I didn't..
A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.

I pick up whatever is required by my projects, but I do prefer backend & scripting to graphic fuckery.. // pixel left, pixel up...blah, not for me..

PSA When someone is eating lunch in the office please just leave them the fuck alone.

I can't recall the number of times I've been literally lifting food to my mouth when someone just rocks up and starts yakking about some work related issue with zero fucking consideration for the fact I'm trying to refuel and recoup.

Today it wasn't me; I experienced this vicariously, watching my poor colleague trying to eat, then being approached by someone; then another. Moments later the poor guy had 3-4 people literally crowded around him excitedly conversing and poking questions at him. I could see he just wanted it to go away so he could eat.

So just in case this makes a difference to anyone it reaches:

If you see someone eating lunch. Show some fucking self-restraint and just leave them to it, eh? Thought for the day.

Interviewer called me useless for reason that I am a self taught programmer and don't have a degree. She told me that I will have no future. Because self taught are just useless who who try to fit in the club.

This personally offend me so much. Yes, I'm self taught. At least I have a heart of learning rather than being arrogant ....

🎵Junior guy, its junior guy.🎵
🎵making your code base look like a fry.
🎵a file here, a file there,🎵
🎵adding useless code now everywhere.
🎵at the end , he uses old funcs,
🎵but forgets to delete his useless code chunks🎵

🎵Junior guy, its junior guy.🎵
🎵making your code base look like a fry.

Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?

I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅

Dear Product Owners,

If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.

I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.

then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.

I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.

after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.

Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job

PS: get fucked

I fucking hate frontend

I was an embarrassment in my final meeting.

Kill me now. 😫🔫 ⚰️💀🥀

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

Finally finished the screwdriver followup ticket. I think.

I spent almost two full days (14 hours) on a seemingly simple bug on Friday, and then another four hours yesterday. Worse yet: I can’t test this locally due to how Apple notifications work, so I can only debug this on one particular server that lives outside of our VPN — which is ofc in high demand. And the servers are unreliable, often have incorrect configuration, missing data, random 504s, and ssh likes to disconnect. Especially while running setup scripts, hence the above. So it’s difficult to know if things are failing because there’s a bug or the server is just a piece of shit, or just doesn’t like you that day.

But the worst fucking part of all? The bug appeared different on Monday than it did on Friday. Like, significantly different.

On Friday, a particular event killed all notifications for all subsequent events thereafter, even unrelated ones, and nothing would cause them to work again. This had me diving through the bowels of several systems, scouring the application logs, replicating the issue across multiple devices, etc. I verified the exact same behavior several times over, and it made absolutely no sense. I wrote specs to verify the screwdriver code worked as expected, and it always did. But an integration test that used consumer-facing controller actions exhibited the behavior, so it wasn’t in my code.

On Monday while someone else was watching: That particular event killed all notifications but ONLY FOR RELATED EVENTS, AND THEY RESUMED AFTER ANOTHER EVENT. All other events and their notifications worked perfectly.

AKL;SJF;LSF

I think I fixed it — waiting on verification — and if it is indeed fixed, it was because two fucking push event records were treated as unique and silently failing to save, run callbacks, etc.

BUT THIS DOESN’T MATCH WHAT I VERIFIED MULTIPLE TIMES! ASDFJ;AKLSDF

I’m so fucking done with this bs.

Not Dev

My passport appointment date was 26/03/2021 and i saw only 26.
Travelled 100 kms for this mistake yesterday. 😭😭

Guys .... What you say about this when YOUR SENIOR do this....

Finding a memory leak is the very definition of the journey where you start with "I hate everything" and end up with "I am GOD"

It is very hard to make me mad.

But if you imply I "didn't do anything" or that my job is "easy" because all I do is just ”sit in front of a computer” 9 to 10 hours a day then you can go fuck yourself.

I need a room to scream. Fuckin fuck every asshole cunt who sees shit code and decides its ok to write more shit code rather than fix it, absolute fuckin cunts

Our frontend developer plays mix and match with JSON keys without reading the structure or thinking if the properties he's matching even makes sense. We've given him the API documentation complete with all the properties and data types. We provide him with sample payload too but he only refers to that and never reads the documentation which is stupid because that changes based on the specific record.

He would find a key for zip code and match it to the first zip code he finds even if the body contains addresses for a person, company, etc. "Oh, I didn't see a zip code in person so I decided to get it from the company instead." Dude, do you not see the difference between those addresses? He doesn't directly blame so I have some patience for that but his reasoning makes no sense because we can't give him a sample payload for all of his scenarios, he just has to read but apparently, it's my job to read the same documents that I wrote. He has two documentations to refer to, not to mention the actual labels in the UI - person address, company address, etc. Does it make sense to put a company's zip code in the person's address now? So if you have to persons and one of them has a suffix, the other one doesn't, do you just mix and match those too?

Then he would get errors, of course and it's up to me to check why the backend service is saying "fuck no" to his payload only to find out that he's putting the wrong details. One time, he wasn't passing the object at all and wonder why backend isn't receiving it. Fucking nuts.

Follow-up.

After getting fired last week, I went to the company today to take my papers, then the security guard asked for my government ID and refused to let me go the 5th floor to HR office, apparently because they had a meeting, then they had me waiting 20 minutes in the ground floor at the reception and when I asked if I could go to the bathroom he came in to the elevator with me and waited for me to get out to escort me back, I was so fucking furious by this point I just had it and told him who gave you the orders to take my gov ID and escort me everywhere like I'm a fucking maniac or a thief? Are you afraid of me breaking chairs or destroying offices or you think I'm gonna kill someone?

He then told me sorry sir but it's the orders, then I went to HR office and complained and called for the manager and she just came out with a bunch of BS, uhh I'm so sorry sometimes security can be a bit rude and what not.

SO YOU FUCKING MORONS THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER BE COMING TO THIS FUCKING COMPANY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ONE GOOD IMPRESSION FOR 30 MINUTES? HOLY SHIT!!!

Never in my life have I seen such incompetence, I just kept getting shocked to the last minute.

Today is my last day. After that I'll go to the beach and celebrate my freedom with suchis and beers.

Then I'll finish my projects, take a long hike, and then wonder what to do next

Developer Swag

[9:10]

CTO (works as a team lead): You here?
Me: Yes 👍
CTO: After doing X, Y and Z I broke X. That should not happen. You do understand, that this is not a good UX?
Me (asked CTO X amount of times to hire a a good designer, because I’m not): Well, we made the backend receive Y when X is triggered so B can be passed. I can tell the user to do Y in order to do Z.
CTO: NO, you will not. Do what I’ve said.

DUDE WTF? YOU FUCKING 🐎 I WILL BLOW YOU BRAINS WITH MY MORNING NAUSEA AND DIARRHOEA. FUCKING DIPSHIT ALLOWS HIS BAD MOOD AFFECT OTHER EMPLOYEES. HOW THE FUCK YOURE A CTO.

IM NOT GOING TO REWRITE THE CENTER PIECE OF OUR APPLICATION IN A DAY, WHICH TOOK US MONTHS TO MAKE. FUCK OFF

Monday, hurray 🥳