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Search - "autocorrect"
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Client: I love the site and will sign your contract today. I'll even give you a bonus since you got it done early. Can you put it up there this evening?
Me: I'm so glad that you liked it. I'll bring a condom with me all filled out and ready to go so we can push it up there.
Me: Contract. Damned phone
Client: please leave the condom at home
What's your worst autocorrect with a client?15 -
Web devs are like autocorrect:
- You're needed but never told you are
- You're great at your job, but everyone complains about your few faults
- You learn more as you work with the client
- You improve little by little every day
- Your buttons are pushed a lot
- You use new technologies when you can8 -
The Power of Autocorrect
Writing an important update email to a very strict senior manager named Denis, with whom the previous encounters were also uncomfortable.
About to click send, but thought to read it once.
Imagine what autocorrect did...
D became P
I conclude it was a lucky day.19 -
My phone autocorrect "Netbeans" to "Jetbrains". Was frustrating on the moment, but in the end I feel okay with that8
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Accidentally proposing to your colleagues when autocorrect corrects mariadb to married and you end up with:
"As long as we can get married on it, it's fine"
Instead of
"As long as we can get mariadb on it, it's fine"3 -
PSA: Read your mails before sending them, because some shitty versions of autocorrect like to translate "docs" into "dicks".5
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German autocorrect always changes "git" to "gut" (good). Lead to some funny moments. (Translation) "Clone the good stuff" or "There is nothing better then gut"6
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What the hell @Apple
I know autocorrect / suggestions is getting worse every day but this doesn’t even remotely come close ☠️2 -
I GOT A PROPER DEV ROLE!!
The days of bemoaning the quality of devs on a product and logging tickets that never get addressed are coming to an end!
Edited: autocorrect changed it to "loving", somewhat optimistically7 -
Grammarly just found and corrected an embarrassing mistake in a legal document...
My typo was "onimated"...
Googles spelling and grammar changed it to "dominated"...
Grammarly figured out it should have been "nominated".3 -
You know you're a programmer when you type git instead of gut (good in German) and autocorrect thinks it's ok...9
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Story time!
About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.
I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
I smiled.
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."
I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.
Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.
Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!5 -
Today’s achievement: my phone didn’t autocorrect ‘fucking’ to ‘ducking’.
Clearly it’s as pissed off as I am about receiving shitty emails from the other team manager in my dept giving me and my team work to do and throwing us under the bus when he does jack shit all day except read BBC news and go on Facebook. On the odd occasion he does actually do work, it’s not good work, it’s riddled with bugs because he’s ‘too senior to need a code peer review’. Such a fucktard...
Oh, and the work he’s asked us to do technically sits in his team so I’ll be firing that straight back at him 😁
I’m all for being a team player and helping each other but I’m going to protect my team over helping someone. The gloves are about to come off....3 -
Lemon juice
Water
Vodka
Limoncello
Splash of gin (I used Bombay)
Sugar/replacement to taste
Ice
Tastes like traditional lemonade, but this one is a great remedy for burnout/reality.
Highly recommend!random without her effort i couldn’t type hard lemonade done right alcohol helps i’d like to thank autocorrect for this post reality rehab root drinks again root has a reality problem6 -
You know how I know DevRant is full of real devs? Your spelling and grammar is absolutely atrocious. Seriously, you've got autocorrect, just use it.16
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Iphone autocorrect is truly revolutionary. I truly need these super common words to constantly be changed to complete nonsense.
"in" to "inn"
"an" to "available"
"do" to "doo" or "dou"
"and" to "abs", "ABCs"
Many, many others.
It took over 20 corrections to complete this simple thought.
Soft locks several times a week so I have to hard restart it in the middle of doing things.
$3500 for a VR headset? Where do I sign up?9 -
Hardest part about studying for itil is idgaff. I want to start CISSP and CCNA. Also, someone is in "my" spot in the library, so I'm thrown off22
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Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE
I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE
So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.
Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies6 -
Fuck why is there no dedicated button to turn autocorrect on and off, that would be so useful, because I actually typo a lot on mobile, but the learning of it is trash, so for basic devrant stuff it's fine, but anywhere else it doesnt know what to do14
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Fuck you, autocorrect.
If I type the same thing, the exact god damn same cunting thing, multiple times will you just fucking accept that I am actually intending to write that word and move on?!
You fucking cunt!1 -
Any possibility of adding an edit button to devrant? It's sad to a s
Good rant/comment ruined by typos and autocorrect fails.3 -
Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE
if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!
(feature now disabled)3 -
I swear, 90% of the times I edit a message after posting, I'm turning "your" to "you're" and the other way around.
Occasionally have to edit typos that autocorrect has adapted to for some reason.1 -
I hate the new android update. Cause my phone is even more Google, than it was before. Since I like some services they offer I wouldn't complain. But they are going way to far... For instance I now have a Google keyboard and it is actually pretty good in suggesting words, but sometimes it just autocorrects my text and swaps words I wrote.
Like:
'Hey, you don't know as good what you wanted to write as I do. Let me correct that for you!'
Just let me type my own thoughts, you smart bitch of a software. And also fuck you.5 -
The moment when your phone tries to correct "got" or "get" into "git", then you've been working too much...3
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OMG @dfox! Thank you for adding the modify! I can finally fix that pesky autocorrect from 3 months ago
Haha jk, 5 minute rule. Can't Heil Hitler all my posts... -
Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.
Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."
I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.
Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?13 -
iOS is rotting my soul.
I've been a user of iPhone for 6 years now. For the first couple years, I wasnt really mindful of software I use, or I guess I didnt really care. As long as it did the bare minimum, I.e. bank app, call, text, browse, watch youtube vids, I didnt really care. However, in the last couple years, ive become very interested in tech and have worked on small developer projects, spent a lot of time coding in my free time, found really inspiring software and apps on my regular computer that just blow my mind on how advanced they are, and how I, some dumb guy with internet access, can just download it on my PC and use it.
This led me into a kind of software honeymoon phase, where I created a shiny new Github account and started exploring what other cool tools are just out there, available to me for free. My software honeymoon was spent on the beaches and resorts of the open-source software ecosystem. Exploring the gem-bearing caves and beautiful forests of anything from free open-source OCR programs(I needed it to convert my dads manuscript from scanned PDF .jpeg's to actual UTF8 text) to open-source RGB lighting/keymapping software to escape the memory-and-CPU-hungry(and most likely advertising-ID-interested) proprietary software that comes with the brand of mouse/keyboard/controller/etc.
It was like I was a kid exploring Disneyland for the first time or something. But then... then... I got off my computer. Picked up my phone to check notifications. Ew, tinder is blowing up notification center with marketing shit. I go to settings. Notification settings. Tinder's at the bottom so I just want to use a search bar instead of scrolling. There's no search bar. Minor inconvenience. Dark mode isnt dark enough for me. I guess thats just too damn bad, because for the next two hours, I'll have to figure it out by messing with accessibility settings. Time for bed, and I'm just getting plum tired of having to turn on my alarms every night for work the next morning. So I used the 'Automations' app to do it for me. For the next two weeks, at the time specified, 'There was an error running your automation' until I just delete the automation. Browsing through the FaceID settings, I see 'Attention Aware Features'. Cool, maybe now my phone won't automatically dim the screen when im in the middle of reading notifications on my lock screen. Haha, nope still does it. After turning on my alarms, I go to sleep. I wake up an hour late for work because those handy 'Attention Aware Features' silenced my alarm immediately because I fell asleep watching a youtube video.
I could go on and on. Its actually making me feel depressed typing this on my phone, fighting with Apple's primitive autocorrect and annoying implementation of Swype to type.4 -
2009: "this Autocorrect feature will guess all your mistakes and correct them."
2019: *has to guess what autocorrect might messed everywhere* -
You know you're talking about something too much when your keyboard will autocorrect 'fucking' with 'fuchsia' .-.4
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Anyone know a good android keyboard for people who don't want any autocorrect?
Gboard has an empty top row wasting screen space if you disable suggestions. AnySoftKeyboard seems pretty slow. At the moment I'm using Chrooma, but its backspace has really annoying bugs.
What I'd really love would be a keyboard with macro functionality and where you could configure your own layout. But I guess that doesn't exist :/16 -
Asked Google about joining two collections in backbonejs.
Google autocorrect changed to Backbone Joint Pain.
sigh!!1 -
When you new to devrant (and your autocorrect keeps changing it to servant) and you don't know how to edit your first post (add more tags)4
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Is it just me that think it's hilarious that 'devops' autocorrects to Devils – with a capital D an all?
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Who the hell came up with the idea of an autocorrect feature within an simple editor?!
(At least you can turn it off)3 -
Fucking Browser autocorrect!
You type the same address a hundred times, every time hoping it’ll guess the address after the first.... second..... third.... character. No, it shows you a similarly named site that you went on months ago. End up having to type most of the domain name before it catches it.
Then, one day, you hastily mis-spell the address and press enter, now autocorrect keeps fucking directing you to there!!8 -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
Arrgh. The web interface for DevRant sucks, so I post using my phone.
Why do I always notice the auto-correct generated mistakes after it's too late to fix them?
Why is there a time limit to edit my posts?2 -
Reading documentation for 3rd party software... come across a code snippet which references a class. The class is spelt correctly in the comment but wrong in the code!
What??? Surely if you're going to get it wrong it would be the other way round :/ -
Am I the only one that is very neutral while learning a new language or framework or whatever it may be? Like cause you have to go through the basics and you’re basically stuck copying what the tutorial, book, video, whatever source tells you to do and the best you can FUCKING do is change a few things. I love learning new stuff don’t get me wrong I love adding tools to my arsenal.
I just don’t know what else I could try to do because it’s new ground but I want to acknowledge I’m learning it by making my own small basic program with what I’ve been showed but there’s not enough to do different stuff and I have to go back to the tutorials and copying and I feel like I’m learning NOTHING it’s just a annoying feeling for me personally idk if anyone feels the same. Am I crazy? Or am I just doing something wrong?
Also to clarify the all caps “FUCKING” was because my phone changed it to ducking and I wanted to make sure autocorrect knew I meant what I meant.5 -
Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
GBoard (Google Keyboard) is like a ray of sunshine in comparison.
The Samsung keyboard actually changes whole words to completely different words. It even replaces words with misspellings. No, these were not words I had misspelled before. Tried to turn off autocorrect and keep suggestions. They are the SAME setting. Like if you are going to make a shitty ass version of the GBoard, at least keep the same ability to tweak settings.
In contrast I installed GBoard and was able to disable JUST autocorrect and keep suggestions.
Just like most Samsung apps Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
FUCK YOU SAMSUNG!10 -
YGGG IM SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.
Register allocation pretty much done: you can still juggle registers manually if you want, but you don't have to -- declaring a variable and using it as operand instead of a register is implicitly telling the compiler to handle it for you.
Whats more, spilling to stack is done automatically, keeping track of whether a value is or isnt required so its only done when absolutely necessary. And variables are handled differently depending on wheter they are input, output, or both, so we can eliminate making redundant copies in some cases.
Its a thing of beauty, defenestrating the difficult aspects of assembly, while still writting pure assembly... well, for the most part. There's some C-like sugar that's just too convenient for me not to include.
(x,y)=*F arg0,argN. This piece of shit is the distillation of my very profound meditations on fuckerous thoughtlessness, so let me break it down:
- (x,y)=; fuck you in the ass I can return as many values as I want. You dont need the parens if theres only a single return.
- *F args; some may have thought I was dereferencing a pointer but Im calling F and passing it arguments; the asterisk indicates I want to jump to a symbol rather than read its address or the value stored at it.
To the virtual machine, this is three instructions:
- bind x,y; overwrite these values with Fs output.
- pass arg0,argN; setup the damn parameters.
- call F; you know this one, so perform the deed.
Everything else is generated; these are macro-instructions with some logic attached to them, and theres a step in the compilation dedicated to walking the stupid program for the seventh fucking time that handles the expansion and optimization.
So whats left? Ah shit, classes. Disinfect and open wide mother fucker we're doing OOP without a condom.
Now, obviously, we have to sanitize a lot of what OOP stands for. In general, you can consider every textbook shit, so much so that wiping your ass with their pages would defeat the point of wiping your ass.
Lets say, for simplicity, that every program is a data transform (see: computation) broken down into a multitude of classes that represent the layout and quantity of memory required at different steps, plus the operations performed on said memory.
That is most if not all of the paradigm's merit right there. Everything else that I thought to have found use for was in the end nothing but deranged ways of deriving one thing from another. Telling you I want the size of this worth of space is such an act, and is indeed useful; telling you I want to utilize this as base for that when this itself cannot be directly used is theoretically a poorly worded and overly verbose bitch slap.
Plainly, fucktoys and abstract classes are a mistake, autocorrect these fucking misspelled testicle sax.
None of the remaining deeper lore, or rather sleazy fanfiction, that forms the larger cannon of object oriented as taught by my colleagues makes sufficient sense at this level for me to even consider dumping a steaming fat shit down it's execrable throat, and so I will spare you bearing witness to the inevitable forced coprophagia.
This is what we're left with: structures and procedures. Easy as gobblin pie.
Any F taking pointer-to-struc as it's first argument that is declared within the same namespace can be fetched by an instance of the structure in question. The sugar: x ->* F arg0,argN
Where ->* stands for failed abortion. No, the arrow by itself means fetch me a symbol; the asterisk wants to jump there. So fetch and do. We make it work for all symbols just to be dicks about it.
Anyway, invoking anything like this passes the caller to the callee. If you use the name of the struc rather than a pointer, you get it as a string. Because fuck you, I like Perl.
What else is there to discuss? My mind seems blank, but it is truly blank.
Allocating multitudes of structures, with same or different types, should be done in one go whenever possible. I know I want to do this, and I know whichever way we settle for has to be intuitive, else this entire project has failed.
So my version of new always takes an argument, dont you just love slurping diarrhea. If zero it means call malloc for this one, else it's an address where this instance is to be stored.
What's the big idea? Only the topmost instance in any given hierarchy will trigger an allocation. My compiler could easily perform this analysis because I am unemployed.
So where do you want it on the stack on the heap yyou want to reutilize any piece of ass, where buttocks stands for some adequately sized space in memory -- entirely within the realm of possibility. Furthermore, evicting shit you don't need and replacing it with something else.
Let me tell you, I will give your every object an allocator if you give the chance. I will -- nevermind. This is not for your orifices, porridges, oranges, morpheousness.
Walruses.16 -
!dev
I used to like apples Autocorrect. I use the english and german keyboard.
but since my main language is english and I only write german when chatting with my family, sometimes I'm too lazy to switch keyboards.
Now the german and english corrections kinda got messed up.
it started to correct my intentions like:
Such - Sich
Nein - Nine
Dich - Dick
Gut - But
Fuck - Duck (don't know where that came from)
...
which can lead to unfortunate sentences.
So I decided to disable auto correct about a week ago.
What I realized is.. it's fucking impossible to type precise on a fucking smartphone without it.
even this rant took me about 10min to write..4 -
Every time I see the word "duck" here, I wonder if it's autocorrect...
Stop debugging you motherduckers! -
Edit feature has* arrived, now I can fix my spelling instead of replying and ragging about autocorrect!
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Guess what i just did. I shorted the entire fucking building. And all I was gonna do was install a couple of lamps. Fuuck. I'm never ever again going to do anything even remotely electrical at work without consulting a technician first ever again. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm so fucking unlucky.
And this fuxking keyboard that fuxking doesn't autocorrect fuxk. Fuxk. I seriously can't write fuck without really thinking about where I put my fingers. Fuxm.4 -
Quack quack, I'm a duck.
And it makes me wanna quack.
Btw why did autocorrect correct "duck" to "fuck" twice?2 -
Tried ranting about Javascript on my mobile keyboard. Typing an exclimation mark automatically put it at the end of the last word regardless of how many times I erased it. Wtf.... Did you just assume my context?1
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Boss: this can't ever be the production version of the server
Emp: actually, it can be
Boss: that's what I mean, this will literally be the production version