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!dev

Again, someone I know got married after having a relationship for 2 3 years.

I am 26, soon to be 27. I never ever had a good relationship. All I have his crap and crap stories. In my country girls get married around 28 maximum.
Arrange marriages are way to go here. But do not want to have that fuss. In lockdown no chance of meeting someone.
Not achieving anything in my job, no realistic progres in my personal life. I think I am heading towards a big mess.

Comments
  • 1
    I'm a guy and I feel you in this.
  • 2
    And here I thought arrange marriages were only an Indian thing.

    Don't worry OP, we all are in this mess together.
  • 2
    @Floydimus Yes, I'm an Indian. πŸ˜…
  • 1
    @true-dev001 wait what? WHATTTTTT??!!

    🀦🏻‍♂️ so beta shaadi kab kar rahi ho? πŸ˜…
  • 1
    @Floydimus πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ kabhi nahi
  • 1
    @rutee07 want to solo travel Europe, not a good timing.
  • 2
    @true-dev001 hahaha welcome to the clan

    And hi5

    Mera sapna bhi yahi hai.. solo backpack Europe.

    6/8 mahino me nikal jaunga yaha se.
  • 1
    @Floydimus great!! Are you a north Indian?
  • 2
    As female dev, being unable (not: unwilling) to find a guy is a pretty big WTF.
  • 2
    @Fast-Nop *sigh* I'm introverted, and guys I get attention from are generally are bot mature and quite nerdy.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 west Indian but will be moving to north very very soon (for work)
  • 2
    Marriage itself is often overrated, don't even want to think about arranged one.

    Can you imagine having to endure the same person which you don't even like for the rest of your life just to get some kind of approval from environment you live in?

    Don't spend your time looking for someone to be happy with, rather learn to be happy with yourself and you'll be surprised how soon this problem will become superficial and unimportant.
  • 1
    @myss Yeah I can keep myself happy but I find myself often imagining how the life will be of I am with the right person.
    As an independent person, I want to have everything by my own. Although things are not very good in my life but I want to create things in my life. Want to have a good job, so learning through the difficulties. Trying yo keep my mind right, not stressing a lot. Want to create a good personal life for myself, I need a good partner because my parents had a bad relationship and I think that I can create a good one myself. Don't know how to find the right one but keeping myself positive.
    I don't want to be alone my whole life, I want to have these things.
  • 5
    @true-dev001 You should see if @Floydimus is your type. From the tone of his comments he seems curious and sympathetic. You increase your odds by meeting more people and maybe he would be a good person to meet.

    I married a woman that isn’t technical and it is impossible for her to understand work stresses. To her it is like I get stressed out about imaginary things. It is very frustrating and i know many other guys that have the same relationship issue. Maybe nerdy is more of an advantage than you realize.
  • 0
    @irene when did you get married? πŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸ»
  • 0
    @irene I am sure Floyd is 24. ;)

    And I agree that it's hard to have someone nit understanding your day to day work stress. I hope everything else is good in your relationship.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 this is what I hate about devs. They assume 🀦🏻
    I am not 24. Lol

    Also irene is not married. He's trolling you.
  • 3
    @true-dev001 But @Floydimus is not 24, he’s 23.
  • 4
    @-red I am just born ffs
  • 1
    @Floydimus For entertainment I am going to guess your age, day was too dramatic and stressful anyway.

    You are 32.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 nah! Haven't touched 30s yet but surely elder to you.

    Now that's a range anyone can guess..

    Day was gloomy and melancholic to be honest.
  • 1
    @Floydimus So you are 28?
    You should hear about my day if you are interested in twists and climax filled story.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 almost close but let's consider 28.

    Sure.. do post your daily updates..
  • 3
    @true-dev001 Have you already explored India though ? The western ghats and the mountains up north.. not to mention the north east.. or wherever you like. There are just too many beautiful places in India. Getting out and exploring helps you escape the rut.
    Even if it is just for a weekend.
    That’s what I do anyway. I like hiking. And you actually do meet people when you go visit places. So you never know.
  • 3
    @Floydimus haha, if I posted daily updates this whole community will be entertained for months.
  • 1
    @-red India is too unsafe for going solo or meeting new people like that. This os my perception. I have seen people socialising like that. But I'll be scared to try this out.

    Amazing places you mentioned though :)
  • 1
    @-red How do you know these places?
  • 3
    @-red also a place called Marine Drive :P

    @true-dev001 *grabs popcorn 🍿* I am ready babes..
  • 3
    @true-dev001 finally some, potentially, fresh and interesting content.
  • 1
    @Floydimus making the first moves ;)

    That's the @Floydimus I wanna see!
  • 2
    @Floydimus Exactly the line people say to me before I mark them as 'not mature'. I am done with everything for today anyway.
  • 1
    @-ANGRY-STUDENT- wait for it kid.. with time you'll start posting such refreshing content.

    Lmao what you rooting for πŸ˜†
  • 3
    @true-dev001 lol for real?

    What would be your definition of mature?

    I am sure @scout will agree with you on me being immature. Lol
  • 3
    @true-dev001
    I love trekking and exploring.
    I meant to go with friends of course. Even if just one other.
    If you want actual places, Coorg is quite nice. There’s Matheran. If you like trekking, you could do Kalsubai or Anamudi. Munnar has lots of hills. Palakkad in Kerala is beautiful. And so many more places I can’t list. In the north there’s Spiti Valley and Manali of course and Khir, etc I’m just gonna stop. All of Himachal Pradesh is just so beautiful.

    And finally as @Floydimus mentioned, there’s the Marine Drive haha. Mumbai is something else. I remember the number of nights I spent wandering around there with friends because we missed the last train back haha.
  • 1
    @Floydimus I hope so πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    You know what I am rooting for. You got this, boss!
  • 1
    @Floydimus haha, nothing personal but reminds me of the other things.
  • 2
    @-red still in London? Any plans to visit?
    That evening was exceptionally chilly but yeah we had fun.

    @-ANGRY-STUDENT- lol I am way to scared at this point to make any moves.
    How's your new job going? Haven't seen any rants so assuming it's good.
  • 1
    @-red ah you listed some of the places I have been to. I have seen Coorg and went to Kerala 2 times. Mysuru too. Ooty is also beautiful :)

    I will try to find time to visit the places you mentioned specially in the south. I work there, so once lockdown goes down I had plans to visit with my friends.

    Thanks :)
  • 1
    @Floydimus you are scared to make moves? oh but anyway can you mention, I want to hear some of it.
  • 1
    @Floydimus I made two rants and it's been stressful to say the leastπŸ˜‚
  • 2
    @true-dev001 mention what?

    @-ANGRY-STUDENT- ah! Missed those.

    Hit me up if you need help anywhere.

    Though I am confident of you that you'll grow really well. Just hang in there.. with time you'll settle.
  • 2
    @Floydimus Ah yes. Chilly, it certainly was. I remember how we jumped for a while lol.
    Travel is a pain in these times I’m afraid. I’m planning to visit sometime next year though.
  • 1
    @-red of fuck yes! You and @Teknas were jumping πŸ˜…
  • 2
    I think the devRant mention notification feature is broken. Or was it removed ?
  • 1
  • 1
    @Floydimus really appreciate it
  • 1
    I have no idea where I am supposed to look for gf, or if I should at all.

    I consider first three years being fully dedicated to career and learning. Quite afraid that gf can be a big distraction from it.

    Plus I guess I am just clueless in this field. And I am not the most social person in general.

    Considering gfs being a study project to do. But every study takes time.

    Plus I just don't wish having attachments, in order being easily relocatable.

    Plus I am afraid of getting addicted to that. I remember my teenhood crush, I was distracted for years.
  • 1
    @darkwind I agree with 3 years dedicating to career only but after that career seem to be secondary, at least happening to me. People start to want a family and for that partnership is important.
  • 2
    As long as you do not commit to marriage every option is open to you, including the improvement of your work. Young men often fall into the trap thinking work or women can make them happy.

    Take it from an old dog it's all meaningless unless you think it isn't. And there is plenty of other stuff in the world that you can decide is important. Deciding that for YOURSELF is what MIGHT lead to happiness if you can come to terms with the absurdity of the world.

    That went philosophical quick but the gist is: stay single for life, get a hobby, accept your limits and never stop improving yourself. Have you picked up cooking yet? It's a cheap way to pass the time and have a result that improves your life instantly by a small amount.

    Seriously, pick up cooking. Treat yourself and friends to meals fit for royalty. It combines physical sensation with social pleasures, and not a second of it will feel like wasted time.
  • 0
    @Inxentas I relied on it. But if I am really wish to marry someone in future (not arranged) then I should look properly out there. I cannot ignore.
  • 1
    Whatever you do you’ll wonder what life would be like if you had chosen a different path.
  • 2
    @true-dev001 marriage is overrated...

    Crap stories are common.

    Relationships are hard.

    Living alone isn't thaaaat bad. :)

    Just do what you like and enjoy your life, the rest will pan out when the time is right.

    And life's always a big mess - worries and troubles come and go, don't bother inviting them.

    TLDR: Do whatever the fuck you want :)
  • 0
    @IntrusionCM I have to mention, you are the REAL motivator. Thanks 😊
  • 2
    Always look up the actual statistics behind “most” claims. Even if 5% are married after 28, 5% of Indian women is millions of people. So think millions of people get married after 28.
  • 2
    @jeeper noone likes statistics unless they fit in their web of lies.

    @true-dev001 no problem. Have a πŸͺ.

    πŸͺ Gooooood. XD
  • 0
    Arranged marriage? third-world problems i see.
  • 1
    @thirdworld user name checks out
  • 1
    @Hardy Yeah I am waiting for my Suri, who will. pretend to be someone else, trying to look younger and will ask me to marry me when I am already married.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 smells like a love triangle.

    *tell me your dirty fictions without da romance*
  • 1
    @Floydimus No joke I have been married since 2006.
  • 1
    @true-dev001 try okcupid.com

    No troll, i've found the love if my life through this dating site. Be thorough about your bio. Be picky, take the time to talk and assessment. I hope love smiles at you just the way it did to me and my girlfriend.
  • 0
    @irene sure I am buying it.
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime are you from India?
  • 1
    @true-dev001 No, Living in Belgium and already happily living together with the love of my life. I've came to understand that truthfully seeking and finding a real love relationship is a real near impossible challenge In India. FYI you don't have to set a place of origin , or you can also change this towards an entire different location so you can get different matches instead of your more local ones. I just hope you find the one you've been looking for all your life. Don't rush it, that person is out there.
  • 0
    @true-dev001 and FWIW, i'd happily marry every single woman who is really seeking out a life to love and to be loved. However my beloved one would veto this, despite my best intentions. She does have a thing for women though so who knows, perhaps with very persuasive skills?
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