Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
I'm surprised by the ability of coworkers to get on my nerves. Here's an example...
Me: "Just upload those files you idiot! I got called up three times all because you couldn't upload this thing!"
Co-Worker: "Chill bro, I've got it all here safe and secure on my computer"
(In mind: Should I do to him what Walter did in breaking bad.... Drown him in a vat of acid. Saves me the trouble of hiding the body)5
I wouldn't say least successful but my current one has an extremely irritating annoyance.
I have to setup a tile server (for those draggable maps in browsers and such) and I've come to the point where I'm skilled enough to at least setup the server. BUT:
- Generating the tiles from a database to PNG pbf files at a max 15 zoom level of only even the goddamn nerherlands will take more than a hundred days and I want the entire goddamn world. (20 core rather powerful server).
The end result is veeery fast.
- The importing is fast enough but generating them on the fly is so painstakingly slow 😫
Lemme be frank for a moment
Just because the compiler tells you that you need to do a certain thing, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD SEE THAT AS THE ONLY FUCKING SOLUTION
DON'T START FUCKING UP THE SINGLE-RESPONSIBILITY PATTERN JUST BECAUSE THE COMPILER SAYS YOU SHOULD, HOW DENSE MUST YOU BE TO THINK THAT'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION?! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD DIG A LITTLE BIT DEEPER? I CAN'T EVEN LAUGH ABOUT IT IT'S SO SAD. DEADLINE IS GETTING CLOSER DAMNIT
Oh btw, another instance:
"I'm doing X to achieve Y because I'm more familiar with step 1 of X"
Fine, but that takes more time and can be done in way Z, in that way, you don't loose precious time and can just work on the other steps in the proces that contineously get harder.
* Person proceeds to do X anyway and get stuck, in the end having nothing done *
I like helping people, I really do
But I'm not going to loosen the knot around your neck if you keep tightening it11
So yesterday a friend of mine closed a ticket which has been open for around two years: "Automatically publish job offers in our internal wiki."
This was the conversation between him and HR.
- Friend: They're all on our website. Why should they be in our wiki too?
- HR: So that our employees can see them and recruit people for us.
- Friend: How about I just put the link in our wiki?
- HR: No, no links. They should all just be in our wiki.
- Friend: *<iframe src="website"></iframe>*
Now HR and everyone else is happy.1
"why dont you just go on a vacation?"
Why dont you just earn a billion dollars? Or why dont you just fuck your mom in her asshole from where you came from? FUCK YOU
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO TELL ME WHY DONT YOU JUST GO ON A FUCKING VACATION16
You write a list of instructions. The machine reads this list and runs your commands.
Quite similar to procedural programming but you group your functions via objects.
Learned of this new paradigm quite recently working with Blue Prism, which is essentially the program doing whatever it wants from crashing, freezing, returning wrong results, sometimes working properly, with no reason whatsoever other than the sheer malice of those beasts of burden who designed it in the first place. Mark my words, BP devs, you will be held accountable for your crimes against God and humanity.6
We had a guest lecture about computer science and gender equality, and it was exciting to see my male classmates so supportive of drawing more women into our field...They are so tired of taking biology courses just so they can look at pretty girls 😂10
[ Coworker walks up to my desk at 4:15 PM ]
Coworker: "Hey man. We had to make a few changes to the codebase because one of our unit tests were failing. Can you take a look at a pull request for me?"
Me: "Yeah sure, how many files?"
C: "About 600"
Me: [ thinking it might just be a ton of libraries or gradle shit] "...ooookaayyyy... that's a lot but doable... how many lines?"
C: “128,000 lines"
Me: "Fuck you"10
Currently trying to convert a python application to PHP because the learning curve of python is a little too high right now for me.
It's especially a challenge to find PHP functions/libraries which can do the same as some python ones.
I've never written a single thing in python, this is a very weird experience!18
Crappy day, entirely related to cars and trucks and other wheeled implements of doom and annoyance.
My car died this morning.
It has been slowly dying for weeks in a very unusual way (something electrical; we're not sure what), but today it finally gave up and just wouldn't start anymore.
We replaced the crap battery (it had been a crap freebie from my parents), which fixed the not-starting issue for now, but it still has lots of other problems. Fluid leaks, disintegrating paint, some lights suddenly or randomly not working, super long clutch distance, sporadic grinding sounds, shifter randomly not engaging, pieces literally falling off, bits of the interior breaking (like the driver's side door handle), the wiper sprayers bloody missing the windshield, etc., etc., etc. My poor, poor car. It was super cheap, and I've had it for a long time, so I'm not surprised, but. I love my car, so it makes me really sad. ☹
Anyway, we finally got the car starting again, and I drove to work about four hours late. I had worked super late the previous night (11:45pm), and had let my boss know already, so whatever.
As for the trip, I work ~40 minutes away, and with the poor quality of drivers here there's usually something dumb happening. Today... well. Today was one of the bad days.
Someone was in the fast lane doing 50mph. The usual speed of traffic is 80mph. They got annoyed whenever someone passed them. Minor, but worth including.
Later on, people slowed way down and gawked at... a port-a-potty. Seriously, a port-a-potty. It was on the shoulder where there had been some construction, so it's not surprising or anything. People seriously dropped from 80mph down to 20mph just to stare at this thing, and it wasn't even occupied or anything. It was just a port-a-potty! There was nothing else around! What could possibly be so interesting?!
There was also a random Penske (moving) truck doing 35mph on the freeway holding up traffic like 10 minutes later; no idea why. Traffic usually does ~70mph there. No blinkers or anything, it was just being slow and causing everyone to go around in a pretty traffic-heavy area.
The truck in front of me for ~40% of the trip kept waiting way too long to stop, and would then slam on the breaks. I almost hit him twice because of this, and I couldn't see around him, either. It was some giant pickup staying just in the wrong spot. I ended up driving partially in the shoulder so I could gauge when to stop by the car in front of him. He slammed on the breaks like twelve more times before he finally left. Jerk.
The same thing happened again like 85% of the way to work, but this time it was a different pickup, and there was a semi was behind me, which obviously couldn't stop very quickly. Fortunately for both of us, there was a gap in traffic to my right, so I slipped out of the way before getting squished. ><
Today has not been fun.
Nobody flipping me off or was doing their damnedest to prevent me from changing lanes today, though, so I suppose it could have been worse. Also I didn't die, so there's that.2