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Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
Asdfajsdfk.21 -
this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.
13 -
Hey @Root! I know you won't have time to finish Ticket A before holiday vacation, so work on Ticket B instead.
I finished Ticket A in time. except for converting/fixing some horrible spaghetti monstrosity. More or less: "we overwrote this gem's middleware and now it calls back into our codebase under specific circumstances, and then calls the gem again, which calls the middleware again." Wtf? It's an atrocity against rationality.
The second day after vacation:
Hey @Root, drop Ticket B and work on Ticket C instead. Can you knock this out quick, like before friday? ... Uh, sure. It looks easy.
Ticket C was not easy. Ticket C was a frontend CSS job to add a print button, and for unknown reasons, none of the styles apply during printing. The only code involved is adding a button with a single line of javascript: `window.print()`, so why give it to the chick who hasn't been given a frontend ticket in over a year? Why not give it to the frontend guy who does this all day every day? Because "do it anyway," that's why.
And in somewhere between 13 (now 5) minutes and two hours from now, I'm going to have a 1:1 with my boss to discuss the week. Having finished almost all of Ticket A won't matter because it's not a "recent priority" -- despite it being a priority before, and a lot of work. I've made no progress on Ticket B due to interruptions (and a total and complete lack of caring because I'm burned out and quite literally can no longer care), and no progress on ticket C because... it's all horribly broken and therefore not quick. I assigned it to Mr. Frontend, which I'll probably get chewed out for.
So, my 1:1 with bossmang today is going to be awful. And the worst part of all: I'm out of rum! Which means sobriety in the face of adversity! :<
but like, wtf. Just give me a ticket and let me work on it until it's done. Stop changing the damn priorities every other freaking day!17 -
!rant Pulled an accidental all-nighter on Friday because I started crocheting a blanket for the cats and lost track of time. I am becoming a crocheting fiend!
12 -
Dude
The client has a giant database with all credit and debit cards
ALL INFOS IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT
THE CARD NUMBER
THE CVV
THE EXPIRY DATE
I'M SHAKING AF38 -
Manager: In ALL cases if someone uses vanilla javascript to do something instead of a library then that is a sign they are an ABSOLUTE BEGINNER!!!
Dev: …12 -
ALRIGHT
WHAT FUCKING DUMBASS AT APPLE DECIDED THAT YOUR AIRPODS SHOULD PAIR WITH YOUR
CLOSED
FUCKING
MACBOOK
INSTEAD OF YOUR ACTIVELY SEARCHING IPHONE
PRODUCT MANAGERS ARE SHIT
DEVELOPERS ARE SHIT
THE WORST IS KNOWING THEY ALL EARN EASILY 6 FIGURES
AND ARE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AT EVERYTHING13 -
i hate this "She-EO" crap. they can call that feminism all they want, but all it does is set back women 40 years. yes, your red blazer is gonna break the glass ceiling honey 🙄15
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!dev
lol I keep getting in trouble over people taking secondhand-offense, and managers keep bringing up the same instances like I’m somehow at fault.
Look, if Alice says something to Bob, and Carol hears it and gets offended on Bob’s behalf, but Bob doesn’t? Carol should jump off a bridge.10 -
!rant I finished crocheting the capelet I was working on. Not too bad for a first attempt, I think!
26 -
Consequences Associated with Burnout:
- sleep deprivation ✅
- change in eating habits ✅
- increased illness due to weakened immune system ✅
- difficulty concentrating and poor memory/attention ✅
- lack of productivity ✅
- poor performance ✅
- avoidance of responsibilities ✅
- loss of enjoyment ✅
Have I just been burnt out and living it as my norm for the past 5 years? 🤡3 -
!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.
I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.30 -
Refactoring
When wrote some abstraction,
commented out the old stuff,
replaced it with the new calls
and after it passes all tests
get to remove all the old crud.
( ☼ ◡ ☼ )
I feel clean again.5 -
How to step up the level of emotional torture PhD students are subjected to by academia:
In addition to the normal status for submitted papers, which are "received", "under review" and "decision pending", let's add "undisclosed"!
Which means they know about the decision, you know they know, they know you know they know, but they will still leave you hanging for an unknown period of time, bathing in acidic dread.
11 -
???: Salesforce is simply the best. You can do anything you can dream of with it. It can solve all of your pro—
Dev: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.11 -
1.
!dev
Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.
2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.
3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.
4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢
5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭21 -
My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.
You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.4 -
Manager: Dev, you will submit to my leadership and surrender all common sense to agree with what I say or face consequences.
Dev: Manager, Fuck you!2 -
Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:
dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.
dude2: Could it be gravity?
dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.
dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.
dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck? -
The battle is lost. I'm implementing the mother of all stupid features because the sales team wants it.9
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Today I finally had to write a function for which the most descriptive name is objectively kill_all_children4
-
If Apple made an electric car, they would make all the charging stations incompatible every two years.16
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I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.1
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Thinking of starting an OnlyFans where I post all the atrocious shitcode that I find to make my fans miserable….7
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I bless everyone with happiness worth billions of dollars and additional billion dollar in cash.
Live happy everyone. I hope all your good dreams come true.24 -
I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.
Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞7 -
Best
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
Worst:
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
I hope I'm just tired.3 -
So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.2 -
Another shitty shitty day.
That's all I wanted to post. Don't ask or comment or bother.
Keep scrolling.. thank you!11 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.3 -
Just wanted everyone to know that I did a find and replace all in my project and it actually worked as intended.
That's all.8 -
Can we all just set aside our differences for one day and agree that Elon Musk DID NOT invent the electric car?
Please, for sanity's sake!13 -
You’re my friends! Right?
… right? 🥺
But in all honesty, it’s this and Virtual Coffee for me. I’ve made so many friends from Virtual Coffee (https://virtualcoffee.io). ❤️11 -
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them7 -
Special thanks to "-red" for making up for all the ++ I lost yesterday.
Who deleted their account, btw?31 -
Corp: you will get a four hour assignment to work out
Me: cool nice.
Corp: here it is, build a dragon with conflicting requirements, stocks but without any form of pricing mixed in. Then slay that dragon and post it to the static backend we created.
Me: cringe much?
Corp: yeah, you can spend more than 4h but be sure to spice things up abit. Since it is frontend, and all we spin up from the backend is flat data. But it must exhale an exciting user experience.
Me: stop the cringe pls!6 -
Mate; I've been reading for over a week to understand some concept.
All I have after all this time, is existential dread, lack of self-esteem and a fear of being too stupid to ever understand this concept. 😤10 -
Why is it what so many developers think that they are the sole genius surrounded by idiots and completely lack in interpersonal skills or the ability to see other people's arguments as valid? Honestly, with some people it's like working with an emotionally stunted teenager. I literally spoke to someone yesterday who thinks it's impossible to come to a compromise or agreement about anything unless there is a third party to arbitrate and mindlessly insists on his own way in literally every disagreement, even after admitting his logic is faulty. It's like watching a spotty 17 year old argue about politics online I swear it.5
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You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.
No. Fucking. Way.1 -
Do you ever get anxious and do some work to calm down but then you forget about time and stay up until 6am finishing two features which were due in a month?4
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I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)
And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.
Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.
I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./
Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.
I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.
Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.
People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.4 -
"Black supremacy is as dangerous as white supremacy, and God is not interested merely in the freedom of black men and brown men and yellow men, God is interested in the freedom of the whole human race and the creation of a society where all men will live together as brothers, and all men will respect the dignity and the worth of all human personality."
- MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.36 -
!rant
It's funny to consider that my previous rant (https://devrant.com/rants/4510906/...) before I stopped checking this platform as regularly was about what the perfect job would look like to me
…
Because I just landed it today, people!
Signed with a very chill, medium sized, local dev company that appreciates me as much as I do appreciate them. Starting next month I won't be just a random intern (although they never treated me as such anyway) anymore but a professional developer, with even a slightly more important pay than what you (at least I)'d expect for a junior
Adios annoying courses and mediocre marks, now the fun begins!14 -
www.dartlang.org
Dart helps you craft beautiful, high-quality experiences across all screens
... Not my screen though
I forgive them 😊
1 -
Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..
Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?
*silence for hours*
Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!
Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!
*another hour goes by*
Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.
what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/3 -
"BUSCAR TODO"
This Spanish translation for "SEARCH ALL" just tricked me into thinking that a translation is missing 😅2 -
House search has never been as painful as 2021. Not only the websites are shit at stopping agencies from outright lying on their websites, but also they can't even give you a quicker browsing experience. All the click click clicks just to view one fucking option. Duplicate advertises, photos from "a similar apartment", no 3D showing, no blueprints, etc. , and all in all, awful experience all around that nobody cares to fix. 😒8
-
all the fun people at my workplace have either been fired or they have left. my workplace is bone dry now3
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Solution for all the problems... Even global warming
Have you tried turning it off and on again...!?? 😌
2 -
!dev
This thing is eating away at me so just shut up and listen.
I have started applying for this uni for PhD (don't judge me) and for that, I will need recommendation letters, right? So I emailed two of the people who have already agreed to write me recommendation letters, to confirm the details that I'll give the said uni to contact them. Emails were sent out on Thursday. It's now soon to be Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing back. And this is abso-fucking-lutely killing me!!!! (There's still another to be emailed but he's a bit high and mighty and I'll email him after I get feedbacks from these two about my motivation letter and CV.)
Like, when you know my whole future depends on a single email of yours, saying that I'm a good PhD candidate (and oh boy, that is a joke; considering that I'm applying for literally one of the best unis in this particular subject in the whole world... I'm well over my head, aren't I?) why would you keep me standing on one leg just to confirm your contact details? I mean I know I'm overreacting a bit considering the deadline is yonks away, but still, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.8 -
I can't believe fucking Google, aka me cha for SWEs decided that the best they can do is shove all that ram into our computers for Chromium. All of the major apps decided Electron was a good idea and now all of our computers are bloated with fatass memory hogs taking 600MB RAM.
Fuck you Goog.25 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
LinkedIn recruiter:
- messages me about a fantastic job opportunity
- waits exactly 3 days
- messages me asking about the cool company I work at and how I find the engineering department here
- again 3 days
- messages me saying that he has heard some amazing recent news (there were none) about the fast growing company I work at and asks how I feel about the changes caused by our headcount growth
- 3 more days go by
- today, I get a notification that this recruiter has given me random LinkedIn endorsements for some skills that I had put on my profile back in college and since then forgot about even the existence of the endorsements feature
My favorite part is that the job they had originally sent expects a few languages and other tech skills most of which I actually have listed on my profile, but naturally, he only endorsed me for skills not required for said job spec.
What kind of weird sorcery is this?2 -
Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.1
-
Client: We are completely unable to plan a construction project successfully. We want you to use AI to do all of our project planning for us. Our requirements are that instead of needing to spend any money or time planning we just want to press a button and have a computer instantly put together all of our project plans for us. The program also needs to identify optimizations on it’s own and change all related plans enterprise-wide. All copies of the plans should be able to be kept up to date at all times so we’re never looking at an old plan again. We also want the ability to print.
Dev: …11 -
I just want to delete a jira…that’s all just delete it..listen you jira fucks ..just let me delete the fucking thing!!!1
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We have a bunch of legacy applications that runs on Windows only. I'm pretty much the only dev here who doesn't use a Windows machine.
In order to run those applications, I need use remote desktop to a Windows VM.
I use a Mac. And I use a lot of keyboard shortcuts. Case in point, CMD + L to go to the address bar in the browser.
This happens every time when I need to access those applications.
me: *remote desktop to the VM
me: "oh I need to get to the index/landing page"
me: *CMD + L
VM: "I'm locked now"8 -
What are some strategies to grow when your team size is increasing? My team will be doubling in 6 months. All devs.8
-
My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.
I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.
Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).
I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.
The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.
I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.4 -
Cool. I've installed a time paradox! All that's left is to figure out how to leverage it to my benefit...
3 -
Oh man, it's so funny when people try to install npm via cmd and they can't understand, what fuck all errors they are getting.2
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If I ever run my own engineering team I shall ban all meetings after 12 PM. Or permit meetings only on 2 days of the week.6
-
The most shittiest feeling in competitive programming is when your code passes all the test cases except the last three. 🤓😌2
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Who the fuck at google thought it was a good idea to not let you log out from a single account in gmail when multiple are logged in in the browser. You have to log out of all of them all or not at all. And it is a new change, i can remember being able to do that previously. Just why?2
-
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!1
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Yesterday at my career progression chat my manager told me that to showcase more seniority I would need to "stop moving the needle by myself and become a multiplier".
So in order to progress I need to change from being a sewing machine to a mathematical operator??!!?!?
Thanks, that's very fucking helpful.18 -
When at School there was a hack that went around all the local schools that caused computers to shutdown as soon as it gets to the login screen.1
-
Narrow my skillset down to a few masteries.
Gotta stop being jack of all techs 🤣
Be less harsh and judgemental towards myself. -
I'm a hobby programmer and i don't hav any programming ideas! How do you all get programming ideas?7
-
Why do we never talk about angular? It was way ahead all the time. Like you got all these nice things with Vue 3 and React 42, but bro angular got it all for years..
It feels so nice learning it.7 -
I accidentally forgot to stop my EC2 instance.....
No joke, I have had to use all of my money that I made through freelancing(20 bucks)10 -
New job. Almost all sites are blocked due to "security"... even spotify. I can' listen to the music. Fortunately i have access to dev rant xd4
-
happy new year everyone! not that anything ever changes, but hope is free 😅
i wish all of you a year with very little reason to rant ✨1 -
Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
-
Companies: We're starting to rotate people back through the office
Devs all drinking their desks: Please no2 -
Documentation for all our projects within a few hours is really impossible, thank you project manager.3
-
I changed all my password to "incorrect"
So whenever i forget it will tell me "your password is incorrect"3 -
Ffs, spent all day fixing jests tests and couldn’t resolve an error. Hours of googling turns out it, I forgot to put event.preventDefault() on a blank href.
Mondays…. -
https://devrant.com/rants/5565999/...
This reminds me of the time the upper management that took over a government contract didn't know how to use Lotus Notes email correctly. We had an entire day of people in the upper group hitting "Reply to All" for company wide emails. Then people who got the email again, also in upper management, would angrily "Reply to All" for them to stop sending these emails to everyone again. Like I said, this went on for a day. These were the so called geniuses who got paid the most in the company. This is how they introduced themselves to the company.3 -
I kind of miss abbie boi doxxing randos, avoiding all responsibility, arguing against all reason and just generally making no sense… that was fun.
Now we only have Kaine’s avatar making absolutely no sense at all. So boring…7 -
Tesla disables their “aUtOpiLOt” (a.k.a. glorified cruise control) one second before the crash to claim it was off all along.
6 -
So silly. I just wanted to neural network all day today, and it just happened.
https://huggingface.co/spaces/...
10 -
Mad how Zuck can instantly stop everyone talking about all the creepy, weird shit by simply renaming the internet. Prince Andrew missed a trick there.2
-
How to destroy all table data:
* Get a database;
* Add the first table;
* Add the second table;
* Create a foreign key in second table that delete a record where there is a delete in the first table;
* Update all data in the first table with a REPLACE command.
Miracle: all data is lost5 -
Lead dev runs the program I gave him to set up a bunch of processes that run for one database.
It has a GUI that seems native to his windows environment......but it sort of is not.
The program runs, asks for the .csv file that is to be parsed into the database.
Lead dev: Ok, what is this though?
Me (his boss) "Don't worry about it"
Him: "Holy shit what the fuck is this??? TELL ME!!!"
Me: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
Him: "WTF DID YOU MAKE THIS IN???!
ME: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CMS Admin (another one of my employees) "Would you TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!?"
New Guy (mainly a frontend dev): ........
Meanwhile, in production, no one knows if your gui app is built in Lazarus and Free Pascal, as long as it works.
I really need to stop doing this to the lead dev, dude already keeps trying to choke me for writing things in perl.
On another note, Object Pascal is pretty cool. Might write a book on it for those that want to do CLI based applications on it, I have no clue why every book on the subject costs in euros, but there should be more shit written for beginners, language is awesome and one can get lots of mileage from Lazarus and FPC11 -
After (allegedly) coronavirus infection I'm still constantly tired and unmotivated to even eat a week after all symptoms disappeared.
Yay me 😒17 -
!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)1 -
Hope everyone had a chill and relaxed day. I know I did. Sun was nice. People at work were so easy going. Didn't have a segfault all day.
Was to be expected. It was 4/20 all day.11 -
The frontend community is always coming up with new solutions to old problems and make it sound all interesting 🧐4
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5 minutes before the meeting, I get refreshed and start setting everything up. All in a sonic speed rush. Always feels like a movie! :D1
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Fuck Avahi, fuck Aruba AirGroup, fuck Bonjour and fuck "zeroconf" networking. I spent all day configuring it.12
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I actually went to college and got a bachelors degree in both computer science and buisness.
Take that all you guys that are better than me!8 -
Why am I like that....
All is good, there is ONE FUCKING request which is slow.
Why, why I'm searching it ? For fun I guess !
4 -
Would you still do your current job even if you had all the money in the world to not work again?15
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Put those Patriots down your throats. Spineless swines. Putin's accomplices. Let you all rot as much as you don't strive to stop all of this immediately.67
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OPEN TO THE IDEA OF US ALL VID CHATTING JUST ONCE AND SEEING WHAT THE OTHERS ARE UP TO AND HOW AND WHO THEY ARE BEFORE WE'RE ALL DEAD OF OLD AGE !16
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https://youtu.be/7gvmzWPUHmY
All these things work so well
Why is anyone doing poorly anywhere ?
Could you imagine if we had to do this all by hand ??8 -
Day of days! Insomnia supports environment variables! And has for a long time! I just missed it is all!
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As a JS developer I wish that when I import a package, a list of all the Jquery methods comes shipped with it 🥺12
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This week has been all read-only.
Me: I'm bored and I need some actual work.
Boss: Be careful what you are asking for1 -
♫ It's high time we reviewed our design, ♫
♫ The code behind our system is just too byzantine, ♫
♫ We'll rewrite all the legacy and take it off line, ♫
1 -
We should all skip work tomorrow - I just wanna have sex and eat pizza tomorrow. I hate new projects plthhhe5
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Is it safe to assume that Dell's power button PCB-s all communicate the same way? They all have a single button and four wires.2
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never ranted about movies
but
Everything Everywhere All at Once
this movie is for THIS generation.1 -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
Does anyone else it fucking ironic that Jira is the go to tool for "agile" development? The amount of bloat, buttons, etc all make non-agile the task of filling out all the stupid forms and assigning all these shitty irrelevant details makes it a turn off.1
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I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
What web frontend library or framework do you recommend for the majority of web development projects and why?
Let's say you are a freelancer and you get all sorts of web dev jobs all the time from all sorts of customers.
Is there a go-to library for you, or is it "it depends" as all things CS are?3 -
'ite all in your head it's all in your head'
I SAID I need to breathe !
Bahahahh
My own words came back to haunt me where I hid you found me lol2 -
Android OS is officially done in 2022 and belongs on a graveyard with all the other projects that started out good but got ruined later by corporate bullheads1
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I made this little webapp to make custom subscription feeds for YouTube
https://subber-app.herokuapp.com
I use it for all the Simon Whistler channels2 -
Things like Mailtrack are against privacy, aren’t they? Especially because it’s not in the control of receivers at all. Or am I missing something?!4
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Merry xmas to all
Witnessed the first ever world cup won by my country via cinema.
It can't be any better -
VS2022 is an abomination......
I was forced to put the whole team on 2019 ansd remove all .net 6....
VS2022 is NOT USABLE AT ALL !
It's like vs2010 which we all skipped.
I'll wait for VS 2024 at this point...
can't work. "Changed a file" ? Oh wait i'll just recompile whole solution for 3 minmutes at EACH FUCKING FILE CHANGE.
VS2019 9Same project) : 0.2 seconds.8 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
For all you illiterates who don't know how to google the english langage:
https://dailywritingtips.com/the-tw...
This just means it is jif and jimp.8 -
i hate children, all of them, every single one. all of those disgusting freeloaders!!! they don't pay money at all, yet they get to enjoy lavish lifestyles!! we need to stop this and dump them all in the trash! subscribe to my course to learn the best ways to kill children: ibeatkids.com3
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I got one YT recommendation from "Charisma on Command" and now I'm watching all videos. I have all these problems and more.6
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Now my desktop wifi dongle is crapping out ...
Why is all this happening RIGHT AFTER black Friday, cyber monday....3 -
🎵 in heaven there is no beer that's why we drink it here RIGHT HERE and when we're all gone from here all out friends will be drinking our beer 🎵
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Yo guys any advice or tips for product dev/product management (internship) and all would be awesome1
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MySQL Innodb easily get crashed, bullshit, I just restarted my server now all databases get corrupted. F*ck you OVH3
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I became a corporate tax auditor instead of struggling to compete with whores in all the hollowed out chomo fronts
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Found next to a TypeScript definition set of 16 overloads, written for all combinations of 4 bivariants.
1 -
I think all this gender shit is just garbage. The male/female group has it wrong and the wtf gender group has it wrong. There is one gender, period! We are all male.
Reason: We are all made of Adams, not Eves.3 -
TightVNC on Windows OS's, copy & paste don't always work, solution ?
Today, it isn't sometimes, its all day !4 -
Do you remember when Death Grips were popular, tons of memes and shit, but some time has passed and we all just… moved on?1
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Price of gold? Valuable coins? All that stuff? I was too afraid to ask because you were very annoyed then.8
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Not too sure why I am required to be in the office when we all know the next code I will be writing is next year.2
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If you all weren't pretending to still be here which I wonder if you all are, what would you all do if I suddenly didn't care about anything at all ? Kind of curious because it is hard.
Since you know there are people even breeding small children to slake the lusts of garbage motherfuckers who have STDs ruining one generation after another and that's just another nail on my cross holding me up while your fake asses pretend to give a damn about the patriarchy and preferred pronouns and all that other bullshit
Or continue this COVID 19 masquerade
Wtf ?
Do you not all feel even a little stupid yet ? Even just a little like monsters ? Even just a little bit ashamed ? Or when you're being beaten to death in your dotages by teenagers for being pedophiles in wheelchairs is what it will take ?10 -
Define programmers
The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks. -
To all the M1 Macbook owners out there that use it for software development - do you regret your pick? If so, why (or what doesn't work)?4
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to be happy about weekend or to cry at all the work that needs to be done before heading to weekend1
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What is it with web devs that can't write effective PHP applications that don't need a 1 GB of Memory Limit?
Where are the days that 32MBs of memory was fine per request? Ugh...2 -
How do you get the motivation to study especially when your field and company policy dictate that you must study and get certified all the damn time?5
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Made fun of JavaScript and told millions why Python is better than all other languages on this fucking planet. But still...
8 -
Remembering about how all the poisonous snakes in an area are limited to where the people are living lol
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HELP!!!, My ubuntu system exhaust all of it's ram, my system lags too much, I was currently running firefox, vim, postman, react server and node server.
26
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