Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.

Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.

I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?

X: (Tells what it is).

I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?

X:: Sure. In interview questions.

I: What?

X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.

I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)

X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?

I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?

X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.

I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?

X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated)  Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?

X: I would, er, Google that.

I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?

X: Google?

I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?

X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?

I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.

X: That’s great, because React came out last year.

I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?

X: 37.

I: What?!

X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.

I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.

X: Everything is there in the resume.

I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?

X: Japanese culture.

I: Interesting. What specifically?

X: Hentai.

I: What’s hentai?

X: It’s an televised art form.

I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?

X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.

I: I meant technical challenge.

X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.

I: Why did you do that?

X: I had nothing better to do.

I: Why did you decide to apply to us?

X: The voices in my head told me.

I: What?

X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?

X: Money, baby!

I: (shocked)

X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.

I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for.  What do you feel about constant overtime?

X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?

I: What is your biggest weakness?

X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.

I: What are your salary expectations?

X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.

I: Great. Any questions for me?

X: No.

I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.

I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

All Credit to:

  • 155
    Hentaiiiii! :D
  • 149
    Definitely worth the read xD
  • 15
  • 41
    Can't stop laughing
  • 17
    This is what I need ..Thanks
  • 78
    @dfox This should be on a cartoon episode!
  • 22
    @dfox I agree with the above statement. This is legendary
  • 8
  • 36
    @dfox totally upvoting this interview for a cartoon! This is pure satire of a very real and recognizable part of our lives, for any one of us in the industry...
  • 8
    This just made my day!!
  • 13
    @dfox cartoon pls
  • 7
    Omg definitely one of the best rant I read here. Thanks for sharing dude.
  • 5
    Haha so much laugh
  • 7
    Scrolled all the way up just to increment
  • 3
    Woooooo! That was awesome
  • 3
    😂😂 HAHA
  • 14
    I had a great interview question once it was "When you leave and you remember that question you wanted to ask, what would that question be?" to which i replied "i can't tell you as it hasn't happened yet".
  • 21
    Back when I was in highschool I got a job at a tea shop.... During the interview they asked: "If you were to describe yourself as a cupcake, what would it be?"

    What the hell... What kind a question is that. Pretty sure I said "Well that's a pointless question; Probably a vanilla cupcake with a cherry on top"

    Seriously though. What the hell.
  • 4
    Too bad it's credited, fun story otherwise. Just wondering if it's all made up or did a interview really go this way?
  • 13
    7 years of reactjs and Hentai! Lol
  • 4
    😂😂😂 amazing
  • 5
    I might take some inspiration from this. :P
  • 5
    That curve from overtime pay though ...😂😂
  • 8
    I will definitely need to try this after securing a job just so I don't look slick AND homeless.
  • 3
    :-D that was good
  • 3
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  • 4
    @Jop- well, curl-ing all pages is fucking bad idea, do you mean to use stack api?)
  • 3
    @Jop- oh, thank you)
  • 4
    I wish I had this gut to tell a recruiter
  • 2
    The most Epic fucking interview!!😂😂
  • 5
    @dfox cartoon this
  • 3
    The only time where linked list is used is in Interview...tat part cracked me up
  • 3
    That's why I (a technical interviewer) will be the one asking the situationals around here, thank you very much.
  • 2
    😂😂😂 that was good
  • 3
    @trogus cartoon worthy rant here
  • 2
  • 6
    @dfox @trogus cartoon this piece of gold
  • 4
    This is the most hilarious stuff I have come across from some time 😂😂
  • 4
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  • 2
    Was worth reading, hentai and google
  • 2
    But do you know why manholes and sewers are round?
  • 2
    Because thats the shape that can best withstand the crushing forces that the ground around it causes
  • 2
    That was awesome... 😂😂😂
  • 3
    How to copy this rant? Man , i want to make a meme out of this xD
  • 2
    I seriously can't believe I haven't come across this before. This is hilarious hahahahaha
  • 2
    this guy should have been hired as a ceo
  • 3
    Biggest mistake of Interviewer : " let’s pretend we are going to have fun here."

    and Mr. X .. Nailed it!
  • 3
    Oh my God. I had a good laugh reading through 😂😂😂
  • 3
    This is raw infinity gold
  • 2
    I thought I was the only one who found pointless to ask about linked lists and Big O notation in interviews nowadays unless you're applying at Google or the NASA
  • 2
    Not that savage

    but my version

    I: where do see your self in 5 years?

    Me: Either running own startup or in product based company.

    I: why you think this job is for you?

    Me : You posted job description that matched with my skills

    I : what is your sal expection ?

    Me : Maximum

    I : tell me about your self

    Me : already in resume

    I : what is not in resume

    Me : my pubg ID ******

    I : we will call you

    *they was serious ,they called me after 1 weak*
  • 2
    Given how "well" I typically interview, I may as well as mention hentai.
  • 2
    That's true.....👍
  • 4
    @kkdev @kalex This god damn amazing, imagine anyone giving this interview to you-know-who!!!
  • 2
  • 1
    Really awesome, Sad that I read it after 2yrs......
  • 0
    hahaha.. spent 10 hours installing Windows on mac
  • 1
    Reminds me of when I went into a phone shop and wanted to know about, well you know, a phone..

    They had a phone expert there.

    Only they didn't know about about phones..

    I asked if they had any jobs going.

    They asked why..

    I said, well, if you can get a job and you don't know anything, and I know a little bit more, it should be easy !

    They didn't seem very happy..
  • 0
    I can imagine him going to watch hentai after the interview, and someone walks in on him (not Mr X, the boss)
  • 0
    To the question "how many piano tuners in San Francisco" I would have simply replied: 42 😃
  • 0
    Mr X is crazy, but i like him. LMAO
  • 0
    Absolutely brilliant. Thank you!
  • 0
    I really really really REALLY want to give these exact answers in an interview...
  • 0
  • 0
    Hahaha, the X nailed it
  • 0
    Hentaaai :D :D :D
  • 0
    This is what I need ..Thanks
  • 0
    I laughed and thorough enjoyed it. But upon reflection, I felt like crying because that is painfully true at the same time. Interviews are becoming more of a sequence of dances in a russian roulette than actual relevant questions that pertain to that role.
  • 0
    I might take some inspiration from this post
  • 0
  • 0
    I keep seeing hentai pop up on this site... Anyway, just 7 more comments to my avatar
  • 0
    Omg lol. Great post.
  • 0
    This is surprisingly accurate
  • 0
    Best rant out there
  • 2
    Not bad
  • 0
    this kind of post charges admission the rides so good.
  • 0
    hahahah lol
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