I have a whole bag of pills to eat that make me sicker instead of better while I have a lot of studying and writing to do. Doc says I have to be diligent with pills but like...what of my goals? I'll also not get better if I don't eat the pills. What a conundrum.

For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?

I quit this startup side job coz I was over worked and under paid for 3 years and I decided it wasn't worth the mental fatigue and anxiety. Plus I didn't feel like it added any value to my life other than stress. Gave them at least 2 months notice (since February effective April 30th) coz as the only server side engineer+team lead, I did ALOT. Now they brought this hot shot new CTO who wants me to basically rewrite the entire app before I go while maintaining the existing system and making sure everything functions smoothly (there is a ton I chose to optimise to make things easier for the new dev who they have not hired and I have 4 weeks to go) . The app was built in mongo db now he wants it in mysql. Can't believe ask me this after breaking my neck and falling in and out if depression for this job?!! I want to laugh and scream at the same time.

Did an interview and got some feedback and my coding challenge (I didn't make the cut) . Was surprised at a particular comment on why it was I didn't make the cut and it was about the code not compiling atall. So I went to check the repo and found some code which I oath to have removed lodged into the code base which prevented the reviewer from being able to compile it. How tf it wasn't flagged out when I was compiling before pushing to the repo is beyond me. Now I feel hella stupid and disappointed in myself 🤦🏾‍♀️ (to be fair it wasn't the only reason I didn't make the cut. The code could have being better)

My Fuxking iPhone just keeps scrolling up. I have no idea why and it did not drop. It’s literally a week old. Among all the shit I have refused to give a shit about, this now number one. In a way it controls my social media usage. Scrolling down Instagram and suddenly it bounces back up like “bitch get off this damn app”. I oblige. My ability to simply not give a fuck always surprises me. Lmao I can’t even scroll down my emails without two fingers, one literally holding the screen so it doesn’t bounce back up. Apps that auto load are the worst and I should probably be more concerned. I can barely use iMessage coz it keeps scrolling up to previous messages and coz of how iMessage was built, it’ll simply keep scrolling up to load old messages.

The idea of going back to work in an office terrifies me. Like...it really scares me. I really hope things work out even better than I hope and I get to keep working from home while still projecting my career upwards.

Told to work on a ticket with a partner. Partner changes my code to what they wanted. Review comes back and partner has to change back to my format.

*sips juice coz I love the violence*

I wrote a script, modified + tested it and that worked fine 6 months ago. I expected to use it then but didn't but all good so i kept a special branch for my script which generates data from old db, formats it to new db structure and dumps it into a collection. In fact, i ran one of the scripts last month (360 records) and it worked fine. Today, when i need to migrate 14,000 records, script refuses to run. I am ready to fight the universe because wtf.

It is so comforting when senior senior senior engineers also tell you they have no idea why a fucking test spec occasionally fails. Literally, the spec is fine and all but sometimes, it just decides to say fuck off.

I spent the whole day unmotivated and watched peaky blinders because it is my time of the month and I honestly just lose all energy. Now its almost midnight and I am having to force myself to do work I was supposed to do during the day. Remind me again how useful a uterus is coz at this point I will sell it for a brand new workstation tbfh.

Anyone else having timeout issues connecting to git via ssh?? Had to switch remote urls to https on 3 different repos even with the right keys. Super weird.

Literally slept off during this zoom call. I just woke up I don't wth everyone is talking about. Turns out my PR was up for discussion. Now I have to review a bunch of shit I thought I was done with. OS maintainers can be a pain sometimes 😭

PR done and dusted. Welp! Somehow all permissions on files have been changed. I didnt change it. Wtf happened? Log search turns up I did change it while resolving merge conflicts. I don't know how. Anyway now I am spending my afternoon working on the vaguest fucking issue and reverting back all file permissions. Might have somehow fucked up two repos and will have to fix them all. Kill me. Now

I spent 3 days trying to do some azure devops work. Finally resolved to contacting support and their engineers resolved my issue in literally less than 15 mins.

This is a Microsoft support appréciation post. Twice they have saved me in mins after days of fumbling around and over engineering my ass off.

Okay. So my dumbass boss took this project that had a steep timeline. I told him straight up, it won't work because we won't make the timeline. If we do this, I will be the one bending over backwards to deliver. I don't like to promise and fail. I got the oh don't worry let's just try. If we don't make it that's fine. Unfortunately that's not how I work. I refuse to deliberately fail. So I say okay and we begin. I suggested open source is the fastest way to deliver bit the fucked up part is, I am the only senior dev in the team. I will be expected to reverse engineer the open source app to connect our own deployment parameters. Use tech I have never used before. Connect frontend and backend. Handle dns bullshit. I have literally been working on Vibes and coffee for the past two weeks because ofcourse I ran into so many issues. Now I have an extension for Monday and I hate to fail. So I am not sleeping or resting just working on a fucking java app I didnt build and I am expected to make it work seemlessly on our production environment. I made some progress. Deployed frontend, deployed backend. Forgot to connect production dB so I decided to go with azure database for mysql driver since we have credits on azure. Now my java app is pissing itself over ssl handshake. I generate my keystore and add it and now java socket just times out. I want to pummel somebody or a punching bag that looks like my boss.

Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.

Nothing is as painful as trying to pull, build and push docker images using less than 1 mbps WiFi speed 😭

Remember that time I did an interview and it went horribly and I wanted to die then got called back and aced that shit? Well I got the job. Pay is bunkers too. Excited to be part of a new very cool project.

Guessing my rant free streak is over. Trying to connect to a mongo atlas cluster. Just migrated from mlab as mongo Inc is discontinuing the heroku add on.
Migration went well. I can connect to atlas cluster via mongo shell.
Reactive mongo claims it supports dns seed list. I add mongodb+srv connection string. Doesn't work.
I go back to atlas and allow all ips access (migrating staging dB first to make sure all is well so I can whitelist all ips) - > send a request-> mongo error. No primary node is available.
Disconnect from my network, connect to another network, same thing. I push the connection string to my server, test using an ssl connection to make a request, still no primary node available. I am about to lose my mind.

!rant
Being a while I was here fe. Guess I have had nothing to be angry with, at or by. I have not really being coding lately (well I have but for like 2 hours or less a day) maybe because I overworked myself in the past months and finished up most of the backend requirements for the startup. Quite bored with the project lately. Now I just manage the team and make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing. I have simply being at home watching animé and floating through my days. Planning a trip in a few days to hopefully get me out of this unenthusiastic funk as I am starting a new job next month and would love to be of top energy and motivation by then.

I always refuse to read the entire documentation carefully then 2 hours later regret skimming through it coz as expected, i miss the fucking obvious and end up wasting my time. You'd think by now i would learn. It must be madness really.

Installed JDK 14 and now everything has scattered. Cannot build, run or compile because of a plethora of config that must be updated. Literally want to die. Naturally, i would update my java home path to my old version in my bash_profile right? well tough shit. that didn't work either. Really fucking frustrated rn. Its like Java and sbt on my machine are at war.

Completed all interview stages with a recruitment firm last month. Passed all the stages. They reach out to me to begin with. They reach out to me saying they are currently waiting to hear back from the partner firm whom they shared my profile with but I was successful in the final stage. I asked the recruiter what's up like a month ago and she said she was waiting to hear back from the partner. It's been 4 weeks now and I don't want to seem desperate so I am holding off on emailing the recruiter again. Do u guys think it is a bust offer? The company is prominent here and I feel they wouldn't make me go through all the stages of interview if they didn't have a placement for me. I am so impatient coz I am basically out of a job rn, haven't been paid in the second month and man I need this job coz I know they pay well. What do I doooo???

I am lying down on the floor because I cannot figure out why this specs pass locally but repeatedly fail on the ci/cd pipeline. Literally done everything now I just want to lie here and sleep.

I have this sbt test that keeps failing on CI. Locally it works fine but soon as it goes through circle CI, shit gets fucked. Now when I incessantly keep rerunning the working flow without any change, it eventually passes and I am able to deploy. I have no idea wtf is happening or what to do about it. Isn't containerizatiom supposed to solve this whole worked on my machine conundrum? I am too unenthusiastic and numb to even feel anyway about this. Wish everything would end.

Anyway I just want to fucking write code. I don't want to deal with people or give an opinion that is not appreciated. My manager says I am too aggressive but the truth is I hate stupidity and incompetence. I tell them their ideas are shit and not in a polite way and they make HR call me. Now I don't say shit and they are asking what I think. I think all of you are cunts that's what I think.but I don't say that. I say no comment when I know they are about to fall into a massive ditch. Will I stop them? Fuck no. Will I help them out if the ditch? Maybe, if it only involves writing code. I can't do diplomacy. I'll definitely be a fucking tyrant if I ever ruled a nation.

After working for weeks writing sophisticated Scala code, and building à team of react devs working on this for months, these fuckers come to me with let's go the cms route. I would like to sincerely declare, fuck this company and I hope it crashes and burns. I know start-ups are constantly changing and iterating but this is straight up nonsense.

Sent products a list of everything wrong with their requirements and why it would take an army to build (there are only 2 of us backend ninjas). Suddenly its crickets. No-one is replying me now. Suckers..

What do you do when your team of developers are extremely slow at development??

Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.