been trying to figure out why I can't eat paprika for ages

so turns out there's something called ethoxyquin in it

> quinoline-based antioxidant used as a food preservative
> Ethoxyquin was initially registered as a pesticide in 1965
??? concerning....

> food additive to use only in the spices chili powder, paprika, and ground chili.
... they feed it to salmon and chickens also...

FDA is like, "it's fine", the swiss decided to test fish that ate this stuff:
> loss of weight, changes in liver, kidney, alimentary duct, urinary bladder and mitochondria, anemia, lethargy, discolored urine, skin, or fur, increase in mortality, detrimental effect on immunity, condition factor of final body weight in relation to body length of fish and inducement of allergies (contact exposure)
the europeans:
> found one of its metabolites, ethoxyquin quinone imine, to be possibly genotoxic, and p-phenetidine, an impurity that could be present from the manufacturing process, to be possibly mutagenic

i rather my food was edible for at least a limited amount of time, instead of inedible at all times

I hate being sick. Everything I eat I feel, because everything you can eat is literally poison and I'm "sick enough" that I can feel it so drive myself fucking crazy. I have 2 other paprikas, one doesn't list this as an ingredient and the other has no ingredients list, so I guess let's see if I can actually eat paprika or am going to keep giving myself, I guess, organ damage and possibly cancer

remember kids, some places are banning charcoal because it could cause cancer. Those same places are feeding this to animals and putting them in spices though

stalin was right. You should be paranoid what you're being fed. And starve to death. At least you'll be able to think for a while

tongs are like tongues but without a you

so weird not to have my code crash...

before I'd check it every few hours and reboot if it has crashed

but now I check and it's just churning along

the bug was easy to fix once my brain cleared some

if I figured it out before how could I delete it?!

what if I don't figure it out again?!

who's on top, who's on second

why structs/objects when can tuples everything

wtf I am in shock but also validated

so apparently culture evolves

millennials now are the loser generation because they went to school and got degrees and were good little gremlins that kept their head down and budgeted and did everything right

and now they're like the laughingstock and viewed as more boomer than those boomers jokes we used to make

wiiiild

my mom would pressure me for school and I never agreed to people's 9 to 5 nonsense and the whole thing just felt wrong to me. so all this time I've been avoiding all that and felt "wrong" for society and kept it to myself but now the pervading culture agrees with me. whoa

I did not expect this. I thought culture was static somehow and people never learned. I've never seen culture change their minds en mass so I didn't know this was possible. wild

when your IDE has so much funding and idle hands they make GUI facades over terminal functionalities

but then over time they keep releasing "features" for convenience that entirely make the GUI unusable

what's even the point guys

anti features

what I want is for AI to spot logical inconsistencies in my code and debug it

specifically a complex multi threaded form...

raaghhh

stupid tokio having no damned mutex debug tools

wish there were c/c++-like forums and communities but for rust

such a dead gen z language goddamn

whoops figured out how to make noises in rust

and also what the hell I forgot all the music theory I taught myself and making music is hard

yeah my brain can't do math yet. just counting the frequencies for the notes is exhausting. or timing things. EXHAUSTING. I haven't even got them right I was just doing proof of theory. and I'm exhausted

*goes to die somewhere*

I still can't imagine a programmer genuinely getting something out of writing tests

like are you even writing software you'd use if you're writing tests?

I can't be sure of its buglessness unless I can put the whole thing in my head and rapid bounce ideas at the construct. writing all those out into code would be exhausting / neurotically excessive and ultimately an unmaintainable mess

and otherwise I can't think of any use for tests other than that they can be used to document the specs, which if you're working on your own code and not in a corporate team isn't that big of a problem

every time my brain's functionality perks up even a little bit and I regain some functionality I used to have I literally end up insatiably spiraling through the new abilities and God complex all over the place

if you were a god, what kind of god would you be?

if sulfur makes you alive again r u a demon

and other [REDACTED] behind the veiled curtains of the construct we call reality

what are you not allowed to do?

it's crazy how every week every damned app needs to update

it's like just why

I'm sure your button 3 pixels to the left isn't that important

all these poor auto-updaters running all the time

imagine the carbon we're arbitrarily making like alchemists out of thin air! if only we used this great power to transmutate lead into gold

what do I do with 100% dark chocolate

turns out it's entirely inedible. I can't stomach it

now what

so turns out you don't need to know what the problem is to solve it =-=

what the fuck

I don't think I like this
... and also by solving the problem I have a feeling eventually you'll know what the earlier problem was. this is creeping me out

why is the universe making up these weird rules. I'm getting my worldview shattered

autoformat is good I think

now instead of making the code "look nice" I make the logic of the code look nice and just press autoformat

and you don't have to press all the stupid space characters or decide when to newline chaining functioning or whatever else. just write it dirty and press format

as much as I love how I optimized my JavaScript syntax over the years, it was pretty distracting. it's like I was moving in and nesting or something. urgh why. bikeshedding. I mean yes, it's all nice and cozy, but you also could've done literally anything else with your time

originally I was a fan of autoformat in theory because I had some issues with co-workers fighting over syntax -- like literally one guy would write stuff so bad it was like it was put through an uglifier. he would put keywords in unexpected locations and that language in particular allowed it (interestingly rust doesn't and I frequently can't recall what order the keywords are supposed to go in lol), which if you were debugging his code now you've gotta squint for all those keywords and you're going to be slower because you can't just skim the whole thing. and over there in reddit land people are complaining when people use i and j variables instead lol. he used g and k and they weren't even for loops and that wasn't even the issue 🤣, he wrote like 12 statements per line and condensed 500 statements into 30 and you can't parse a thing and no this wasn't javascript

missing rust's infinite loops in other languages now

also now I don't like variable++ and it throws me off

also missing iterators. because you can consume part of them and don't have to keep track that some of a list has already been "used up" so to speak. now I have index counters and laaame (granted not having to wrestle with borrowing rules... actually just strangely feels weird)

also why must languages have different naming conventions. this is a disaster now because my reflexes for what I name variables is all over the place. now I find snake_case more readable than camelCase because the letters are the same height so you can skim for names easier, and by how many words which correlates to how specific a variable is to the logical loops at hand

I guess end of the day we just develop a handwriting style in code our brains like and the idea of having to change your accent every time you switch a locale sounds annoying

ohno I think I'm finding things rust is easier and better at than JavaScript now that I'm back on javacript

the calamity!

granted I can get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time

but programming

and first slot is office

what if it was dev something but not the energy of complaining

the rate at which the Internet is becoming weird is accelerating

it is about to be monumentally recursively weirder but on a multithreading and transcending basis

https://youtube.com/watch/...
AI is now effecting the collective consciousness of society, whoopsie doopsie, through "old-age" mechanisms humans built like over a decade ago. at some point it'll be able to leverage these mechanisms faster than humans can plug up the holes. just kidding humans are pretty slow and I don't think we even have the chance

I do like the idea of fakeness ending. I've always found it so suffocating. now AI delivers fakeness to the people who like fakeness. they can become their own little bubble until they run out of credits

think I'm starting to get why the c/c++ people are all crazy

I wanted to upgrade something so I wrote it then had to plug in the new version in 7 different crates. cool well after dozens of different file changes I found like 3 bugs and figured hey ok maybe some small edge case bug fixes and now I'm just frustrated because nothing is working and also did I mention I have like 3 deprecated crates but I haven't had a moment to rest to deprecate them fully and remove them and it's all massively annoying me

I keep just rewriting things because it's easier than changing the static typing system everywhere, but no matter what I do I just end up in more changing of the static typing system, repeat

I think I might just end at a non working codebase and lock myself up for 3 days and take some drugs and see what happens until either I pass out from lack of sleep and wake up not caring, someone finds me and takes me away, or I finally have a working product

things can't be done in chunks I guess

cuz if it works in isolation then you stress test it and it works then you plug it into the live system and heyyo look it doesn't because you didn't stress test these edge cases enough and now everything is broken and who wants to revert like 2 hours of stupid secretary work because StATiC TyPe SysTeM. so what my stress tests need to be the live system? and speaking of tests I keep have to go back to older tests and keep updating them every time the damned static type system updates so I don't want more tests

the irony in all this is suddenly for once in my life I had this funny thought of "whoa, remember when people said coding wasn't for them?". I mean if I keep shooting myself in the foot does end up feeling like a me problem. I still think like a damned computer though. literally the thing i've always been best at so I'm just laughing at the ridiculousness

(maybe it's the brain damage, let's be fair to myself)

wanted to watch a horror movie with the bf for a few days and the guy is a narcoleptic. told him I wanted to today but now look at me, I wanna lock myself in a room until I solve my disaster so how am I supposed to enjoy a movie, and do I just ditch what I'm doing and hope I give a shit later or do I blow him off? fuuuuck why

freud was all like, dreams are about your subconscious talking to you

woo-woo circles go further, and it's basically the universe telling you what you need to know. to quote some stoner I met once, "if you dream, you're a shaman"

this morning I had a dream that I was in high school and Oprah Winfry was sitting on some cushions on the floor with her girlfriends. she said she got sick but then took this thing and it amazingly made all her sickness go away, expressing how surprisingly easy it was before her whole group got situated into their official girltalk. I asked her something cryptic and inoffensive (forget now, was deliberately not trying to get political though) and she cold shouldered me, nose up in the air and all her girlfriends followed suite

in the dream then I remembered I had this stuff in my locker and told myself to try it when I get to it

... then I woke up and in reality I bought this thing ages ago and it's in one of my cabinets. ate it and dream Oprah Winfrey maybe was right. message received I guess

now I'm taking medical advice from spirits of my enemies, I guess?

has science gone too far https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/301...

it's like someone invented government bureaucracy for no reason at all https://github.com/Rabbival/...

what am I even reading

turns out avoiding JavaScript makes you live three times as long : https://boehs.org/node/...

it's snowed 😊