PM finds my prized stress ball and draws a face on it. When asked why she said "it looked depressed".

THATS THE LOGO YOU DUMB BITCH. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT

On the bright side... Good thing I have this stress ball to relieve my anger 😒

My boss likes to measure the spacing between DOM elements using a ruler to make sure everything is proportional.

I forgot to remove some padding on an element so it wasn't exactly centered, so he comes in and says...

"the padding on the site is off, I think you need to use this" *drops ruler on desk*

Now I have to keep this stupid ruler on my desk because whenever I forget to align something he says... "that's why I gave you the ruler"

Too difficult to explain to these subhumans that I don't need a ruler to write proper css

(regarding a discussion with a female programmer about an event)

Me: ... But Id feel so out of place, I don't even have a date

Female: well you can always just import a date

Me: what do you mean? 😕

Female: import Java.util.Date;

I really should find a better use for my notebook

"congratulations son, you are now a certified virgin"

Hilarious dad 😑😢

Changed width:600px to width:500px

git commit - m "optimized responsivity for enhanced mobile experience"

Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!

Even though that's all true...

Whenever I'm stressed out on a bug or what not...

I find some of my best ideas have come from sitting on the toilet

My coworker is a serious brogrammer

When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...

Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"

Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩