When I saw this code, it is like using 2 pair of chopsticks to eat...

Me: can you open bracket?

Coworker: open atom and put an open bracket there

Me: ...

When a programmer gets a hangover

"I am going to get a new shirt()"

"That shirt is #ffffff"

"Do remember to #include<studio.h> this item in your to-do list"

Where can you find a drunked programmer?

You can find them at foo bar

Old boss: Can you tell me why we need to purchase Mac?

Me: Because we are all using Mac in HK and UK offices and we can share the company license

Old boss: Why can't we just purchase the software license in Windows?

Me: Because it is expensive, and the total cost will be much more than purchasing the Mac alone

Old boss: I still don't understand why we need to purchase Mac.

Me: Ok. (Walked away with approval form. Finally got the approval from UK office)

My old boss was the only person that using Windows!!

Stickers travelled a long way to HK. Thanks @dfox!

My mom: "My iPad is broken because I deleted by Goggle account"

Me: "Are you actually using Android tablet? How the hell that you deleted your Google account affects your iPad?"

My mom: "No, I definitely using iPad, and now I can't Goggle. And I don't remember my Goggle account. Can you come and help me to fix it?"

Me: "There is no way to fix it, if you don't remember anything about your "Goggle" account. But I will come and see what happen to your iPad later."

I am working on a boring project. At the beginning, I wanna create some fun on it, so I decided to write a simple game.........And some time later, I found myself on devrant instead.

One time I got a Skype interview and the interviewer asked me to complete all the coding questions (rewrite in actual code) and email the answers to them within 10mins.

But when I open the question sheet, I found that all questions contain pseudo answer, so I ended up rewriting them on specific coding language, which was easy.

After I finished all the questions and sent the answer back to the interviewer and she told me this test wasn't testing my skill level on that specific coding language but honesty.

When I wrote count++ in Python and got syntax error. Darn!!! I just applied Java and C syntax again!

Coworker: Oh, I couldn't find my Excel file, can you help me to find it?
Me: What is your file name?
Coworker: The file created long time ago, I forgot my file name. But I open it yesterday.
Me: Ok, let's check open recent. (It's surprisingly empty)
Coworker: Yeah, I cleared it just before you arrived. I thought clearing the recent item, will show older items.
Me: ...Ok, let's do a search on all Excel items, which drive did you save your file?
Coworker: I don't remember.
Me: (After search) There are 1000 Excel files. You can start from eliminating the items you remember and ultimately you will find your file. That's all I can help.
Coworker: @x$(/"! ?!

There always a forgetful coworker around me that thinks I am a magician.

When you heard your friend wants to recruit someone who can master R, Rails and Swift at the same time....

When you come across the generated script of a H5 banner from client's production house, you are tempted to rewrite the whole thing instead of fixing the bug.

If you really decided to fix it, in the end you found out you spent nearly 100x more time on this piece of shit, and that makes you feel really bad.

When your client still need your work to be tested in IE7....next, should I ask whether I need to test it in Netscape?

When you found out your coworker is using a nodejs server with php code