33

happy birthday to me
dad is dead
mom is dead
have been for years
who knows about my siblings and everyone is crazy and i'm not completely sure how old i am except that i have obviously visibly aged and a photo of me snuck into my older photos shows me as I actually looked at 40 ish.
yay.
some days i wish i was dead.

Comments
  • 12
    Have a nice one man.
  • 2
    Wanna feel better? Listen to Lil B’s lyrics.
  • 1
    Love u
  • 2
    Happy Birthday to you🤝🎂🎊
  • 21
    You're still alive. Celebrate it. Life is something to be experienced. Including pain, boredom, regrets, desperation.

    The harsh shit makes you unique. Draw power from that uniqueness, use it to make tomorrow a better day to be alive.

    I lost my mom at 7 and my dad at 12, started living on my own at 15.

    I've used truckloads of drugs, lived in awful places, have been homeless, befriended addicts, criminals and whores. I have had careers parents would be proud of, and careers which could have gotten me prison time.

    I now own a house, and I'm raising an amazing kid.

    Not everything is perfect yet. Far from it.

    Life keeps twisting in weird ways.

    One lifetime offers more than enough space to live several lives. It's never too late to seek out new opportunities. Life is a bitch, but it's a damn interesting bitch.

    I'm still not fucking done living -- and neither should you be.
  • 3
    @bittersweet that was beautiful!
  • 6
    Just ignore birthdays. They don't matter. Age doesn't matter. Have fun while you still can and try to not break too much things til the end...
  • 5
    @bittersweet your story serves as an inspiration to me, especially in a time when I have given up on life.

    @AvatarOfKaine be blessed.
  • 2
    @bittersweet I've been down twisty paths myself through my life (not as colourful as yours though) and there's one thing I've learned and confirmed many times to be true. All these disasters, tragedies, all the bad things happening - they ONLY bring you down to depression and desperation when you're living too comfortably and too relaxed. You get used to and focused on all the good you have so much that you lose the grip of reality surrounding our tiny bubble of "goodness". And sometimes it gets you completely unaware and unprepared.

    And it takes a good kick to one's ass to get one to wake up and see that there's more to life - not just that comfy tiny bubble. The sooner the kick comes - the better for that poor lad.

    I've learned to enjoy my life and all the good and bad things happening around me.

    @AvatarOfKaine as long as you're breathing, you CAN change the flow of events to your liking. Whether you will - it's all up to you.
  • 0
    happy birthday mate o/
  • 2
    I feel you, don't want to add more depressing opinions, so I'll just wish you happy birthday
  • 1
    @netikras Yeah one of the best therapies for depression is hiking.

    Sleep on an uncomfortable thin mattress in a leaky tent, cook on a little campfire —and enjoy the birds serenading the sunrise.

    It gives confidence knowing that beauty can be found even when things are rough, and offers new perspectives about what is important in life.

    Luxuries, even the small ones, become uplifting bonuses again, instead of feeling like you have to constantly worry about losing them.
  • 1
    @bittersweet yupp, that would be a nice RESET button :) Though not as effective, bcz you KNOW in 2 days you'll be back to the comfort you're used to.
  • 4
    @netikras Doesn't have to be 2 days! At one point I felt pretty down, got fired from my job, sold most of my stuff and cancelled rent, spent my last money on hiking shoes and a lightweight backpack, and walked through the Pyrenees for 10 weeks.

    I came back with a lot of emotions and thoughts and ideas —but no depression.
  • 1
    @bittersweet now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!
  • 0
    @Hazarth ty random scary person I barely know :P where is my present ? I could use a bus ticket to somewhere that doesn't suck presently. it would of course be the case that the chosen destination was much altered along with everywhere else.
  • 1
    @melezorus34 ty. i slept deeply.
  • 0
    @phat-lasagna who the hell is that ?
  • 1
    @DeepHotel awwwwww. thanks :)
  • 0
    @bittersweet yes problem is when you're surrounded by dead people its hard to note if your pulse has the same meaning.
  • 1
    @Floydimus ty. i guess you all love me now :P i'm no longer the crazy black sheep that makes annoying posts :P
  • 0
  • 1
    @bittersweet well if small luxiuries and hiking are what boost a person's feeling happiness, I'm rich lmao

    i wish i was hiking from hotel to hotel at the moment or just sleeping at night driving somewhere and hiking lmao
  • 0
    @bittersweet the major difference between our situations is you probably got a good nights rest every night. i don't always..
  • 0
    @AvatarOfKaine look him up - u will be amused
  • 0
  • 1
    @AvatarOfKaine hey, I'm not scary, I'm just autistic :c
  • 0
    @Hazarth that's like people saying i'm not evil i'm schizophrenic :P
  • 0
    I can't stop thinking of your words, life is so sad...
  • 1
    @Manuch yeah and what the kicker is, it doesn't have to be, what these creatures do repetitively and what they that makes keeping them contained necessary, they could stop any time. everything they do is a choice initially.
  • 1
    @Manuch btw still alive ? or is this another bot ?
  • 1
    @Manuch course in there efforts to disguise their own existence so people can kill them some of them operate the same accounts thinking they're being slick heh
  • 0
    Unluckily I'm not a bot and I can't wipe out the part of me that developed the black wolf that follows me or reset myself.
    I feel you very much, I'm just 25, I've been living most of my life under a shade since I was a child.

    Somehow I managed to get a job and keep studying, but my carreer is the only part of my life that is not going completely sideways.

    I didn't want to bother you with this s##t since it seems you're not enjoying life much too, but life is unfair, you had to meet me.

    I'm sorry to say I can't help others that suffer but just bother them / worsen their situation. So sorry but as I said and you very well know life is unfair.
  • 0
    @bittersweet I want to put this on a birthday card 😂

    ETA: this-> your first comment in the thread
  • 1
    Everyone's like "happy birthday" to kaine.

    Meanwhile anyone who knows him knows this is actually just a shitpost.

    GG Kaine. You still got it.
  • 0
    @Wisecrack not a shit post
  • 1
    @Wisecrack was my birthday and everyone is dead
  • 0
    @AvatarOfKaine oh shit. My mistake.

    Be well Kaine. Better over the hill than under it.
  • 1
    @Wisecrack *wryly* thanks for that.
  • 0
    Happy birthday man... Take care...
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