I feel like I need to clarify the concept of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity.

The masculinity itself is not toxic! Being a masculine man is not being toxic. Being a man is not being toxic.

Toxic masculinity, in a nutshell, is:
- Teaching boys to never express their feelings. Men don't cry. You should always maintain the “tough” image. If you open up about how you feel, you're a pussy. Domestic abuse of men doesn't exist. A man can't be raped by a woman.
- You should only depend on yourself. Even if you're in trouble (say, with depression or bullying), and you ask for help, you're a pussy.
- Boys will be boys. Aggression is typical for men, and expressing it beating other men is a manly behaviour.

There is also toxic femininity:
- Men should work and provide for the women. Women shouldn't work, they should instead be housekeeping and raising kids.
- Women should be pretty and work on their looks (to attract men).
- If you don't have kids by the age of 30, there is something wrong with you.

It almost seems like traditional grotesque gender roles diminish the personality for the sake of social conformity. The pattern is always “men should”, “women should”. They tell you what to do, authoritatively so, based on your biological sex. They try to “put you in your place” where you “belong” just because of your genitals. This is toxic.

It is important to retain personality. The ultimate goal is to get rid of those stereotypes and finally throw them in the garbage bin where they belong. Because of them, we have anorexia in women (the most deadly mental disorder), and also male suicides through the roof.

Before you label me “feminist”, bear in mind that the third wave is all over the place, to the point they can't agree on what feminism is.

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    Responses cheat sheet:

    - “you cry like a pussy” — “Well, I cry, because I'm brave enough to do so. I'm not afraid of shmucks like you running their mouth.”

    - “you ask for help like a pussy” — “Ancient hunters always hunted in groups. Asking for help and forming a group is the purest primal form of being a man.”
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    Nice video from a sociology graduate man on a subject:

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    Jack London describing toxic masculinity in “To build a fire”. Spoiler: the protagonist dies
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    > just because of your genitals

    Not just because of that. Hormonal apparatus is also different between men/women, which inarguably causes lots of other physiological, psychological and anatomical differences between men and women.

    I agree with you, the social gap between genders is far too wide. We shall not remove that gap, but maintain its width instead, because, like it or not, biologically it exists. And biology determines our abilities and behaviour. There is considerable deviation among individuals though. And these "deviates" are usually the ones shouting pro-gender-equality, as they don't feel comfortable being squished into stereotypical social frame.

    I'm not against equality. I'm against denying the obvious - that males and females are completely equal in every sense. They are not.

    IMO the very same thing applies to racism.

    We are all alike and we are all (socially) equal in *almost* all aspects/areas.
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    @netikras yes. This is why there are no male vs. female boxing matches. Also, there was this iconic tennis match: https://sportskeeda.com/tennis/...

    Also, there is no male vs. female gymnastic competitions. The same reason as with the boxing, but upside down.

    But, in the modern society, intelligence is more important than physical strength. And, in this regard, namely logical thinking, reasoning, comprehension, memory, intellectual capacity, men and women are undoubtedly equal.

    “The gap is far woo wide” — couldn't agree more.
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    Dating has been quite though, not gonna lie. My worthiness depends on how much money I make, since my "role" is being a provider even if i do not want kids. Overall yeah things are fucked. But I put up with them and carry on, not much else I can do.
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    No shit. I hate other males sometime. I grew up in a violent place and they're physical threat to me.
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    @netikras Agree, and the latest trends are also messed-up. Like the whole 'I identify myself as them/their'. People should keep what they are born with. Sure you can have some other preferences or so. But then you are just transgender.

    Because if all this logic bulshit applies, and the fact that 'homo' guys have more female friends, I would like to define myself as a lesbian transgender (= hetero)
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    @ars1 I _felt_ that. May I hug you?
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    @Grumm maybe consider actually meeting (irl) a trans person and someone who uses they/them pronouns before you throw the whole group under the bus because you don’t understand it.
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    Most of this comes from thinking and trying to fit individuality into predefined templates.

    Which is nonsense.

    You cannot fit an individual into a template. That's the whole point of individuality.

    No one is the same.

    We're all human, but everyone has their own experiences, personality, .... .

    If we could all just agree on that and respect each other, that would be nice.

    As said in the other thread: Respect means that you don't provoke, don't use violence and don't try to force your way of living onto others.
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    I wonder how we can avoid toxic masculinity from replicating… while it seems easy, it’s an extremely complex topic as punishing a toxic masculinity behaviour often reinforces the toxicity due to the fact toxic masculinity is shame driven
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    @piratefox on point, my friend, as usual 🤝
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    @jeeper Yes, I have never met a trans, but know someone who asked to be called using the 'they/them'.

    That person is a lovely person and what she wants to feel comfortable is not an issue for me.

    If I met a trans, I would first of all respect that person. (I don't judge people that easily)

    What bothers me is just the double standards people has about different groups.
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    @Grumm ah I may have judged you too harshly. Sorry about that. Many people who say something along the lines of “well I could just identify as x and y” are doing so due to intolerance but it seems you mentioned it due to a genuine confusion. Identify affirmations are affirming of things you already feel deep down. If you just say you are some other gender or sexuality, and it feels put on or it doesn’t feel reliving or like a weight has been lifted off, then you do not actually feel that way. Nothing wrong with experimenting, but be honest with your true self, whether or not that lines up with how you were born.
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    @jeeper this is officially the best comment here. What a brave move to make. Admitting you were wrong, then outlining the EXACT way I feel about it.

    “feel reliving or like a weight has been lifted off” — straight into feels my dude. The first time another person referred to me as “she”, I _felt_ exactly this — the weight being lifted off.

    You won devRant today 💖
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    @jeeper I ++ed everything I could through the web version. I hope this small gift is better than nothing
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    ok, let's assume the term isn't absolutely stupid to begin with because it's always just misused to shame men.

    in that case, you still got toxic femininity totally wrong.
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    @Midnight-shcode if the term is misused, it’s not stupid, it’s misused.
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    @jeeper ok, sorry, let me correct myself: it's stupid because it's misdefined for the purpose of shaming men for anything in any situation
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