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Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server
Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?
Manager: Yes
Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?
Manager: Yes
Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket
Manager: What’s so funny?
Dev: Nothing
Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.14 -
In my office, when a dev gets too talkative he/she gets boxed in and pretty much told to shut the hell up. 😂 #DevTimeout #LessFlapsMoreTaps
17 -
Manager: This button is too dark, you need to lighten it. Have you no sense of design?
Dev: …
Dev: Hows this for an adjustment?
Manager: Wayyyyy too light now, jesus you need glasses if you think that’s good.
Dev: …
Dev: How about now?
Manager: It’s close, make it just a little more dark. God why does this have to take so long, do I have to hold your hand through this entire process!
Dev: …
Dev: There that good?
Manager: Yes that’s perfect! Send me a PR immediately so I can approve, we need to get this out ASAP, it’s critical!!
Dev: I can’t.
Manager: ????
Dev: There’s no diff, you had me gradually adjust the colour back to exactly what it was originally.
Manager: THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE IT LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS, I HAVE A MEETING I NEED TO GET OFF TO BUT WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS LATER ABOUT THIS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR.
Dev: …17 -
Manager: You really shouldn’t be doing that
Dev: It’s in my job description
Manager: Yeah but you still shouldn’t be doing it.
Dev: Who should I hand it off to?
Manager: We don’t have anyone else to hand off that task to.
Dev: Ok, do I stop doing it?
Manager: 😡 Of course not, it needs to get done! I’m just saying you shouldn’t do it.
Dev: ???????????13 -
Manager: Feature C doesn’t work
Dev: We never built feature C
Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!
Dev: It’s still in the backlog
Manager: But we had many meetings about it
Dev: Never got put on the board
Manager: Feature C is very important!
Dev: It was never assigned to anyone
Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?
Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now
Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!
Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone
*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*
*2 days later*
Manager: What is the status of feature C?
Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog
Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!
Dev: …9 -
FINALLY, RESIGNED! Am leaving such a fucked UP "big" corporate company and starting my own business! Wish me luck!😔😔27
-
Dev: *Recieves email from manager with several typos/grammar mistakes asking to open attachment with strange name and click on tinyurl style link*
Dev: *Flags as phishing*
Manager: Hey how come you didn’t action my email?
Dev: That was actually from you?
Manager: Yes.
Dev: …3 -
Manager: Have you fixed the problem?
Dev: What’s the problem?
Manager: We’re not here to discuss problems we’re here to discuss solutions!
Dev: …11 -
Dev: So we’ve been working on X for about 2 weeks now, it’s about halfway do—
Manager: Btw what is the status of X?
Dev: I was just telling you
Manager: Oh, I wasn’t listening.
Dev: …
Dev: So as I was saying, we’re ab—
Manager: Oh and where are we at with Y?
Dev: …10 -
Interviewer: Do you know what Kubernetes is?
Dev: Yeah, that’s the greek god of spending money in the cloud.
Interviewer: Actually Kubernetes is an orchestration tool. Have you not been on a project that uses it yet?
Dev: …9 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you18 -
User: There’s a bug in the app
Dev: How do I reproduce it?
User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Dev: …7 -
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …24 -
Interviewer: Hello I’m calling for your phone interview now
Dev: You’re about an hour early calling but I can accommodate
Interviewer: Well it’s more convenient for me to do it now
Dev: …Alrighty then.
Interviewer: So I am from HR 😇*pause for effect*
Dev: …
Interviewer: Um, typically candidates start the interview by thanking me for consideration for this role.
Dev: Your job description was very vague so I don’t really know what I would be thanking you for.
Interviewer: 😡. It’s me that’ll be determining whether or not to pass you on to The Management.
Dev: …The Management?
Interviewer: Yes 🤗.
Dev: I’m no longer interested *click*.13 -
Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.
"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"
Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.19 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...8 -
Don't care if you're the best fucking dev in the world.
If you don't respect time, I don't respect you.8 -
Would you like to smile for 10 seconds? Read this short story:
*Story begins*
During World War II, numerous fighter planes were getting hit by anti-aircraft guns. Air Force officers wanted to add some protective armour/shield to the planes.
The question was "where"?
The planes could only support few more kilos of weight. Mathematicians were called for a short consulting project.
Fighter planes returning from missions were analysed for bullet holes per square foot.
They found 1.93 bullet holes/sq. foot near the tail of planes whereas only 1.11 bullet holes/sq. foot close to the engine.
The officers thought that since the tail portion had the greatest density of bullets, it would be the logical location for putting an anti-bullet shield.
A mathematician said exactly the opposite; more protection is needed where the bullet holes aren't - that is -around the engines.
His judgement surprised everyone. He said "He said We are counting the planes that returned from a mission. Planes with lots of bullet holes in the engine did not return at all".
Moral: Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
Source: From the book -
"How Not To Be Wrong", by Jordan Ellenberg.4 -
Interviewer: Hello my name is Alyssa from Sheeple and my pronouns are she/her
Dev: Oh yeah I saw that in your email
Interviewer: Ok well I am just letting you know they are still the same
Dev: Thanks for that.
Interviewer: What are your pronouns?
Dev: div/span
Interviewer: Sorry?
Dev: he/him
Interviewer: Oh…ok. Let me know if that changes.
Dev: I promise you it won’t
Interviewer: Well you never know!
Dev: …48 -
**at daily standup
Dev: and along with a push to production that is what I’ll be doing today
Manager: Good good, alright, nice….. ok who else hasn’t gone yet? Dev how about you go next
Dev: …I literally just went
Manager: What? Well what did you say then? Hey when is that push to prod happening? I feel like there should be one happening sometime soon.
Dev: …8 -
Recruiter: So you’re in Canada?
Dev: One sec let me check
*Points webcam out window at ongoing blizzard*
Dev: Yup, that looks like Canada to me
Recruiter: Ok I am just confirming
Dev: Me too8 -
Manager: I just created a new ticket! The website flashes when you reload it!
Dev: Yes, that's typically what happens when you reload a website.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
Manager: We should do X with the database
Dev: That will cause issue Y
Manager: But I read an article that said that issue Y wasn’t a problem
Dev: It did?
Manager: Well it didn’t mention issue Y
Dev: …2 -
Dropping out of college because it was useless, and getting a job in the industry while continuing to teach myself.
That way I was paid to learn instead of the reverse — and I learned newer and actually useful things. I also saved time to boot.
I might not have a masters degree, but that doesn’t matter, either. Experience is always better than a comparable amount of education.
Honestly, none of the good devs I have worked with held masters degrees. To a one, they were all self-taught.9 -
STOP TURNING THE LIGHTS OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE THE OFFICE TOILET!!!!
For fuck's sake, do not turn the lights off if you're not sure if someone is in there or not. Don't be a moron.19 -
I've found an affordable flat and it feels like winning the lottery. Before this one I wasn't even getting the overpriced ones!
*discards the tent*9 -
Dev: What are the requirements?
Client: I want to make my boss happy so that I get lots of money and promotions.
Dev: What does your boss want?
Client: He wants to be happy
Dev: …
Client: Also I don’t want to expend any effort or resources to achieve this
Dev: …4 -
Recruiter: Hello I’m recruiting for an exciting opportunity at a rapidly growing company with loads of potential
Dev: *Looks up company on google*
Dev: Their stock has been declining for the past 2 years. 3 months ago their valuation just dropped by 80%…. How are they growing?
Recruiter: Oh that happened to every company at the end of 2021.
Dev: …I guarantee you it did not.
Recruiter: …
Dev: …6 -
Manager: What's your time estimate on that latest ticket?
Dev: It's literally written in the "time estimate" field on the ticket, even in standard human units like "hours", "minutes", and "seconds"
Manager: ...
Dev: ...9 -
I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!
F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !16 -
My department is focused solely on web development. Of course we are part of the major portion of I.T
The entire I.T department got acknowledged for a very important piece of software. That I wrote.
The ceremony in which we were being recognized did not listed MY department, no, they listed the ENTIRETY of I.T.
Thing is, if this product was not delivered, then I was told that the blame would be MINE (I am speaking as the head of my department) but apparently if it succeeded (which it did) it is to be attributed to people that were not even involved in the project.
My employees tried calming me down when I got upset, one of them stated that it was not even our department's effort, but mine alone. And yes, I was the one that developed the solution. By myself, with complete testing, staging, the whole works. Everything, developed by me. BUT my employees held the entire department down while I was behind close doors developing this solution.
I was fucking upset, more so because my director sent an email thanking the entire I.T department for this "win"
I asked him through or messaging service if he could point out to me who else was involved, since I did not know of anyone else that did absolutely anything in this process other than myself and my guys.
Maybe the output of my program was parsed by another I.T department and something happened from it, maybe the money generated by the application (obscene amounts of it btw) were used to add more to the infrastructure etc, who knows, but as far as I know, you cannot say "if this fails it is on you" just for them to later on thank people that were not involved in the project.
This is why I would gladly move on to a different field. I don't want to be patted on the back constantly, I know how fucking good I am at what I do. But if I do something amazing I do not want to see those efforts being given to someone else.
The dev world is usually a thankless industry, but if thanks are given, then I want the sole credit.
If I am winning or loosing I want the whole fucking credit and you can be any more gangstah than that.10 -
Manager: Dev, you will submit to my leadership and surrender all common sense to agree with what I say or face consequences.
Dev: Manager, Fuck you!2 -
Remember to regularly defragment your drives on linux. use this handy command.
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sdX bs=1M
Terminology:
dd: Disk defragment
if: input file (the pattern to search for, and should always be /dev/zero)
of: output file (your disk, /dev/sda for instance)
bs: blocsize 1M is fine here17 -
> Take girlfriend to Starbucks
Me: I'll ask for a cold brewed coffee, what would you like?
She: I don't like coffee...
8 -
A web developer has started working on my windows.
How should I communicate with it that I don't want a website outside my windows? Will this be considered a covid layoff if I just throw it off the said window? 🤔
P. S. I'm talking about a spider, icymi.15 -
My last job application letter was literally: “I saw your add and since you don’t do web stuff I decided to apply”
Hired1 -
I once had a flash usb stick which i tried to rename to "/dev/null" just for the lols
Just to see the face of newbies as i pull files out of /dev/null 😂😂3 -
I don't know man.. I know it's !dev, I just wanna share with ye how beautiful my first Tomahawk steak turned out..
Relatively stressful week with requirements doing U-turns and 5 requirements all becoming first priority, I had my first feckup in a while (nothing bad, just wasted a couple people's time) and now I started off into the weekend with this beauty..
100% Irish grassfed beef with a glass of Redbreast 12. Now I wanna sleep and digest.. OR drink much more whiskey. Not sure yet.
Enjoy the long weekend guys 😬
17 -
Management : We need to deliver this by September!!!
Meanwhile every dev took 2-3 weeks of vacation in August.1 -
I can't figure out shit..
To be honest I created this profile just so I can write down somewhere what I am going through.
So, once upon a time I had graduated from college and went right into a corporate (has only been 2 years since). I was fortunate enough that I got assigned a project that was just starting, and even though I had no clue what was going on, I started doing whatever was assigned.
I initially worked in java and then finished all my tasks earlier than expected, so they switched me to another C++ project that builds on top of it.
Fast forward 2.5 years, I'm now the team lead of the CPP project and all my friends who were in the core team have left the company.
As usual, the reason behind it is shitty management. These mfs won't hire competent people and WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT retain the ones that are. I can feel it in my bones that it is time for me to leave, but fuck me if I understand what I am good at.
I have been able to handle all the tasks that they threw at me, be it java or c++ - just because I love logic and algorithms. I have been dabbling in ML and AI since 4-5 years now, but could never go into it full time.
Now I'm looking at the job postings and Jesus Christ these bitches do not understand what they want. I have to be expert in 34567389 technologies, mastering each of whom (by mastering I mean become proficient in) would need at least 6-8 months if not more, all with 82146867+ years of experience in them.
I don't know if I am supposed to learn on Java (so spring boot and stuff) or I'm supposed to do c++ or I'm gonna go with Python or should I learn web dev or database management or what.
I like all of these things, and would likely enjoy working in each of these, but for fucks sake my cv doesn't show this and most of the bitch ass recruiter portals keep putting my cv in the bin.
Yeah...
If you have read so far, here's a picture of a cat and a dog.
5 -
Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more
I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.
During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.
I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.
Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.
11 -
Python tip: some python functions have **kwarts (key-word) arguments, that means you can construct your parameter dictionary like so:
kwargs = { 'a':1, 'b':2}
And pass those arguments like so:
function(**kwargs)8 -
I've finished all my work. The Dev life is definitely for me. I love being a Dev. I am going to continue being a Dev. Ignore my previous rant.12
-
Half the papers on multimodal learning refer to studies on human children learning. Makes me wonder why we never study animals to know how their multimodal learning works so fucking well that some newborns can function straight out of the womb/egg.10
-
I'm finally realising my long time dream and making a programming language. It's a functional language resemblent in both appearance and usage to lambda calculus. I'll mostly be making plans down to the finest details until the end of summer, at which point if I can gauge the challenge I can hopefully submit this as a graduate project.
This is the first in a series of articles documenting my progress:
https://lbfalvy.github.io/blog/... -
Dear Depression Diary;
Didn't do jackshit today either.
Daydreamed about prince charming, but apparently my prince charming has been dealing with lots of trauma. Eh. It takes two to tango.
The "motivation letter" for uni has not been written yet, and I have serious doubts about writing it.7 -
Manager: How's (insert dumbass task that they assigned literally 1 hour ago) going? 😊
Dev: We have JIRA for a reason, you'll see it will be moved to demo / review when it's ready.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...2 -
Because DevOps in a lot of organizations is really “help desk for clueless developers”, conversations like this happen a lot:
Dev “hey the thing seems to be not working right”
Me “what does that even mean? I need you to be a good deal more specific. What thing. What isn’t working?”
Dev “I dunno”
Me “Are there error messages?”
Dev “yes”
Me “….would you like to share them with me?”
Dev *sends error*
Me “ok did you actually read this error message?”
Dev “yes”
Me “…so you’re good then? It says you’re trying to use a variable that hasn’t been declared yet. You should fix that. “
Dev “…”
Me “good luck”14 -
RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?
*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*
DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.
*3 week later*
DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.
DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.12 -
So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?
So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"5 -
Learn to read documentation and don't rely on 5 minute Youtube tutorials, stackoverflow or dev blogs for every little thing.6
-
First draft of motivation letter done.
... Now, I'm gonna go cry in a corner and eat cake. In no particular order.7 -
I've just finished my last day at work... I'm switching from being a 100% PM (almost 3 years) to being a 100% backend machine!
God, how I hated that job...8 -
Interviewer: Yeah so we're hiring you as the person who would build out and own our client-facing web application and related stack.
Dev: Perfect, that's what I've been doing for the past 10 years, I'm your guy.
Interviewer: GREAT SO WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FORK AND EXEC ON A PROCESS ON A LINUX MACHINE!?!?!?!?
Dev: I don't... know immediately at this moment?
Dev: Sigh
Dev: I hate my life
Dev: Somebody please help me18 -
Today in horror stories: setting up the local dev environment for a project I'm taking over creates changes and notifications in prod.
Oh and my local dev env is somehow receiving data from actual patients. I don't know how.9 -
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them7 -
At what point do I stop being a Jr dev? Is it a time spent in the field type of thing?
Or is everyone a Jr dev and titles are pointless.15 -
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)
Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"
Dev: ...
Manager: ...4 -
What you see:
"we gonna build a new application to replace our legacy one"
How to read:
"we gonna make you put more shit in the legacy app whenever we want and still keep asking about the new app you don't have the time to make"2 -
1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.
2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.
3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛
4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.
5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.
6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.
7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.4 -
I've forgotten how to make friends.
I think I've grown to the point where I can barely tolerate myself, let alone somebody else on a regular basis. Plus, being busy makes it hard to be decent to people and actually get back to their messages and calls.
Plus, I don't code anymore...
*Starts making another cocktail before the supervisor starts yelling*8 -
Filled a form where I had to put my name down as "Executive researcher" (just means that I'll be carrying the study) and now me feels disoriented and very confused. 😕
Heh.
But me is important. Me is executive something! Pehehehe.16 -
Sometimes I spend entire days working dark-to-dark with my headphones on
... without even listening to anything
And if I happen to be "in the zone", after the whole day of having my headphones on and not listening to anything, I take them off and feel like it's so quiet out of a sudden. It feels like I was in a noisy discussion (with myself) whilst I was "in the zone".
Just sharing my observations :)5 -
New developers. Tip: There is no silver bullet.
If you like Python, please understand GIL's behavior before making a system that handles thousands of requests.
If you like Java, know that "Write once, run anywhere" is a fallacy. Even application servers don't like the same WAR.
If you like PHP, understand the life cycle of a request before connecting to the database from all corners.
If you like C#, don't make it a small command-line application that will be used on FreeBSD.
If you like C, meet valgrind.
If you like C++, templates are cool, but don't overdo it. And take the opportunity to meet valgrind.
Never use the same tool to do everything. Elect the language and framework for the given need with rationality.
Every time I see a "Java Man", a "C++ Chad" or anything like that, it comes to mind that if he were a carpenter, he would be tightening screws with hammers.
Every lock-in is bad.11 -
!rant
It‘s just amazing how much a proper type system and a modern language makes refactoring a good dev experience.3 -
!dev (?)
Ughhh
I hate fucking school books,
My students get their books from the school, they got a 2014 edition, I got them from my employer, I got the 2019 edition.
"How different could they be?"
Totally different, the chapters are in a different order(Who learns classes before loops and conditions???) everything is different. "Okay", you might say, "surely it's just just a few pages prior or later right?"
No!
"So open your books on page 69(lol)" *Starts explaining*
Students: *Look confused* "ehm, Soldier? Are you sure that's the right page? I don't see the table"
Me: "Lemme check I'm not wrong" *Looks at the book* "Yeah, page 69, you see the table at the bottom?"
Student: "No?" *Shows me book*
Me: "Wait, that's not what I have, can you show me the book?"
*Looks at book, it's a completely different subject and chapter*
*Goes to ToC, finds the place where the table is*
It's on page fucking 98, this happens for a few more times.
"Okay forget the book, I guess I'l just draw everything on the board for now."
Fuck you book publishers or whoever is responsible for this cashgrab of planned obsolescence.5 -
Stories from Gary #000
Short background info:
So I'm working as a game dev for 3 years now and by now I can say that I've seen some shit. Mostly because of one of our game designers, let's call him Gary.
So Gary, from here on called GDG (Game Designer Gary), is a regular game designer (GD). His job is to come up with new game ideas, commission the assets, make sure that translations are done, etc. - simply put, he has to get a lot of shit together before we can start working on a new game.
Would be no problem at all if GDG wasn't lazy as shit and would work for once in his life. No dev really wants to work with him anymore, since he's known for calling a game or any issue "ready for development" even if half the assets or specs are still missing.
Let's move on to a particular situation that happened a couple of months ago.
I had an issue assigned to me, which was about implementing the translations for a new game. As I read the issue and checked if everything I needed was given, I noticed that the most important part was in fact missing - the keywords for the translations.
-.-
So, I called GDG and asked where I could find the keywords, to which he responded "Oh, I'm working on them right now... and by the way I got a weird bug with the translation program. Can you come check it out?". Sigh. I went over to his office, rambling about how I should be able to help him with a program I rarely use and which was written ages ago.
As soon as GDG saw me coming roundbthe corner, he started explaining how the keywords aren't ready yet, since the program to create translations and their keywords won't let him name a translation.
"I can create new translations, but I can't assign a keyword to them."
"Okay, show me what you did", I told him, eager to leave.
He started to type the keyword, which turned out to be huge ass long and immediately I noticed a little counter, like "x/50", directly beneath the text field started to count up with every new character GDG typed. See where I'm going with this? HE WASNT ABLE TO RENAME A TRANSLATION BECAUSE HE WAS TOO LAZY TO FUCKING READ AND CONCENTRATE FOR ONCE. Sorry for that, but even thinking about it gets me angry again.
To some this might sound like nothing, but it really got to me at this point. Maybe it will become more understandable as I post more GDG stories.
tl;dr: A 40 something year old man, who's been working in his job for over 10 years wasn't able to use a program which he daily uses and asks me for help, only to find out he's a complete dipshit.4 -
Show 10 lines of code to a dev.
Dev: It could be improved here and there, it can be optimized way better etc.
Show 5000 lines of code to dev.
Dev: Looks good!5 -
Fucking hate it when I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because of mental restlessness.
... Like, when the fuck did the evolution come up with this shitshow? And why?5 -
It's official, the "front end dev" doesn't know how to code.
Why.
And it's not a "Well I don't know JS because I use React." scenario, no. He has almost no idea of coding.
What was he thinking trying to build the front end of a very complex app with just HTML, CSS and stupid copied and pasted snippets?5 -
Here's a short story about luck:
A few months ago my wife signed a new job contract requiring relocation. However before starting that new job she got another (and much better) offer (also relocating to the same place) which she took on. Recently that first company fired 700+ people, including the unlucky one that filled her position.
If she had not gotten that second offer, she'd be out of a job after just relocating.1 -
You ever realize how small a newborn is? It's amazing how tiny humans can be. They're not even a full breakfast.16
-
I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.
Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.
Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.
My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.
I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.8 -
Any tips on how to properly document my code? I'm going to start my first internship soon so I need to learn it.12
-
We're visiting the capital of my wife's home country, and it's frustrating how taxi drivers take advantage of the people. They don't use the taximeter and ask for a higher amount than would normally be. It's only here, though, because where we live it is illegal not to use the taximeter.
When we arrived at the airport and took a taxi, the driver was fined during the way to our hotel and once we arrived, he asked for 9 to 10x the price, because of the fine. He wanted us to cover the fine for him. Of course, we denied, and she gave a much smaller amount, of which I still think it was too much. If it was me, I'd just toss a smaller amount on the car seat and walk off. What'd he do? Tie us, put us forcibly in the trunk, and drive back to the starting point?
Indeed, the cost of living here is expensive, but they assume everybody is rich, especially if it's a foreigner. To be honest, I'm not even working right now, and she earns in dollars. We can afford all of this, but it's infuriating how shitty they are. It makes us want to stay in the room doing nothing until our flight back.
I hope we won't need to come back here again.9 -
Alright, it looks like everyone at this bank, a client, I work for will now start avoiding me. I'm usually the only person that takes the time to review PRs and give a feedback. Everyone just seem to click accept because they can't be bothered.
A few months down the line, they begin to wonder why there is so many tech all over the place.
Good luck to anyone that wants me to review their PRs. I pledge to continue to take the time to review PRs and give feedback. I will not be pressured to click the accept button on what I perceive to be sub-optimal code. So help me God.2 -
So about two months ago in my consulting firm I was asked to replace a colleague on a project (node and Angular). The project is only a few months old but it’s already a total clusterfuck. DB is very poorly designed. It’s supposed to be a relational database but there’s not a trace of a foreign key or any key for that matter and I’ve seen joins like tableA.name = tableB.description (seriously, that’s your relation??). The code is a mess with entire blocks of code copied from another project and many parts of the code aren’t even used. He didn’t even bother renaming variables so they would make sense in the context they were shamelessly thrown into. The code is at best poorly typed if not typed at all.
During our dailies I sometimes express my frustration with my other colleagues as I very politely allude to my predecessor’s code as being hard to work with. (They are all “good friends" with him). I always get the same response from my colleagues: "yeah but you’ve gotta understand Billybob was under a lot of pressure. The user stories were not well defined. He didn’t have time to do a proper job". That type of response just makes me boil inside.
Because you think I have time to deal with this shit? You don’t think I’m working with the same client and his user stories that are barely intelligible? How long does it take to write type definitions for parameters going into a function? That’s right, 30 seconds at most? Maybe a minute if it’s a more elaborate object? How much time do you think you’ll save yourself with a properly typed function or better yet an interface? Hard to tell but certainly A LOT MORE than those 30 seconds you lost (no, the 30 seconds you INVESTED) in writing that interface!!!
FUCK people with their excuses! Never tell me you don’t have time to do a proper job! You’ve wasted HOURS of my time just because you were too fucking lazy to type your functions, too lazy to put just a little more thought into designing your tables, too lazy to rename a variable so that it’s name actually makes sense where it’s being used. It’s not because you were short on time. You’re just lazy!
FUCK!!!!!!4 -
Have been working on my project recently, bug fixing, aws configuring, containing the app, etc, etc. I've been sleeping close to 5hrs on average per day, juggling college finals, work, training and project labour, my activity here has been minimal but I figured some people might be going through the same and I wanted to share my last resource dev weapon...the jet fuel of dev fuels imo...DW coffee
I strongly recommend to use it in dire times (not a promo this thing got me through 13 hours of coding straight)
7 -
// TODO : Resurrect dev team
if(devRant.development ⩶ 'active')
devRant.notifications.addPanel({
content : [ '++' , 'comments' ] ,
type : 'split'
})6 -
Most web developers don't seem to care at all about ecological footprint and UX/UI impact on people and society, like they never cared about accessibility either, desperately dreaming to work for the Californian oligopoly companies that shaped our current digital infrastructure.
Meanwhile, rivers run dry, forest are burning, people starving and soldiers killing people.
But politics is taboo, even on devrant. Let's post a funny thank-God(?!)-it's-Friday GIF animation instead!?
What kind of people do we want to be?17 -
Once again, due to poor management, I find myself exporting svgs from Figma, saving them as pngs, and importing them into our application... (remember I'm a developer, NOT a designer)
Don't we have a design team who can export the needed assets for a feature?
"Noooooo fullstackclown can do all of that himself! He's an expert!!!"
The fucks are lucky I dabble in digital art as a hobby and even know how to do this stuff...
FML2 -
Hey, all you shitty devs who give my Udemy courses 1 or 2 stars with no comment or feedback
FUCK YOU!!!!13 -
We have a bunch of legacy applications that runs on Windows only. I'm pretty much the only dev here who doesn't use a Windows machine.
In order to run those applications, I need use remote desktop to a Windows VM.
I use a Mac. And I use a lot of keyboard shortcuts. Case in point, CMD + L to go to the address bar in the browser.
This happens every time when I need to access those applications.
me: *remote desktop to the VM
me: "oh I need to get to the index/landing page"
me: *CMD + L
VM: "I'm locked now"8 -
This is the strangest thing that has happened to me:
I once worked as a intern at a consultancy company. Me and another junior got a brand new customer project assigned to us (bad idea I know) we spent 2 months working on that project, building a website from scratch. The customer paid 10 000€ for it. The website sucked and didn't work properly in the end.
I ended up leaving the company for unrelated reasons and left the project. A couple of months later I asked the other junior whatever happened to that project and he said that the customer seemed to have forgotten about the project and no one was working on it anymore
Like what? How do you just forget about something you paid 10 000€ for? I mean I'm happy they did as it was the worst project I've built4 -
My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.
I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.
Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).
I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.
The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.
I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.4 -
Dev: Woah look at this code! I might be a genius!
Also dev a few months later: Woah WTH is this shit? Was I totally dumb or what?2 -
!rant
Communication is IMPORTANT, and the way to approach someone is also IMPORTANT.
I experienced that my colleague is from China, and his English accent is so strong (in the context of not understandable, like the word 'folder' he pronounces it 'foda', and the word 'code' he pronounces it 'korr') that I have to ask him to repeat himself (which sometimes I felt guilty to ask him to repeat for thrice, and I am still not able to understand) or maybe we can do it over text. It is much easier to understand him that way and I can leverage these texts to see a bigger picture of the message.
From this, I realised I need to work more on understanding what he is going to say and what he actually meant.
Any advice for me?9 -
Why do game studios force social/multiplayer in single player games?
Single player sandbox? How about we make it a multiplayer co-op?
Just fine 1 on 1 brawl? Hey how about you find a team and tag team? No? Too bad fuck you, no points to you for a whole fucking season.
Ugh.15 -
Things i have changed during this quarantine :
1. Switched to yarn from npm
2. Started using vim as default code editor.
4. added Ubuntu Subsystem
3. Picked Firefox .ditched chrome.
Do you have any new changes?15 -
Each time I login at GitHub and take
a look at featured repos, also when I realize the huge server destroyer bug it's just a misplaced line.
Sometimes I look at some repos and I'm scared to contribute...never contributed once.1 -
Companies that make things devs have to work with: please stop trying to implement your own version of markdown. I don't want to memorize 3 different ways of making links6
-
!dev
I actually wanted to find some answers but this guy took it to another level
https://qr.ae/pvP18s
4 -
Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.
Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.
The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.
Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.
Wait. Wtf?
Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.
Ok. No problem.
Let's do some drill action.
Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.
*some mopping action*
Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.
Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.
Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-
Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.13 -
"Pay more attention to the house"
Oh, really?
I'm working here!
Why every non tech person acts like I'm doing no fucking shit all day?
These types of things makes me want open my own fucking office.5 -
Last. Fucking. Exam. Coming. Up. Soon.
Just... I'm a bundle of confused emotions, knowing that I'll probably never sit in another mentally draining exam. Unless I'll have to sit for exams during phd, if I ever manage to do one.
I'll miss the adrenaline rush and the feeling of relief after the exam, despite however much I fucked it up. I feel like I'm completely closing one big chapter and stepping into my middle ages. 😞5 -
!dev
There are two weeks left until the PhD application results are published. But I'm having such awful nervous breakdowns. I don't even know, if it's anxiety or if I'm literally dying inside from something else. From an almost-heart-attack today when I got a trivial and unrelated bad-news email, to keep having weird dreams about things like end of the world and post-apocalyptic life, or being jumpy all the time.
... And it's not like it's life or death, I know that. I know that I can do other things if this doesn't stick. I know things will workout the way they should; I know all of those. But there's just something destroying my physical and mental health right now, and I don't even know if it's just the anxiety for the next big step in my career, or something else, or how I should deal with it.
... Anyways, amannoyed.7 -
!RANT
Web Devs - I need your opinions.
To make a long story short, when my fiancé and I first moved in together I changed cities. One day at the grocery store we ran in to one of his old buddies, whom I had never met. His buddy works as a counselor at a non profit organization for mental illness. His friend asked me some questions to get to know me and found out I was a web developer. He instantly got exited and told us they needed a new website for their non profit, and asked me what I charged. Being shy, put on the spot, newer to the industry (uncomfortable talking $ due to inexperience) and seeing the guy was paralyzed I felt I HAD to say yes. I also said I would consider donating the site to them, as I knew my other web dev friends had done that for other non profits.
They were easy to work with and the build went smooth. We chose Wordpress so that they could go in and update the site on their own. I was under the assumption that I would create the site for them, but that they would take care of changes on their own, that I wouldn't be "supporting it". I even trained the friend 2-3xs on how to use Wordpress and make changes, but they ALWAYS have changes every month, including slides and content creation. Being a noob at the time, I KNOW it's my fault for not being more clear on the I'll build it but not make changes thing, and I've tried to kind of get them to see that I'm too busy, politely.
We'll, 3+ years later I've now found success in a different career path that takes up ALL of my free time after my 9-5 corporate web dev position, and am no longer interested nor able to do freelance work, including supporting existing sites. Since we don't have a contract in place, and they've never given me a cent, i was thinking of giving them a notice at the end of this month saying as of 2018 I will no longer be able to take care of their website, and that they'll have to find someone else by that time? I feel bad because it's a non profit and they don't have a lot of money. I'm afraid they won't find someone else nor be able to afford it. The situation is a little more sticky since this is my fiancés friend and I don't want them to feel like I'm leaving them high and dry, cuz I know they're very thankful for the site. I just wish they understood that I never promised to do changes for them every month. Even if they offered me money, I just don't have the time. I'm 100% fine if they want to keep the site and my code, although they really could use a redesign anyways cuz my code back then was terrible. What are your thoughts on this? Is 5 months fair? Am I doing the right thing?8 -
When people ask me what I do for a living I reply : "I'm dev" (Which is "Je suis dev" in french) and people always think I'm called Dave4
-
You know, it's way past 2 AM and I'm insomniac (as usual) and ... I'm overthinking. Someone distract me plz until I fall asleep.
...on another note, if you can, show me a motivational video that has actually motivated you.18 -
Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.12
-
Companies: We're starting to rotate people back through the office
Devs all drinking their desks: Please no2 -
HR: "you are the highest paid dev on team"
Dev: Then not just me, the entire team should get a hike 🥴
HRs are hired because they are good negotiators.
#aFriendsStoryAtABigMNC -
Wasted a day as Shitlock Holmes with the build chain.
It would not reproduce the firmware hexfile that had been checked in. Reverse engineering that along with the mapfile to find out the cause, it was a const string that was guarded by an ifdef from another file that was auto-generated as prebuild step via a script that fetched some version control info.
Or, it would have been if the installation instructions had been correct and someone had described that no spaces in the absolute path name of the project are allowed. Otherwise, that shit just failed silently.
I then had to reverse engineer the intended workflow from the commit history in the version control to figure out that the last dev obviously hadn't quite understood the project specific workflow and how the version control interacts with these build scripts.
At least, I finally did get a matching hexfile.1 -
Every Node.js dev today - Deno is awesome! Much better than Node. Let's use Deno.
Still every Node.js dev - Why can't Deno run my simple code? Why can't they make Deno work exactly like Node?7 -
I think a good path to dev education is if you are interested in it as a teen and try out coding and keep failing. Persistence and interest will bring you farther than just going straight to uni/dev school.1
-
I produced this Apple development rant into a clip:
https://youtu.be/MVduaVD1YE4
If you're a mobile dev, you'll probably find it familiar...8 -
!dev
I wanted to prank a colleague. And he ruined it by showing up to the site of prank way too early, despite him having had clear instructions as to "let me know" once he gets to the office.
Anyways, as I was going to lengths getting this damn skeleton yesterday, I was thinking how much more fun it would be if my highschool bestfriend was here instead of him, and what greater lengths I'd go just to prank her. Halloween specially would be prank every day for a week! 😆
Now, point to make, is that the mentioned bestfriend is well and alive, just wants to live her life her own way, and that doesn't include having a goofy friend such as me as close anymore (and I feel that's fair, however much I don't like it)
But that I am projecting my friendship with her on this new friend/colleague... creepy of me, I know, but like... also sad. Like I felt bad for myself for a second there. How many times in a lifetime do you get to feel bad for yourself?
*Cue Joji's Glimpse of Us*6 -
!dev
Anxiety in my brain is like Mozart's Lacrimosa is playing out of key and proper arrangement.
So. Fucking. Annoying.6 -
My worst experience with a designer was when one forgot to design the website mock up for 2 weeks... so I just did it myself. Thankfully I have a degree in both development & design and bullshited my way through it. We were swamped at the time so I wasnt too thrilled to be doing his job. He somehow still has a job here, even though he's lazy and his mockups suck. 🤐😵👎
-
Work is still going great, but I'm killing myself with general anxiety about other things...
Covid, laptop is gone for now, phone is acting up, I don't have any backup device, I'm running out of money, need to fix my teeth soon enough, health-wise I'm pre-diabetic and almost obese, (not look-wise, rather weight-wise) as well I will need to check for hormones because I'm growing body hair more than I should and still am losing head hair more than I should, and I should quit smoking.
... but I still love the work I do, so what does life and gods have against me? :|
I have been taking deep breaths more often to just not lose my shit these days. Like, unless I end up in a great situation next, this all is so unfair.3 -
>Be me
>Pale af
>Burn easy af
>Start balding in 20s
>That's annoying in the first place
>"JUsT sHaVe yOuR hEaD tHeN"
>Don't like caps/hats
>Live in South Africa, see above about burning12 -
My family STILL doesn't know what I do to this day. I graduated 3 years ago and have been in the industry since. They think I'm a designer. 🙄 No, mom and dad. I CODE. 😂2
-
Feel utterly deflated today. Working with an API that gives no feedback what so ever. Going around in circles and making little progress. What’s worse is we quoted 1 days work.
With all my experience I should be better!2 -
Anyone else noticed how Comp Sci teachers are always useless so you just end up teaching yourself way more than they've taught you?12
-
Any other South Africans here?
What y'all think of the loadshedding?
I think the bastards should all be rounded up and charged with treason and manslaughter14 -
C/C++ - complex, very fast, used for OS dev
Java - Comparatively easy, fast, used app dev
Python - very easy, comparitively slow, used for app dev
Then there is this boy
Rust - Just fucks you up10 -
Wound up talking about baby names with a friend
Apparently wanting to name my hypothetical future daughter Buffy is ridiculous13 -
Question of the day:
What to do when listing fees on exchanges too high?
Answer:
Unicorn;)
And a happy new year (delayed though :p)!
11 -
Brain : Hey, there's this task that needs to be done
Me : oh sure, let me do it
* tries to do it unsuccessfully a few times *
Brain : ...
Me : ...
Brain : DON'T YOU --
Me : * Opens devrant and starts scrolling *
Seriously though, if you guys could suggest some good cmake tutorials ( I'm using VSCode and GCC 8.1.0 for compilation ) - that'd be swell :)
Keep rocking!2 -
That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE8
-
Anybody else work dual screen and every once in a while thinks.
You know want, I need a third screen!9 -
Finally got my first dev job. I am looking at the code base for my company. And it’s like I know how to code in this language. But I don’t know half of the advanced shit they’re doing. I understand they have more experience than me. But I’m just not sure how to catch up to them. Or be even on the same level as them? I guess just more out of office learning?
I can read what they’re putting in the code and understand how it works. But like how they came up with it I have no clue. I guess I’ll learn over time and have to put in some extra man hours.5 -
This is a continuation of my previous rant...
I did it! I overcame my anxiety to work on the dev database (don't worry, I made backups). At first I got really anxious and almost panicked at the thought of possibly messing up and procrastinated a few minutes. After the intial anxiety has passed I just did it and it worked. I didn't destroy anything nor did I made any mistakes. One step closer to becoming more confident when working with company assets4 -
I’m not sure why my dev tools feels the need to change warnings to a foreign language, but thanks Chrome!
9 -
I chose my next milestone as a dev. I’m gonna ask a question on stackoverflow. I just need a question 🤔10
-
We need a code shortcode here for more dev jokes.
[code]
if (int devrantpoints <= 10 && bathroombreak) {
cout << newrant ();
}
[/code] -
Dum acts, Every hacker scene in movies screen contains htop and cmatrix, even sometimes 'sudo apt update && upgrade ' is enough .
3 -
I tried mate!
I'm not sure if I like it that much!
@darksideofyay got me into mate tea and I just had to try it for some unknown reason.
I didn't get the pot and bombilla because that seemed unnecessarily expensive for a tea I had not tried.
I got the tea leaves, brewed them like green tea and it didn't work at all. The flavour was lacking and it was a letdown.
But I knew I was drinking it wrong. I needed bombilla. But hold on, @darksideofyay was brewing her toasted mate like tea. So I toasted a handful of leaves and brewed it.
And yay! I like that thicc tobacco aroma. The taste profile is better than green tea but nowhere near the black teas. All in all I'm convinced I need to try it with bombilla.
Fun times.30 -
Worst: Not landing a decent job
Best: dev-wise, none really.
It has been a rather shit year, really.15 -
Dev superstition:
Before installing anything I still cd to the root directory.
Like it even matters 🙄2 -
Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?
They are both useless when you open windows. -
NPC stereotypical dev: "I self identify as socially awkward."
NPC stereotypical dev: <Gets irrationally angry about friendly banter.>
NPC stereotypical dev: "I hate people who try to interact with me socially."
And knowing is half the battle. GI Joe!1 -
Thread about Quality Analysts/Testers!
I've seen that Managers and HR get a lot of shit thrown their way but I'm surprised to see no love for our QA friends
What was your worst experience with a QA/Software Tester? When was the last time you felt like punching your monitor over an argument with them?
If you're a QA, what has been your worst experience with developers?7 -
My body decided to work against me
Last 3 days my “sleep schedule” has been “stay in bed with eyes closed until it’s morning without falling asleep”
If I go insane please tell my dog she was adopted. Ah… insanity is starting to kick in, next steps I’m defending pascal and managers…2 -
!dev
So my (public) health insurance should cover a test I'd like to make. But if I don't want to call a bunch of clinics every week for months only to get an appointment a year later eventually I'll have to pay myself (to get an appointment in a few months instead). -
!dev (feel free ignore my rambling)
Fuck my piece of shit landlord that doesn't want me to provide a next tenant because they already have someone (without visiting, I believe they have some shady dealing since I noticed a pattern in regards to the last two flats that changed tenants) and doesn't give a shit about the kitchen I had built in / says "maybe you can leave it [for free] or maybeee the owner will take it but don't expect as much as 500 or 600€ and whatever the owner proposes is non negotiable [...] if you wanna take it out we'll buy a new one" (i.e. fuck you we rather pay 4k for a new one than give you the 2k it's worth)
(╯° □°） ╯︵ ┻━┻
aaaaargh this certainly doesn't help my stress levels which are already 11/10 with the flat search1 -
A new year, a new job.
After a years hard graft learning front end code I finally landed my first dev job!
Even though the job is a while away, there will be nothing stopping me getting there and learning all I can in this industry.
#bosh2 -
Guess, I'm slithering my way out from "tough dev days" by mentoring. I tell you, it's very convenient.3
-
[!dev]
Sometimes I feel an overwhelming lack of willpower that prevents me from moving except for my eyes. It passes within a minute and leaves a temporary tiredness. I didn't really think about it until now and I have no idea why, but yesterday it happened while a friend was talking about something they're passionate about and I realised that this is very far from normal. Have you experienced something like this?5 -
So I've just been proposed by my (now ex) team leader to be the next team leader. I'm scared to death because this is something completely new to me.
What are your views on the move from development to team leader? How did you handle the transition?4 -
Last week summary:
-questioning my identity (I’m cleaning and realised I forgot I used to like many activities I forgot and decided to give them more time)
-questioning how tf my unconscious seems to always plan ahead of me (ah yes I can do this cause I prep… why tf did I prepare for this?)
-questioning my skills (just a standard imposter syndrome, nothing to see here, move on)
-questioning my worth (as above)
-questioning how tf somebody connected to a secret account I have (spoiler: they don’t know and it’s a crazy coincidence… but now I know secrets about them 😏)
-randomly freezing during everyday life for all the above points
Job wise all is cool, tho 🎊2 -
StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?3
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New strategy to combat managers:
If you claim we can't afford the additional time for the tests that come with the feature, I won't build the feature.
If you claim we can't afford the additional time for the proper API versioning that comes with the feature, I won't build the feature.
And finally, if the internationalized texts, designs, and image assets are not complete when it comes time for development, I won't build the feature.
It's time to rise and stand against the "You're an engineer! do it all!" notions. I'm not a designer. I'm not a translator. I'm not a by-hand manual customer tester. And I'm certainly not going to take any more of your shit.2 -
In the midst of considering to be an AI engineer, data science or embedded programmer.
Plan to retire from mobile dev, backend dev and webdev. -
Client: bug: downloading invoice pdf filename is F0000%20client%20project.pdf, fix this!
Dev: Safari browser has this problem since 2014, options are installing chrome on mac or saving file as F0000_client_project.pdf
Client: no, fix this!
Dev: 😫5 -
Will web3 solve the problem of wealth accumulating at the top?
Normally, those in management positions (founders, VCs, CXOs) get rich while most of the actual-work and thought-work doers struggle to meet their financial needs.
Can web3 decentralisation help employees accumulate wealth in right proportion to the work that they do?
If you feel that it can, how?
If you feel that it can't, why? What are the challenges?18 -
How is everyone handling their day job lately? I'm feeling pretty safe about my position, but my day-to-day is definitely suffering as my mind wanders off.
Cost of living crisis, trying to have a social life, impending fatherhood, all while trying to do good work and improve my knowledge. Not easy.3 -
Building your e-commerce looks easy for a dev. Just build a webapp and cry over it not getting hits 🤷♂️.
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I’ve mainly switched to Linux/Mac. So I don’t know if this Windows Dev Kit thing is exciting to anyone. Is it?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...1 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
Me: *applying for software dev roles or product roles*
Also me: *applying for masters in swe or mba*
Also also me: *gets hired as a multimedia dev intern for pissmoney*1 -
Yo guys any advice or tips for product dev/product management (internship) and all would be awesome1
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Recently changed my laptop over to Linux. Now I have to write twice as many bat/shell files for every project.10
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dude why there so many dum fuck in this industry like people who just graduated , and don't know shit about tech or anything but flex and complain about shit just can accept that they don't know any shit this many years fucking noobs nothing like why are they , this don't deserve jobs just make bug and always call for help like why cant they figure out their shit, its just cant just spoon feed they every time, like i dont know what happens to this people after or they just survives in it? just tired of getting my ass on whenever they suck dude they dont know how to commit git lol , but never accepts , i am not talking about one person its like a species now , they dont even try to learn even tho they get jobs for no way , itrsucks2
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!rant
Finally set my first big ticket to "QA" and I hope it get's through. I put in a lot of work and it feels nice to have accomplished something.
But now I'm sitting here, waiting for another ticket to float in so I can do something. I've been sitting here all day and I'm writing reusable code snippets for VS Code so I can use them in the future.
Does this happen often in the life of a developer that you have to wait a few days until you get to do something meaningful again?3 -
I don't know why, but even though I have years of experience doing agile both in school and at work, I seem to have a hard time adjusting to the agile work method because I always seem to want to do waterfall.
I don't like the stress of having to rush out a product, nor do I like working on an unknown piece of software (framework/library) without knowing it fully; it just itches me and I get obsessive.
I don't like creating just a piece of functionality and rush it out the door, but I rather like doing it in an R&D type way where I get years to finish a product that I slowly work on, like a modern-age philosopher and scientist.
I know there are companies out there that have this approach, but sadly most of them are agile 'cause they all wanna be cool.. LoL
I'm an old mind in a modern world..2 -
Ok so a few weeks after contract termination I manage to get hooked up with another startup and jumped on a project
The grate part about this is they even paid half upfront -
i want to deploy websockets on multiple servers with horizontal scaling. i don't know what to use. redis pub/sub? haproxy? i wanna know your opinions. ❤️6
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does anyone here into blockchain? hows it going.. Is it good to switch from Full stack dev to blockchain . I have covered the basic.. don't know whether or not should I go into this field .. Its just am getting free learning .. but not sure whether or not I have to switch into this7
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Advice to New Devs: Peer review code with co-workers and constantly learn and improve. Ask a lot of questions and during your down time learn something new. :)
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My boss, Business people call dev code monkey bec they act as money is shown, like monkey likes banana! Dances Which is kinda wired like what they think we are (felt like shit)3
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!dev
Currently, cause holiday camp for the children
Probably a good idea to collect some social skills there, as that's nothing that is required or learned with my dev job -
How bash does not support redirecting stderr to /dev/null when using read redirection inside command substitution is F*CKING ANNOYING.
x=$(</foo/non_exitence_file.txt 2>/dev/null)
Why do people still use this shit of a shell?3 -
I was approached by some guy on a project and I need your help figuring out how to go about this.
the project is basically a website where school owners who are not tech savvy can input necessary details about their school and it spins up a site from an existing website template built in react for them.
an extra complexity will be creating custom domain names for each site. will this also be possible ?
I've not done something like this before and I dont know the word for it so making a Google search has been quite hard
my stack is javascript MERN stack.1 -
Fucking mql5 - code gives no errors, it should create a file but it does not. Why is that?
https://pastebin.com/nUL47eMf
I have searched all my computer, there is no such file.9 -
Been using python for a couple years now. I've had brief ventures into Java and C# but they weren't for me. I've been looking into Cpp recently (watching cherno tutorials etc). Can anyone recommend a good written resource for learning?
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One of the things I find annoying about today's development is having to use package managers.
Here I am, trying to just simply install a package. Oops! The version of x you are running is not compatible with y. *fixes it and runs it again* Oops! The version of y you are running has dropped support for z.
How about! You just! Let me! Code! And stop! Making me waste time! On project scaffolding! For each! And every! Framework! Library! Or whatever!
*pulls my hair out*
lol4 -
vue errors impossible to know where it caused
https://pasteboard.co/E5ynqes5IISK....
when I click on vue.js?3de6:634
it just gives some inside file. No stack trace to my file. Are you thinking what you are creating? Or are you making it to make it more difficult to debug vue creators?
https://pasteboard.co/geCmKtufSmQI....3 -
I know it made sense resource wise, but being on constant support/incident tickets, bug fixes, out of hours & weekend deployments for the past like four months really drains you.
Though, now I have the opportunity of completing half a sprint on my own, while dealing with the ongoing incident tickets.
Not exactly what I hoped for, but I guess it's a change.1 -
When you describe to the business owner as a dev that this is a bad idea but they want it anyways so you just go on and dev it. Then 1 month into dev hell thinking about hanging your self for poor choices they go “This future is too difficult for the customer to understand and its not going to work”. Do you say i told you so or do you hang him with a mouse cable?1
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Was given 24 hours to come up with a payroll solution
opensource or develop one
any opensource resource to help ?7 -
One of our previous clients is not paying the rest of the payments after receiving the codes. What are the things we can/should do digitally to make them pay the payment?
btw, it was a web app. we worked on the front end and the backend of the app. So, naturally we know all the API endpoints, we have the database access, and so on. So yeah, we can do so many things.
But still I wanna ask you guys, what would you do to make someone pay?3 -
Hi everyone
I have a python script that continuously collects data for me. I want to be able to display that data on a node js server. How should I go about this? I was thinking of maybe having the python script send get requests to the server but I feel that is not the right answer. Let me know if u guys need more info, thanks!5
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