fine. Majority of the people who over excel in this life are not the geniuses, its those who push themselves above and beyond and put in the work or extra hours.
If he doesn't want to use his genius for excellence, it's not on you to nag him. He may even be annoyed when he doesn't see things from your point of view. You can still remind him of his potential but he is an adult Las las and he will make his choices.

My most memorable co-worker is one I absolutely hate. This fucking idiot was hitting on me for three years while I insulted the living crap out of him. I still hate his stupid face but he thinks we are friends. I believe he has a mental problem although he is a good engineer.

Heh, I have a good friend who I see in a very similar situation. Eclipsed any grades I got, was incredibly talented at just about everything he put his mind to, and hard working to boot. I'm confident he could have gone on to have a great job in business or academia, but he's essentially chosen to work his way up in a shop. It's not exactly a high paid job, nor is it stress-free.

I mean... he's happy, he's very good at it, as he is with everything - so I tend to leave him be over it rather than getting in his face all the time. But damn, I can't help but thinking he could be both happier and making an incredible career for himself elsewhere.

@tienloimartvn your point?

@NoMad @tienloimartvn looks like a bot :/???

@witchDev definitely does. But also, why an online shopping mart? Like, his github points to a product and he is copy pasting a comment? 🤔 Faulty bot...

@Frederick yeah but like, if he's happy with how he is and how things are, who are you to say that he should use his full potential?
Like, idk, my friend also can achieve more, but does it make him happy? Probably not. Which is why he is where he is.

@Frederick aight, if he's not happy, then that's a different story.
But he at least has reasons to succeed. Hopefully it will get better for him.

Sounds like your coworker is just like the guy in Goodwill Hunting! Maybe you can give him the Ben Affleck speech one day :)

@justamuslimguy you watch too many movies 😛 why would I disturb his peace and create unnecessary competition for myself?

@NoMad Maybe my thinking is different, but lots of people work really hard their whole lives trying to gain the kind of smarts your friend has. For him to not do anything useful with it, seems kind of insulting to all the people who wish they could have that.

Maybe he's happy, at peace, so what? Don't you owe it to the people in your life, loved ones, family, community, to make something of yourself for them?

@justamuslimguy nope. I don't owe anybody jackshit.

@NoMad You don't have any family?

@justamuslimguy I do, I just don't owe them anything.

Your thinking tho, is very much abusive and conservative. If I owe anyone anything, it is to me and to do what makes "me" happy. The end.

@NoMad I don't think it's either conservative or abusive. Your parents cared for you when you were young and helpless, shouldn't they be able to rely on you when they are old and helpless, didn't they spend their own time, money, and effort for you to succeed? You don't owe your children a good life? You don't owe it to them to take care of their needs? You won't spend your time, money, and effort on them?

We all owe someone something. That's how come we are a society and not all individual little pods like that Wall-E movie

@justamuslimguy that's exactly why it's abusive.
First, I didn't ask to be born. They gave birth, so they had to care for it too. When I have children, I won't ask them to care for me when they're grown either. Peace.
Second, society also kills its best and brightest, in the name of being abnormal. That's how societies work. Be normal or die.
Third, I have paid for anything I've ever asked. And if I have not asked, then I did not want it. So, why would I owe anyone for giving me something I didn't want? Again, recursively abusive thinking.

My best advice for you: change your mind or life will change it for you.

@Jilano @C0D4 come argue with this guy. I'll need to catch my beauty sleep 😛

AND I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!

@NoMad I hope you have someone one day who you appreciate what they have done for you and who motivates you to work hard to see them happy because they made you happy once by working hard for you.

@NoMad I'm resisting the urge, I could, but then I'm going to give my life story in a comment.... and let's just say, no one is right in here.

I did write a massive comment, but removed it. No one needs to know the shit I've had to endure to get to where I am in life, but if someone is happy where they are, let's not judge them for it, for some that happiness alone is success.

@C0D4 Thanks for your comment. Important to resist the urge to judge, especially the less we know about someone, the less we should seek to judge.

@justamuslimguy the same goes for you too, no two paths in life are the same, not everyone owes society or family for that matter for their success, some have had to pull them selves from having nothing in life on their own without much support.

But hey, if it was me, someone poking me occasionally with wisdom that I can be better then I currently am, would be obviously shrugged off, but it would sink in eventually.

And if that person that does that for me ever see's this, thank you!

@justamuslimguy you should also resist the urge to judge how much someone has dealt with your type and may know you better than you know yourself 😜

@C0D4 about your last comment above; or chances are that you will get annoyed with and conflicted about them and start to avoid them. Been there, done that. Doesn't end well.

Personal changes, generally speaking, come from within.

@justamuslimguy also, down voting just because you don't agree with someone is so cliche. You see why I say your mindset is abusive? You try to force people into your mindset and then just throw tantrums when they don't. Just as expected.

@NoMad not the case here, but yea I get that.

Depends on the relationship with the person giving the nudge at the end of the day, if it's unwelcome Input then I'm sure that would lead to problems.

@C0D4 sure. Now get off of your arse and make internet a better place 😜 you can do it! I know you can!

@NoMad lmfao! I'm 98% through my test class coverage, and I started today at 0% - one more test and I should be able to move on to the next class.... ok it's like 6 more 🤦‍♂️FML

Future @C0D4 will appreciate current @C0D4's torture since past @C0D4 didn't write any tests 😂😂

@Frederick ikr? Like, I hate people who say they did something because of the "good of their heart" and end up forming expectations based on that. don't call it owing, call it expectations. Let's all be mainstream and repeat the same set of mistakes and be compliance because we're all just "good people" who conform to the expectations of others.
Urghhhhh people!

@NoMad You can see how much wisdom @C0D4 has accumulated due to his (very) old age. It's impressive!

Regarding the little issue here, both sides have some valid arguments, but I completely disagree reject the "you owe people something". If you help someone for whatever reason AND expect something in return, that's your problem buddy. Anyone that did something for me did it willingly, not under threat. Doesn't mean I can't thank them, but I won't bow and whatnot every day.

About the guy you mentioned, it's hard enough to be happy on this planet, and many people yearn for that their entire life. So if your friend feels good about his life as it is, I don't see a point in changing it.

PS: I feel the same about family. I don't have a bad one, really, but still. I didn't have my say in it.

PS2: You can't comment 5 times while I'm writing! I'm tired, so please, wait for me

@Jilano waiting ......... ooh iShoe in another post, it's still a prototype though.

@Alice You know, I'd buy one (at a reasonable price) if you were to sell it

Edit: Or ask "Papy Coddy" for it maybe

@Alice it kept catching fire 🤷‍♂️on to the next venture.

@Frederick "People with the "you own people mentality" makes me sick"

Me too, but I think that's more commonly referred to as "slavery" 😉

@Frederick I usually ignore typos but that one was just too good 😁