I swear low serotonin depression is a superpower

I don't know how but it's always just somehow really awesome for my brain

and before I equally didn't want to get up out of bed so basically no difference between being happy or depressed, functionally!

I think depression makes me think better actually

if you're mentally lazy, just get depressed! BRAIN TREADMILL!

FOIA shmoya

tried to pick some smart dude's brain about my problem cuz I'm just screaming internally being unable to think about it myself and have no ability to write it out in pseudocode without confusing myself or on paper so I need someone to bounce around with this

proceed to have to teach him basics of how computers work...

... realize he's slow at it and that I know a lot

I will take this self-compliment. I might be on a journey of self-compliments now, since he actually wanted to learn to code for a while. not a bad potential reality tunnel actually. I guess this is ok

guess I'll just keep screaming internally about my problem until I birth the requisite neurons automagically. no pain no gain 😭
literally no clue how to think or plan stuff out without having to put the whole thing in my head. always been a problem for me. grrrrr

I asked why the lefties associate pepe with hatespeech and someone sent me this: https://youtube.com/watch/...
I'm somehow more confused

awwww this is cute: https://youtube.com/watch/...

is the world being run by 4chan now
I think it might be

*edits CSS on website with dev console to make it usable*

your website is bad and you should feel bad. Inb4 I setup some kind of persistent script for this website in particular. Probably gonna be a necessary quality of life thing now that nobody can seemingly write any competent software anymore.

I really want an AI that codes like me so I don't have to

tired of asking AI to brainstorm ideas but it keeps solving things stupid

please, get with the program. learn my style. it's better. stop shoving your style at me. neck yourself (I can say this right? it's funny and AI has no necks anyway! dark humor funny 🥺, but illegal merchandise 😔)

*coffee rage*

guess I'll have to use my own brain because it's literally less frustrating than reading its drivel that it keeps messing up despite me saying corrections a billion times. and this is one of the SMARTER AIs. eesh

guys can you make the tools better already. *taps foot*

it's suuuper strange to see the world being run from fucking twitter

Russia huffing and puffing because Biden authorized Ukraine to use USA long range missile into Russian soil, and trump and his new cabinet are discussing how Biden and the Democrats are suicidal and scrambling debating about it all

just sooooo weird

and you just see posts of them like a damned entourage. like some frat house of billionaires traveling around the country to wrestling matches and having breakfast together and the weird story about Elon musk couch surfing on Trump's couch too much and the staff not liking him bossing them around. this is like a teen drama but it's your next government

lmao

are there people that when you hang around them make you better in some way? which way and how?

I just want things to do on my phone that are intellectually going to be stimulating

and not brainwashing

is that so hard to ask for

I can't keep playing sudokus all the time. the other day I wanted to go read a coding answer I asked an AI in my browser on my laptop but I was in bed on a voice chat with a sleeping person and didn't wanna get up out of bed to go fetch the laptop. my browser lets me see tabs I have open on other machines and this AI website makes a url with a unique id so you can browse to the chat you had, but it seems to not always work

earlier in the day I had asked the AI a theoretical coding question and it answered, but I got distracted and needed to go do something before I finished reading it (it was long). but when I was in bed on my phone playing sudokus for intellectual stimulation, annoyed and bored it was the only thing I could do, I had the bright idea of opening the tab on my laptop through my phone. Vivaldi is great and this always works. unfortunately the AI website's unique id thing doesn't. it loaded the website by URL correctly but the AI website just took me to the home page and I had no chat history to read =[

phones are literally computers but you can't do anything on them. can't watch videos without ads or bugs, if you load a lot of websites the tab management system sucks and performance is shit, controls for games suck even if you could find something not ad infested

hell you can't even do a pedometer that's not trying to get you to "log in". bruh

you can't even browse GitHub code! at least last I checked. it's just awkward, their app

I feel like I'm in a straitjacket in terms of technology and I wanna scream. I don't even know how to adequately describe my frustration or what I keep wishing for. it's been prominent in my head a couple years now. it's like we're regressing in terms of compatibility. went from card games provided by Microsoft like solitaire and spider, paint... to Jesus fuck you can't even get paint in a browser now without someone trying to fleece you

remember when things were inventive, nice, and not shit?
I don't even like playing mindustry on a phone to be fair. fighting the controls is most of the experience. so maybe phones are only good for reading things

I just noticed my brain over time doing sudokus learns so I wanted to practice engaging in something and learning as exercise, cuz I think it would be good for the brain damage. bah

if AI is so smart why doesn't it clean its own data, eh?!

Modern technology is absolutely bullshit

I can't even

Now my keyboard on my phone is even too broken to complain about it

I wanted to look at someone's post history on a forum

To do so the forum wants an account. Ok. So I gave it my old junk Hotmail account during sign up for it to send me an email confirm so I can make the account so I can search. Well I'm refreshing this account for this confirm account email through the Gmail app on my phone because who even checks emails on computers anymore

Turns out, aside from this Hotmail spam email account having a lot of junk emails (it is my junk email account), there's this little pop-up that happens SOMETIMES claiming that it can't sync. I checked inbox and spam and the email isn't in there. So 1 out of 10 times I refresh there's this little "cannot sync" message that pops up and I click it. It claims my storage on my phone is too full to sync. Ok.

So I go try to find storage through the settings in my phone. It doesn't exist as a category anymore apparently. Thankfully phones have a search feature now -- because we can't have sane settings anymore so here's a search feature. First result it gives me is just device info. That's useless. It's just the hardware specs for my phone

Second it shows storage. 90% full apparently. That's odd. I have 132 gb. Thankfully it subdivided it by what's taking up space but it doesn't make much sense and a bunch of the categories don't open to anything

Apparently the fucking android operating system is 32 GB now? Well you're fucked if you wanna remove that. Apparently years of photos and videos is 20 gb, I can back those up and delete them. Similarly I have downloads in folders, and that's about 20 gb

Why are there 20 GB of apps? I literally have no apps!

Part of apps? Wtf is Gboard and why is it a gig

Why is my WEATHER APP using a gig of storage?

And none of the apps can I remove the storage they're using. The cache is like 600kb, and I can delete all data and it's using like 60 MB. So the fucking weather app executable itself is a gig of space? Wtf?

I deleted the data for Gboard and turns out that's the keyboard. So now all my keyboard settings are fucked.

Thankfully I wrote syncing scripts ages ago to sync various folders from my phone to my external HDD. I just had to connect it to the laptop and run the script on the external HDD. Problem? Well turns out no matter what I do I can't get the laptop to connect to the phone if it's USB file transfer mode. I can do photos. But this is gonna be more than photos.

So I do my sync backup script from the laptop to the external HDD. This will sync the camera, since I have sync thing sync my laptop and phone all the time, so I can just sync the laptop to the external HDD and then delete the older photos and get 20gb. Quick fix for now

Why do I need this quick fix?
Well
Get this
I've been having issues with my Gmail client for ages. It just won't display new email notifications which is really annoying because I need to know when emails get sent to me.
Now I'm thinking, maybe I can de-sync older emails and have more storage space maybe? But that's not an option anywhere. Actually, I can't even unconnect an email address from my phone. Gmail doesn't even let you do that

What the flying fuck is the state of modern technology

Now I have to go figure out what my fucking settings were for my stupid phone keyboard

The 90s were much fucking saner than this garbage. I don't need a 32 GB operating system on a phone. Is this fucking windows 8? And let me fucking tell YOU how many fucking emails you should sync to my phone. Holy shit what the fuck is all this

At least my Linux scripts fucking work like I wrote them

don't hack hungry, guys

ping REST API that is written in rust

it has specs. it will return json with result or error in it.

it's just returning result: null and no error

this is written in rust. how are you writing me responses with null objects in them? rust doesn't have null! how broken is this thing.

SAFE

I've unwrapped my errors where they happen and removed all the retarded Result returns that "should never happen" and I'm so much happier for it

if it has an error it's an issue with my library and it should crash

the hell kind of backup plan would there even be? I can't do anything. do I have backup libraries? no. well then I just simply NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING IS BROKEN how about that at the very least

why do I keep trying to acquiescence to the advice of neurotics. all it ever does is drive me crazy

that feel when you feel miserable, so you, who hasn't had coffee in like a month, want to make coffee at 9 pm

I'm sure that'll go well

for a language obsessed about errors, rust sure sucks at its stacktraces so I can know what gave the error

like finding a needle in a haystack. well fuck if I know what throws this thing. all things I know that can make this error type should be self-contained -- so where you getting this error from?!

can people stop sending me giveaways and shit

it's gambling. fuck off.

my life is not better by getting this nonsense. always gives me anxiety because it hits me with the math of doom. how is this ethical in any way. every regular non-sus shop does this now. it's pervaded every damned business and it's disgusting. makes me depressed for the world

and ofc everyone's favourite daddy government just lets this happen. gambling is bad if we vilify the person, but otherwise it's fine. hell, then government ITSELF told people they could WIN A MILLION DOLLARS if they got the covid shot here. fucked up. chance to die and bigger chance to maim yourself irreparably forever, maybe you'll literally win the lottery though, see we partnered up with the local lottery company. isn't government so great?!

it was me

I caused the data bug

joy!

I hate debugging code when I'm reasonably sure the bug didn't come from me. so demotivating. also when it has to do with the data and I don't have easy access to the data to debug what went wrong. I was just expecting it to work!

the architecture in my dreams is like LLMs tried to figure out human housing

in JavaScript I would just call something what it is and then keep changing the data type as I get more data to add to it because you can

in rust because it's not dynamic types but static and everything is a static struct I need to find like 9 different names for all the different intermediary data types and holy shit I don't understand what to name everything and this is annoying me

I never understood why people complained about naming problems. I found it fun. now I hate it.

stats object. cool. well it converts an address to stats. an address has swaps. each swap was done on a mint. so I guess I make a MintStats object? wrong. because that's confusing.

swaps -> swaps divided by the mint they belong in -> stats for each mint swap set -> then you can add all the mint swap set stats to the address stats object

now what the fuck do you call all these

there's also something I called a MintAttitude and it's an enum. these types just keep growing out of trees. fuk. I don't like long names either. I should probably just call it Attitude but call it via mint::Attitude and get the same clarity result with far less redundancy (which I hate, another annoying thing)

swaps -> ??? mint history? -> MintStats -> then I have a "MintData" that has the history and stats wrapped in it -> MintsData that has many mints and their MintData -> then I can convert MintsData into AddressStats but what and I hate this and also I have a Mint object that does something totally different elsewhere. I hate this. data isn't even descriptive but to call something history when it also has stats seems imprecise.

brain spaghetti. classification part of my brain is shit. no historical training / experience either. I just see everything like vague blobs. bah. naming required clear delineations which is hard enough on its own to get used to

dark chocolate is so good. I'm addicted and keep eating so much of it every day of late

is there foods you find extremely pleasurable to eat?

think JavaScript might actually be genius...

cuz it's like you build all code with a quanta: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

and you just have to know how a quanta works

and you can build the whole universe from that

there's so much brilliance in simplicity

kind of feeling like rust is like java where there's too many abstractions you have to memorize and they could've been better represented with just one type that you could do everything with. like I can't see rust ever being as flexible as JavaScript. JavaScript feels like you're totally free to be as creative as you want and you don't even have to think about the layer you're skating on. the layer is always made up of one piece, and this one piece always follows the same physics, and you just chain it together to make everything you could ever imagine. so fast. so easy

if someone were to have your back in a life-threatening situation, would you feel awkward about it or like you don't deserve it?

political memes are in vogue I heard

what if Terry Davis made HolyC and TempleOS knowing the globalists were taking orders from demons and knew they were gonna build a technological surveillance state and an alternative operating system had to be built or we would all either become coerced slaves or have to revert back before the technological age

what does your manager get impressed by, care about? if you were to flex what sorts of things would you flex to them?

is there someone that makes decisions over your life that isn't necessarily the manager, and what would they be impressed by or care about if one were to flex it in front of them?

do people not understand achievements unless you brag about them =-=

been asking AI on different examples of flexing and all of them sound like vapid LinkedIn posts

"just asked AI a question that's been bugging me for hours! it's such a nothing to have no answers still! 🎉"

one of my favourite examples: "accidentally set my kitchen on fire while trying to impress my friends with my cooking skills. but hey, I now know how to order takeout like a pro. win?"
lol what

I now wonder if I'm depressed cuz graduating school or finishing projects or... uhh ordering food? just sounds stupid to me

rewrote my code from hashset to hashmap. actually kind of re-organized some data types. brain is fog because fuck you. but everything ran so I guess rust thinks it's ok. I'm just annoyed by all that though cuz I just wish I didn't have to do it in the first place

TF is there to brag about

also if you brag about anything good everyone just wants to steal it from you

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF BRAGGING

tools doing things you didn't ask them to is intuitive. Your're just a dinosaur, Harry. Get with the times

speaking of crypto scams