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We are a weird breed of animals. We've overcome our primal problems and now we're looking for/trying to create some more.
Not too long ago I also had an eureka moment, where I've come to realise that I really don't want to spend my life in a career, trying to prove something to myself and others. I want to live my life enjoying the time and goodness it's got to offer. And I want my kids to enjoy it the same.
But then again, I've had my career path and I've grown to the point where I can comfortably afford this luxury: I have a roof, a car, some toys, a fam and some savings to get out of trouble. So I'm in a similar spot as you are :)
I'm thinking that if we have this question, then we might be looking at it wrong - there must be a third option (probably an abstraction, or a slightly more complex attitude than just 1 aspect to focus on), that covers both cases: live&enjoy + learn&work hard to achieve goodness. -
We3D26712y@netikras a wise man said once : 'knowing that everything can be looked at from at least 2 povs...' - so I agree on ur last paragraph and as a whole.
@gymmerDeveloper sorr for the break of ur rule, just wanted to say that =] -
@netikras yup definitely first world problems. But that's what has driven us always. When we were primates it was a more comfortable living minus wars that led to agriculture, industrial revolution... Leading to more wars
But the instinct of trying to solve for comfort is always there.
It gets even more hazy when you're looking through a parents lens. You wouldn't want your child to commit the mistakes you did. But the essence of lesson is in the experience, denying that may not be that effective.
The debate goes on -
It’s a tough one, fortunately for me, when my son was born I was self employed (still am). This gave me the space to walk him to school and meet him afterwards, every day of his young life. I learned so much about him and me during that period. He is now 16 and I have presented a view of the world that involves experiencing many things and finding the thing you love doing and figuring put how to make a living from it. I always hated the idea of committing to 40 hours a week on a darkened room until you retire with a nice house car and dull holidays every year. I saved some money every month so that when he is 18 he has the freedom to choose his own path without the pressure of needing to work. He has plans to travel the world when he reaches 18, he loves that since he went to vietnam and cambodia on a 4 week school trip.
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First of all, it's not a bad thing to reduce career in favour of kids. Time with your kids is short, they will eventually move out and then it's over.
However, I still think it's important to show your kids that work is important. I want my daughters to work hard in the field they love, not work just for work's sake. Be an example for them, show them that working is nice and fun, but don't force them to do something that you deem to be important. -
> "Being a parent I've come to the conclusion that my 'career' isn't a priority, my kid is."
And some will never know that feeling. Can't really describe it, you just know.
Got a recognition 'award' for a completed project and I got more satisfaction for telling my family at dinner than the claps in the meeting room from my peers (not for me, there were about a dozen recognized).
Me: "Got piece of paper today for that project I was working on and was recognized for solving the database performance problem."
Wife: "That's nice"
Daughter: "Boring."
Son: "Did they have snacks? Bring any home?"
Ahhh...as Mel Brooks said "It's good to be the king." -
Disclaimer: I'm not a parent
BUT
Maybe what will enable you to raise your child the way you want is the time and effort you've put into your career until now?
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Being a parent I've come to the conclusion that my "career" isn't a priority, my kid is.
Thats also because I'm at a position wherein i know that even with a non 100% effort towards work i can still get substantial results
I've been thinking now that I've come to this conclusion, would i want to raise my child in a way that she herself comes to a similar conclusion eventually. As in follow a career path, grow, become a parent and realise your priorities aren't the ones you always thought they were.
Or should I raise her to be focused on life and not try to make a mark in the world.. by focusing on the little things and not the grand picture.
Parents only comments are suggested here
rant
parents
eureka
parenting
career