So I get a message from my ex-colleague today, and it’s déjà vu all over again.

Apparently, the CTO at my old company went full Hulk in the office this morning, demanding to know who used the ops@ email to subscribe to something called "custom purring ASMR." If that sounds familiar, buckle up - this one’s even better.

For context, this is the same company where I once had to explain to the CFO why our tech@ email got invoiced for "panties juice, extra virgin." If you don’t remember… Yeah, I left, but the shenanigans clearly stayed. Here’s a spot-the-difference picture: https://devrant.com/rants/6213132/...

Turns out, one of the devs was testing an API integration for some niche subscription platform. Nothing new there — sandbox environments, dummy accounts, €5 test payments. Except genius over here decides to jazz it up and names the testing account: "Cat Daddy Deluxe, meow to pay." Obviously not meant for production, right?

Fast forward to yesterday (yes, Friday): the platform goes live without clearing the sandbox database. Dev’s test account? Now the default subscription for every new creator. Not only that, but every 1k subscribers it "wins" a discount for the next most popular account. What are the top 5 other popular accounts?

5. "Leather Daddy Lullabies" – soothing bedtime stories narrated by a guy in full BDSM gear.
4. "ASMR For Adult Toys" – exactly what it sounds like, but HR will still ask.
3. "Moaning Meditation Mondays" – very NSFW guided mindfulness exercises... weekly!
2. "Kinksploration 101" – a podcast exploring bizarre fetishes you wish you didn’t know about.
1. And last but not least, "Spicy Grandma Diaries" – erotic stories written and narrated by a sweet old lady from the local senior centre, apparently depicting real-life escapades from her 70s. In great detail.

Here’s the kicker. Friday, ops@ gets two discount emails. The same guy who roasted the “panties” girl the hardest, the very one who caused this mess, is now sure they’ve finally sent him more accounts to test - because clearly, those can’t be meant for production. Right?

Long story short: he spent €118 of real-life company funds, and IT is now on the hook for lifetime memberships to “Purring Dominance 101” and “Whisker Tickler Masterclass.” How satisfying is it to see the universe balance all his not-so-funny comments?

Also, I’m definitely getting them to forward me those whisker-tickler classes. No matter how good you think you are, some areas of life always have room for improvement.

The Copilot logo is ugly as sin and the Copilot key glyph on new computer keyboards gives me cancer.

Man, you start doing computer graphics you really get an appreciation for nature

Like "got dayum, god got some good ass graphics, no way I can compete with that"

What's with the fucking dogshit companies requiring me to pay to unlock content inside and requiring subscription AFTER ME BUYING THE GAME.

Now, this is happening the second time.

I refunded GTA 5 after this shit happened but then THEY BANNED MY ACCOUNT FOR REFUNDING IT.

Microsoft is a greedy piece of shit company. I hate them. They continuously make my life harder. I'm an arch user, but I had to install Windows on another laptop. Guess what? They literally to throttle the downloads for the ISO itself unless you use their ass Media Creation Tool. Recently, they also removed some drivers from the said ISO, which literally can't be found anywhere, so they pretty much force you to use their shitty media tool from another Windows machine to get a working installation.

Facepunch is a fucking joke. They're not enabling the game run on Linux because of what? You can already cheat the fucking shit out of Rust on Windows since EAC doesn't give a shit if only 3-5 people use your cheat so you're free to cheat as long as you're not sharing it to lots of people. So why do they care so much about linux?????

can my code be less ugly pls

The 2025 IT codeword is "flanagan".

This word can be provided to other IT support teams to let them know you are also a competent IT person.

Did I restart my router? Check DNS? NTP config? Traceroute? Yep all that. Just give the proper codeword and you can get sent straight to L3 support.

Week : 69 ( Year 1 )

How is the weekend going?

As we approach the final weekend of the year, let's make it count! How do you plan to spend it?

Resolutions for next week maybe?

Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/11708341

Previous Year - last weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/10065108

Oh man, you guys get two rants for the price of one tonight.

DEVRANT IS RUNNING REALLY FUCKING SLOW. I know the platform has been 5.999999 feet under for about 4 years now, but it's starting to get reallllly grim.

Also: single wick candles always fucking tunnel. My girlfriend is trying to say I use them wrong. I do not. I burn them for long periods of time and they still have a huge fucking coating of wax on the outside. My triple wick candle is perfect. Burns to a nice puddle of liquid wax on the top every single time. Can we get SOMEONE working on fixing this?????

I've been using Void Linux on servers for years. I decided to finally contribute some packages, and wrote a tool to make it easier to build packages outside of the standard repository. This post covers some useful tools in Void, my voidup package building tool, and many of the issues I encountered which make me wonder if I should keep support Void Linux.

https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...

the opposite to border collie is padding poodle or margin malamute

AI hacking attempts being spotted in the wild because they're too polite

https://someone.elses.computer/@mik...

there's actually a similar vetting process in the crypto industry where you have to swear or you won't get hired. forget why now

this seems optimistic to me because companies generally don't do security. a hacker desperate for money has less money to blow on AI hacking than someone invested in protecting their company would on AI pentesting. poor low level pentesters I guess though

Mice are so cute even when they scare me to death when scurrying from random places lol

Men only want one thing, and it's fucking disgusting

Needed an application that generates data very fast for a networking application i'm writing but I did notice that /dev/urandom and /dev/random are not very consistent in speed.

Still, i needed something fairly random with more consistent speed. Now, I made an application that caches 1000 randoms upfront and use them for calculation. Now I have my own randomization algorithm backed by the uniqueness of the original rand(). For fun I added data in the set like some phone numbers. I can watch ages to the data to find smth in common or interesting combinations of the data.

I did verify with GPT is the algorithm is unique and it's fail. It generated a complete ML script for itself to check it. Very awesome.

You use urandom, i use retoordom. We are not the same.

Finally added UI to pick a reason for downvoting in JoyRant :)