Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

She is my "dummy test" for me to make sure that I explain things clearly enough so that anyone could understand. So far, I taught her how Docker, Ansible and CSS work 👌