uhhh wtf i've slept 9 solid hours

this hasn't happened to me in like 6 years

I may have found the perfect drug cocktail for my brain inflammation, which incidentally works for my lifelong curse of insomnia I guess

my pupils are back to being big when I get these drugs right and I am so not used to being assaulted by my brain at all times. that's how my life used to be before I got sick. it's like smart person syndrome. I cease to see the actual world and just see 95% the associations of it in front of me... honestly I kind of liked seeing the actual physical world. isn't that strange? I always felt very weird, and like I was ADHD. problem is I think by hallucinating / through high imagination so I can't see what's in front of me and sort of "get lost" lol

and the other day I rejected someone because all my brain context loaded up some other activity so I didn't want to switch to their activity. that used to happen to me before my brain got empty. I feel so mean when I do that

how do I drive this thing

I keep thinking back to that drill thing that the Americans believe in

"if you wait to feel to do it you'll never do it"

and I was curious about that advice. maybe it's right. but now that I'm sick and have brain issues I know that there's no point in doing anything unless you have your health. everything I spent years nerding out about just fell out of my brain. your health is the multiplier to everything else. the bedrock that makes everything else possible. everything you learn is only maintained if you're healthy, and you lose it all if that health ever fails you. what happened to me

and low-mood is often the symptom of brain issues cropping in; inflammation, a failing immune system. so I think I should've taken note of that instead of powering through things not thinking twice about it

python libraries don't belong in Linux

idk where this stupid python-futures library came from but it just broke all the stupid python-only libraries I got. unfortunately no alternatives to them. evidently if I just remove python-futures and reinstall everything it broke it all works. bruh please

God I hate python

it's also very inefficient and these libraries take up so much CPU for no reason. they don't even do much but idle too high. python. not even once.

if human ingenuity is what gives humans value

and you get sick with dementia and can't think anymore

do you, as a human, have any value anymore?

TV show logic:

lying is bad, makes you a conmam, fraudster, charlatan, bad mother that's in and out of jail

unless you're the manager. then nobody questions it, and instead praises you for how well you "manage" people, makes you a good mother because you can tell child or grown up children exactly what they want to hear to get them to do the activity you want them to do... but now it's a virtue for no reason whatsoever

😒

TIL even Solana is switching from rust to C for performance reasons

whoopsie

I hate that I can't enjoy anything

it's like I'm cursed

i have this Cassandra's curse thing. the same way where I tell where what the future of their actions will be, but also just generally I'm not understandable by others when I say things or try to explain some higher level topics that are not 100% boring sequential facts

what I'm finding, annoyingly, is I can just say what I'm saying to the AI and then it will write 5 paragraphs explaining what I mean... and then I post it to the person and they understand it

-.-

why is it like this. why do I need this. I mean yay, I can be understood now I guess, but it's also so annoying. WHY AM I NOT UNDERSTOOD JUST BY MYSELF RAGH. I also can't believe people understand the over verbose things AI spits out. I find it annoying

> made tea 3 hours ago in a thermos
> got distracted by stuff
> tea still warm

it's the little things in life

if someone in the group blames you for something, do you "accept responsibility" even if you didn't do the thing?

why or why not?

urgh the nebulous decision between how fast you want a processing script to run vs how many computer resources you want it to use

apparently the ability to want to try something new is creativity...

the what. that bar seems too low?

can't beat human

TFW someone insults and demeans you repeatedly but keeps picking up habits and aesthetic and making decisions that copy yours...

???

He met with temporary defeat more than 10,000 times before wresting this secret from nature

I want to bookmark a set of open tabs in vscode

and then switch between different bookmarks

raagh

do you separate the mechanics and functionality of software from the people in the community?

is there tools you love the functionality of but hate the community of, and vice versa?

were there tools you loved where the community ruined it for you, or tools you hated to use but the community won you over?

companies where you loved the software and hated the people or vice-versa?

what can't not happen?

coding as a strategy to not get in trouble doing other stuff in life 🤔

Ctrl + c not running Drop traits is also annoying

what's the point then, eh

starting to get annoyed at async

works so easy in JavaScript!

and so we welcome our new overlords (sarcasm) and the Idiocracy future

you ever habituate yourself to reflexively do something and then forget you ever did that and don't even notice you're doing it therefore can't turn it off because you're too oblivious to understand the problem

and for amusement what is it?

lesson of alcohol:
it doesn't matter how well you do just do and fix it later, if that even becomes relevant which strangely it somehow doesn't

it's like, full-frontal idiocracy but because you engaged in it you got smarter somehow

I'm slow at doing my sudokus now though so maybe when I recover more I'll figure it out more. think I found ballmer's peak last night and I'm gonna hopefully remember to successful steal this mindset

unfortunately turns out if I even so much as sip a low alcoholic beer my spleen inflames so that fucking sucks, so re-visiting the mindset to make sure I transferred it over to my sober state might end up tricky but hopefully I'll still keep this quest outstanding until the whole thing sorts itself out

why do people want to post controversial / inflammatory things

I remember some users here like to aspire to that. I'm naturally inflammatory, like to such a degree people get aggressive. so what benefits am I getting that I'm not aware of because I have this natural innate ability. why would you aspire for this quality?

rust, where a basic bitch sort (not even the algorithm) takes you over 100 lines

it's just on 5 fields

AI hacking attempts being spotted in the wild because they're too polite

https://someone.elses.computer/@mik...

there's actually a similar vetting process in the crypto industry where you have to swear or you won't get hired. forget why now

this seems optimistic to me because companies generally don't do security. a hacker desperate for money has less money to blow on AI hacking than someone invested in protecting their company would on AI pentesting. poor low level pentesters I guess though

*tries to make something elegant*

*tangles*

???

turns out converting mutexes to mpsc isn't as easy as I thought it would be 😭
also can the AIs stop sucking. they're my only source of information

would the idea that best government does as much as possible at the smallest level be a good design for code =_=

forgot what it was called. AI says localism

it's like being anti-global variables

but it also should get rid of needless architecture obsessions perhaps, because that's central planning government

you still have a coordination problem though?

if the Internet feels like it's evolving fast are you old

it's like the fracturing off random places are now becoming big with their own sub-fractures