I have a friend, he's name is Joe, he's a Tarantula and he's the only web developer I've seen that loves bugs.

Vohn 4:18

- your vim pope
#preach1

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"

Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."

Manager: "Didn't you install it?"

Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."

Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"

(Just....)

Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.

Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.

A random relative at family function...
...
Relative: what do you do at Clg?🤨

ME: I learned about Python.!🤓

Relative: where u gonna use it?🤨

ME: with Anaconda and Spider.!🤓

Relative: so you work at zoo.!

ME: 😐😐😐

RIP relative😔

When are people going to understand that programming is not about quickly putting something together?

Programming may have its utility in helping us out building solutions, but that's a secondary function of it.
Ultimately and abstractly, as MIT professors said, it's about the imperative paradigm of solving problems.

I really dislike it when people treat programming as if it were a toolbox. It is a great engineering feat. That's like saying math is just about numbers. No, it is about concepts. We're thinkers, not doers.