Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

There's megaphones, but some people need a minephone or preferable a STFUphone

Hey guys... What are the ways to deal with group of NOISY coworkers?

Yes... I tried asking them to Shut up...
And, No... I can’t ask my fucking manager coz, he’s one of them...

We have company wide communications such as Skype and WebEx, so why the fuck do people feel the need to hold an ad hoc meeting right behind my desk? Thank God for NC headphones.