I feel that people are quick to blame PHP for a lot of things. But come on, you have to admit it has the most straightforward debugging workflow:

Take a ritual knife out of your desk drawer

Sacrifice some blood to the PHP gods

Clean the knife

It's all about the little things. Like getting my first cup of coffee of the day while watching all the AWS alarms trigger one by one.

When my neighbor forgets to lock his computer, I append this to his bashrc

alias cd='cd $(ls -d */ | sort -R | head -1) && echo'

When it comes to crushing rogue AIs, no one beats Commander Shepard

Launching the company's platform setup script:
"we added some variables to your bashrc. please source it and re launch this script"
"source .bashrc"
"we added some variables to your bashrc. please source it and re launch this script"
...
You had one job.

"The new platform is launching tomorrow. Get the most perfect first time user experience and registration flow. Don't leave until it's done."
Exactly one year later: "We are finally about to launch the new platform"