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Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
Why are interviewers so resistant to letting people use Google while doing coding questions? It’s not like I can remember all the semantics of every language anyway, and so much of coding is learning to use Google correctly.9
One of the RH interviewers started asking about myself, personal information, etc..
He : well, let me introduce you our tech lead, he will make you some question about JS
Me : alright
Me : yes..?
Tech Lead : ok, cool. We will call you.
I got the job..8
I recently interviewed for a job at company where I had 20 minutes to code a solution in python (whose standard library I know nothing about) to a question, which also included googling certain finance-related APIs, with not one but two technical interviewers looking over my shoulder THE ENTIRE TIME.9
What the fuck is up with interviewers asking about my goddamn hobbies now? My hobby is slowly going blind while frustratedly talking to myself through an anthropomorphized rubber duck you fucking idiot, that's why I'm here in the first place. "Well we want a well rounded person". I'll give you a well-rounded asshole. It used to be, "well do you write code in your spare time too"? What the fuck do they want from us? Next time I'm answering this new "hobby" question as follows:
I DO COKE AND FUCK STRIPPERS! I'M THE ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER YOU'RE ALWAYS JERKING OFF TO, CAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THAT YOU ASTONISHING PUSSY?17
Worst: The guy gave me 5 minutes to code a given assignment on paper. I did all the logic and told him I was missing a function whose name I would just Google. He told me I can't always Google. Well... I won't be coding on paper either.
Best: I was given the assignment to clone a part of a production site. Assignment was intended for 3 days and I was given 5 hours. Completition wasn't important, only structure and coding style counted. I cloned everything and even added new features.
You just can't always be in the zone. I hope more interviewers would take that into account and design better questions.4
Why are Job interview tests so reliant on knowledge of the language's functions!
I dabble in a few languages and I don't bother learning all the basic functions of by heart...
Eg: len(str), str.length, str.Length, strlen(str)
why... because they are literally a 5 second Google. Unfortunately for us, this quick search isn't possible and I think it should be.
Another example of bad interviews is a coder with 37 years experience but was unable to get a job at Google (link: http://gwan.com/blog/20160405.html)
He was asked strict questions by someone who didn't know much about computers let alone programming. Unfortunately, since the interviewer wanted exact answers, the coder was unable to complete the interview. He answered all the questions validly and with depth but this was not written down on the interviewers sheet.
Do employers want people that have a good and broad knowledge of their field or people that know what they want them to know. It's getting ridiculous.9
Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.
Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes
On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.
So yeah, Fuck You Google
I got my job because I've been myself. As soon as I laughed with the interviewers I knew I got it.
They choose you for a interview out of all the other CVs because they hope you know your stuff. Proof it! And most important - show your character. Don't be a blank paper! Make fun with them. Or at least leave some kind of positiv impression.
The funny part:
I applied for jobs in Austria while doing my Bachelor degree in the UK. Over Skype they had no idea I was wearing sweatpants.1
This is not an interview test just an awkward experience in general regarding interview.
This happened two years ago when I was a fresh university graduate looking for a job in UK as an immigrant (Im EU national).
Went to an interview for a web dev+tech support position. Two fat guys with tshirts met me and started interviewing me for a sysadmin position. Started asking me about disaster recovery and stuff.
Turns out recruiter messed up not only companies but positions as well. Also these two guys didnt bother to check anything.
I pulled out the job ad for which I applied originally, interviewers had a look at it and still proceeded questioning me while knowing that I prepared for completely different position interview.
Needless to say, it went terrible and I didnt get the job. I dont know if its just me or Im unlucky, but I had a lot of encounters in UK with so many incompetent recruiters.3
Grr the feeling when one of your interviewers has a hard-on for trying to find ways to sink your boat.
Went to a job interview yesterday during my lunch break for a mid level dev job in central London , i have been trying to transition from a junior role.
First were two senior devs , that went quiet well...
Next up was the tech lead and a team lead, lets call the latter Mc-douche for some problem
The tech lead was fine, very relaxed and clam guy more interested in seeing the logic of my answers and questions as to why i did certain things in this or that manner....
Mc-douche, he would always try to find something wrong then smile smugly and do that sideways head waggle thing
His tech lead is like " yup that's correct"
But he would be like " yeeess but you didn't think about bla bla bla" then talk about shit not even present in the context of the question
Ah also he would ask a question then cut me off as soon as I begin to say that i didnt mention or take into account x or y even though literally my next sentence is about address those details he wanted.
let me fucking finish you dickbag 😡
Had a js question, simple stuff about dom manipulation, told not to bother with code... yet McD starts asking me to write the code for it....managed it , quite easy stuff
Then a sql and db test , again technlead was happy with the answers and the logic am approaching the question when writing my query, yet mc d Is bitching about SQL syntax....
Ok fine, i made a simple mistake, I forgot and used WHERE instead of HAVING in a group by but really?! Thats his focus ?!
Most devs I know look up syntax to do stuff , they focus on their logic first the do the impl.
Then a general question on some math and how i would code to impl a solution on paper
That was a 20 mins one, the question said they didn't expect me to finish it totally so
I approached it like an exam question.
I focussed on my general flow of my process, listing out each step.
Then elaborated each step with pseudo code showing my logic for each of the key steps.
Then went deeper and started on some of the classes and methods , was about to finish before it was time up.
Mc douch went through my solution
And grudgingly admitted my logic was "robust enough" it was like he really had to yank that deep out of his colon.
I didn't really respond to any of his rudeness throughout the whole interview,i either smiled politely or put on a keen looking poker face.
Really felt awful the rest of the day, skipped the gym and went home after work, really sucks to have a hostile interviewer.
Pretty sure i wont be hearing anything good from them even though the three other interviewers were happy with me I felt.4
Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.
I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.
I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.6
I work in a contract position and reviewed the code of a senior engineer recently. Regretfully I can't provide context to preserve anonymity.
- handled a single DOM element with 2 different frontend libraries
- used the logical operator && to 'chain' two methods (it didn't work) instead of returning a boolean value,
- broke everything down into minute detail (a comment box had 7 components!),
- API calls were made for every component update instead of maintaining local component state where it made sense, which meant UI updates were slow,
- animated EVERYTHING, which made my Firefox on Xubuntu i7 64bit with 16GB RAM beg for mercy.
I had a rough couple of months with interviews, with 2nd stage technical interviewers throwing impossible tasks at me.
3. Hack a website from the browser's address bar using parameters ( what?!! ),
Obviously, the next time I meet a 'senior', I'm going to tell him talk is cheap;
'SHOW ME YOUR CODE.'3
Next time I'm asked to solve the FizzBuzz problem in a interview, I think I'll write this, just to mess with the interviewers a bit:
Six or seven years ago, I worked for a large financial organization as part of a very large effort to convert server assets from physical to virtual. The consultants on site were in bed with the vendor of a terrible piece of software designed for that purpose. After a couple weeks on the job I'd had it, and sat down in between sessions of "validating" the conversion procedure, and started writing my own software for converting Linux servers. After a couple days it was working great, and they wound up adopting my software as the default method for Linux conversions.
Years later, I'm interviewing for my current job and one of the interviewers tells me he used my converter some time later and loved it. Pretty sure it's what swung the interview for me.
Do real interviewers (I mean those who are smart and have some experience) still ask questions like "what are your weaknesses"?
Dumbass, why the fuck should I declare, not just to you but also to myself, that I have some particular weaknesses? I know what I'm not good at, and I'll keep trying to improve. But unless my weakness is that I get a massive boner during team meetings, you don't need to know about it. I'm not telling you. Just know my strengths - that's enough. If you're just following a standard list of interview questions that you didn't even come up with, stop pretending to be an interviewer for heavens' sake.8
Can interviewers PLEASE stop asking cliche and terrible questions??
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me: "Not with you guys obviously, you dumb piece of shit."
That's what I'd like to say to them at least... :/7
I probably didn't get the job. The client says I definitely have some experience but with all the mindfuck questions that cannot be answered straight, it's hard to know for sure if I passed. The client even asked me if I passed the technical interview conducted a few minutes before the client interview. I said I don't know, they (technical interviewers) should know. I probably answered all these kinds of questions wrong but how the fuck should you answer them correctly? My brutal honesty is my biggest weakness. I simply cannot lie or make shit up. I can't stand the fucking cognitive dissonance and the additional brain resources to keep up with the lies.
They seem to insinuate that I'm selling myself short for saying I'd probably be a junior developer in Python when I'm a senior developer in my current job. I explained to them that my job requires various skills where I qualify as a senior but if I would compare my Python skills to someone who is focused on that language and spent years with it, I'd be a junior. I should have said mid-level at least. I fucking hate this goddamn self-esteem. I'm a dumbfuck. Whatever.
Whatever happens, I still want to study Python. Order some books online. Any suggestions?11
I was in the last stage of a 12 hour interview process (over 3 days), meeting with the CEO/founder of the company. His final conclusion was (and he said this directly to me) that he felt I would do really well, and that my skill set was perfect and all the feedback from the interviewers was top notch...but he asked if I was published or had any patents. I said “no”. So, he paused and then said “well, without a full 4 year degree or either having been published or having any patents, I think we would be taking too great a risk. I mean, there’s a chance you would work out. I have taken that chance before, and he’s now our CTO. But I’m just not sure about this”.
I was not offered the position.6
I've never been to a job interview yet (most of the cunts here in Belgium work with Windows Server 🤮, and I'm still studying electronics), but given most of the submissions on this group rant, I think that I might very well have seriously overestimated interviewers! 😄2
just got rejected after interview because I just cracked on with the coding exercise and didn't ask for the interviewers help (trying to create a collaborative environment) even though I smashed out the solution.... maybe dodged a bullet there5
Had my 2nd job interview.
Two of the interviewers were great, but the third interviewer was like an asshole.
Always tried to make me stuck somewhere haha10
ok, well, I have a list of worst interview experiences. here is one. This was my very first job interview.
[Things differ with places, but where I live, we give a lot of respect to teachers, interviewers etc]
It was my turn for the interview and I forgot to knock the door. The interviewer didn't like that. But I guess he ignored.
I also forgot to ask to get in. So, instead of pointing out my mistake, he taunted me. When I was already in, in front of him, he looked at me and said "Yh, come in!" as in, you forgot to ask that. But I was already more then, just in.
I felt sorry, quietly sat down on the chair. when I was well settled on my chair, he looked at me and said "Yh! sit down please!". Again reminding me I forgot to ask him to sit down.
Should I have apologized atleast? I forgot to do so! So he reminded me again, "Oh that's okay! don't say sorry."
It was enough embarrassing for me already when I hadn't even utter a word. I don't give a damn about interviews anymore, but well, that was my first one! You must know that feel.
Well, he was quite happy with the rest of the interview, so at the end of it he told me "it's okay it usually happens initially. You'll get used to it pretty soon." I ignored that later but could never forget how it all started. 😂🎃2
Had an interview last week set up by a recruiter. Interview went well, aced the tech part, got on well with the interviewers, etc. They had one more interview the next day and would make the decision. Got feedback from recruiter the next day. I was in the top 2. Was told I had the best experience and skills. Thought I had this. Later that day got told they went with the other candidate because my recruiters presented me for $5000 more than the employer's posted upper limit. The employer just felt my salary requirements would push their budget too much so they went with the cheaper, less qualified candidate.
Not happy with my recruiter at all!
Heard a job position opened through a friend. Passed him my CV since we don't know his email (lol how?)
Got called for an interview + technical test. Came and they were expecting my CV. They somehow misplaced my CV (lol again how?)
Told the interviewers that I made a couple of apps for fun and informative. Tested me by doing a value switch between 2 variables without introducing a third variable. Done and dusted.
A month later, the company that interviewed me disappeared.
That's my definition of the worst interview rejection. Company pulled a Houdini without telling all of their candidates that we're rejected.14
I would like to present you the story that I tell everyone who is afraid of expectations, stressed to impress interviewers etc. Story about how I got my first job.
A little of backstory:
I always was good with computers, not like expert, but good. Of course parents were against giving me admin rights, so I just played games or such. When time came to choose my path throgh life, I've chosen to go medicine-related way, and chosen high school with such profile. I did my exams terribly, cause I never cared about marks, so I applied to uni for Information and Communication Technology course. I've learned basics of coding there, much stuff I don't really need right now, but in the end it was the best choice I've made.
With that way too long prologue...
I had to do internship for my uni and decided to try and find some year earlier. There was a lecture about multiplatform coding held by company my uni had partnership with. I've filled a questionare and few weeks later they invited me for assessment - event where they will choose who is good enough.
Of course I didn't believe in my chances to win an internship (1st place got full time job). There were 3 stages:
- solo coding (C/C++ own implementation of list)
- group designing (UML and presentation according to specification)
- interview (talking about code from stage 1, some questions, theory)
I failed 1st stage miserably... so I decided to don't give a shit and bravely presented our group project. A guy asked why we did not included a thing on UML, so I told him that it was not in specification - he was suprised but took it as big +. We "won" that part. When it came to interview... I was myself, cool headed, admited when I don't know things.
I thought that was it.
Few weeks later I received email - they invited me for internship.
They put me into Python project, language that noone in our trainee team knew. Told us 2/4 will be hired. At first I was not interested, wanted to finish my degree. But they convinced me. Now I'm here +2 years.
I am aware there are not many companies like that. Here, the people matters - you don't have to know everything, as long as you are getting along with others.
My tip for you though is: BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY 🎶
And I wish us more companies like that.😉1
Just got interviewed for a project today.The interviewers knows i am a fresher and the last thing that they told me after the entire interview was that the job requires a 4 yr experience!!! I was standing there and wondering why am i being interviewed then and how was my profile selected for the job 😂2
Fuck the entire fucking HR!!!!
I just happened to help my colleague to interview some new developer candidate, since he was so busy. Next thing I know I was registered as this "Tech interviewer committee".
Oh and the HR always conduct interview sessions suddenly. I got calendar invitation at 10.30pm to interview a candidate tomorrow morning at 9am. They don't even gave me the candidate's resume until 1 hour before interview starts. How the hell am I supposed to prepare?!
This has been going on for more than 3 months now. I thought it's because they happened to forgot to schedule, but this has been going on for many times already. Oh, and they doesn't even tell us the required qualifications or any pass/fail criteria. They leave that to the interviewers, wtf
My first experience of interviewing candidate was as a substitute, then they throw me to weekly hell of meeting strangers and asking them questions. No guide, no example, just do whatever and give judgement.
Imma gonna give them a piece of my mind tomorrow3
Adobe labs released one new component, I played with it after two days. Went to an interview with huge company after two weeks for a developer position, the interviewers was from different departments, they asked about one technical challenge they have, then I suggest the new component as solution, they gave me small task to implement using the component, I delivered it next day... Then they hired me in R&D department. It was great days.
How to respond to the "How do you rank yourself in technology X on a scale from 1 - 10"?
What is 10? Why are recruiters and interviewers asking such questions?7
Know your shit and don't give a fuck.
Sometimes interviewers are just idiots or monkeys.
I dunno, I've had a few interviews where it just doesn't click. While I'm sitting there, I say to myself: this is nothing like what you said on your job description.. and I've seen all your "technical questions" on Google
I had a coding interview with Amazon. I had to implement a depth-first search algorithm with no prior experience while 2 devs watched me code on a collaborative IDE. To make it worse, the connection was terrible on the conference call and one of the interviewers had a very thick accent. I barely understood what they wanted me to do until I typed out:
Breadth-first search || Depth-first search?
// Sorry, phone keeps cutting off and I can barely hear you
Yeah, I didn't make it to the next round. :(2
My class team picks me for a competition.
My team tells me to do everything and doesn't give me an outline of what they want for the code or design.
They have 7 members. + me, 8.
I have to design and code the whole app on android.
Furthermore it was my first time with library stuff.
I had to develop from 10pm to 6 am with short rests in between. Almost no sleep.
It's impossible sht. I continue with it.
When it was time for school, I just went to school as per usual.
When it was the interview someone just had to roast the judges.
Our idea was very sophisticated; was to help track down elderly or child with a gps tracker and the app.
Didnt got in the qualifiers because of the leader being an asshole to the interviewers.
Heard nothing back from an interview I attended 3 weeks ago. I'm sure this sort of thing is common, but it's never happened to me before.
It's so shitty and unprofessional.
The interview was a joke anyway, bouncing between business questions (strictly non-technical, as I learned that one of the interviewers thought Bootstrap and JS were the same), a written test for a Junior (testing to see if you knew arrays started at 0), then random technical questions which didn't allow me to prove what I could actually do.
So what the fuck are you recruiting for here, a business person, Junior, Mid or Senior developer?!
Total fucking bullshit.
Surely the best way to test a candidate is to let them try to fix a recent bug from your app?
Annoying because I know I can do the job.
Fuck you and your shitty fucking questions.
So is it just a standard thing, now, where interviewers get you to do a coding problem remotely on a shared notepad while they watch you over video chat? For me at least, it is the most uncomfortable style of interview I've experienced. I don't think I'll ever get through one :(4
I volunteered to interview interns and new grads for a Fortune 500 company. Interview day consisted of a tour, then interviews, then the pool of interviewers would commune and rank the candidates explaining why to hire or not. This was the last round before the offer.
There was this one lady who always said "yes" to basically all candidates. One of the reasons given at one of these sessions was that she felt bad saying no.
Wonder how many pity hires got through that one...1
Spent most of my time studying algorithms, data structures and other theoretical stuffs in college. But tried to do some web development with heavy frontend for course projects and for fun (beautify my cv as well)
Interviewers: wow, you'r experience quite focused on frontend and graphics
Me: (poker face…)2
What's wrong with interviewers who never call or send an email?
It's not like it was a bad date you want to get out of. It's a fucking interview!!3
This not a rant, but I want to ask you some advice from you the community.
Before that I want to tell you about me. I have an invisible handicap. I'm half-deaf. I have some moderately severe loss between ~500 - 3000 Hz. To give you some idea, its in the range of clock ticking, whispering, piano notes, pronounced letters (m, n, p, h, g, ch and sh sounds), leaves crushing or waving in the wind.
I use hearing aids, however I can't always count on those because if it's too loud (ex: airplane flying over the building), I can't hear the voices that are speaking in that moment. Or sometimes the tubes where the augmented sounds are passing to my ear are repleted because of humidity. So I don't hear 100% better but rather in the range of ~70 - 80%.
I'm going to need to do an internship next year to finish my studies. Since I will take interviews, I want to ask you if I should mention those details to my interviewer or keep it very simple and tell him that I use hearing aids?
I ask you this because I know people with hearing aids had problems to find a workplace because the interviewers feared the "unknown". Some needed to sign up for help for handicapped people to receive a workplace. For them it is a downside because they are tagged as "handicapped" in society.
I know here are some interviewers and I wanted to know some advice from them as well from you guys of the community.
If you want to know more about hearing loss, feel free to ask questions.3
4 really basic questions. Things you can't get through 1st year undergrad without knowing. One was testing you understand references, one testing understanding of inheritance, then exception handling... Then a bit of a tricky one: what happens when you query 2 tables in sql without a join. That took me a second because it's just not something I'm used to doing.
So yeah it's pretty basic stuff. At this point I was used to writing fairly long code snippets and quizzes with lots of gotchas that make the interviewers feel really smart. I think "ok they basically want to make sure I'm not totally useless and they're fine with training me". But noooooo. Being able to answer all that correctly is really impressive. That's never happened before. I'm a fucking prodigy.
So I got the job and I alternate between thinking I'm in Idiocracy and thinking the reception I get is some sort of elaborate joke
I have attended some interviews and have solved problems related to tree, queue and what not. But after joining bo matter what never worked on any of them as such. The only place I have worked on them is open source. Not really sure why the interviewers go through the process of asking them. And in lots cases as they have just copied these from net they even don't know any alternative answers or understand them. Quite shitty.
For a class we had to get an internship, the interviewers where quite enthousiastic. "So, when can you guys let us know whether you would like to join us?"
Why the fuck do I have to complete situational strength tests related to commercial shit when I'm applying for a Software Developer role? What the fuck is up with companies nowadays? This is why it's a good idea to be your own boss and either do freelance or make your own brand, because these interviewers know jack shit about technology and software and you cannot express your passion nor your knowledge. I'm sick of how bad the employment process is for software developers who are looking for jobs after graduation.
Went for an internship interview today
Interviewers= tell us a little about yourself
Me thinking haha I can mention the time I took a 300 level course in my freshman year (have ranted about this) and show them I can take up a challenge = I'm known in my batch for not making smart decisions
Interviewers = sarcastic clap
What the actual fuck,no why why would I even start off like this fucking shit what even am I stupid what even. Great job man great job.3