!dev && !rant

My thoughts go out to all the french people among us, Notre Dame was such a beautiful cathedral.

Been there once myself a few years back, glad I managed to see it before it burnt down.

Anyone actually granting websites access to desktop notifications upon their request?

Wonder how many actually does, since every website seems to continue and never stops requesting

I currently have my dream job as a web developer, with a little above average salary, good colleagues and an understanding boss.

Today I had a recruiter contact me with a job opportunity (Senior developer) that would easily net me 1.5 times more salary, and a lot of other advantages.

It almost hurts to say no.

To whatever imbicile cock sucking numbskull at apple, who decided it was a good idea to put an 'Orientation' header in image EXIF data, and then rotating images CAN GO JUMP IN THE NEAREST ACTIVE VOLCANO!

If only there was some some kind of program that could automatically indent your code....

Estimates...? What estimates?

... You mean deadlines?

Told my GF she's my number 1.

... She wasn't happy finding out devs count from 0

Fuck you Drupal 8
How complicated can it be to dynamically change the title of a page?

No I don't want to write another custom module, which requires two fucking .yml files?? and initiate another controller for something that simple...

Fuck it! JavaScript it is....

Regular expressions is like a condom, it's safe, combat tested and works most of the time.
But if you use it too much it gets dirty quickly.

During my education there was this "Exception('Smoking hot girl')", and also very kind/sweet I used to help a lot, and tutor best practices on whatever project she would throw herself into.

(It should be noted that half of our teachers where incompetent, or flat out wrong, so we kinda had to use more than usual time helping other people)

But being a shy guy, and having the spine of a worm, I got stuck as a 'personal teacher' for a good period of time. Never had the guts to ask her out.

Not sure if it's selfish to focus your attention on one person because you liked the girl, that's a lot of time I could've used to help others. Or if I should be proud of what I did, I do believe she'd dropped out otherwise....

But nonetheless I did enjoy the time.

1. No release Friday

2. No release Friday

3. No release Friday

Dammit Carl!
Testing in production again?

What i'll minded cocksucker decided it was a good idea to let the web application cache MySQL login credentials..

$ grep -ri "crap" | wc -l
> 69

Even the codebase itself admits it's dirty... 🤔

document.form.email.value.indexOf('@') != '-1'

Yikes, maniac.

Just thought I would share this image of my last experience, when asked to check the website in Firefox or IE.

Client sending files containing / in their filenames..

If he ever send this shit again I swear I'll be chopping off his thumb and sticking it up hos arse, it'll sure fit whatever bizarre fantasy he have for doing such atrocious things.

When I do the quick'n'dirty against that nasty bug.

I'll never become good friends with svn.

git > svn

Any day, any time.

So my chrome on android has appearently started looking like something my colleagues toddler could have drawn, despite that I have all the "modern" settings disabled in chrome://flags

Anyone knows any other workarounds now that this appears to have stopped working?

ALSO FUCK YOU GOOGLE FOR FORCING THIS SHITTY AND UNINTUITIVE DESIGN DOWN OUR THROATS, STOP VALUATING PRETTY PIXELS OVER PRODUCTIVITY

Client: Excuse me, I know it's your day off, but I need you to fix my website it's urgent!!!

Me thinking: Excuse me while i chop your head off, shit down your neck and feed your remains to the pigs!

FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !

You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?

Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"

What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.

What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

What retarded way of writing a json feed is this? what the fuck!

Each product in the feed is translatable, but instead of creating a new object in the feed with the translated content, there's an additional field pointing to a language code (this applies to all translateable fields).
Then each translatable field is appended the number which matches the number appended to the language field containing the desired language code.

In addition to that, the keys doesn't have any sensible meaning, but appearently they abide by som obscure "GS1 / GDSN" standard.

So for each "distinct" field I have to look up the definition of that key

If just the language code and the actual value keys was grouped together.. but no, the feed is ordered by the number after the 'D'.

Yeah for being stuck with something that looks like infinite scrolling, because one product object is fucking gigantic.

FUCKING INSANE MANIAC PIECE OF TRASH.
@#%!#€&

Fuck you drupal and your gibberish arrays. what the fuck. and the size of those, it's easier to swallow a cactus than to understand.

Fuck trying to assign a default value to a field, it is about as easy as solving the middle east conflicts. FUCK!

When the frontend dev argues that Pestashop is a "good product" because "it just works" and "you can click everything up, no coding needed"

Any good tips on how to hide or disolve a body?

It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.

Thats some microsoft quality!

Nothing says welcome back from holiday like a clients website being hacked 🙃

Wow! That's microsoft quality!

Your mom's so fat the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

Wiriting documentation is the single most boring thing I can imagine.

Fuck, it'd be more entertaining watching paint dry, or seeing the grass grow.