'rona virus working from home thug life.

MS Teams, several people including my PM, my company's sales lead, and the top brass from the client.

Sharing my center monitor with some technical documents etc.

A wild messenger message appears from my wife with the contents, "I'm gonna come home for lunch and fuck you sideways."

I'd put the amount of time it took me to mouse up there and flick that thing off the screen at about 900 miliseconds.

How fucked (in addition to sideways) am I?

Tl;dr ~ Fucked my wife. Fucked my life.

Me: here is my idea with the code. Does it follow what you had in mind?
Dev lead : this is good...really good but if you could take everything you have here and make it a reusable module that would be great!
Me: so it is or isn't what you had in mind?
Dev lead :: it is but I need you to change it all.
Me....FML

No better way to start off a new year than to wake up to message from the boss telling you that you need to start to work even harder because there are projects overdue and clients has started charging penalties.
Of course he doesn't care that there are only two of us (me, a Junior Android Dev and he iOS Dev) and there are 3 projects, all with deadlines in December 2017 or January 2018.

TeamLeader : "Come two seconds"

TL : "I'd like you to check that out when you do that"

Me: "But it's your job to do this"

TL: "Yeah, but I'd like you to just check in case I forgot"

THEN DO YOUR FKING TASK PROPERLY WHATS THE POINT IF YOU FORGOT AND I DO IT

Edit my english sucks

Sounds like brainfuck...

Seriously corp....who the hell thought is was going to be a good idea to try and cram together a Microsoft product with os....wtf. typescript has NO business being used with REACT. Ummm if ts doesn't know what push() is we are all f'ed

Me: I spent some time cleaning up code because our server was crashing every time I called this api I needed for the new feature we are building this sprint.
Scrum master: why are you working on things that were not planned in this sprint
Me: ....