Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*

2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null

This would be funny if it wasn't supposed to show the amount on my bank account.

I'm so lucky, I have only a few null references in my life:

Null Pointer
Null Money
Null Girlfriend

Accout balance went from 0 to NULL, Life is hard as a student :(

Easily:
0. Make sure client have money.
if (step 0 == null) {
1. Have idea.
}
2. Start coding it.
3. Fix a loooot of errors and bugs.
4. Finish it.
if (step 0 == done) {
5. Send it to client.
}

I was just checking a website that a friend had designed for them a couple of years back and I was astonished at how many things were wrong with it:
- No mobile optimization, zero, null, void. There were 20px margins on either side of all the content (including navigation).
- Font size was 12px. Who does that anymore? Isn't 16px a given?
- Tons and tons of javascript and css files (support for IE7 in Font Awesome which is not even used anywhere in the website, too) - none of them minified. Are you kidding me?
- The h1 element of the website was an image wrapped in an h1. I'm sorry but Google has no clue what the website is about.
- No meta tags, none at all. No keywords or description. The website is 2 years old and it's not even found by Alexa and my website in comparison is two weeks old and I can pretty easily see its ranking and search traffic.
- The speed of the website is abysmal. The tool that Google provides scored a 2 and a 4 for mobile and desktop respectively. This is terrible.

...And I am sitting here doing nothing important with my life, pointing all of these things out, fresh out of college, while some incompetent jerk made a fairly terrible website and was paid a reasonable sum of money for it. This is just sad...

And now they are threatening us... Brilliant!

- they refuse to sign a legal agreement with us [for our services]
- they only gave us a verbal promise they will pay for our services
- they revoke lots of our accesses
- another company is taking over their product we were hired to look after before. Now they demand us do things for them for free
- a few integrations are malfunctioning with premature EOF [while reading a response]. I had escalated this with the most throughout case analysis I have done in my entire life. Three times over the last 2 years. Explaining every single detail that needs to be done, how, by whom and how to interpret the results. Escalations went to their high level mgmt. And directly had been rerouted to /dev/null...
- now they asked us to fix this whole shit. For free ofc, they have no money to pay us..
- they begged
- when that didn't work - they started threatening to route all their customers' complaints to us and flood us with them

at first I was proud to work on their project. I didn't want to leave it when my manager asked me to. A national level project, making a difference for my own country. But now.....

that's gov, my friends. That's politics and power games.

Recruiters or their bosses with sick ambitions and zero feedback.

Do I need to say more?

Spent few days to make my site looking good on desktop/mobile with few screenshots and even video to show my working projects in production. Even more few days to make really detailed 2 A4 CV with my previous job and what I was doing there. All generated from markdown.

I even saved money around half a year to go and live month in other country (Ireland, Dublin) and then on site send about 150 applications on various sites, emails, linkedout and local IT meetings.

Null, nada, nil, NaN accepted applications.

Is it some kind of joke? All companies almost cries for new workers and they don't even answer someone which founded and have no problem with growing own IT company for almost 5 years with self learnt, practically applied in production linux, HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, Go, bash, KVM and Openvz virtualization knowledge?

What they really want?
Astronaut with Brainfuck and Cobol with fluent backwards speaking Esperanto riding on monocycle with 3 hands and no need for sleep for -1 whoopercoin?