AboutI often rant about the codebase in projects i so very often inherit from students or amateurs.
Joined devRant on 12/29/2017
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FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !
You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?
Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"
What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.
What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.4
What retarded way of writing a json feed is this? what the fuck!
Each product in the feed is translatable, but instead of creating a new object in the feed with the translated content, there's an additional field pointing to a language code (this applies to all translateable fields).
Then each translatable field is appended the number which matches the number appended to the language field containing the desired language code.
In addition to that, the keys doesn't have any sensible meaning, but appearently they abide by som obscure "GS1 / GDSN" standard.
So for each "distinct" field I have to look up the definition of that key
If just the language code and the actual value keys was grouped together.. but no, the feed is ordered by the number after the 'D'.
Yeah for being stuck with something that looks like infinite scrolling, because one product object is fucking gigantic.
FUCKING INSANE MANIAC PIECE OF TRASH.
Fuck you drupal and your gibberish arrays. what the fuck. and the size of those, it's easier to swallow a cactus than to understand.
Fuck trying to assign a default value to a field, it is about as easy as solving the middle east conflicts. FUCK!
When the frontend dev argues that Pestashop is a "good product" because "it just works" and "you can click everything up, no coding needed"
Any good tips on how to hide or disolve a body?9
It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.
Thats some microsoft quality!8
Wiriting documentation is the single most boring thing I can imagine.
Fuck, it'd be more entertaining watching paint dry, or seeing the grass grow.7
If you driving a FUCKing Peugeot 107, don't FUCKing start to tailgate me, m'kay?!
Especially not on the highway imbecile fuckwit!
Because, I know for a fact that the rusty boneshaking rattletrap, that you call a car won't be able to overtake anyway!!
FUCKing dork, safety distance heard of it?
I bet my left nut, that you draw your drivers license in legoland.1
So normally I go with a super-conservative error handler that logs errors, and exit the process on even the tinyest/smallest error.
Regardless or project/cms/framework I always to this to prevent myself from installing spaghetti plugins or writing unstable code.
Also because I don't want any code to just soldier on if a variable wasn't defined properly, or likewise.
But today I had to write this little fucker into my error handler, to support the error surpressing operator '@'
Appearently prestashop was developed by a group of senseless moronic fuckwits,
and hteir piece of horseshit software doesn't even work if it isn't allowed to surpress errors.
What was the fucking imbeciles thinking when requiring such lunatic behaviour...
This has been said before, but i'm gonna be honest with you here, straight from the bottom of my heart
Fuck the new chrome design is fucking repulsive, when did material == rounded corners.
This design reminds me more of what facebook is trying to do with their grotesque messenger.5
Thank you for breaking our site with breaking changes in a minor version number.
You know what's worse than fixing websites in IE?
Fixing websites in safari for winblows.
Okay it's FUCKing rant time... FUCK you prestashop!
FUCK your utterly bizarre "coding standard"
Also a big FUCK your config files, since when did config files start to include application logic, multiple includes/requires and modification of super-globals. When did I miss that memo?
This file is full of so much FUCKing horseshit, my FUCKing testicles hurt.
FUCK your "module overrides", yes let's duplicate 20-30MB senseless horror code into another folder, just so we can modify one line, without having future updates breaking our stuff.
And your attempt to migrate to a symphony stucture is FUCKing pathetic, do it properly, or don't do it at all.. FUCKtards..
I know wordpress can be bad, but this...
Prestashop takes FUCKing lousy, headache/cancer- giving, piece of crapware to the next FUCKing level.
I wouldn't even wish this FUCKing upon my worst enemy.2
What the actual fuck...
What kind of API does not do data integrity validation, and allows me to subscribe a user to a newsletter list with a non-existant list id ?
That's some fucking bullshit. fucktards at www.make.as3
If I uncheck your, by default checked, checkbox to recieve your marketing bullshit emails on your website.
Don't fucking send me an additional email asking me to subscribe.
Fuck you windows and your bizarre line endings.
^M (CR) all over the place now, fuck this, going to make an automated tool now that converts all line endings to LF5
To the cock-sucking dev who decided it was a good idea to commit 5k+ lines of code written in his "own standard" accross multiple files, in a large project where all devs abide strictly to a certain standard set by the project description.
Fucking incompetent douchenoggin, you're about as useful as Anne Franks drum set!
I'm not saying you're the dumbest person on earth, but you sure better hope, he doesn't die.
Deadshit, dick sucking, penis grabbing sorry excuse of a human being.
Yes WP sites can be bad.
But as bad as it can be, just as easy it can serve as a good kickstarter for the next website.
If just the developer behind said website has some kind of dignity about the code they produce and respect for their fucking job!
1. Don't use bloated plugins.
2. Always vheck out alternatives.
3. Don't ever use paid plugins/themes... just don't.
I for one, whenever installing a plugin, if said plugin generates any kind of unexpected output such as a notice it's an immidiate uninstall, and then rolling my own.
I also use a bare minimum boilerplate theme which does not bundle any frameworks, additional libaries or other kinds of that bloatware for all my wp sites, this ensures that every site is somewhay unique.
I've seen so many "devs" being lazy as fuck, using the wrong themes/plugins to "code" the site.
No! using page builders such as visual composer or bloatware slideshows does not count as good tools.
If you buy a theme from themeforest thinking it will save you hours of custom development, then fuck you... go drown in acid.. because guess fucking what?
It will save you absolutely jack shit in the long run..
Anything stating otherwhise is marketing bullcrap4
Fuck you WooCommerce and fuck you shopify, also a big fuck you to every developer who thinks it's a good idea to notify other customers about what another customer just bought in real time.
Guess fucking what. I don't fucking care what uncle deadinthehead just bought. Get fucking raped in a columbian prison and die to aids infested rain..2
I've come to realise that wrapping var_dump(); in fucking_var_dump(); greatly helps upon those nasty and frustrating bugs.
So whenever I get mad at a bug, I just write fucking_var_dump($this);