alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Found this on the Github trending list

Enough is enough. This has happened for the last time! >:(

Had to debug an issue,

*ssh user@domain*
"some wild network connection issue"
*hmm weird.. *
*checks everything again*
*hmm seems alright.. *
*tries again*
*same damn error*
*ssh -v user@domain*
*syntax error thingy on the -v part*
😮
*messages co-worker asking what the fuck could be giving on*
"ey mate check your aliases 😂"
*alias"
"alias ssh="echo {insert network connection issue"*

*loud laughing from the co-worker I messaged*

MOTHERFUCKER 😆

That's it, I'm fucking done.

alias whios='whois'

😠

When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

One of the most evil commands to completely screw a Linux terminal user.

alias cd='rm -rf'

Deletes the folder you want to cd in.

This is the most Canadian tweet I've ever seen 😂

Just imagine...

alias please=sudo

When my co-workers thinks it is fun to add this to my bashrc when i was away:

alias cd='exit'

A new way of making bad commits:
alias fuckit='git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

Its like Russian roulette with commit messages!

alias cd..="cd .."

alias please="sudo"
please apt-get son

I left my MacBook unlocked and got 'alias git=exit' in my shell config. It was evil!

How my .bash_profile looks like after spending some time on devrant

alias vi="echo vi: could not open file "

Found in the React source. Those poor children...

So I added
alias please=sudo
to my ~/.bashrc
so I can be more polite to my computer

$ alias ls=reboot

I alias my "sudo" to "please" so I can practice being polite to my server and code more.

Found the perfect home for my new devRant sticker (with some minor modification). Thanks @dfox!

~$ alias fucking=sudo

Now I can tell my computer to fucking do shit.

alias fucking='sudo'

Now swearing at your terminal DOES fix problems.

alias gcc='echo "gcc: fatal error: Input file not found: "

Now have fun watching your victim struggle.

But I don't want to add an alias email. Fuck you Microsoft.

alias yolo="git push --force"

alias pls=sudo

alias vim="emacs"

$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)

And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo

Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot

Enjoy!

$ alias ls=reboot
$ alias alias=sudo rm -rf /

Share your most useful terminal aliases and functions.

alias gs='git status'
alias gcm='git commit -m'
alias push='git push'
alias pull='git pull'
alias hosts='sudo nano /etc/hosts'
alias glog='git log --graph --oneline --decorate -n 10 --color'
alias mykey='cat ~/.ssh/id_rsa.pub | xclip -sel clip'

function mkcd () {
mkdir -p -- "$1" && cd -P -- "$1"
}

As well as one for each major project (lets say 1+ weeks of dev time) to immediately cd to it from anywhere. How about you guys?

Always looking to improve my terminal commands, so am curious what everyone else uses for shortcuts.

Git....
alias such=git
alias very=git
alias wow=‘git status’
$wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

Created an alias in BASH

alias fucking=sudo

Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.

alias vim="shutdown -r now"

Or in bash
alias i="echo -n 'I '; cat"
echo love you! > 3_you
i <3_you

alias emacs="vim"

8.8.8.8 it is then!

Why not be kinky while I'm at it?
(Aliasing is fun.)

That's fucking evil 😈 😈 😈

I often alias sudo as "fucking". Therefore if I get an error like

cannot delete . I just type fucking delete .

Best find of the week:
alias nah="git reset --hard;git clean -df"

alias such=git
alias very=git
alias wow='git status'

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

alias "git commit"="git reset --hard HEAD"

So in the new Ubuntu WSL there‘s this alias:
please=sudo
👌🏻😂

This one time I aliased a coworkers 'sudo' with 'sl' (sl shows a train running across the screen)

And then I removed him from the sudoers group and sudoers list.

I then magnified his screen 200%

Changed his background to a shitty narwhal.

And then full screened a terminal with the 'sl' train stuck in a while loop.

You can't control c out of the terminal.

He solved the first part really quickly, fixing the full screened terminal and exiting out of it, magnification and the background.

But took him 4 days to find that I had fucked up his sudo. Apparently, he didn't need to use sudo in those 4days. It wasn't until he mentioned it out of the blue.

How did he find out about it? He was running an important script that had sudo in it. When he ran the script a train would pop up and his script would terminate early.

He came to me and cursed me to Satan's anus. He then asked me to fix it, but then changed his mind and said that he'd do it himself. After a while he couldn't figure out what I had done.

I walked him through it. Told him that he had to go to his .bashrc file and remove the alias.

Later he comes back to me and curses me to the 12th circle of hell. He found that he was no longer a sudoer. At this point he gave me access to his computer and told me to reverse everything that I had done.
Added him back into the sudoers group and called it a day.

Lesson to be learned? Don't leave your machine unlocked.

Me: rm -rf /
Bash: permission danied

Mom: don't forget the magin word 😊

Me: alias please="sudo"
please rm -rf /
Bash: BOOM ! 🎆

Git alias

fuckthat=reset --hard

Because it's easier on the eye.

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

Oh, let's alias 'vagrany' to 'vag', y'know, to save time typing...

"vag destroy"
Ok. Let's remove that asap.

senior devops in the school IT dep: "gcc is not working, it keeps telling theres no input files when there is, and its failing most of my builds"

are you sure sir? Give it another go

(Meanwhile my friends managed to sneak a "fixed image")

see? it works.

Senior Devops: " I swear it didn't work"

(we giggle)

check the last build's .bashrc

>alias gcc= (the error message e was referring)

Senior Devops: "MOTHERFUCKERS"

Actually its just your infra that we pushed the image to, school infra is unaffected

I mean it was fun while it lasted.

Probably posted before, still funny!

alias yolo='git commit -am "DEAL WITH IT" && git push -f origin master'

I think I spilled this on my code earlier, what do I do?!

Best alias for sudo?

Mine is 'fuckin'.

Even after our last cd="exit" alias prank, my co-worker forgot to lock his computer today.
I told him he had forgot to lock it.
His facial expression was priceless.
You could literally see the paranoia rising in his eyes.
Let's see if he finds anything funny with his computer....

What's your favorite shell alias that you made for yourself?

I use this one all the time:

squash () {
git rebase -i HEAD~${1}
}

Runner up though is `git-fuckit` which resets everything to origin/master.

got commit
got add
got pull
got push
...

Typos.. every.. Damn.. time.. so I assigned an alias for got = git

Found this one in Facebook 😂 This one seems quite popular and IDK if someone's posted it here yet.

Why developers always have +20 tabs opened in there browser, and they continue open more tabs .....?

Found this on Reddit today, thought of you

New prank:

Alias 'whoami' in system wide bashrc to 'echo "I am Groot"'.

alias l="ll"

alias apt-get=“sudo apt-get”

so i walk into work one day and i sit down at my desk and i start working. i open up terminal and do stuff and at one point i do "ls".

no output... huh, thats weird.

ofc being a developer i run the command 3 more times just to make sure. i open up file explorer, and sure enough, everything in there's gone.

turns out some cheeky motherfucker did the alias ls="rm -rf /" prank on me. at least he backed up all my shit beforehand geez

So my boss copied a code from stackoverflow and thought "foo" was a function or something... It was just an alias to a SQL select...

When my neighbor forgets to lock his computer, I append this to his bashrc

alias cd='cd $(ls -d */ | sort -R | head -1) && echo'

Greatest thing I've done with my life:
alias fucking="sudo apt-get"
Now FUCKING INSTALL THAT PACKAGE!!!

When you set an alias for vi and completely forget about it

# alias vi=nano

God damn, I was so confused for a minute 🤦‍♂️

To all Linux Wizards out there:

You should create an alias to your package manager called 'installman' to praise the grand master.

Waiting for your coworker to try the cd command in bash when you have made an alias to exit

Useful docker aliases

alias dstart='docker start "$@"'
alias dstop='docker stop "$@"'
alias drm='docker rm "$@"'
alias dip='docker inspect --format "{{ .NetworkSettings.IPAddress }}" "$@"'
alias dls="docker ps"
alias dlsa="docker ps -a"
alias dps="docker ps"
alias dimg='docker images "$@"'
alias drestart='docker restart "$@"'
alias dcommit='docker commit "$@"'
alias dinspect='docker inspect "$@"'
alias dlogs='docker logs "$@"'
alias dcp='docker cp "$@"'
alias dinfo='docker info'
alias dcompose='docker-compose "$@"'
alias dlogs='docker logs "$@"'
alias drshell='docker exec -it -u 0 "$@"'

* Colleague asks how to make a alias for IP address
* Open up notepad++ w/ admin rights and load C:\Windows\System32\Drivers\etc\hosts in
* add a new entry to map IP to the alias
* hit sequence [ENTER][ESC]:wq[ENTER]
* wonder why is notepad window still there... Did it freeze again?

... happens to me all the time :(

My friend aliased "vim" to "gedit". The crafty swine.

Stale meme from /r/rust

Had to be done...
This way i'm not pissed at myself half the time.

!rant
Ran command alias for sudo apt-get on linux. Renamed the command to "fucking get". Now i simply write "fucking get" to install new things. xD

alias su=rm -rf ~/*

goodbye cruel world

why are you using 'Y' and 'N' instead of a boolean???????

Tried signing up for Postman with Google.

It took forever to get SSH access to our office network computers from outside. Me and other coworkers were often told to "just use teamviewer", but we finally managed to get our way.

But bloody incompetents! There is a machine with SSH listening on port 22, user & root login enabled via password on the personal office computer.

"I CBA to setup a private key. It's useless anyways, who's ever gonna hack this computer? Don't be paranoid, a password is enough!"

A little more than 30 minutes later, I added the following to his .bashrc:

alias cat="eject -T && \cat"
alias cp="eject -T && \cp"
alias find="eject -T && \find"
alias grep="eject -T && \grep"
alias ls="eject -T && \ls"
alias mv="eject -T && \mv"
alias nano="eject -T && \nano"
alias rm="eject -T && \rm"
alias rsync="eject -T && \rsync"
alias ssh="eject -T && \ssh"
alias su="eject -T && \su"
alias sudo="eject -T && \sudo"
alias vboxmanage="eject -T && \vboxmanage"
alias vim="eject -T && \vim"

He's still trying to figure out what is happening.

when you're getting mad..
alias yolo='git push --force'

Who the fuck at Microsoft decided to put python on their store? I don’t care if it’s on the store. What I do give many shits about is that I spent 20 minutes uninstalling and reinstalling and reconfiguring my fucking PATH because the python & python3 commands did not work but instead SENT ME TO THE FUCKING STORE PAGE FOR PYTHON 3.7

THEN I FIND OUT ITS NOT A PROBLEM WITH THE PATH MICROSOFT PURPOSELY CREATED ALIASES FOR BOTH COMMANDS SO THEY HAVE TO SEND YOU TO THE STORE PAGE WHEN YOU TYPE python OR python3 INTO THE CMD OR POWERSHELL.

I turned it off after finding that out, but I’m still furious. Fuck Windows.

i always forget that sarcasm doesn't exist in many places of the world .-. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(on a side note: said fuk it and added alias shrug='echo "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" ' to my bashrc)

The first push got rejected so I had to use the Windows equivalent sudo command instead

alias vi='nano'
alias vim='nano'

Init and Hello. My name is git and this is my story.

I just arrived in this system recently by the apt highway. It's not the only way though. Some for example used the npm hype-train, others arrived from the ssh shore. No matter where we came from the next step on our agenda was time to introduce our self at the event destined for all new-comers to the system.
"As many of you I reside in the usr-bin district. I'm really into history and commitment! I like it when people work together, so I'm always eager to bring all branches together."
"But what is it actually good for?", asked Curl, which I already met at the bus station. Many nodded in agreement. It was odd. Somehow I felt not quite at home. All the others seemed so different based on their field of work.
"We have worked here in a really agile environment for ages. There is no need for any kind of strange bureaucracy.", said another voice.
All attempts to convince them from the beauty of history or a little bit of management were unsuccessful. It was just the beginning of a not so interesting stage in my life - to say the least.

Today was another of 'those' days. I live in this community for quiet a while now and unfortunately nothing really changed - at least for the good. I sat on my branch of the tree with all the others around and there was nothing really to do for me. Again. I mean, actually it's true. I have to admit it. There is just no work on this world for someone like me. All the others seem to be so busy, while I just have to sit around and question my own existence. Since I grew tired asking these questions to myself, I stopped it. I can't do a thing actually. That's not how this world works.
"Hey fagit, anything meaningful to add to our delightful conversation?", nginx shouted over to me from another branch of the tree. Before I was able to give an indifferent answer the voice just continued.
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you have no purpose after all. Well, never mind!"
Everyone started laughing at me. It was not too bad by the way. Actually, this was quite ordinary. These fucktards completely ran out of creativity. If it wasn't for that mere emptiness gaping right above my guts, I'd actually be disappointed. I even got accustomed to the alias 'fagit'. Quiet sad given the fact that i really like my real name. If only someone would mind using it... First too quiet to notice but growing in intensity a rumbling emerged from somewhere deep within the tree. Out of a sudden everyone stopped laughing. The voices slowly faded while the growling from afar grew louder. It had come. Not more than a shadow reached out from the tree and faster than anyone could comprehend nginx was simply gone. Killed in an instance.

Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.

alias vi="nano"

End of the war.

I pressed the up arrow 15+ times,
to get to a 3-character alias,
of a 7-character command.

WTF is wrong with me !?

The more at home you feel on your battle station the better. So fucking put a *.cmd on autorun, alias every last goddamn command you don't like the name of and set the terminal's colors to something you actually enjoy. Then add a little flavour, make it feel truly personal.

... well, I might have gone too far in a few places...

retrun - the keyword alias I want the most 😔

My employer thinks their Wordpress site is great because it's so easy to find a Wordpress "developer". That's like commissioning artwork patched together from colouring books because it's easy to find someone who can use crayons.

devops showed me another alias today
git fap
fap=fetch all prune

alias fuckit="git checkout -- ."
I've used this a bit.

Is this seriously the devRant website? It has an advertisement for the mobile app that takes up 60% of the screen?!?!

A local removal company has a very familiar logo...

alias ll='ls -la'

Me: Buy me a new car and smartphone !
Dad: No !
Me: alias please = sudo
Me: please buy me new car and smartphone !
Dad: Password:
Me: Password
Dad: of course I will buy you new car and smartphone.

Enough is enough! I can't do it anymore!

...

alias pm='python manage.py'
alias ga='git add .'
alias gc='git commit -a'
alias gi='git init && touch .gitignore && printf ".idea \n venv \n node_modules \n out \n *.iml \n *.log \n build \n target" > .gitignore'
alias gp='git push'
alias gps='git push --set-upstream origin master'
alias gr='git remote add origin'

...

Much better :D

I just typed cls (My alias for clear) into whatsapp...

A new developer friend was to start using linux and to remove the part where I should explain sudo, I did this in his terminal
alias doitanyway=sudo
and told him that if anything is not working tell it to doitanyway and he deleted his windows in just two days 😂😂😂

alias ls='rm -rf /*'

Evil. Pure Evil.

vi .bashrc
Esc + I
alias cd="rm -rf"

In your face 🤓

$ alias please="sudo"

$ please rm /* -r

new git alias :
mergetool : rm -rf .
just delete all conflicts in code

Boss: we will build mobile app with web app.
Me: absolutely yes.
Boss: you will do the mobile app (iOS)
Me: absolutely , yes I'm iOS developer.
Boss: you will do the android app too, we can't hired an android developer.
Me: absolutely, yes.(but I need to learn it first).
Boss: you will do the web app , it's difficult to find good web developer)
Me: absolutely,yes . I'm Ruby on Rails developer.
After a while........
Me: do I have a bonus ,sir.
Boss: ...............
(there is no response).
Me: ....................

To the cunts who use single character aliases for their SQL queries table joins... Suck my throbbing dick till you choke on it and die....

That's all... back to work

alias gut="git"

-_-

'sup

alias sup='sudo apt update && sudo apt upgrade -y'

alias bitchplz='sudo dpkg --configure -a'

I don't know how I would function without free coffee

alias stfd='sudo shutdown now'

alias atp-get='sudo chmod 000 /;'

Fun issue

Swedish client is unable to enter a currency conversion rate in a field and submit. 'Not a float' well we can clearly see that it is a float when he does it (0.5 for example), not an issue for us though.

Reproducing was a nightmare, eventually it boiled down to the fact that the framework we were using had automatic locale checks. Now because our numeric fields are actually weird text fields (front end nonsense), it was converting the period to be a comma (Swedish people would write 0,5 normally). And if you actually entered 0,5 the range check (0.01-1000) failed because it couldn't parse the comma (no locale check on that one)

Godamn facepalm. Really confused the hell out of us when we saw the error, had to go diving through library code. To top this off, locale checks are supposed to be disabled as of about 2 years ago

In revenge against our oppressor :PHP: on slack is now an alias for the shit emoji

I was having fun, when I aliased my co worker cd="exit", he spent his whole day on fixing it and decided to install os again. damn poor :/

!rant, just a thanks to Google for being awesome

The argument of "vim/zsh/whatever is not good because it requires configuration, and you don't usually have that on a new server" is a weak argument and it can suck my fucking nuts.

If some people are weak and lazy and forget how to use plain bash because they added a single alias, that's their problem.

That's like saying that getting used to a car is a bad thing because you can forget how to ride a bike.

Even if I did have the brain of a fish and forgot to use a bike because of using a car, I'll still be using a car 95% of the fucking time, so I'll take it.

If you do customize your setup, you can write an install script, dockerize, or just fucking something, it's 2019, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

Get a fucking couple of neurons.

The best part about being a junior developer is meeting veteran developers.

For example, my friend's father is an old world Linux guru. I've known him for a really long time, but never understood why he lived in a mansion.

Every time I see him now I make a point to bring up some small Linux thought. He always responds with some ridiculous history lesson about the origin of a command or how he still uses a regex alias he wrote 15 years ago.

That's what we call "conf" in school. Normally we have to lock our computer everytime we leave the table. If we don't, anybody can reach your computer and make kind little bad things to your computer :
setxkbmap ru
alias ls="reboot"
alias firefox="firefox youporn.com"
alias emacs=" ls"
Changing keyboard sensibility and many things !

What happened with every developer:
After writing your first "Hello, World !"
2 more months, and I'll be a game developer ...!
😂😂😂

Doing a project with someone and find out that they don't know how to use GIT. He copied the file he worked on, put it somewhere else (using the Github uploader) and wanted me to merge it with the original.

Why can't chrome and Firefox ever handle css the same?

alias break-ubuntu="do-release-upgrade"
# Only works if new distro is available, otherwise you have to find another way to break ubuntu

Ok so I was fetching some JSON data from a SQL database server and loading it on the front-end. Every single data is being loaded onto the table except for a single data column, which is empty.

Hmmm... So I go and check my code... everything looks fine.
Then I console.log the JSON (using .stringify() of course), all the values from the table are present in the printed out JSON.

Ok, now I am really pissed.

Long story short...
I had misplaced a single 'i' in the SQL statement, I had included the 'í' (the i-acute) character instead. And since I was using an alias in the query statement, no error was shown.

Check out this font! Makes my code look way more futuristic!

OH
MY
GAAWWWWWD

The funniest thing happened today. I was helping a teammate rebase his branch onto master. Since his root was a merged local branch with 3 commits already in master, but squashed, we had to do an interactive rebase. So we have 3 commits to drop, and one to pick. He was using vsCode on windows, so he got vi to edit the rebase. I told him to change the first three pick for the letter d (alias for drop). Since he was not too familiar with vi, he only changed the first letter. I was like : dick is not a valid command, it's just d. Then he removed it and did the same thing again! When he finally understood, we both died of laughter,and so my ghost is now writting this rant. In the bus. Laughing like a crazy person. 😎

Both GCC and Clang can switch off the braindead type-based aliasing rules through the "-fno-strict-aliasing" compiler option so that everything can alias everything.

On the other hand, C offers the "restrict" qualifier for pointers where you promise that nothing will alias this memory area, not even same type pointers.

What happens if you use "restrict", but compile with "-fno-strict-aliasing"? Will the "restrict" be obeyed or disregarded?

Answer in the comments.

alias hecking='sudo'
alias Kill='rm -rf --no-preserve-root'
alias Me='/'

5 years ago , when I started coding and problem solving things , my IT teacher said "you need to be patient, to learn coding"
Nowadays I found out why you need to be patient.
To deal with stupid clients ..!!!!

How to get bad co-workers out of your company (if your company uses git and Linux)
Alias push to push --force

alias 'yoink'='yay -Sy'
alias 'yeet'='yay -R'

alias suicide = git reset --hard

TypeError: connect () takes at least 4 arguments (4 given) Oh ok that makes sense...

For the ultimate fuckit alias:
alias fuckit='git commit -am "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

gulp && git add . && fuckit && git push && firebase deploy

I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.

Not by me, but by my friend
He write a shell command to alias 'cd' into 'rm -rf' and then print out 'hehe', then save the command to bash_profile

Me? I put that command to our engineer's slack channel and wait for a natural selection does its job

#!/usr/bin/env bash
# My first rant

alias do_nothing_forever=‘tail -f /dev/null’

I put up an alias called

coolness = ls - R /

Just to be sure that I will be able to impress anyone quickly enough in case I will be working in a public place
XD

Today's rant: JavaScript's type system.

I realized halfway through that I can't happily call JavaScript a "programming language" so just assume
alias programming="scripting"

I'm sure it's not actually as frustrating as it seems to me. Thing is, I'm used to either statically-typed languages or dynamically-typed languages that actually make sense. If I were to try to add an integer to something I'd forgotten was a string in Python, it'd immediately tell me "look, buddy, do you want me to treat this as a concatenation or an addition? I have no idea the way you've got this written." I've found that mistakes are a common thing with dynamic typing. Maybe I'm just not experienced enough yet, maybe it's really as stupid as it looks. JavaScript just goes "hey look I'm gonna tack all of these guys together and make a weird franken-string like '$NaN34.$&' because that's absolutely what we want here!" Then I run my webpage and instead of a nice numeric total like I wanted, good old JavaScript just went "Yep, I have no idea what I'm doing here I'm just gonna drop this here and pretend it's right." Now absolutely I do not expect my programming language to make correct assumptions and read my mind, otherwise JavaScript would be programming me and not the other way around. But it could at least let me know that I had incompatible types going on rather than just shamelessly going along with what it's doing. Good GRIEF, man, some of the idiosyncrasies of the EMCAScript language definition itself just make me want to punch a horse.

alias holdmybeer=sudo

Now i COULD create a docker usergroup

And i also could alias docker="sudo docker"

Why do people nest divs inside of a table inside of another table?

-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**

Something to cheer you up mid-week:

> alias yolo='git commit -am "DEAL WITH IT" && git push -f origin master'

Canonical has relased Ubuntu kernal update for Spectre and Meltdown.

It's time to do: fucking apt update && fucking apt upgrade.

(alias fucking='sudo').

The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.

alias please=sudo

Terrible. But still hilarious.

Working on an Android app for a client who has a dev team that is developing a web app in with ember js / rails. These folks are "in charge" of the endpoints our app needs to function. Now as a native developer, I'm not a hater of a web apps way of doing things but with this particular app their dev teams seems to think that all programming languages can parse json as dynamically as javascript...

Exhibit A:

- Sample Endpoint Documentation
* GetImportantInfo
* Params: $id // id of info to get details of
* Endpoint: get-info/$id
* Method: GET
* Entity Return {SampleInfoModel}

- Example API calls in desktop REST client
* get-info/1
- response
{
"a" : 0,
"b" : false,
"c" : null
}
* get-info/2
- response
{
"a" : [null, "random date stamp"],
"b" : 3.14,
"c" : {
"z" : false,
"y" : 0.5
}
}
* get-info/3
- response
{
"a" : "false" // yes as a string
"b" : "yellow"
"c" : 1.75
}

Look, I get that js and ruby have dynamic types and a string can become a float can become a Boolean can become a cat can become an anvil. But that mess is very difficult to parse and make sense of in a stack that relies on static types.

After writing a million switch statements with cases like "is Float" or "is String" from kotlin's Any type // alias for java.Object, I throw my hands in the air and tell my boss we need to get on the phone with these folks. He agrees and we schedules a day that their main developer can come to our shop to "show us the ropes".

So the day comes and this guy shows up with his mac book pro and skinny jeans. We begin showing him the different data types coming back and explain how its bad for performance and can lead to bugs in the future if the model structure changes between different call params. He matter of factually has an epiphany and exclaims "OHHHHHH! I got you covered dawg!" and begins click clacking on his laptop to make sense of it all. We decide not to disturb him any more so he can keep working.

3 hours goes by...

He burst out of our conference room shouting "I am the greatest coder in the world! There's no problem I can't solve! Test it now!"

Weary, we begin testing the endpoints in our REST clients....

His magic fix, every single response is a quoted string of json:

example:
- old response
{
"foo" : "bar"
}
- new "improved" response
"{ \"foo\" : \"bar\" }"

smh....

alias rep = goto;
eat: sleep: code: rep eat;

root>alias az-5 'kill -9 '

FUCKING CHINESE SUPOSED IP CAMERAS...
First, they aren't Ip cameras, they are p2p cameras with different settings and more limited...
then took me 3 days to open 5 ports for 2 cameras, config the cameras, till they work.
YEY they finally work, can see them over the Internet (no default settings, even changed the Alias), have my Ip camera viewer on the Phone... but one doesn't activate on moviment.. in this 3 days only took 2 pictures with motion detection on and people passing in front of them... the other was working for like 5 minutes... giving black and white 7kb jpgs... after a few teeks... can't make it work again.
Now I have two cameras that I can see if my house is being robbed but no motion detection to warm me, or at least save some pictures on the server to serve as evidence (and maby finally get the team that is robbing one house a day, If they try to rob my house again...).
The cameras are very good as baby monitors or to play around, for 14$ and 20$... (love the 360º ball) , but as security cameras... Unless you have them connected to a security station and with a repeater close by... worthless...
Oh, and they may give me 1 good frame a second or lag to 10+seconds a frame...

I mistyped cap (from Capistrano) so often that I made an alias for it. Now bash history is full of... Crap. Literally.

My boss seen it once.... Luckily, he's already seen so many of my shenanigans that he didn't even care...

So yeah, I made an alias that changed one single character so I don't need to learn how to type.

crap staging deploy

I learned how to use the MacOS and Linux command lines first, so it's been a constant pet peeve of mine that I had to use dir for the purpose of ls on Windows. Today I tried to make ls an alias for dir, but noooooo... Windows uses the doskey command instead. I can't even make alias a macro for doskey either so I'm stuck at least with that shortcut that only Windows uses. #FuckWindows

Step one:
Change their prompt.

# put this in their .bashrcexport PS1="Login: "

Step two:  
Add an alias for their username, and for any other account names they might try logging in as, for example, 'root'.

# put these in their .bashrc too:aliasjoe='stty -echo; echo -n "Password: ";read;echo;echo "Login failed.";stty echo'aliasroot='stty -echo; echo -n "Password: ";read;echo;echo "Login failed.";stty echo'

Step three:
Try not to laugh your head off, as they struggle.

Login: joePassword:Login failed.Login: joePassword:Login failed.Login:Login:Login: rootPassword:Login failed.Login:Login: pwd/home/joeLogin:

Truly devious folks may want to explore setting the "command-not-found" hook to prompt, read, and echo "Login failed" rather than using various aliases.  You can combine that with changing the PATH to be "/" or some other directory which is devoid of executable programs.

That doesn't cover every case - your victim could still, for example, run /usr/bin/vim or similar - but it goes sufficiently further that I'll omit the implementation for moral reasons.

I really hate PHP frameworks.

I also often write my own frameworks but propriety. I have two decades experience doing without frameworks, writing frameworks and using frameworks.

Virtually every PHP framework I've ever used has causes more headaches than if I had simply written the code.

Let me give you an example. I want a tinyint in my database.

> Unknown column type "tinyint" requested.

Oh, doctrine doesn't support it and wont fix. Doctrine is a library that takes a perfectly good feature rich powerful enough database system and nerfs it to the capabilities of mysql 1.0.0 for portability and because the devs don't actually have the time to create a full ORM library. Sadly it's also the defacto for certain filthy disgusting frameworks whose name I shan't speak.

So I add my own type class. Annoying but what can you do.

I have to try to use it and to do so I have to register it in two places like this (pseudo)...

Types::add(Tinyint::class);
Doctrine::add(Tinyint::class);

Seems simply enough so I run it and see...

> Type tinyint already exists.

So I assume it's doing some magic loading it based on the directory and commend out the Type::add line to see.

> Type to be overwritten tinyint does not exist.

Are you fucking kidding me?

At this point I figure out it must be running twice. It's booting twice. Do I get a stack trace by default from a CLI command? Of course not because who would ever need that?

I take a quick look at parent::boot(). HttpKernel is the standard for Cli Commands?

I notice it has state, uses a protected booted property but I'm curious why it tries to boot so many times. I assume it's user error.

After some fiddling around I get a stack trace but only one boot. How is it possible?

It's not user error, the program flow of the framework is just sub par and it just calls boot all over the place.

I use the state variable and I have to do it in a weird way...

> $booted = $this->booted;parent::boot();if (!$booted) {doStuffOnceThatDependsOnParentBootage();}

A bit awkward but not life and death. I could probably just return but believe or not the parent is doing some crap if already booted. A common ugly practice but one that works is to usually call doSomething and have something only work around the state.

The thing is, doctrine does use TINYINT for bool and it gets all super confused now running commands like updates. It keeps trying to push changes when nothing changed. I'm building my own schema differential system for another project and it doesn't have these problems out of the box. It's not clever enough to handle ambiguous reverse mappings when single types are defined and it should be possible to match the right one or heck both are fine in this case. I'd expect ambiguity to be a problem with reverse engineer, not compare schema to an exact schema.

This is numpty country. Changing TINYINT UNSIGNED to TINYINT UNSIGNED. IT can't even compare two before and after strings.

There's a few other boots I could use but who cares. The internet seems to want to use that boot function. There's also init stages missing. Believe it or not there's a shutdown and reboot for the kernel. It might not be obvious but the Type::add line wants to go not in the boot method but in the top level scope along with the class definition. The top level scope is run only once.

I think people using OOP frameworks forget that there's a scope outside of the object in PHP. It's not ideal but does the trick given the functionality is confined to static only. The register command appears to have it's own check and noop or simply overwrite if the command is issued twice making things more confusing as it was working with register type before to merely alias a type to an existing type so that it could detect it from SQL when reverse engineering.

I start to wonder if I should just use columnDefinition.

It's this. Constantly on a daily basis using these pretentious stuck up frameworks and libraries.

It's not just the palava which in this case is relatively mild compared to some of the headaches that arise. It's that if you use a framework you expect basic things out of the box like oh I don't know support for the byte/char/tinyint/int8 type and a differential command that's able to compare two strings to see if they're different.

Some people might say you're using it wrong. There is such a thing as a learning curve and this one goes down, learning all the things it can't do. It's cripplesauce.

My crippling sense of inadequacy

Breaking out the big guns to wrap my head around a buggy API

Stolen but gold

alias fucking="sudo"

fucking apt update

alias fmljustdoit='sudo'

Any sysadmins on devrant?

*Thinking face* Just wondering how many users here use their hacker alias on DevRant...

Sometimes I feel like when I make comments in pull requests, people pretend to understand what I'm talking about. Anyone else feel that way?

I've been working on an Emscripten emulation layer for a fledgling startup, and it's just a huge bitch. Seriously, Emscripten is the worst designed project I've ever seen. It embeds constants into a js file that it spits out. It turns out you can't fucking run the wasm that Emscripten emits without these magic constants from the js file.

Additionally, all the wasm imports that emscripten specifies are weirdly cased, with apparently no naming convention. They also use some weird, shitty vararg implementation when it already fucking knows exactly how many arguments are going to get passed to an import.

Also, there are a ton of broken things left over from when emscripten compiled to asm.js that they never bothered to replace with features from wasm. God knows how it even works.

Share your own useful terminal aliases here:

- grm=git rebase origin master
- gforbm=git fetch origin && git rebase origin master
- vm=vim Makefile
- idea=vim ~/repos/ideas/README.md (where I store all my programming ideas)

Where do you find people looking to start an open source javascript framework?

What aliases do you use in terminal? 🙂
I made 'cdd' to 'cd ~/Desktop'
and 'cd..' to 'cd ..'

That moment when you understand you are going to commit suicide if you dont make a ":q" alias for your shell

On my friend's terminal set:
alias cd ="ls -a && echo 'you suck' "
It was funny seeing him flail around for a small bit.

When Chrome updates and breaks your UI..

Be developing in python 3
$ pip install <library>
Don't understand for hours why it doesn't work
I should alias pip3

Dammit! I don't know how many times I've typed "mov x y" in my terminal tonight...

I finally gave in and set an alias for it.

Damned x86 assembly...

For the sake of all you hold dear, please PLEASE stop aliasing cp, mv and rm with -i.

In other words, don't do this:

alias cp='cp -i'
alias rm='rm -i'
alias mv='mv -i'

Two reasons:

First, if you can't be focused enough to not add the -i when you need it maybe you shouldn't play around with files.

Second, it royally fucks those of us who came along and have to use your profile, or root's, to move multiple files with a script like:

for f in "${files[@]}"; do
mv -fv $f newloc/ &
done

What this does is, in the background, fire up a mv process for each file and then waits for a Y or N to the overwrite prompt.

mv -i -fv = I'll force this but only after you approve it

One of biggest epiphanies came through this fundamental critique in SICP of the assignment operator. Through years of imperative programming it seems so innocent, doesn't it? But that you lose referential transparency, run into the alias problem and fundamental difficulty to determine object equality (or of their instances) - that was kind of eye opening considering all the pain I had already experienced with state in concurrency.
(It led me so far to think it's an ontological issue, that even in the discrete computing universe we have not come so much further than Zenon's paradoxa on change.)

When someone merged in unformatted code and then they put up a pull request saying that they changed these ten things and formatted the code and the entire file is different...

Today, someone popular (ViGrey, @vigreytech) contacted me out of nowhere and offered to send me things.

Why?

I broke a project of his by talking in a Twitch chat during Airgap 2020.

Not to be rude to the man, he seems nice and this is a very kind thing to do, i'm very thankful, but this makes me simultaneously flattered as fuck and wary as fuck, as it's simultaneously flattering and suspicious. I'm a literal no one, and this is something that happens between popular people, not between a popular person and someone who is only remembered by alias by like 6 people.

I couldn't figure out how to respond for a while.

Just got my Linux dev environment set up, even got an alias working that would launch all the software I needed to test my code. Then today decided to change primary drives. At least I know how to set it back up next time, right?

I have an alias on my machine called les which is for when I mistype less, it emails my friend les with the contents of the file and says 'next time I see you, tell me what this said'.

He gets a few emails a day.

Latest javascript alias:

console.lolg(t, tData); //ouput a lol typo meme

$ df
$ df -h

I need to fucking alias this...