Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”16 -
Thursday
PM: Hey why is A delayed? It should be top priority.
me: I just completed B, and C which were also top priority but got scheduled earlier, so I thought they..
PM: Agh, yes. But can you then finish A by the end of week? it would be very important!
me: No, I unfortunately don't think I'd have enough time by the end of wee..
PM: Why? This should be *the* top priority task. You should not start other tickets before A is done.
me: Exactly. But I *just* started. And. I. don't. have. enough. free. hours. left. this. week.
PM: But why?!
me: So just on Friday I have these 5 meetings here..
*shows calendar*
PM: Ok... OK! Then don't attend those before you are done. This should be more important.
me: Ugh, oh-key...are you sure?
PM: Yea, just let who invited you know that you can't attend and feel free to cc me in, I'll explain A is most important atm.
me: Ok, thanks, but that won't be necessary.
PM: What? Why?
me: You invited me to the Friday meetings.
Obviously I had to attend all 5 meetings today and A is pushed back to next week. :)10 -
Dear everyone,
I am never late to meetings you set up with me, so please stop being late to meetings I set up with you.5 -
Me: *sends meeting request*
Attendee: *3 days later*, hi is there anything in particular you needed to discuss?
Me: ... nope, none what so ever. Decided to take 30 mins out of my busy day to talk to you, a person I don't know, for 30 mins. Definitely the title of the meeting request has nothing to do with it, I wouldn't bother reading that now, since you haven't yet anyway. Cheers!5 -
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
Have you ever had a recursive meeting? A meeting about a meeting, about a meeting, about a meeting...9
-
Meetings all day. Latest meeting topic: "Why are we going to miss our deadline?"
Here's an answer : Stop with all the meetings and let me code!4 -
Manager Logic: The project is behind, we have brought on additional managers to satisfy the client. 😲 The fuck is a manager going to do? "Meetings! We need more meetings to ensure the deadline is met."2
-
All,
Let's have a quick meeting about today's meeting so we can plan our meeting for tomorrows meeting. Thanks!
Thanks,
Kill myself
5 -
Waiting for a meeting, thought I might as well show off my XPS sticker game.
ALSO, FUCK MEETINGS. MULTIPLE HOURS WASTED FOR SAYING THOUSANDS OF SHITS AND LIKE ONE USEFUL THING.
Edit: legit forgot pic
18 -
Here's a favorite of mine. Managers need to be in meetings to be productive. Developers need to stay far away from meetings to be productive. Managers love to drag developers into meetings and then wonder why their productivity is down.1
-
!rant
I complained during a dev team review about the too many dev calls/meetings we have that are supposed to improve our productivity but instead feel like interrupting our work and line of thoughts when focusing on something.
I expected the team lead to bash me or say "Nooo, these meetings are important bla bla bla" but he received it quite positively and already changed how we do things.
3 -
Me: *tells manager that we have too many meetings*
Manager: *schedule a meeting to explain why we need many meetings*5 -
SCRUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 15 MINUTES, NOT FUCKING 1.5 HOURS
People who like hearing themselves talk shouldn't be in charge of meetings. We can't get the work done if you keep having meetings to talk about us getting the work done.6 -
Some dude in upper management: We hear you. We have too many meetings, it's not healthy. From now on we'll have meeting free Friday morning!!!
And then all meetings on Friday morning are re-scheduled on Friday afternoon, or Thursday afternoon.
Yeah this really works, genius! -
My team has 1-on-1 check-up meetings with our boss about once a month.
My 1-on-1 today consisted solely of him saying "So I bought a new Porsche, want to see a picture?"
It was a pretty productive meeting, if I do say so myself!2 -
Meetings about meetings that we're going to have to discuss the need for the next meeting wherein a potential followup meeting will be scheduled to meet for the meeting.3
-
Fuck you and your bullshit Teams meetings.
I hope you die a painful and slow death while your servers burst in flames and you hang yourselves.
You schedule 4 of them, then bitch about how developers aren’t getting any work done.
Maybe if you didn’t suffocate them with your bullshit meetings they would.
I am looking forward for the contract to expire or in this project so I can finally get some peace.
Fuck your stupid meetings. You deserve to be arrested and shot by the Gestapo (or KGB, whichever you find more evil).
16 -
"Update on the last meeting, we'll either release what we've got or do something different"
WELL NO SHIT! 🤦♂️4 -
My team lead is off this week and I was selected to be the "acting team lead". So far I have attended 73648283 meetings. Please pray for me!1
-
As a Java developer I didn't write a line of code at work for about 2 months. Been so busy with meetings, doc, governance, architecture decisions, running after people for approvals,... I really miss coding.2
-
Just had the first meeting in the new company I'm working at.
Started at 1:00 pm
Ended at 5:30 pm
Almost had to slap myself in order to stay awake
😴5 -
My team has regular daily meetings they all call scrum. Meetings like 1+ hours. I wanna immolate myself in protest!2
-
Seven hours of meetings this week, and every. single. one. of them could have been an email.
How can they expect me to get anything done when all I’m doing is listening to them drone on and on and …
And of course this shouldn’t affect the deadlines. No siree! But can I work during them? Not a chance! … Totally do anyway …5 -
So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.1 -
Meetings... They say coding is 70% thinking and well.. I find meetings to be a great place to think about what am currently working on. I go in with a sketch book and sketch away. I always figure out whatever is bugging me by the end of the meeting. After all the PM will send a summary of whatever I may have missed during the meeting
-
Idk why but every time I hear the business side ppl use corporate buzzwords I wanna punch them in the face…4
-
It's my third week in my new company doing my internship. We have daily SCRUM meetings, project briefings, weekly meetings, requirement documents and other stuff - all in French. I only understand less than 50% of what's happening during most of the meetings. There's enormous pressure during meetings where I have to focus on every syllable they utter to try and grasp what's going on. So far they're still under the assumption that I understand more than I actually do. Haven't run into any major fuckups so far. I feel like an exe file in a Linux environment.5
-
My company don't trust the employees to the point, we have nearly meetings every 13 minutes explaining what we do.
I just wasted one week of implementing the features due to unnecessary meetings.7 -
Had a day with 5 hours of meetings.
Told my dissatisfaction to my superior, she understands.
I have a 7 hour meetings day today.
😔2 -
I fucking hate meetings! I just spent 3 hours in a meeting arguing on how to do pull requests to master.
I am now nursing a severe headache of bullshit ideas and loud voices!!!!!!3 -
Once upon a time we were normal remote professionals and our sprint meetings were characteristically professional, no more, no less.
Until.
one of our juniors, a Southern sports-bro type, suddenly started saying "SIR" to the scrum master in literally every sentence.
"Good morning sir". "Yes sir." "Thank you sir." "I can do that sir."
SOMEHOW this plague caught on to half of the male members of our team like we're in the military or something. We have ONE veteran and ZERO Indians and I can't think of a logical explanation for why we're suddenly sir-ing each other and people who aren't even high level executives.8 -
Took me looooong looooong time to understand that the primary work in a managerial role involves meetings and calls as the *main* thing, not something you do sparsely to stay aligned with the team, so them calling 3 hour long meetings might feel like a waste to me but for the manager it is what they would consider proper work.
At least that's my current hypothesis in trying to justify the time that's 90% wasted.
6 -
Whoever at Zoom decided that this button needed to be at this location on the Touch Bar ought to be fired.
Out of a cannon.
Into the sun.
Or at the very least doomed to have their desktop or webcam shared at random times during sensitive meetings. It is for the grace of God that the client didn’t catch me straining to hear the awful acoustics in their conference room.
7 -
34 meetings on calendar for this week.
It's not even Monday noon yet.
Even the almighty creator does not know how many more will be scheduled during the week.14 -
"with that said" is the most overused phrase in meetings.
Not sure if it‘s a just a German thing when we speak English.10 -
At my job in the past week there have been at least one 1 hour-long meeting every day with today hitting the record with 3 meetings.
This is fucking insane. I signed to a developer job, not a guy-sittimg-and-listening job.2 -
Unscheduled meetings are the worst.
You preparing whole day to leave early for the day, then manager suddenly puts up an unscheduled meeting. Oh great isn't it!!1 -
self-appointed managers during daily :
SAM : a lot of meetings
SAM : a lot of code review
SAM : a lot of team management
Actual manager : But on what task have you been working?
SAM : a lot of meetings2 -
Currently literally sitting in a meeting about meetings. Like for real, the topic the last 15 minutes has been what the difference between 3 of the daily team meetings is.
Then the dumbass who booked this for two hours says about one of the others "an hour is long"3 -
Got a middle software developer position at a great company.... wrote 10 lines of code and spent 90% of the time in calls and meetings.
-
PM: I don't like the number of meetings we have
Me: Oh I agree. We have too..
PM: We don't have enough of them.
Me: (oh... I was going to say that we need to cut back... But ok)
PM: I need better visibility into what everyone is doing.
Me: (so you wanna micromanage. Got it...)
Me: ... Gotcha, yup... Writing that down.3 -
My 12 year old bag, now with graphics, goes with me to client meetings and acts as a deterrent for clients talking shit/fake knowledge or cliches.
3 -
Next time I have to negotiate a contract I'm gonna ask for x hourly but 2x for meetings
Fuck meetings2 -
NEW RULE
From the 15th minute of a meeting onward, my mind will phase out and I'll stop listening.
It's your care to make sure you say everything important before that happens.7 -
We have so many meetings.
"I once had a meeting which was to discuss how to organize meetings on how to manage tech debts"
"God knows WHY!"3 -
Meetings. I don't know how management people get anything done, but the time I spend in meetings counts completely opposite, in terms of productivity.
-
When I told John our newest colleague “I understand your frustration but you need to calm down because collaboration is key”
John:
Okay okay okay, I get it. Collaboration is key and all, but these meetings freaking killing me. We need a better balance, where we can have effective meetings that actually drive progress without sacrificing our precious coding mojo.
At the end of the day, I just wanna do what I’m f*ckin paid for. But these damn meetings are killing my vibe, and it's downright frustrating. Can't we just get back to the good ol' days of actually getting sh*t done!
{Bro is in for a long ride}2 -
Sitting in a board room with about 20 people all who have flown in from different parts of the world to discuss the project plan for a web app with an international user base.
We are discussing a web form with a dynamic layout based upon the users profile. Users enters a ton of information, calculations, are made, and info in stored into a db. Info can be updated and will be reported upon later.
One of the project leads representing Europe suggest that the form be exported into Excel so that the user can fill it out in Excel only to be imported via the application. WTH!!!! Later I found out this was that leads 2nd week with the company. Why were you even at the meeting and why did you have input?3 -
Meeting101:
1) Schedule a meeting to discuss some important issues.
2) Discuss everything but those issues!
3) Schedule another meeting for same issues.
😭2 -
Sat in a 4 hours "strategic" planning meeting on a Saturday.! The kinda stuff that makes me want to drink this:
-
Hey Chris can you join this conference call where we will talk about hardware and pricing options and not bring up anything software related.3
-
I'm supposed to be the introverted, non-people person! But the client meetings I'm in for my college senior project go off the rails into awkward mumbling unless I step in and take the tiniest bit of effort in driving a meeting.
Am I doomed folks to become a BA or other person dealing with clients all day, pls end me now2 -
Why can't meeting organizer enforce time schedule, especially ending?
It's pretty much normal to stay 1,5 hour on 1 hour meeting.1 -
End the f*ckin meeting on time! I don’t care if you still have more to say, 30 minutes should be 30 minutes.3
-
New team in new company is awesome, no meetings for standup just post in slack channel, less meetings = work feeling less like work for me4
-
Recently attended a meeting about lessening the frequency of meetings and making them more productive. After three hours, it was decided that we needed to block out three more meetings in the future to follow up on this topic.
-
If I ever run my own engineering team I shall ban all meetings after 12 PM. Or permit meetings only on 2 days of the week.6
-
Migration in progress (long one, lasting over a month)
PM: Let's schedule a meeting to discuss migration progress
PM: Let's schedule a meeting to agree on what should we test
PM: Let's schedule a meeting to get specs of the new infra
Seriously, PMs. One 1 hour long meeting costs at least 4 hours of productive time (1 hour for travel, 1 hour for the meeting, 1+ hour for preparing for the meeting, 1+ hour for post-meeting discussions). And more often than not all meetings end with "We will come back to you later in regards to <some question not answered during meeting>" and it always means "we'll continue this chat via emails"
Why can't you first ask "do we need a meeting or can we sort this out via email?" ??? Or are you intentionally wasting everyone's time?4 -
I am working with a team that's producing tons of new services..
And me being a fresher, reading new designs every other day with God knows complex implementations and business requirements and attending design review meetings(where I can barely understand anything)
having a great learning curve..
Hopefully, I survive this period and cope up with the inputs...
Note: Just don't ask what's my contribution.. I am gearing up for the D-Day to make my impact(not a negative one).. 😎 -
Business logic:
Meeting starts at 9:45 AM. They only really wanna talk about the features they have on the horizon and how innovative and distruptive and rich we'll be. We spend 10, maybe 15 minutes talking about UI and details of the feaure. The meeting ends a few minutes before 12, so that's 2 hours of lunch (I wanna respect the schedules we had pre-covid to keep that rhythm). I start working again at 2 PM, but 15 minutes later, I get called again by one of the managers to hear more about this new great new idea they have.
So I work about 7-9 hours a day. But HR and management want to spend 3 of those hours. Suggestion: we'd improve our productivity by about 35% if we cut those daily meetings.6 -
I really think 1 hr+ meetings are a fucking waste of time. By minute 40, people's attentions waver.
If I ever run my own shop I will fucking ban meetings that last more than 30 minutes, and have a hard cap of 7 people per meeting and require a fucking agenda. God damn it. Being stuck in meetings where 90% of crap not relevant to me is bs.
#TiltedMonday9 -
Dev hours for a 2 week sprint is eaten by countless meetings and the deadline will not move. During sprint planning all meetings should be stated there or there will be number of hours allowed for the meetings as it will eat development hours.
I hate meetings all of a sudden during development.2 -
Writing a new tool, and it's looking pretty slick so far.
This is much better than meetings upon meetings. Maybe I should ask for a demotion so I can be writing code more often?5 -
I'm attending more meetings than I ever thought was possible. Low-key kinda miserable right now. Shout-out to my younger self:
https://devrant.com/rants/2081588/...4 -
Yay! Another meeting to go over a design concept for the next version of our website, awesome this makes meeting 163
-
Why would I strive to be productive if 90% of my work consists of me waiting for approvals, access, credentials, attending meetings about meetings?
-
I started getting more into the product management side of the business lately, which involved being invited to what feels like 80 meetings per week.
My schedule today consisted of 5:30 of meetings, three of which were a single API design kickoff…
I’m starting to get why people are so damn mad at meetings all the time. Should’ve been a fucking email chain3 -
Meetings would be better without people.
I mean I like the IDEA of meetings...
Honestly I'm the type of person who if I could would schedule lots of meetings to make sure we're all on the same page, and to be sure the thing is going to do the thing everyone wants / get their perspective, etc. I really want to KNOW what the folks who are going to use this thing need / want / what works best for them.
On the other hand I know that meetings are often more like:
Me: "Ok let's so here's our data, now tell me what fields they want to edit and so forth."
People: "All of them."
Me: "Uh, no you don't want that or they'll break everything ... X, Y and Z require those fields for A, B, and C to work."
Me: "Let's go field by field and you tell me if they need to edit it, and why."
People: "Yeah this first one they have to be able to change this one."
Me: "Wait no, that's the primary key for that table, I don't know why that's on this list but no you can't change that."
People: "Yeah we have to be able to change that."
Me: "No, you can't, do you even know what that number IS?"
People: "Um... no ..."
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻1 -
Monday morning client meetings are usually a pain. If they're not delayed once, they're delayed twice, and they go on for hours, taking up the entire morning for everyone on the project.
To make today even better, it was about an hour of our client ripping into us developers on the project, and the application we're making, to shreds, saying that we have a lack of attention to detail and are working well.
(not bearing in mind, we're building a hybrid application, so it's a glorified web page and we can't test on every android phone, or iOS device and any combination of keyboards for those in between, and every problem comes with its own quirks when you're forcing things with html, js and angularjs).
I feel back for the pm, she had literally 5 more hours of salty, salty calls with our other poc about the issues raised and how we could go about fixing all these minor issues, since they know the solution to them, despite having little to zero technical knowledge.
Just another day in the office I guess. -
That moment when: you lift your gaze from your phone to understand the sudden quiet is because your expert opinion is needed in the meeting.
-
"we need to reduce the amount of meetings" said the super-duper senior enterprise manager who invited me to 20 meetings for the next 2 weeks.
To be honest, I haven't figured out yet what he is actually doing 💅2 -
Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.
Welp... gotta go. Fuck.2 -
boss. "I have a one o'clock meeting" Project Manager "uuuuuh, it's after one" boss: "it's an asynchronous meeting"
-
I don't like many sudden unplanned meetings appearing during your estimated development hours. It consumes some development time and destroys your momentum.
We follow the 2 weeks sprint that contains sprint ceremonies like sprint planning, demo, retro, daily stand ups and backlog grooming meetings. My capacity should be less then 80 hours since there are sprint ceremonies and unplanned meetings that happen during development hours. Unfortunately, my capacity is still set to 80 hours and meetings hours are not deducted. This puts me to a disadvantage as I need to do unpaid OT/weekend work just to make up for the lost time consumed by meetings.
Those 1 hour/30 minutes meeting piles up thus consuming development work hours. So a simple example is that you have 32 hours estimated to finish a big user story but sudden unplanned meetings and sprint ceremony meetings will consume some of that 32 hours. I will bring this up in our next retrospective meeting.12 -
Meetings.. Was I not listening? Blame it on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
Maybe society has AEHD (Attention Expected Hyper-Delusion).
Seriously, who can pay attention to someone speaking AT you.
We have amazing magical devices one can enchant to do their bidding; Contemplating the details of such, often, is more enjoyable than what your rambling on about, talking head.
Not sorry, ;).
Also THANK YOU, you amazing MIT's (Manager of Information Technologies). A lot of you understand and even may use your underling employee's as a vented heat sync for your frustrations. I love what you do and thank the universe I don't have to engage myself in those activities. I have sympathy for the decision to give up your jeans and t-shirts for business attire; keep strong, your role is vital. <3
The insomnia is going to have to give me a break. Work in 3 hrs, time for a nap; and no, I don't take ADD medication (Amphetamine). I don't need a prescription; I can procure my own drugs, thank you.
Nor would I do them to get through work, that's drug abuse.
5 -
Appointments appointments appointments meetings meetings appointments suffering meetings meetings AAAAAAAAAAA I DON WANNAAAAA5
-
Avoid face to face meetings, have con calls
Avoid con calls, have email chains
Avoid email chains, do one on one mails
Avoid mails, text
Ignore texts -
Last week my PM scheduled a meeting for the whole team of 14 devs to talk about our tasks, how we can improve our workflow, so he's up to date on daily stuff nad sprint progress. After an hour and a half of lots of brainstorming i just asked
- what exactly do you want to achieve with all these changes?
- basically i would like on overview of current progress on each task
And he proposed couple of different meetings during the sprint, which would waste dev time. He proposed to apoint one person reaponsible to keeping him informed during each sprint. He proposed we change our meetings, our process, all of it.
So I just sat with my laptop during the same meeting and I prepared a jira board with swimlanes, filters, etc. Where you can sort by priority, size, what is blocked, what is, waiting in queue, what is being currently developed, what is being tested, what's ready for deployment, etc. Easy. 5-10mins of work.
- does this solve your problem?
-....
- you have everything here
-... What if someone doesn't update the ticket status?
- we check everything during our dailies, so, worst case scenario is the status is not update for 24h
-... Umm.. Yeah.. I think thats it. Thank you.
So, we basically wasted 20+ man-hours on another bullshit meeting because the guy thats supposed to be using these tools doesn't know them at all. After working here for 6 months. -
I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.
2 -
Getting real tired of people posting meetings only for you to join when they end. How hard is it to have you meeting at the time you set it for? Holy shit!1
-
Meetings are exhausting. My manager forces us to attend meetings which consumes 60% of my day. One day, he sent a meeting invite and the agenda was to talk about meetings. So it was a meeting about meetings. Meeting-ception 🤯2
-
The best parts of day are meetings with my boss. Meetings where said boss is always late, and inevitably asks "is it time"!
-
This is how it works in my company:
-> Spend entire day in meetings - don’t get anything done.
-> Start working at 6pm if you want to get anything done.
Those who have gotten promotions are the ones that have bought into this system.
I guess I won’t be getting a promotion any time soon7 -
Starting my day with 15 emails that I urgently need to respond to. I hate Thursdays. It's just meetings and emails and more meetings and more emails. No time to get work done.2
-
"Standup" meetings are based on the assumption that standing up gets uncomfortable after a while. In our team however, the meetings are not getting any briefer, we are just getting fitter. Perhaps we should introduce some more uncomfortable position, such as jump-up-and-down daily scrums, or yoga daily scrums.5
-
When the meeting organizer gets to the end and says "I'll give you back 20 minutes of your day". 🤬
No sir, plonking a meeting in my calendar doesn't mean you now own an hour of my day. No no no. You are not being a saint giving me back time. The truth is you just took 40 minutes of my time! 40 minutes I can't get back. It's gone. Forever.
Please be respectful of that next time you're planning a pointless meeting5 -
When you have so much work
To do, but can't start any of it until you have the meetings about it. Meetings meetings meetings.2 -
I hate meetings that could have been just checking the Jira to see what everyone is working on... Getting 5 people together to individually mention what they're working on... So inefficient6
-
That moment, in a meeting when you are trying to show a technical flaw in a manager idea... And suddenly you have a déjà vu moment from the "The Expert" comic sketch...
-
MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
I just cannot hold myself laughing at the most serious moments in meetings. People say the funnies/stupidest shit and they go unnoticed!
-
And now even the meetings I am not invited to are interrupting my work flow. Seriously. I need to collaborate with two people, one of whom is the SME for the piece of code I am working in who just got back from vacation, which he left on after breaking his algorithm because apparently due dilligence is lost on this guy. My other collaborator and I have been fighting this fire for two days. And they both get whisked off into another meeting before I can get ANY information out of any of them. But sure. We're only in a day by day schedule slip. With customers depending on our delivery in order to test their project. I am not work it OT for these fuckers because they decided that having a meeting is more important than. Delivering a damn reliable product.3
-
My role in teams meetings :
Admit someone in,
Stay quite the whole time,
Say thank you and bye louder when its finishing 😅😅9 -
Every time I wake up I dread the daily standup.
I prefer to work in my bed because my back hurts.
Things I don't mind:
- being there
- giving an update
Things I do absolutely mind:
- no agenda
- forced to have my camera on
- being told i look like i just woke up (so what if i did?)
- listening to the ceo talk about the weather or some other non-related bullshit for 15 min straight7 -
When you bullsh*t stuff the whole meeting, then they setup a meeting tomorrow to continue where you left off today
-
Just dozed off for 30mins during this meeting, and only 2 mins have passed...
Hate when this happens! -
Having a meeting to decide, when to have other meetings...
Scrum, scrum of scrums, workstream, planning, pm ,design review, architecture review, Sprint review on and on....on and on on...why can't i simply code:(4 -
So my team (read: not the team at all) has decided that we are going to scrum. Someone ease tell me it's not as fucking tedious as it sounds. Sounds like it's just more meetings. Especially on this team which is actually already pretty agile. And the way our "certified scrum master" describes the retrospective sounds like it was designed by the type of shitlord PM that forces everyone to wear ugly t-shirts to the mandatory company barbecue for "team building". Please tell me he's just a terrible salesman.7
-
I've been off caffeine for over two months*. I've also had a ton of 8am/9am meetings and they hurt so much. Last week I picked up a vape for the nicotine because I desperately need a stimulant for focus as I'm behind on tasks at work. I'm hoping I won't need another vape once this runs out.
Thankfully the US has the daylight savings switch next week, so my 8ams move to 9. It lasts for three weeks before they move back to 8 since they're scheduled by someone in the UK and their DST comes later.
I'm also going to talk to my manager about the 3x 8am meetings last week and how I'm not doing that again.
I hope I can get this PR done today.
* (with the exception of 1 Dr Pepper Blackberry Zero, and 1 Coke Orange Cream Zero because they're new and I wanted to try them)1 -
Been working for a client in different time zone. We are an offshore team of 18 ppl. Now we have 2 an hour long meetings daily, one is our internal and the other is with the client.
Today I mentioned that we are consuming 36 man hours daily just in the meetings and they were like, nah man, we are good. 🙄🙄 -
I would be fine with not having this meeting if it hand been on the books for 2 weeks. But I didn't want to have it and now I'm the only one here.1
-
I don’t see my myself ever becoming a team lead or PM because I fucking hate meetings. Imagine spending the whole working hours attending meetings! Jesus Fucking Christ!4
-
Just got summoned to a meeting from lunch to end of the day, in the OTHER office, 2+ hours away. On friday. Video not an option. That sucks!2
-
This is one of the weird moments that I have seen.
The company management decided to have a presentation session where they wanted to answer some questions and present some new ways of working (they emphasize about communication aspect).
I joined a couple of minutes before the meeting schedule and I was surprised to see a presentation going on and the meeting ended in 5 mn.
I get into self-doubt mode and I was checking if I have an issue with my calendar and discovered that the meeting schedule was updated but I didn't receive an update.
And the fun part, most of the new joiners didn't receive that update as well, so it's was a nice sign to show how inclusive the environment is, and how do they care about communication :D1 -
When the scrum team complains in the last three to four sprint retros that were sick of back to back meetings ... MAYBE STOP SCHEDULING BACK TO BACK MEETINGS. Would it kill you to just spread them out a bit?4
-
As an intern a couple of years ago I was in a meeting about our department were having to many meetings. The outcome was two more meetings and a workshop about how to have more efficient meetings.
-
Corporate bullshit and bloated systems...
I keep on getting sucked into meetings where I know what each word means but the sentaces don't make sense -
Am I the only one who feels like morning scrum meetings are a complete waste of time? At least in the way that my team does them. It's 30 minutes of "I did this thing yesterday, and I will continue to do that same thing today." All of this information can be sent in an email, but we insist on meeting every morning to say the same exact things.
For the past 3 weeks, the majority of the team has said the same exact things during scrum: "I continued to work on this big feature yesterday. Thank you." Like how does a detailed retelling of what this person did yesterday pertain to the rest of the team? It's just meeting for the sake of meeting, and talking for the sake of talking.
If you have this little technical issue that only pertains to work that this single person is doing, then meet with that person separately and discuss it. There's no reason to make everybody else sit and listen to information that will never be useful to them.
And most of the time, this scrum stems into spontaneous unplanned longer meetings afterwards. So suddenly this "quick" 30 minute scrum turns in 2-hours of meetings and a morning wasted on information that could've easily been discussed over email instead5 -
Meetings are the way of parasites to keep shining without doing shit. Why do they gave to drag me into their bullshit meeting?!$&
2 -
The PM asks me almost hourly about my progress on this project. I am slowly training him to ask me through PM instead of face to face.
Meetings are now being taken at my desk through apps like Hangouts Meet instead of the Conference Room.
I'm chipping away, guys and gals....I'm chipping away.3 -
Last week I had a meeting to get us all on the same page for today's prep meeting... Tomorrow we have the actual meeting to be followed two hours later by the meeting review meeting... Culminating in decisions that drive the direction of a set of upcoming meetings... Which will all have prep meetings and some have further review meetings...
I'm so excited...2 -
Jfc why do phone meetings always have like 20 cumulative minutes of radio silence? I swear, I ask a question and I may as well be listening for a pin to drop over there because no one in team leadership is saying a n y t h i n g.
It's upsetting because it makes me painfully anxious because Oh God What Did I Say but more than that, it feels like this huge waste of time to just...sit there. On the phone. And then when we go over time later in the middle of pointing a user story leadership's like, "Hey, can we wrap this up?" like sorry? That's not...my fault? I'm...
And I totally get it if you can't answer my question immediately, but if it takes you more than like a minute to come up with something just gimme a, "I'll get back to you on that," and move on. No need to wait for the end days, dude. We've got lives to live and better things to do, Clearly.3 -
Couple hours before:
Management: "Emergency/last minute Meeting in 2 hours! Please attend"
Meeting time:
Management: "We just wanted to let you know that our mask usage is being changed to fit the recent CDC guidance"
Total time wasted: 6 minutes. 12 if you count the time for any questions. -
as usual... someone presents something in the biweekly developers meeting, it gets highly critizised by most devs, and yet the day after everyones trying it out. Sometimes is hard to understand how devs think =/1
-
I'm in our biweekly architecture meeting. I feel like Denny Crane in Boston Legal: everything is fuzzy and I have no idea what's going on.1
-
When you complain about having too many meetings, and then get invited to a meeting to discuss other meetings FMDL 😡1
-
So, PM who has arranged 1.30 hours of meeting to ask us about 'the agenda' requested by client, decided to send 'another agenda' asking explanation what client exactly wants, which clearly wasn't the agenda of this meeting.2
-
Dear god...I hate planning meetings. Especially planning meetings that aren’t even for my team. Just listening to these folks jerking themselves off about their accomplishments. Doesn’t help that the chairs are these painful folding chairs that hurt my ass.
-
I'm beginning to understand that thing about useless meetings that can be sorted out with an email.1
-
Meetings, meetings and more meetings ....... what's that, you want me in another meeting that could have been an email !!
-
of late my team has slipped in the rather irritating habit of not scheduling review meetings; instead they just announce during scrum that they'll have a review right after scrum. this just messes up the day. you go to scrum thinking 15-20 minutes, and boom you end up with 3 hours of back to back unscheduled meetings
-
The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
-
The amount of dry runs we need to do for a "laid back" presentation is fucking insane. Every other day we waste 30 minutes to an hour going over the same information and to top it off it's during lunch time.
Lunch meetings should be discouraged in the office, and I should be able to leave a meeting if I'm getting no value from it.
Just really sick of wasting time on shit that does not matter. -
I really like my boss, but...
whenever he is in the meeting it takes instead of 5-10 minutes about 45-60 minutes.
and we have 3 meetings a day... I'm glad I can just keep working now as I am in homeoffice -
Apparently some manager in the company found out that we produce less bugs if there are more meetings (there is literally no time to write actual code). At least that is the only explanation which comes to my mind WHY I HAVE TO SIT IN THESE SHITTY DISCUSSIONS THE WHOLE DAY TO DISCUSS THE SAME ISSUES AGAIN AND AGAIN.
-
Tuesdays are great days to waste in meetings with vendors that have no idea of what they're talking about. Too bad these people always manage to convince the business side.
-
Fellow devs, I want to hear your opinions on Scrum and daily stand up meetings. Do you think they're necessary?
God, I really hate that I'm required to participate in a meeting EVERY FUCKING DAY.6 -
It's refreshing yet odd when you go from a team with loads of meetings (mostly stand-ups and of that Scrum stuff) to one with only 2 weekly meetings.2
-
So who brings their own personal laptop at work and during meetings your co-worker smudges your screen while pointing their finger?
Next time I will just bring my company laptop during meetings.5 -
doing documentation in word and having meetings about it, code reviews where people say great code quality with all good practices but... we would like to do it differently, reasons? less lines of code but real reason is not understanding design patterns, also 6 levels of hierarchy and wasted effort to prove that approach is good and considered as good practice just to be changed by someone who doesn't write code anymore. Decisions that other approach is better because they did it that way 10 years ago on last project where they were developers on totally different tech stack. dear friends, welcome to corporation!1
-
I hate so much all those sprint related meetings. They literally take one day totalled (every 2 weeks).
Review, dry run demo, actual demo, planning, daily hourly meetings.... so much talking.8 -
!wk94
Those meetings.
Those bloody meetings are nothing but time suckers. Much akin to some family event where they bring everyone together, regardless of their relevance to the agenda.
Also, the fact that we have been scheduling some important meeting always since 2 fucking months, only to be declined ALWAYS. The bloody meeting has been floating as an action item for 2 months, but none gives a fuck.
But no, we want to have meetings about meetings, and meetings about why a meeting didn't happen.
Also they ask us to stretch and accommodate, sucking time out of dev.
W H Y ?1 -
My company inherited a video conference tool called Video Butler (with Zoom) from our parent. I personally have never used it, seems more a tool that's wired in and only used by execs and parent company, regardless it annoys the shit out of me. You can be in a room and all of a sudden the room switches to video conference mode with no input from those in the room. I have seen video conferences where people are chatting over room speakers to an empty room, or in a really weird situation where 2 empty rooms are connected and sending a video feed to each other. Guess the ghosts needed a conference or something. I get that things happen and managers have a lot of meetings so it's easy to lose track of details, but I genuinely don't get why any system would just connect rooms without allowing the rooms a say. The only security we have to detect it would be that our cameras move for streaming, not that anyone would notice based on past experience.
-
Send the agenda with the invite
Invite only those who can make decisions not those with only opinions
Stick to the agenda
Make the decision at the end of the meeting and stick to it.
Begins and end on time
If the decision can be made without a meeting (like via email) then do so. -
75% of the meetings with tech management (CTO and alike) could be efficient and effective if only they used proper tooling with Issues and Milestones as provided by their *self-hosted* GitLab instance.
They just use emails instead. -
TMW you go to a meeting to be presented to an idea you gave two meetings ago.
Them: what do you think, guys? We all onboard? -
(after morning coffee) Today I’ll change the world and write the most elegant and revolutionary piece of code ever.
(end of day, after 8 zoom meetings and 5 gdocs comment rounds) guess i’ll do these 2 PR reviews tomorrow.1 -
Put the meeting agenda in the meeting invite: after a few meetings of you referring to those notes in a condescending manner, people will get the hint that you want them to familiarize themselves with the agenda before the meeting. It also gives you a nice reference point if you ever get off topic.
-
Is it true that in MNC company product based or service based, there are more meetings than the work itself?2
-
A parade of planning meetings every Monday where the whole executive team (including the CEO) sits in. Each meeting was an hour long and it took up their whole day.
It was ridiculous how unproductive that was. Continues to this day AFAIK! -
Actually there are some things:
- Knowing when to stop or switch off from work;
- Too many video calls and meetings;
- No lunch time with team mates;
And many more that I'm sure that I'm forgetting 😅 -
I hate scheduled meetings then it gets cancelled. It destroys my development mood. Also meetings that go overtime.2
-
What's really the matter with meetings?
I mean, we've all been annoyed at some point by some management person scheduling meetings we think of as pointless but I've actually found myself enjoying going to one where people can discuss and share ideas (dev related, mostly).
Sure, it's not great when you are focused and you have to stop to talk to some assholes sometimes but other times it didn't bother me to think they value my input/opinion somehow.
Surely the reason for their existence is not to make you waste time, right? 🤔1 -
Im backend dev. I just had a meeting with the full team to discuss the ui design and implementation...
But I dont see my full team meetings to discuss the sofware design and architecture... u.u3 -
Three meetings a week imposed by "manager" to keep the project on pace...
10m before the last three meetings (everyone from the meeting via email): "Skip it? No updates here"
...I think we need a "project manager" -
!rant
was confused why there were do many rants about meetings, thought there was some untold unification that everyone has meetings on fridays, instead it was the announcement -
What is the general rule/idea around meetings outside of your work hours?
It has happened several times that I wasn't able to join some meetings that were outside of my work hours. I try to join but some thing or the other comes up and then I miss it. I make sure to join any meeting that's highly important or if it's about anything related to my work (or if I'm required to attend).
I work with people in different time zones and there was a meeting set after 8:30pm my time, and I wasn't able to join. My coworker messaged me, in a passive aggressive way (seemingly), asking if he needs to remind me before every meeting in my calendar so that I would join.
I feel like I'm not being paid enough for the work that I do, and I work around 8-9 hours (sometimes 10 and I don't get paid for overtime).
On top of that, am I obligated to attend every meeting and not have anything planned or unplanned to do after work hours? (I don't think I should have any obligation)
I don't have previous experience of working with international teams/clients before, so I'm not sure what I should do here.9 -
Meetings...so many meetings! Things that suck the very soul from my body and break me out of the zone I worked so hard to get into. Things that could just be an email, or a chat, or a go-fuck-yourself. 😣😭
-
How can I tell if someone is scheduling too many meetings to avoid doing work or they are just misguided?
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View