print('Hello World')
OR
print("Hello World")

What type are you?

Nuff said

when I try to… ah, I don't care. Make it up yourself. I don't have the mental capacity to make a funny joke here.

Successfully finalizing a software project & achieving set goals within a set time.

Jeff Delaney. 100 second videos.

@SidTheITGuy IRL

People who write Rust are just not smart enough for C++

Rust.

The moment I see a mention of "preferred pronouns" on your resume, It's gonna get thrown in the bin, straight up.

I don't want my colleagues/team members to tiptoe around you.

Murphy's law is completely true.

Deployed my own software the very first time on a customer system on monday.

Today I'm at a job college class when my boss calls me: "...Hey yeah (unrelated) (yadda yadda) the software does not function for anyone").

I fucking knew it.
We don't have a proper project planning nor a real project manager/lead, we don't do QA, and now it's gone to shit.

I did my own testing extensively on monday & Tuesday, everything looked alright and worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to the weekend already...

Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."

Colleague: *calls me on Slack*

Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"

Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*

1. Enter site

*YOU MUST DISABLE UR ADBLOCK TO USE THIS SITE*

2. Exit site

You think you're gonna fuck with me and force me to waste my time disabling adblock refreshing the site so i can browse your shitty site? No I'll just go ahead and open the next website that provides the same information and better yet doesn't force me to disable my adblock. Finding alternative site with same information like yours is abundant and much faster than me wasting my time disabling adblock. Fuck you

My dad just got his abdominal surgery done. The surgeon was shocked how bad it became. He wasn't expecting it to be this bad. From an expected 1.5h surgery it prolonged to 4.5h... Thank God it went well and my dad is awake now from anesthesia. Now he has to rest in hospital for a few days. I was stressing so much about this. Thank you God🙏🙏🙏🙏☦️☦️☦️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I am having a pretty shitty day today, but I still wanted to recognize you for doing so well and know that you can still do anything you want to do.

[vent]
I am java dev with 5 yoe at a place which has really good engineering talent.
Was assigned a feature request.
Feature request requires me and one more older dev(in age, not in exp at company) to write the code. My piece is really super complex because of the nature of the problem and involves caching, lazy loading and tonne of other optimization. Naturally it makes up 90% of the tasks in the feature request. On the other hand, the older dev simply has to write a select query (infact he only needs to call it since a function is already written).
Older dev takes up all the credit, gives the demo, knows nothing but wrongly answers in meetings with higher ups and was recently awarded employee of qtr.
It looks as if I do the easy work whereas he is the one pulling in all the hard work.
Need advice to justify my work and make others realise it's significance, nuances of area and complexity of it.
Do not expect monetary benefits, just expect credit and recognition for the worth of work I am doing.

Life is just so fucking shitty sometimes

One sentence horror:

"Hey, did you forget to turn off that GPU instance?"

do you know: victoria's secret higher ranking executive from scranton, pa was a lesbian who humped women prostitutes and since has been replaced by one of your pod people.

but the song from this time period about victoria's secret, is kind of funny, since one of the higher level executives was a woman and apparently enjoyed young women in lingerie as much as men do :P