Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Why don't we call infinite loops "Groundhog cycles"?

Client: I love the site and will sign your contract today. I'll even give you a bonus since you got it done early. Can you put it up there this evening?

Me: I'm so glad that you liked it. I'll bring a condom with me all filled out and ready to go so we can push it up there.

Me: Contract. Damned phone

Client: please leave the condom at home

What's your worst autocorrect with a client?

- git commit -m "well described comment explaining addition"

oh crap forgot to take out this one thing

- ctrl-S
- git commit -m "ahskdbejjeebdosjeb"

DFS Algorithm

When she is really mad at me, she stashes me..
but eventually apply(ies) me back 😍❤

It's my birthday and I just got enough upvotes for some stickers.

We need rubber ducks now devRant.

friend told me about Rant...
was love at first sight!

#iwantthesestickers

Just got back from vacation...

git pull

How much trouble would you be if your boss finds out your username?

My first post, and It's about Silicon Valley. I think this is a documentary and not a comedy show:)

you know shit got serious when you create your own stackoverflow account and post your issue.

I currently work in a php shop where 90% of the devs don't know composer. #drupalFTW

Getting up at 3 in the morning to be at the office for a 4 am go-live "in case something goes wrong"

We'll just put the Git repository in Dropbox. That way we have two version controls!

Am I really a Software Developer or am I just really good looking up stuff on Google?

When you spend hours figuring out where the bug is, with no luck, and then you wake up in the middle of the night knowing exactly what and how to fix...

Well that's right!

When you try sending a mail campaign to btinternet users.

User, Y U NO USE GMAIL?

When you get blinded by a white browser page after staring only at your dark themed IDE and black command line for the past 4 hours

*Arrives at office* First and only thought is : "caffeine—immediately"

IE6 sucks