It's end of the year and it's time for that Performance Review again. I need to submit my self-appraisal. How would you guys highlight your achievements? My manager is someone who only cares about meeting deadlines, and doesn't give a fuck whether you improved the API performance by 100%.

Meetings are exhausting. My manager forces us to attend meetings which consumes 60% of my day. One day, he sent a meeting invite and the agenda was to talk about meetings. So it was a meeting about meetings. Meeting-ception 🤯

No one among my teammates are testing their code.

Our stand-up meetings last for 1 hour. Everybody talks for 5+ minutes so they will seem look "productive" in front of the managers.

Me: *gives 8 story points*
PO: Why is it 8 points? this is just copy-pasting and should not take more than 2 hours.

My team's "Scrum" daily stand-up meeting lasts for 1 hour. We spend the first 30 minutes listening to the Product Owner's "updates"

My tech lead (or senior). I had been unmotivated with my dev life until I joined their team. He lit the fire in me by inspiring me and challenging me with my work. Sadly he left the team after 3 months but I'm thankful because he saved me from burn out.

Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.

I need an advice!
I'm a back-end dev with 5yrs of experience.

Our team initially started with 7 back-end engineers, and 1 developer was acting as the "tech lead". I was happy as an individual contributor and I enjoyed it a lot. I learned a lot of things.

After 1 year, our team got downsized. All other BE devs got replaced by 2 new engineers - one with 7 yrs of experience who fckin doesn't even know how to google and drop a constraint in DB, and another with "13 years" of experience who's a credit-grabber and all talk.

Now here's my problem. I feel that I've been "unofficially" given the role of a lead developer - the one who needs to lead code reviews, mentor others, decide on the higher level design, chase people for deployment approvals, managing 3rd-party dependencies, and forced to become the "coordinator".

This stresses me and burns me out. I just want the peace of becoming an individual contributor.

What can I do at this point?

My company's logic:

If your account gets locked, you need to raise a ticket using the company portal. In order to access the portal, you need to enter your credentials.

"Senior developer" blaming me because he's not able to remember the codes anymore because I refactored it.

GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU WERE THE CODE REVIEWER

Searching in Youtube "Upcoming Phones 2020" gives me "Top 10 upcoming phones in India"

*Clicks one english title without the word "India"

*Hears voice over in Hindi.

why oh why.

I know that the company is a big factor, but in general, who gets better work-life balance? Front-end developers or Back-end developers?

Working in a bank, using MIcrosoft platform:

To open my email, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open my email using phone, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open Teams, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open Teams using phone, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To access Microsoft Azure, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To git pull/push, I need to enter my sms OTP.

To check UAT logs, I need to enter my sms OTP.

To get access to UAT DB, I need to connect to VPN, which then asks for OTP.

Did I also mention that I need to do these OTPs every single fucking day?

#OTPDrivenDevelopment

I have an interface implemented by 11 classes, coz u kno, it's "SOLID". But today i felt my life is a lie when a developer refactored my code and deleted all those classes and placed them in a Utils class with static methods, and slapped me with "Let's make it simple".

Soooo it's the first day of sprint. I have tasks A, B and C.
Here's my manager again telling me:

"It's just A ,why are you taking time."
"It's just B ,why are you taking time."
"It's just C ,why are you taking time."

Yayyyyyy tonight we have a production release, and right now I'm still doing last minute coding 🤗

I'm someone who' s productive so I get things done earlier than expected, so then I get time to rest. However, when the managers see me resting, they always think that I'm "not doing my job" or "idle" or "doing nothing" so they always ask me "what are you doing?" or "you've got things to do?".
From now on I will just pretend that every f*cking easy task is worth 1 week to do.

Saw my colleague debugging. He's got a try-catch, then I asked, "Why aren't you logging the stack trace?". He answered, "I don't cause it will be a security risk". So there he was having a hard time debugging.🤯
Can you guys confirm if what he said is true?

We have a production release tomorrow and we didn't have any kind of testing other than the unit tests we wrote. 💣💥🤯🎆

Catching a NullPointerException so that it can cause another NullPointerException to the caller. 🤯

So we had a sprint review earlier. There were like 20 bosses who attended, head of this, head of that. We spent 5 mins to demo our application, and another 55 minutes discussing the "delivery date" 🤯

boss: I sent you a wsdl file.

me: I saw it. But you sent me a json for a rest api request.

boss: You want me to teach you what a wsdl is?

Got a colleague here who is very competitive. If I say that "I've got 90% test coverage", he'd say he's got 95. If I solve something and share it to him, he'd go to the boss and tell that he's the one who solved it. 😳

That guy who comments about everything, even the scratches on my laptop.

Our "boss" asked us to go to office on Saturday to work on something that is not part of the current sprint, but planned to be done next sprint, because we are
A g i l e

A new team member joined us today. After introduction, he grabbed a chair. F*** YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR FIRST DAY BUT YOU'D GRAB KATE'S CHAIR WHO JUST TOOK A COFFEE BREAK?! PET PEEVES I HATE CHAIR GRABBERS

I hate it whenever I'm joining a new company/client. It takes them days to provide me access card so I need to f*ckin knock on the door everytime I come back from pooping.

New client, new project. Lol, there are more managers than programmers.

I remember my college days, i had a subject about OOP. Damn, the professor only talked about how to make a f*cking TextBox and Buttons in VB.NET and we finished the course without hearing anything about OOP.