Someone put my name on a mailing list for pornographic material to try to get me fired from my new job

I'll figure it out...

...eventually

Fucking recruiters. When you say "multiple languages" and I ask for clarification, saying "multiple languages and you need to know object oriented design" again doesn't clarify things one bit

Am I the only dev that doesn't wear headphones? Being unaware of my surroundings makes me more anxious than it's worth

Interviewer asked me to design the Energizer Bunny. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. Apparently that was the right answer.

Comments? Ain't nobody got time for those

Halfway through a timed midterm (no computers or calculators):

Convert this 5-digit decimal number to binary
Convert this 10-digit decimal number to binary
Convert this 20-digit decimal number to binary
Convert this even longer decimal number to binary

My boss just told me he likes copying and pasting because "it's easier to maintain"

How my boss uses git:
1. Clone repo into separate folder
2. Run WinMerge against his version
3. Manually update his version with changes

If only there were some sort of function to determine if a value was in an array

"I'm using a really long switch, because I'm old-school and just use what I know, because I don't have time to look up fancy functions like str_pad"

Instead of using 2 dimensional arrays to represent tables, my supervisor implodes the arrays on a delimiter before loading them into the other arrays... then explodes them again when he needs to use them.

Why? "It's easier"

I've been in far too many "we're downsizing, so you won't be seeing some of your colleagues anymore" meetings. It's depressing.

When you answer a question on stack overflow and the person who asks it changes the question and (presumably is the one who) downvotes your answer

Wrote some macros for Excel to make my job easier and decided I'd rather only do that part of my job, so I went back to school to learn to code for reals

Configuring apache is so fucking repetitive and inefficient. No for loops. No arrays. Just repeating damn near the same lines over and over and over again.
Oh you want to listen to 20 ports? I hope you like copying and pasting.

Microsoft Office for iOS

Look who found a friend!

My predecessor used auth as a bool. The only way he kept basic users from accessing admin functions was by including the word "admin" or "user" in the URL so any user could be the administrator by just changing the URL parameters after logging in

For example, mysite.com/admin/editorderdetails vs. mysite.com/user/editorderdetails

Best part of being a dev: the thrill of watching the project slowly come together

It's almost time to go home, but I'm on a roll and don't want to leave

Does anyone else read !important as not important?

A few months ago: "please lock down the app so clients can't upload new images once an order is in progress"

This morning: "why can't the client attach more images when they ask to revise an order?"

Company website had some video playlists that weren't working, because the javascript required to run them was interacting with some of squarespace's scripts, so I dropped the video players in iframes and haven't looked back

I know nothing about PCI compliance or ecommerce, but guess what I've been tasked with creating!

Bought a game for 90% off during a Steam sale. I guess you get what you pay for.

It's 4:30 on Friday. Did I just push changes to the live server? Yes, yes I did.

I cannot figure out for the life of me why my predecessors decided to make our api take xml and only xml as an input

trying to rediscover specific pieces of tribal knowledge with no documentation and no starting point...

guess I'll just start grepping servers until I find a clue

over Skype with my mother
"I've been busy lately because I'm going back to school again"
"What are you studying?"
"Programming and web development"
"Okay"