We are getting a lot of questions about the performance of one of our site. An external bureau sended over a document with every little lighthouse point to improve. Im ok with that but if i turn that into a 3 page document with my own findings and a manager says: i dont get it maybe you should start reading the document because you clearly didn’t.

I fucking love noise cancelling headphone. Not just to block the noise but also to dive elbows deep into focus mode with code.

That is until your partner sneeks up to you on the side you don’t see.

I’m not kidding i just had a fucking heart attack guys!

Fucking idiot lead dev who’s 10 years younger then me doesnt know fucking respect. Dumbass comes with every new framework there is:
- ow we should try abc.js
One week later
- now we should totally get in def.js. It’s soooo much better then abc.js!

Screwing up projects, asking for an extra pair of eyes and then asking wtf is this code.

Im out of here if we’re hiring toddlers for lead developers because they are willing to work 50 hours a week. I better get that raise soon.

January is always the month of feedback and reflection. I dont mind going to the office x times a week and standing still on the highway every day. But if they are asking me to spend my own time on a course now they can lick my balls. Im already working for two years without a raise. Ik not continuing like this. I understand everyone needs to improve but if im exhausted at the end of the day by all the buzz in the office i dont have energy left for additional schooling. Im learning on the job. Deal with it

Couple of new colleages started last year.

Working with the new Full stack dev: Your WP site is slow? Try this new shiny CMS and just start all over!

Working with the new designer:
Can you send me the assets? Can you send me the assets? Can you also send me asset A? Can you also send me asset B?

Working with the new project manager:
So is it correct that i’m planned in for five projects today?!

Me; Develops website. Website is done.

Client; we want an english version as well!

Me; implements english version.

Client; we want to go live but without the english version for now

*Fkc gmfbl gdddmn*

I’m already put on “support” for days if not weeks now and i’m tired of it. Give me a concrete project instead of the usual bucket of shit please!

Client breaks website and i’m the one trying to fix things. For two unplanned hours i’ve been trying to help and instead of a thank you i get a thanks for nothing message. I’m not responding to this client next time. Fuckn bitch

If Wordpress gives you a blank screen of death. Do not check with your frontend developer what’s wrong. Your frontend developer does not have a clue since this is probably backend related

Last week was crazy. Major clients needed attention and we don’t have enough developers. How can someone not start to make mistakes.

Meanwhile mr manager runs off like he’s outta here and blaming us. Goddammit

We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?

8/9 never hear ever from then again.

1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!

I had a half our discussion the other day with a projectmanager about the menu. He wanted to have both inpage anchor links as well as normal links in the main navigation. I found it completely stupid and didn’t get why you would want this. It’s totally unexpected behaviour from a users perspective and tried for 30 minutes to convince him of his stupidity.

Afterwards i gave in, sure, i’ll make it your stupid way. The actual pages that are there now won’t be visible anymore but if this is what you reallllllly want: sure.

Yesterday he came with a remark: the pages that used to be there can’t be reached anymore.

Always trust your developer

Another crazy project. Just 2 pages but only 3 days to build it. And everything is custom and needs adjustments from our standard. I’m stressed as fuck!

I had a challenge this week. I had to develop a business site in less then 5 days. I’m pretty happy with the result especially since i estimated multiple weeks for a site like this.

Ofcourse the manager had to come over and complain and bitch about alignments of elements. I’m sorry dude but with this kind of abnormal time pressure you don’t have the right to complain. Period.

I recently moved to a house where my gf and me each have our separate office space. However, i’m sitting with my back to the door so whenever i’m in the zone with noise cancelling on and my gf walks in i don’t hear her. Resulting in me having a couple of almost heart attacks lately.

I have ideas about mirrors or sensors but since i’m working of three screens i din’t think it will do. The second option is ofcourse to move the desk to the other side of the room so that i’m facing the door more. But there are no power plugs.

My gf basically locks her door by sitting in front of it. Also she doesnt have a noise cancelling head set.

I have to translate (read copy paste) a website in 8 different languages. Already busy with this for four weeks and building a doc with all parts missing. Fml

The amount of meetings i had today is insane. We are discussing which text should be a label and which should be a header.

The good news is that i didn’t have competely empty batteries in my headset!

I’m goin nuts here. I’m trying to build a website and everytime i think i’m finished the designer adds a little change or an extra page. Meanwhile projectmanager is asking if we can finish asap. Fuuuuuckofffff

And another one bites the dust. This is colleague number 5 this year. So far only one person got a replacement. Great that all the rest of us get more workload to handle.

Meanwhile i overheard the manager make a sarcastic comment about developers like “who needs developers”.

Good thing my crypto savings are gaining atm. I’m giving this company another year. Max.

Always nice to hear colleages say: great work on this website. Really neat.

Two days later: yeah, i gathered some feedback for the site…

*beware, pile of shit comments incoming*

There is a study budget here for €500. I check for vue courses but they are all €1500+. Great

Since i started working at this company; 99% of all work was completely new for me. Every god damn time i’m being put on a project i’ve never seen before or worked on. This is so tiring and f’d up. Vacation period is on, we don’t have enough people and the people that are there are on vacation. What projectmanagement? Never heard of it. The actual project manager here is depending on the on developer who is able to keep a bit of an overview.

Can’t complain. I get paid right? And it’s a shithole everywhere. Right?
This is just temporary….

Rawr. Also know as test, but then with a slightly dispositioned hand

Architect of this building is so stupid. The toilet lights are triggered by movement. But they are not hanging in the toilet itself. Im wiping my ass with my flashlight on now…

Why? Why would someone choose to wrap a hr in a container and a section. And save that in hr.php? Seriously php is so full of crap. Just add your spacing to the css this is nuts!

Working for a company that hasn’t fully implemented git yet.

Servers are a freaking mess.

.old
.bak
Very-very-old
Backup

If havent post a rant in a while since i started a new job a month ago. It is a pretty chill company. Not sure if that’s because i’m working remote and almost don’t have communications or…

I have to work on this project. Appearently from 2018. It’s all php and Wordpress here. I don’t have major deal against it but this project..

I have flushed down prettier things then this piece of shit code. My god. And this is live. The horror!

Asked; fullstack developer. Must know .net Core and photoshop. Wtf

Back in the day when daily standups where still physical, i worked at a place you had to pay a euro if you where late. This money would then be used to buy the team dinner on pizza nights for example. Ofcourse everything changed with the daily standups being digital now.

How would you still implement somekind of correction for people being late unnecessary?

When you want to ask your colleague a question and he everything he says is max speed and stressed as hell:

everythingisjustreallysimplejustclickclickclickydyclikandyouaredonesir.

Owandwhatyoudidntknowiworkonwindowastheonlyonebutthatshouldntreallybeaproblemyadybladieyaetcetera

...but but i knew halfway already where his answer was going and still he continues instead of having an actual conversation it’s waaaay better to talk as much as possible in the shortest amount of time.