examiner :- how would you write a c program to prevent Titanic from sinking?

me :- float Titanic;

OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"

It's truly amazing how much a single line of perl can do. Such a time saver.

I only wish that I could understand what it does two days later.

Yesterday I completed a transactions module that used an external payment processor, similar to PayPal. It was hard, but after few hours of trying out different options I finally managed to get it to work.

I decided to create a simple prototype UI without any styling just to show my progress to the manager and let him know that it's working.

His response? "yeah, that seems to work, but that UI is terrible and not appealing at all. Change that immediately and try to add more thought into your design"

I guess I won't be making prototypes any time soon

The five stages of debugging:

while(apocalypses)
{
if(today.getDayOfYear == 256)
{
programmers.congratulate();
programmersDay.celebrate();
}
}

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

another day, another missing semicolon

I need a big steel bat to hit sales men with when they come to my desk asking for updates

When you have all the keys of the hash map, but you don't have the key to her heart.

IDE battle--- what is everyone using?

My main languages are- C# - laravel - node/angular - HTML/ CSS. And use git / aws.

I have used the following- and like / hate them all. :) but I want to see what others are using and opinions on them.

Visual studio- bla...
Sublime 2 & 3
Atom
Coda(s) 2 - 2.5
Phpstorm
IntelliJ
TeamCity
Mono develop
Eclipse

It might work