49
netikras
44d

Recipe: "baked developer"

you will need:

- 1 day = 1 story point
- 10SP per sprint
- every team member must deliver all the SPs.

Now for every sprint slap on 20+ hours of mandatory meetings, mix with 2-5 days of ad-hoc tasks, which must be addressed, because they are blocking the release/other teams/prod, and make sure all the devs try not to spill no matter what, and you get a perfectly burned out team.

Brittle/crispy on the outside, mashed/soft on the inside

enjoy!

Comments
  • 3
    Yup!
    Not using the buffer correctly + using story points insteads of work days = high burnout rate.
  • 6
    1 SP = 1 day.

    So.... ADD SOME MEETING TICKETS into the sprint to create the buffer that's not being taken into consideration.

    This is how forced overtime becomes a norm.
  • 0
    @C0D4 this does not fly with the client :) nuances of the agreement [agreed with our employer, not us/devs]

    the only knob devs have for adjustment is overestimates. However, when it comes to [over]estimates of 3 days to change a text on a single button, things start to look more than ridiculous. And devs' common sense automatically kicks in and they lower the estimates to more realistic ones. And then they burrrrnnnn in meetings and adhocs.
  • 3
    Doesn't sit well with the client?

    They are ultimately getting ~20 hours your time for free by having unbilled hours with adhoc needs.

    It's not my time, but I'd be putting some expectations into that problem.
  • 0
    @C0D4 I agree. This has been a problem for years. And our employer is very careful when it comes to this client - they don't want to lose it.

    I guess devs get tired of escalating and overestimating 3x+ as a norm, and gradually get back to doing realistic estimates and slowly burning themselves down. New devs replace the burned ones, while they have the energy
  • 2
    Funny how your 'boss' agrees to insane terms of the client and shifts all blame onto the client. In the end your management seems to care only about the money. Sad place to work in when you cant even bring up your problems since both client and the management cares only about how to squeeze you out.

    Personally I would start from cancelling all useless meetings that should be e-mails. Then if an adhoc takes longer time, I would update original estimations.

    Besides that clock out after 8 hours and disconnect from work. Unless you get some perks such as extra days off or paid for overtime, there is no reason to do it.
  • 1
    God modern agile sounds gay
  • 1
    I miss informal scrum
  • 0
  • 0
    @AnxiousADHDGuy Get used to him already.
  • 3
    There is no idle time in development. Software development isn't production - it is research. So stop taking deadlines seriously. You will never see a time where there is "less to do".
  • 0
    @AnxiousADHDGuy where we don't use magical funtime safe space terminology lol
  • 0
    Jargon kills @netrikas lol
    Formal agile terminology terrifies me lol
  • 0
    Its my lifes goal at my org to never let the managers even catch the slightest idea of the SP concept
  • 0
    @fullstackclown why is SP that bad? I have to ask - never had to work with SP myself
  • 0
    @fullstackclown understanding the SP concept here would have helped. It's explicitly to avoid expressing it in time.
    Also velocity is not a goal but a trend. The trend gives insight and allows for an expected forecast.
    This number is however influenced heavily. Team performance, better or worse estimations holiday, sick days and unplanned stuff
  • 3
    So when 1d = 1 SP, why even use story points?

    There is this new trendy metric called hours, days and weeks but I guess it might too simple.
  • 2
    @PepeTheFrog I lost you.. It's too difficult to comprehend your concept
  • 0
    @hjk101 ok well if its to confuse people who don't know how long things go you can set the time equivalent to something ridiculously high :P

    it still gives people an expectation lol

    why not just say "difficulty 1 - 20" ? and give large estimate frames ?

    1 = might take up to 15 mins

    2 = might take up to an hour

    3 = might take up to 4 hours

    etc etc

    ?
  • 1
    A team of engineers that contains no active saboteurs will inevitably self-organize. Any attempts at controlling it or otherwise tampering with that fragile balance will result in a runaway reaction destroying everything.

    Engineers should invent technical solutions and not intricate ways to cram meetings in to preserve sanity without quitting.
  • 0
    @kiki kind of a generalized answer but sensible
  • 0
    @kiki I wish I still worked for the IRS and they'd just left me alone in that career field

    It was nice
    Went to training for the job and everything

    Seems like something that was stable

    People will always pay taxes
    Maybe they'll pull their collective heads out of their asses and just let me in and stay there so I can just simply do something useful and live sigh

    I'd like to work on a project as well just not something that's bullshit that they'll sabotage just so they can rewrite it or simply delete
  • 0
    @kiki is that so much to ask ? Just let the goddamn real system work! In a way that favors the few honest people or tolerably honest people left !

    Problem was one visit to that had them trying to make me do dishonest things that would have made me party to felonies which I have no interest in

    It's like don't give me the job if I'm not allowed to do it to the letter

    Not gonna be some fall guy for some group of ridiculous adult children playing to the tune of the nonspecific stereotypes and bitter thought patterns of now dead prison bound bastards !
  • 0
    @kiki just a goddamn job where at worst I see the adult workers and nothing else is that so goddamn much to ask ?
  • 0
    Omg they're playing sir mix a lot again heh
  • 0
    Why not just say "we were testing you to see if you'd be honest". Duh I take civil service very seriously.

    Don't even need 5 star hotels
    Just not nasty dive places and my transportation and meals paid and a damn salary so I can keep a place and build towards retirement since their weird ass crap doesn't jive with me

    I want to wake up shower dress for the day work go back to where I'm staying exercise a little eat a meal and pass out and do it all over again

    It's this incessant "were not really happy were just spiteful assholes parading around our filth because we don't like people who can be happy or honest and have normal sexual desires which we can't have and need to be criticized and made fearful for some reason" bullshit they need to fucking stop

    Christ go back in the closet already and stay there so the world doesn't suck or die already !
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